Updated

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," April 19, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Jeez. Oh, hey, look at you. Happy Tuesday. What a marvelous time to be alive. Well, if you weren't working for CNN Plus. Sick burn, but you should consider yourself lucky and grateful. And not just because you're watching the former Calvin Klein underwear model who also happens to be the king of late night. Although you should be. Gratitude matters. I even thanked my assistant today by not making her cry.

When the soup she brought me had only three slice shallots instead of four. I still threw it in her face. So, do you know -- do you show enough gratitude for all the great things in your life? Are you grateful for your family? Your friends, your proctologist with really slender fingers? That matters? And what about me? Are you thankful for me? Then why don't you show it? Why not get a tattoo of my name on your face? What's stopping you?

Your upcoming job interview? Your loved ones? Dignity? Well, that's not stopping Luis Angel Hernandez. This L.A. gang member convicted of murder vows to get the ultra woke district attorney George Gaskon's name tattooed on his face for shaving years off his sentence. Now he might be lying. After all, he is a murderer. But it's great. Now we can identify fail liberal policies by the tattoo on our assailant's faces.

Hernandez had pleaded guilty to murder as well as personal use of a firearm for the killing of a pot delivery person back in 2018. It raises the question, what other kinds of uses are there besides personal use when you're the shooter? Last time I checked Smith and Wesson didn't have a friends and family plan. But also, he killed a pot delivery person. Why not just kill Santa Claus? Am I right, Kat?

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Because I do drugs.

GUTFELD: The audio of a jailhouse phone call obtained by Fox News has the murderer gushing about the great things Gascon did for him.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

LUIS ANGEL HERNANDEZ, CONVICTED MURDERER: Now we got a new D.A. in L.A., so they're going to -- I got court on the 14th, fool. Right there in Compton on Thursday, so, they're going to drop a gang of lie my gun enhancement, my gang enhancement. My gang enhancement is 10 years, fool, for being a gang member.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Gascon or whatever (BLEEP)

HERNANDEZ: I'm going to get that (BLEEP) name on my face. That's a champ right there.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: True. Gascon is making historic changes for all of us, not just murderers. We pass laws and then he ignores them just like the criminals. And with people like Hernandez back on the streets, we become history too. And if he kills us, all he has to do is get another tattoo. Your last words could be, why would you ruin your face? But of course nothing says tough on crime like getting a ringing endorsement from a convicted murderer.

At least someone is finally thanking Democrats. But then again, maybe perps getting tattoos to celebrate skating free is more common than we think.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GENE NELSON, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Man, the story about that tattoo guy's insane, huh?

TIMPF: No, who hasn't gotten a tattoo to celebrate beating the system?

NELSON: Wait a minute, you've done that?

TIMPF: Yes. This is why beat that shoplifting charge.

NELSON: Wow. Kat, that is absolutely insane. You look like you're in a biker gang.

TIMPF: This one on my stomach. This is what I didn't get in trouble for lawyers.

NELSON: Oh my god. The colors are so vivid. It really accentuates your men drift.

TIMPF: Oh, my favorite one is probably this one on my bicep. I didn't even get in trouble for taking a tag off of mattress.

NELSON: Oh my god, you're so muscular and hairy.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That is an old timer. So -- so hairy. Initially, this gangbanger faced a life sentence without the possibility of parole. Facing what's called several enhancements. And I'm not talking about collagen injections or breast implants. For example, being in a gang should add 10 years to your sentence. But that means of course more jail time and in the modern woke and book, that's the very worst.

Containing criminals is seen as oppressive, especially to them. It infringes on their rights to go out and mug, rape or murder. And do you really have the right to deny them that right? They're oppressed enough as it is. But in a world with pregnant men, the perpetrators are the victims. After all, we're just subjects in the left's great cultural experiment. What happens to us when we lead violent thugs out into the general population and eliminate disincentives for crime?

You don't have to be Matlock or Angela Lansbury or any other T.V. detective that I have a poster up next to my bed which is shaped like a race car. FYI. Of course, after those enhancements were dropped thanks to Gascon back in 2020, crime and murder shot up quicker than Nikki Sixx three minutes before Showtime. So, hence, the show of appreciation by getting a new tattoo.

Now every time someone asks about the tattoo, we asked to tell them, it's because I'm a murderer. Well, good luck getting a job. But you got to hand it to Gascon, he's got some serious street cred. I mean, gangbangers love this lawyer. Their victims not so much. But I don't know if there's anything I love that much to get its name tattooed on my face. Let me think. Hmm. Yes. I wonder what Kat would have.

Jerk. Although -- hair jerk. Although details of Hernandez's new sentence aren't clear. According to Fox News, he'll be able to qualify for youth offender parole, or YOP. It's limits his sentenced to 25 years. And if you think he'll serve that out, you're as nutty as a king size payday bar. He'll finish his sentence around the time I finished this one.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He's on our list of 40 under 40 who look like they're 14. Host of the "GUY BENSON SHOW," and Fox News Contributor, Guy Benson. She puts the fun in discussing hybrid money market funds. Fox Business Correspondent Susan Li. He's called box office poison because the audience takes cyanide. Writer and comedian Joe DeVito. And finally, she proves blondes have more fun. If by fun, you mean arrest warrants. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf.

You know, before we start, I just want to point out that half our studio audience is stuck in an elevator. That's a smaller audience. I'm not kidding. Gene is stuck in an elevator. Been there for like a long time. You know what, I don't care. I don't care. You know, he is, that's where he is.

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: I did not know that.

TIMPF: Really?

GUTFELD: Yes. He's stuck in an elevator. Been there for a long time. So, anyway, all right. Back to the show. Back to the show. What is the point of being a woke D.A.? Like, why would you -- Why is it -- does letting criminals back onto the street help them like what is the point?

GUY BENSON, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: First of all, I want to make sure that I get my royalty check for that shot of the tattoo on my abdomen.

GUTFELD: Are you that hairy? Kat is --

BENSON: Come on.

(CROSSTALK)

SUSAN LI, FOX BUSINESS CORRESPONDENT: That's a very personal question.

GUTFELD: I mean, the kind of bear you like.

BENSON: Greg knows. Greg knows the answer to his own question actually. But look, I think you're going at this whole story all wrong. You're of course coming at it from a very negative perspective. Very Fox News of you.

GUTFELD: Yes. That's t rue.

BENSON: Like this is an inspirational story of redemption. There's a beautiful friendship that's blossoming here and you just want to focus on the murderer.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: I mean, sometimes murderers get tattoos representing their victims. This guy is getting one representing the guy who's helping him out. Like his D.A. buddy. And I think this could be like, maybe a sitcom or something in this on CBS.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: So you're saying it's like -- this is like progress. It's like progress. We've gone from -- we've actually -- and it is a -- it -- it's kind of impressive that he knows enough about Gascon.

BENSON: No, he's like a walk on the details of criminal justice --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes. Exactly. Exactly.

BENSON: It's impressive.

TIMPF: What else are you going to do in prison?

GUTFELD: Yes. He's going to be out soon, Kat, so you better say something nice about him.

TIMPF: He's cute.

GUTFELD: Oh. Susan, is there any --

LI: No, thanks.

(CROSSTALK)

LI: Is Gene locked up right now?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Gene is -- Gene is -- Gene is in the elevator. But I want to ask you --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: From the business perspective --

(CROSSTALK)

LI: I have -- just being --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Don't worry about Gene. Gene is so -- Gene is a big boy, he can handle himself. Let's talk about what are impacts of face tattoos in job interviews? You're on the FBN.

LI: Yes.

GUTFELD: What -- do people get -- it's got to reduce your chances for a job.

LI: Yes. Well, yes. I don't even think about it that way. Because I thought it was a stupidest thing to celebrate getting out of life in prison with a permanent tattoo on your face. But that makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: No. But in terms of safety, though, I do have to point out the high crime rate here in New York.

GUTFELD: Right.

LI: Because my family was very concerned about me with the Brooklyn shooting.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: I haven't been on the subway in 2-1/2 years as an Asian woman. I feel kind of scared getting on the New York subway.

GUTFELD: I would too. And I'm not an Asian woman. Today anyway. Who knows what I'll be up to this weekend. Whatever you want, Joe DeVito. Whatever you want. Nice little combination with the black shirt and a blue jacket.

DEVITO: Thank you. Thanks.

GUTFELD: Where's your pipe? I don't know what I'm saying.

LI: Wow.

GUTFELD: Where does this go? I mean, like we know this, we see this and it's like it's still happening. Why does -- where are the adults?

DEVITO: I don't -- I don't know. Gascon has done an amazing job here but look at the support he has, he's got both the Crips and the Bloods complementing him.

GUTFELD: The unifier.

DEVITO: Bipartisanship.

GUTFELD: Yes. If they can do it, so can the Republicans and the Democrats.

DEVITO: Yes, he's reached across the aisle.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: For these people. It's amazing to me that these people in power seem to have such hatred for the people they represent that they're watching the crime go up and that he's even got a fanboy who's getting a tattoo on his name. And that is just -- that's absurd. You know, he should get -- he should get a Q.R. code tattooed so that when he's committing his next crime, you just take a picture with your phone, and it goes directly to the police report.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. I love Q.R. codes. Is that fun?

DEVITO: Sometime because they're not -- they're not concerned with keeping people like this in prison.

GUTFELD: Yes, I'm just talking about --

LI: Being scanned.

GUTFELD: I just hate when you get like a plastic menu with previous food on it. It drives me crazy. You sit down, you got the big giant Cheesecake Factory menu, they've got so many options. And yet it -- all this stuff starts sliding down into your lap. And it's like, I don't need that. I like the Q.R. code. There's no food stuck to the Q.R. code, Kat. Did you ever notice that?

TIMPF: I guess I haven't thought about it as much as you have.

GUTFELD: That's why, you know, that's why I'm here asking the questions. You're answering them. You're answering them.

TIMPF: Are you going to ask me a question?

GUTFELD: I'm looking for a good one.

TIMPF: OK.

GUTFELD: I had a question for you. And I changed my mind because I'm a little bit worried about Gene trapped in elevator.

LI: Yes.

TIMPF: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: You know, it's like -- it kind of like throwing me off a little bit. Threw up my game.

TIMPF: But it's throwing him off too.

GUTFELD: No. I can almost hear him faint -- his faint screams. And, you know, there's not a lot of air in that elevator. And he's a big boy.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Let's talk about tattoos. You've dated men with neck tattoos.

TIMPF: Of course, several, yes. But that's because it's hot.

GUTFELD: All right.

TIMPF: What?

GUTFELD: Tell me how many --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: There'll be a guy, he's not that attractive. Then he's got a neck tattoo. And you're like, all right.

GUTFELD: There you go. All right. Well, it's good to know.

LI: It has to be in the neck or can it be anywhere else?

TIMPF: It's hotter on them. I mean, preferably, it's all over the place. But --

GUTFELD: What do you make of this? What are you -- let's stick to the topic. You've gone off topic. It's very --

TIMPF: I took us there. Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. You took us there. You're like a drunk mom on a field trip.

TIMPF: Not yet. Someday maybe.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I think that, you know, in general, I think a lot of sentencing enhancements and mandatory minimums can lead to a lot of injustice. I don't like the way that they kind of removed the ability to consider things on a case by case basis. I don't think that the place we should be starting is getting murderers out early.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I think that there's a lot of things we can improve in terms of our criminal justice system. I'm not -- I'm not losing sleep over murderers. I might lose sleep with more murderers around.

GUTFELD: Yes. Well, you're talking about the problem here is recidivism. Right? We used to lock people up who repeatedly did things. Now we let them out and they receive devise. I think that's a verb.

TIMPF: He didn't do things, he did a murder.

GUTFELD: He did a murder.

TIMPF: That's the one I really don't like.

GUTFELD: No. And then they just keep doing it over and over again. Isn't Gascon being recalled?

TIMPF: I think he is.

BENSON: There's a recall, I believe petition against him. And there was a recall election against his clone up in San Francisco a few weeks from now.

GUTFELD: Yes (INAUDIBLE) boot on?

BENSON: Yes. A lot of people will be watching that one very closely.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: The thing is -- and I think Kat's point is really important. Like on a more serious note, policy wise, I think we can talk about criminal justice reform for nonviolent offenders.

GUTFELD: Right.

BENSON: And this is what -- this is how they sell it typically to us, but this is the most violent offender. This is a murderer and a gang member who used a gun. They say they're all against guns and then they're figuring out ways to get him out of prison earlier. That is the opposite of good public policy and it's going to swing the pendulum back hardcore to like a law and order message. And I think that's part of the reason Republicans are going to sweep up in November.

GUTFELD: It's a -- it's a good point for people who talk about gun control but it is -- it's a bait and switch than murder. It's like we just want the not -- the peaceful people out but all the people that are being led out there's a lot of violence and it's going to be 70,000 more that are being released I guess over this year in California alone. A number I just made up. No, I didn't. I either that or I dropped it. But there is 70,000 -- I remember it.

All right. Before we go, another reminder. This is so exciting. We're less than two weeks away from welcoming back our studio audience. It's going to be a big one. Starting May 2nd, we got a new studio. To get your free tickets go to foxnews.com/gutfeld. Up next. Does Disney need a plan for a more inclusive Peter Pan? Maybe. Any word from Gene? Still stuck? Still stuck in the elevator?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Should they throw the book at Captain Hook? And should other fictional characters get banned in never Neverland? According to The New York Times, a paper, two Disney executives say the company flagged several animated characters as potentially problematic as it was preparing to launch Disney Plus three years ago. Like to launch that thing if you know what I mean. I don't know what I mean.

The concern, some might perpetuate negative stereotypes, you know, of hard working dwarves like me. Among those flags -- I'm not that short. Though some of the -- what they were concerned about was Tinkerbell because she's body conscious and jealous of Peter Pan's attention. Well, who wasn't? And of course this casts a negative stereotype on people identifying as tiny magical fairies.

Captain Hook. Apparently there were fears he'd exposed Disney to accusations of discrimination against people with disabilities since he's a villain with a hook for a hand. But also he might discourage children from going into pirating. That's unfair. Now it might seem absurd that Disney was so fearful of their back catalogue but they're also terrified of the one percent of their employees who are woke nut jobs.

You think it'd be pretty chill considering Walt's been frozen solid for 45 years. But sometimes they do make the right call. You got to admit. I mean do you remember the original Mickey Mouse and friends? Holy crap.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yo, what up mother (BLEEP) so glad we killed that family and took their house.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh (BLEEP) yes, dude.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Who wants human fingers? Caught them fresh from the orphanage. Wooh.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: There you go. All right, P. Gene. He was the voice of Goofy. Susan, let's be honest. Let's be honest. Disney is in trouble. They're like a divorced guy going through like a -- what do you call it, a midlife crisis?

LI: A divorce guy?

GUTFELD: Yes. Disney's going -- Disney's going through the -- they're like, oh my god, we were not cool. I need to get an earring. I need to get my hair dyed blonde. I need to get like -- I need to get a grill. That's what the people say. They're in trouble.

LI: Or younger girlfriend.

GUTFELD: I don't know. I don't know. The cool people. Come on, answer the question, Susan. We don't have all day.

LI: But it wasn't a question.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: The question is, are -- is Disney in trouble? I mean, let's be honest. They're in trouble. They're having an identity crisis.

LI: Yes. So, when you try to offend nobody, that's right.

GUTFELD: Good point.

LI: That's right.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: Nobody comes along with you.

GUTFELD: Right.

LI: So you lose everybody when you try to offend nobody. But what's next? Are they going to cancel Jack Sparrow and Johnny Depp's as we watch that testimony today --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I think he's canceled himself, unfortunately.

LI: Well --

GUTFELD: Those are -- those are so -- those movies were so overrated.

LI: Pirates of the Caribbean.

GUTFELD: The ride is so much better than the movie.

LI: Well, I think those movies made about a billion dollars.

GUTFELD: Oh, is that all you see are the dollars signs?

LI: Yes. Well, in those cases -- I mean, definitely Disney is a multibillion dollar company.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I see quality. You know what? Enough.

BENSON: Are you tall enough to ride on the ride?

GUTFELD: No, you should see me on a teacup. And you will? All right. Because you're my saucer. I didn't even know what that means. Kat.

TIMPF: Yes. What's up?

GUTFELD: There's something -- I'm going to go back because Susan didn't answer the question. Let's be honest, Disney characters are freaky and weird and at times, not age appropriate. A pirate is not a good role model for children. Especially, you know what pirates do. Pirates do piratey things?

TIMPF: They sure do.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

TIMPF: But if, you know, if you break this down, and you just think about how ridiculous it is, that they're specifically worried about discrimination. They are saying OK. Captain Hook is a bad guy with no hand. So people are going to see Peter Pan and then they're going to, you know, all disabled people are not going to be able to get a job.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Because you can say, wait a minute, you're disabled. So, as Captain Hook you're a bad guy like Captain Hook? That is what they're saying.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

TIMPF: That has not and will not happen.

GUTFELD: That -- no, that never enters. I have hired thousands of one-arm people. I don't think that's provable. But I like it when people always say they've done thousands of things. Because it's like, that's impossible. I've done -- I prosecuted thousands of cases. It's like, really? No, Joe, you haven't.

DEVITO: No. No. I -- who's -- who would benefit from that if they had, oh, disabled pirates, so we're getting rid of that plank, we're putting in a ramp. It would be great for you guys.

GUTFELD: That's funny. That is right. If we had an audience they would be laughing.

DEVITO: I don't --- well, they talked about Disney Plus is discovering the head, problematic characters of Disney Plus which -- there's a lot of problematic characters at CNN Plus.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: I don't want to forget about that. But at least the Disney plus, you know, their checks are going to clear, their paychecks will be OK.

GUTFELD: That's true.

DEVITO: Peter Pan, traditionally played in live shows by a woman. How come no one's talking about that? It's played by Sandy Duncan who had one eye.

GUTFELD: That is true.

DEVITO: She had like a week then or something.

GUTFELD: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

DEVITO: Got her other eye. So --

(CROSSTALK)

DEVITO: That was ahead of their time. So, why not talk about that? Why not talk about that as --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: She was -- she was a trailblazer.

DEVITO: Yes.

GUTFELD: She was a -- she was -- she was the -- she played a guy. Nobody talks about Sandy Duncan.

DEVITO: This story has actually been weighing on me all day because I read the details. And I was very confused by some of them. And then you get to Tinkerbell I'm like what, honestly, is the problem with Tinkerbell? And apparently Tinkerbell is getting canceled by Disney because she has body image issues and is jealous of boy's attention. And that's what she really wants. And then it dawned on me that the official mascot of gay men is literally a fairy. And that is problematic.

GUTFELD: Yes. I had no idea. Is that real? Is that real? Is that like your mascot?

DEVITO: That's the joke. Because we're -- we have body issues and we -- we're jealous of men's attention.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, I was still thinking about --

DEVITO: Gene?

GUTFELD: Gene. I think -- I mean, I do think -- we've talked about, you know, Elon Musk buying up Twitter to make it better. Somebody needs -- it needs a total overhaul Disney. Like when you go there, I haven't been there in a while but -- I mean, like I was at Disney World maybe 10 years ago. It's old -- everything feels old except for the prices. The prices just are crazy town.

LI: Oh, skyrocketing.

GUTFELD: Yes. Everything's old there. It's like -- it's like, you know what it? It's like the Playboy Mansion for kids.

TIMPF: Hopefully not.

GUTFELD: But you know what I mean? You go to the Playboy Mansion. It was like --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: No, no.

GUTFELD: You show up, it's gross. Nobody cleans it. The Grotto is disgusting. You know and --

LI: People are in costume.

GUTFELD: People -- and then you go to Disneyland and it's kind of like the same era. Does that make sense?

LI: Yes.

GUTFELD: Thank you. All right. We're going to check on Gene. I feel like I'm doing breaking news. We're going to check on Gene on during the break (INAUDIBLE) up next. Liberal science deniers frown because masks were struck down.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Watch as lefties unravel, because you don't need a mask to travel. Now we're forced to fly with liberal grippers instead of useless face diapers. True. We can finally show our faces and it's enraging hysterical nutcases. Yes. Masks are coming off faster than Jesse Watters to pay at bedtime. I'll never get used to seeing that on my nightstand.

Yesterday, U.S. District Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle struck down Biden's mask mandate that required face coverings on planes, trains and buses. The Biden administration already plans on appealing the decision. You still have to wear them on the New York subway of course, but that's mostly to block this smell of urine.

Now that the mandate has been ruled unconstitutional, the TSA announced they'll no longer enforce masks at airports. No word on the constitutionality of airports charging 40 bucks for a tuna sandwich, am I right? And some in the media were not pleased and decided to take it out on the judge.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

LAWRENCE O'DONNELL, MSNBC HOST: If you think she was not qualified to be a judge, after at least graduated from law school, imagine how not qualified she is to make public health decisions about trying to control highly infectious deadly pandemics.

JEFFREY TOOBIN, CNN CHIEF LEGAL ANALYST: A judge who was appointed by Donald Trump in the last days of his presidency, found unqualified by the ABA, and she was 33 years old when she was confirmed. Many other judges have found that this mandate was, was legal. It is a crazy way to have a judicial system.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh, get a grip, Toobin, I mean that psychologically, but he can take it however. So, at the heart of their argument, she's from Florida, appointed by Trump and only 35. When he can't make a good legal argument they assassinate the character, but they can go after themselves. The masks are off, which means the next time I've duct taped to his seat, it'll be for fun. Kat, aren't you interested in the holdouts? Like why people are freaking out? So, they latched onto the mask of some kind of identity component it's become and I've said this before a human bumper sticker. Like it says, who you are, and you can't take it off? Yes.

TIMPF: Yes, I wonder how long they're going to go with it?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Because people are still certain to wear masks to be like, I'm one of the good ones.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But it sucks to wear a mask. Like, everybody knows that. So, I wonder how long that they'll keep it going. But also, I feel like if all of this stuff was true, there would have been some pushback rather than, oh, OK, she says no, we won't do it anymore.

GUTFELD: You know, Guy, it goes back to the thing where there always has to be two sides. So, it's like if they, if the left sees like a Fox News is heralding the -- then they go like, wait, they think the mask should be off? We should say that it's on, definitely say that it's on it. I feel like it's an arbitrary position to take.

BENSON: It's like tribal negative partisanship, for sure. And I think we might need a remedial discussion in this country about the difference between something not being required, and something being banned.

GUTFELD: Right.

BENSON: Because people are treating it like this judge just banned masks in America.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: And they're defiantly still wearing them and taking brave photos of themselves in their mask, like they're sticking it to this judge. No, the whole point is we can make decisions for ourselves based on our own risk profiles. And if they want to wear 17 masks for the rest of their lives -- that's weird, but like -- go for it. And I've seen the videos like on airplanes of people cheering and whooping and celebrating. I was on the ASELA coming up here last night when this came down, and the conductor got on mid train ride to announce that this was no longer required. And there was no cheering.

GUTFELD: No cheering.

BENSON: There was like tears over the many masks. Why are they doing this? Although, secretly people were sort of looking around off, kind of the masks for like a good number of people because it's silly and clock masks are pointless.

GUTFELD: I always wear a mask on a train.

BENSON: I would like to know what caused the laugh, like --

GUTFELD: I don't know. I don't know why. It just smells on trains. You know what I'm saying? Susan, here's the deal.

LI: But do you wear them on planes?

GUTFELD: No, because planes smell nice.

LI: With the HIPAA air.

GUTFELD: Yes, the HIPAA air, I love it. What about the class distinction that we, that masks seem to purvey? Is that the right word? Purvey? Is that even a word?

LI: It's a word.

GUTFELD: Convey.

LI: Yes, convey. Yes.

GUTFELD: Convey. Purvey is when you try to convince a cat. Purvey. Conveying a class distinction when you sit -- this is so weird. When you sit down to have something to eat at a restaurant, you're not wearing a mask and everybody serving you is wearing masks.

LI: Yes.

GUTFELD: I find that really bizarre because it lays naked, lays bare the class that distinction between the people who work for you.

LI: Right. The service provider.

GUTFELD: Yes, that bothers me.

LI: Pay for the services.

GUTFELD: That's got to stop. Don't you agree?

LI: Yes. So, you think we should be equal?

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: And communists and social?

GUTFELD: Oh, I am a communist.

LI: It's like, wow, this is very --

GUTFELD: I'm a free market anarcho capitalist.

LI: So, I'm hoping though, on airplanes and I'll be the first one to say it and you know, I'll take the backlash. But if someone's sick and coughing while I'm eating my prepared microwave meal in economy class, I think they should be wearing a mask. I mean, you know, it has some etiquette -- used a right fork to dinner, and put on a mask if you're sick.

BENSON: That's situational. That makes sense.

GUTFELD: Yes. We're not saying it should be banned, we're just saying you know you're a liberal.

LI: It should be by choice.

TIMPF: Plus, everybody, even if they have a mask on and they see they pull it down to sneeze.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

TIMPF: All the time. I've seen it so many times. They pull it down because you don't want to get boogers in your own mask.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Have you ever projectile vomited while wearing a mask? Oh, what a mistake that is. I just like, when we're in turbulence, I'm pulling that thing down, Joe, and I'm puking all over you.

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Fair enough.

GUTFELD: Yes. I totally been improvement.

DEVITO: I think they, they need to come up with a combination mask co-exist bumper sticker.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: And then you can, you can turn yourself into human Subaru and let everyone know where you stand on every issue.

GUTFELD: It's a fair analogy, because they're treating it like it's part of, it's an identity component.

DEVITO: Sure.

GUTFELD: Just like a bumper sticker, which tells you to visualize world peace. You know, if you went up and peeled it off, they will be pissed.

DEVITO: Yes, it's a flag. And like you said, no one's, no one's taking their masks away.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: You can wear as many masks as you want for as long as you want. It's so strange it -- do they think that it's never going to end? I mean, the 1918 pandemic ended and there was no vaccines back then.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: And it killed a lot of people, unfortunately, but there has to be point where we come out of this, but they don't want to let it go. Because they have this irrational feeling that like you said that if it, it seems Trump-ish on this side, well, then I'll wear 30 masks and I'll wrap my head and duct tape and that's what you want to do? Go right ahead, but other people are ready to get on with their lives. We've made it through. We're coming out the other side. Let people get back to normal lives.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's a good movie ending when it's a Trump appointed judge who makes the best political decision and that was like I don't know when they appointed the judge how long ago it was --

BENSON: 2020.

GUTFELD: 2020?

DEVITO: Just right on his way out.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's like, it's just a nice finger in the eye, but I'm nonpartisan. Coming up, a professor's got more in the bank, and he's got wokeness to thank.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: The cannon. We update on Jeanne Nelson. You know, Jeanne, he's the tall guy that comes in, in a lot of the skits. Who's the guy talking to Kat about her tattoos earlier in the show, still locked in an elevator. This is like, this is the biggest thing that's ever happened to the show.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: This is like huge. I don't know, you know, I don't know -- it's kind of like, you've noticed I've just lost my train of thought because I'm just worried about that tall drink of milk. All right, use this pronoun they demand and he walked away with 400-grand. Shawnee State University in Ohio -- is that real? Agreed to pay $400,000 settlement to a Christian professor, they had punished for refusing to use a trans student he or she pronouns. Now, the school's pronoun is loser. But 400 grand that's almost a full student loan payment.

Nick Merriweather, a Philosophy Professor at the School for 25 years, said the pronouns violated his religious belief that gender is determined at conception, much different from the school's belief, which is that gender is determined by watching tick tock videos. The school responded to Merriweather by filing a formal warning which is like a regular warning, but wearing a tuxedo. Merriweather then sued claiming he could not discuss gender issues in class for fear of being suspended or fired, and it would make it hard for him to get another job elsewhere.

Sadly, colleges aren't the only ones, are the only ones that hire philosophers. Well, that and Uber. Anyway, the sixth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled unanimously that the school violated Merewether its rights to freedom of speech and religion and reached the settlement last week. So, I guess the Constitution isn't just sexist and racist. It's also transphobic. But what more can you expect from a bunch of white males besides excellence?

ANNOUNCER: "A RACIST WOULD SAY."

GUTFELD: That is right. A racist would say that and it's disgusting. Speaking of disgusting, Kat, you surprised the court ruled the Constitution took precedence over the gender identity policy? Is that a good deal for you? I think it's right up your alley, Libertarian Lady.

TIMPF: Yes. It's better than disgusting, I guess. I was actually kind of surprised by it. Because the gender identity policies, you really don't want to run a follow those these days.

GUTFELD: No, you don't.

TIMPF: But a lot of the arguments against this, people saying you know, he really should refer to the student by the pronouns the student wants to use, which is something I would do, but it's also irrelevant.

GUTFELD: Right?

TIMPF: Because it doesn't matter. It's the Constitution says what it says about free speech. So, it's not a relevant argument in terms of this situation.

GUTFELD: That's the thing. We're not talking about whether you're being rude, impolite, or not gracious, because I'll say whatever you want me to say. It's the victory in the sense that you cannot be compelled to say something. I understand like fire. It's shouting fire in a theater. We get it. But this is like saying you can't you, you have to shout fire. It doesn't make sense.

DEVITO: Yes. That's how I usually opened my standup sets just to see who's serious --

TIMPF: I want to workshop that.

DEVITO: Right up. Yes, this will -- this goes back to 2016, Jordan Peterson, said, you can't compel speech. It's not enough to say you can't say something. You can't require somebody to say something. But I've changed my mind on this. I'm, I'm in favor of (INAUDIBLE) in kind of stuff.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: Because those are made up words that nobody has any attachment to. So if your issue is that you don't think someone is the gender that they're asking you to refer them as through their pronouns. Let's just create a whole new category of whatever these words are, because we're saying that words don't mean what they used to do.

GUTFELD: Right.

DEVITO: I would disagree with him, that he's saying gender starts at conception. I think biological sex starts at conception, but isn't gender, the societal expression of your biological sex? So, I think maybe I would disagree with him that saying her she whatever the combination was there. That is no more than and then nickname at this point yes someone saying I want to be called Richard I want to be called Ricky. So, I think it's very odd that he was able to win that?

GUTFELD: What do you think, Guy? And your name is Guy, so I'm going to call you and say he --

BENSON: That's my preferred pronoun as well. Yes, he him. Look, this story I agree with Kat, I feel like Do unto others golden rule, right? Treat people with respect and dignity, he made a different decision. The compulsion here is what got the school in trouble. And it reminds me of another case also at another university in Ohio, Oberlin where there was a big lawsuit with a local vape shop yet which the school fomented a huge racial hoax and participated in it, and the local business sued and they won $30 million.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: And I'm not a litigious person. I don't like that we're going that direction as this as a society. But if one of the ways to beat woke-sters is to make institutions literally pay,

GUTFELD: Right.

BENSON: For groveling before these people that might need to be part of the cost of doing business here. Because that's something that college administrators might actually understand.

GUTFELD: But once you, you, the victim is able to make money off being cancelled or fired. It's over, right? It's like now that you --

BENSON: I don't at least think twice.

GUTFELD: Yes, they'll think twice. It used to be like, there was no consequences if I, if I cancelled you, Susan, you'd be gone and nothing would happen to me. But what if you sued and I lose? Then I shut up?

LI: OK.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know what I'm saying?

LI: But also, as a tech geek, if I'm non-binary, why can I be called 01100? Sorry -- It's a total nerd joke, but I love it.

GUTFELD: Yes. You're not a zero, though, not in our eyes.

LI: But no, but also, you know, for I'm paying $40,000 a year to go to college and I'd be getting an education instead of engaging in these petty pronoun debates.

GUTFELD: Yes, well, pronouns are another kind of virtue signal. It's just something that takes up time. You know, get away from serious concerns like me and Jeanne, who's still stuck up in an elevator. I can't believe this. This is, this is going to be one of our classic episodes. Because this will be known in the vernacular as the as the elevator episode.

LI: Is there a live feed? Can we call them --

GUTFELD: I'll call them. I'll call them during the brake. Up next, women are women right to make men confirm their height. That's next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: "A Story in Five Words. We're not really short on time. But here's the story in five words, short men lie about height apparently this lady that's not the story. You know, I'm going to call Jean. Let's see if I can -- let's find out where he is. Put that on speaker. It's not going to work? Let's see. Come on, ring.

DEVITO: Is this going to use up his oxygen?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You've reached Jeanne Nelson. Please press 1. For ticket sales, please press 2. For contact information, press three. For all other inquiries, please leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks for calling and be safe out there.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Press one, if you still want to -- this person. Bye!

GUTFELD: Anyway, I don't know how to use the phone. So, this TikTok user started an online debate. She marked six feet on a doorframe. To fact check guys to see how tall they really are when they walk through, because she believes that people that aren't that tall tend to lie. Do you lie, Joe? You, you and I are roughly the same height.

DEVITO: I have never lied about -- I've lied about my, my age, my income and my, my citizenship status but I've never lied about height. Here's my concern, she's marking this on her doorway for guys she hasn't met.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: So, she's just having them come to the house? She's -- I hope she enjoys these nice tall serial killers that she's inviting over.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. It's like, a guy comes in with a machete and she goes, no, you're not 5'11".

BENSON: Her last words are like you're 5'10".

DEVITO: This is a big thing -- this is the number one thing women look for in the dating market is height. And I, as a shorter guy, have never been intimidated if you can see the size of some of the women I have thrown myself at. I show up for the date. I got flowers, and I got a Sherpa and I'm ready to make the climb.

GUTFELD: That's beautiful. Kat, do you look at height? Do you see height?

TIMPF: Yes, sure, I see it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Yes, everybody sees it. You lie though.

GUTFELD: No, I don't.

TIMPF: You say you're 5'5", you are not 5'5". We're the same height and I am not 5'5". So, I don't need to write anything on my door.

GUTFELD: I don't -- that's silly.

BENSON: How tall are you, Kat?

TIMPF: I'm about 5'4", 5'3.5".

GUTFELD: I am not 5'3.5" -- I'm maybe 5'4" and four-fifths. That's what it says on my birth.

TIMPF: It's OK, but you're not.

GUTFELD: You know what, you're fired.

DEVITO: Guys is like Andre, the giant, on this panel.

BENSON: I'm six feet tall, and I'm like, wow!

GUTFELD: You are -- you're kind of a you're a tall drink of water, you know?

BENSON: It's -- I was --

GUTFELD: Do you lie? Do you still lie? Do you need to lie?

BENSON: No, because I was always like when I was 5'10"-5'11" as a kid, I was like please get me just one more, one more inch to six foot and then I think that and that's when I stopped.

GUTFELD: Did not help your career though, you should be more successful. You see me. I mean, I mean, look at it this way, I am -- consider everybody are lucky that I'm not tall because I'm already successful.

BENSON: You have, you have four shows.

GUTFELD: Yes, I have four shows. If I were tall, the whole world would be mine. I had to be in a tight, tight container stocked --

BENSON: For our safety.

GUTFELD: For everybody's safety. Men, women animals, they'd all be like, how do I survive with this amazing creature? I'm like that big blue guy in the watchman. Susan --

LI: Overwhelming.

GUTFELD: Overwhelming, yes. Do you, do you look at height as any kind of criteria?

LI: So, if you can't eyeball a guy's height, I mean, what are you looking at?

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

LI: Yes, you need to measure? I don't get that. But you know, that's what - - height isn't the only thing that people lie about on the first date, right? Their age. 10 pounds ago -- because they usually post pictures.

GUTFELD: I haven't been on a date in ages.

LI: They don't look nothing like on the first date.

GUTFELD: I wouldn't know what to lie about. I just go Google me, I'll be over here.

LI: You have more hair.

GUTFELD: I look great. How dare you, Susan. Oh, that wasn't directed to me.

LI: You look great.

GUTFELD: You know he's got a lot of hair. Kat.

LI: Kat.

GUTFELD: See that --

TIMPF: Especially on my belly, yes --

GUTFELD: Her belly was just, that was a fur-belly.

BENSON: Full circle.

GUTFELD: You're like a furby.

TIMPF: Furbelly. That's it -- yes, that's what they call me.

DEVITO: Greg, Greg, you know, who's tall?

GUTFELD: Who?

LI: Jeanne.

DEVITO: Jeanne, and look where he is.

GUTFELD: Ironic that he's stuck in an elevator. He didn't have to wear elevator shoes growing up, did he? But he's stuck in an elevator. Thank, God. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We're out of time. Thanks to Guy Benson, Susan Li, Joe DeVito, Kat Timpf. Where's Jeanne? "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. She's not stuck in an elevator. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you America.

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