This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," July 28, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Great Recession. The President asked me to be in charge of managing that piece then President Trump, excuse me, Freudian slip. That was the last president. He calls anyway, that was -- President Obama when I was vice president.

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LAURA INGRAHAM, FOX NEWS HOST: Anyway, "GUTFELD!" next.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. LAUREN BOEBERT (R-CO): You know why the American people like Congress less than cockroaches, root canals and nickelback? Because of political garbage like this.

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GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: How dare you insult roaches like that? Also, what are you doing later?

I'm just talking with the producers. Having a good time. Oh, man. Here we go. What a show. Welcome to the world of us versus them where a profit- seeking media creates new targets to replace old ones. The goal is to pit two camps against each other as they back one and demonize another. So, it's like the Yankees versus the Red Sox, Ali versus Frazier, Brian Stelter versus footlong hoagie.

The media has done this to the religious, to Republicans, to Trump supporters, the flyover country often pitting their elite activist class above these groups, where they happily punched down like a street thug wailing on an 80-year-old Asian woman. And now they have a new villain. It's when they've demonized knowing it does more harm than no good but it's how they afford the alimony, Geraldo.

Yes. The lab created battle in the media octagon is now the vaxxed versus the unvaxxed. Yes, sex and gender can't be binary but the vaccine debate sure can. And this artificial construction. It's the sub intellect rubes who aren't getting vast and the highly intelligent over educated coastal elites who are. But the facts like a hollow point bullet hitting a pumpkin blow holes in their skeevy narrative.

So who's not vaxxed? Turns out roughly half the employees at key city public safety agencies in New York. And those aren't Fox viewers. Ms. Behar. Add that to the 50,000 illegal immigrants released into the U.S. but I guess they don't count right because they didn't vote for Trump. The U.S. versus them or the us versus them narrative falls apart even more. When you really look at who's not being vaxxed then they suddenly become Republicans, Democrats, blacks, whites, the poor, the young and the middle class. A group as diverse as Geraldo is ex-wives.

And the bi -- and the bifurcation that CNN pushes disappears, much like their audience. And oddly, The New York Times nails it by splitting Americas into -- Americans into five vaccine groups. The enthusiasts, the watchful, the cost anxious, the system to stressors and the skeptics. So when you hear of a system the stressor, you think that has to be a Trumper. Nope. system does stressors think the healthcare system doesn't treat them fairly.

According to the Times, most but not all, are people of color and they live in D.C., Maryland in Georgia. So unless you're a figment of Jesse Smollett's imagination. I don't think anyone there runs around screaming MAGA country. Then there's the watchful, these are the wait and see types who check out what friends experience with the vax before getting it. Now if only they spied on their friends for white supremacist tendencies, the FBI would love them.

But I get an understand the watchful. It's like me at a party waiting to see if everyone trying Kat's special brownies calls 911. Before I try it myself. So you know where these people live? They dominate in Delaware. Home to our basement-dwelling president who recently accused skeptics of killing people before walking it back. Hope there were no stairs involved. They also live in Rhode Island in Hawaii, not republican holdouts. But islands, we went to a Castaway for comment.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes. Look what I had created. I have made fire. I have made fire.

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GUTFELD: Yes, that is a movie clip, a homage to Jesse Watters, who's also here tonight. Congrats on the book, it's going to buy you a lot of hair gel. But despite the diversity of the hesitant the name calling persists.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DON LEMON, CNN ANCHOR: And all these people were saying, I don't want to put this stuff in my body. They're out drinking on the weekend and putting other substances in their bodies. That's way worse for them than a vaccine. So come on, let's be real.

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ANCHOR: Because if your answer is just then, well, I don't care what they say. This is me. I'm an American. That is being dumb as a proxy for being bold.

If you're unvaccinated and you're going around without being tested, you are an arrogant, selfish --

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you have proof of that?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You think I was going to leave that out, Geraldo? The .60 percent of American adults have received their first shot, but it has nothing to do with us versus them. It's just that America is made up of individuals who have different reasons for different decisions. But the news prefers groups over individuals in order to create a conflict narrative that helps pay the bills. If Stelter doesn't sell the news, like it's a pro wrestling match, there's no way he could afford pie every night.

Which brings us to the COVID skeptics. Why are they skeptical? Well, they believe in alternative theories, and some of them like Anthony Weiner's selfie are mostly just nuts. But others are just anti-government. Thank you. Geraldo just got that. But it's more -- it really is more about the media than anything because who is pushing the vaccine hardest? It's the same people who push collusion and obstruction, the fine people hoax.

The myriad of phony scandals that were debunked the next day. They said the world was going to end in eight years. Remember that? These people are more full of crap than a septic tank the day after a Kardashian Thanksgiving. The media also ignored the riots in the destruction of last summer, preferring to chase the fantasies of white supremacy. As COVID exploded in China they focused on impeachment.

Yet these same people called you racist for questioning COVID origins smearing millions of Americans who realize there's something fishy, as opposed to batty about gain of function, instead of looking at crime and safety the Press obsessed over identity politics with the same fervor John Hinckley did Jodie Foster. And that distorted reality big time. For example, the number of unarmed black men killed by police, according to The Washington Post was between 12 and 27.

Yet nearly half a very liberal Americans think it's between 1000 and 1000. So where did they get that perception from the same dishonest rage machine that brands Americans' murderers for fearing a jab? So maybe before you crap all over Americans and place them in this us versus them prison, examine the role you play in creating this polarity? You'll find that it has nothing to do with health and everything to do with looking for a fight.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. Still waters run deep, which is why this waters won't stop talking. "THE FIVE" co-host and Watters World Host Jesse Watter. You'll see him on Fox News but also on Twitter without a shirt. The legendary Fox News Correspondent (INAUDIBLE) Geraldo Rivera.

GERALDO RIVERA, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: Yes. Yes, man. Yes, man.

GUTFELD: You may recognize him from wearing your dead relatives donated shirts. The loftusparty.com Editor in Chief, Michael Loftus. And as a child kidnappers considered her a loss leader, Fox News Contributor, Kat Timpf. All right, Geraldo. Since I jabbed you a couple of times.

RIVERA: You did.

GUTFELD: You can jab me back, but no name calling.

RIVERA: Can I say --

GUTFELD: You get my point? You get my point about the name calling?

RIVERA: I do. But I have to first add that you have never heard one of my ex-wives say anything negative about me, which is extraordinary --

GUTFELD: Because you've killed them.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: -- five times. Because they -- I took care of everybody. And that's the kind of guy I am. I want to take care of America. I want everyone to get vaccinated. I think it's very important. And if you do with comedy, that's OK with me as long as they get the damn back.

JESSE WATTER, FOX NEWS HOST: So treat Americans like Geraldo's ex wives.

RIVERA: Yes.

WATTER: Take care of them.

GUTFELD: You know what, it's funny. The numbers are very similar.

RIVERA: A lot of people have told me they want to be my next ex-wife.

GUTFELD: You know what, given the alimony I would be your ex-wife.

RIVERA: There you go.

GUTFELD: You don't even have to --

RIVERA: My point -- you make my point.

GUTFELD: You don't even have to sleep with me. We'll just get to like maybe third base. That's it.

RIVERA: But you'd be missing the best part.

MICHAEL LOFTUS, EDITOR IN CHIEF, LOFTUSPARTY.COM: The jab.

GUTFELD: They call it the jab. You don't get this kind of --

(CROSSTALK)

LOFTUS: You need to get the vax.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: It's also not FDA-approved.

GUTFELD: My God. So anyway, this isn't The Five, Jesse. So what is your -- what do you say -- I mean, from your opinion.

WATTER: Yes.

GUTFELD: Where do you stand in this? I am very easy going about the pro- vax, the anti -- I'm just like, do whatever you want. I can protect myself.

WATTER: If I were president. Here is my plan for vaccines. Don't you want to know how I became president? Fraud? Massive amounts of fraud. So, first, I would close the southern border.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTER: Sorry, Geraldo. The Delta is coming across from the south. Then bribery --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: -- is associated with the south?

WATTER: Bribery. I would -- I would give people $100 gift cards to get a jab, all right?

GUTFELD: That's what de Blasio is doing.

WATTER: Right? Because most of the people that haven't been vaccinated are uninsured, aka they don't have a lot of money. Then the next group of people that aren't really vaccinated that much, white evangelical Christian, Republican, rural Americans. And Greg, I don't think I'm going to be able to convince them. That's OK. They live in the rural areas. It doesn't really spread that much. It comes out in the cities.

So who lives in the cities? 20 year olds and 30 year olds, you go back to bribery. If you are making 26k and you're 30, $100 you can buy a lot of weed with that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTER: So you give him that --

(CROSSTALK)

WATTER: Right. And then I would do that for a couple months, and then I'd quit. I -- my pollster is telling me that quitting is very underrated in politics.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTER: I would stop pushing people and then I would pivot to something else.

GUTFELD: That's not a bad strategy, Michael. I'm assuming underneath that dreadful jacket you did get a vaccine.

LOFTUS: I --

GUTFELD: Did the homeless shelter have free vaccines for you?

LOFTUS: They are giving them away.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: They were giving them away. I got -- I got right out of the donate blood line. It's vaccine line. And then I got the free jacket line. So it was wonderful. Here's what they need to stop doing. See, I'm completely on the other side of this. I stopped trying to sell this vaccine like a used car. That's what makes people think that they it's like snake oil salesmen. It's like hey, you want a free donut? Get the jab.

Want a free cheeseburger? Get the jab. Here's $100 gift card to Target. Get the jab. Like why are you selling this? Here's an idea. Act like you're running out. Act like --

WATTER: Oh, it's a good idea.

LOFTUS: We've only got like 20 doses left. Somebody's going to die. So -- and for the love of god close the border.

WATTER: Yes.

LOFTUS: Close the border. How can you expect people --

GUTFELD: They close Canada. They shut down Canada.

LOFTUS: Right. It's like you're in a house and they're like, all right, somebody in his house has cooties. We're going to let a bunch more people in just to keep it confusing. It's crazy. Or just, you know, maybe we should just have the border guys with like, blow guns with the Jets.

GUTFELD: Jets.

LOFTUS: Right? As they -- as they hop over -- as they hop over the wall. You know, just tagging --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: That's a great idea.

WATTER: I like that.

GUTFELD: A blow -- a blow gun vaccine.

LOFTUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: You're full of ideas. And probably heroin. Given that wardrobe. I don't know what cooties are. I always wondered. Kat, what are cooties?

TIMPF: Well, there's many kinds of cooties. But look with the vaccine --

RIVERA: Have you dated any?

TIMPF: Oh, almost exclusively for my husband. It was -- I was attracted to it. You know, I was, you know, because if I could look at myself and be like, well, I'm not that and then judge myself on that scale. It was nice. I got the vaccine.

LOFTUS: Yes.

TIMPF: And I like to say hey, I got the vaccine and not say other people are bad because they didn't but just say hey, look, I did and I'm not someone who like trust the government. OK? But it's also, you know, it's not FDA-approved, almost nothing that I do is --

GUTFELD: Right. That's true.

TIMPF: I'm not that concerned. Which by the way kind of a fun way to live.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

TIMPF: Really under a perfect health is really overrated.

GUTFELD: The stuff you put into your body --

TIMPF: Unbelievable.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: They said vaccine look like -- I don't know, touched by an angel.

TIMPF: Unbelievable and I am still breathing and walking around.

GUTFELD: Just barely I made that.

TIMPF: Wasn't even last week but this week --

RIVERA: Maybe they should spike it, maybe that's a good idea.

GUTFELD: Put it in the water, Geraldo.

RIVERA: No. Put something fun in there with the vaccine, you know.

GUTFELD: Kind of like --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: Oh, hey baby. I'm fine. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling vaccinated.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTER: And that's why you have five ex-wives.

LOFTUS: Four.

RIVERA: Four. Yes. I've been married 20 years by the way.

WATTER: Good for you.

GUTFELD: You were just thinking ahead.

RIVERA: No.

LOFTUS: That's terrible.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTER: Didn't we have the idea you're also -- if you're going to get Botox, how about do Botox shots with the vax shot, right?

GUTFELD: Free Botox. A lot of people would do that. I know.

LOFTUS: Get the vaccine right in your forehead.

GUTFELD: A lot of people here would.

TIMPF: I've gotten both.

GUTFELD: Yes. There you go.

TIMPF: Not at the same time, couldn't find the doctor. The worst thing to do is saying if you're vaccinated, your life hasn't change, you have to wear a mask anyway, like that's the worst thing.

RIVERA: I agree with that.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right. We've got a lot more to come. Up next, liberal media runs roughshod, but bias as it exists as Chuck Todd.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Is the media a liberal fraud? Not according to Chuck Todd? Yes. The liberal media creates the cultural divide. But when they get called out they run and hide. In a new interview, NBC's Chuck Todd seen here says there's no such thing as liberal media bias. But that's like O.J. Simpson saying there's no such thing as murder. But you know what I bet this sort of thing happened to mainstream media in particular.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CHUCK TODD, MSNBC HOST: This sort of happened to mainstream media in particular is that we did let Republican critics get in our heads. The Republicans have been running on, there's a liberal bias in the media. And if you talk about if you say something long enough, there are liberals who say there's a liberal bias in the media. When you see polling now. We should have fought back better in the mainstream media. We shouldn't accepted the premise that there was liberal bias.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: The amazing thing is you don't even have to look that far to see how wrong he is. This week, the New York Times Justice Department reporter, not an op-ed writer tweeted that Trump supporters should be considered enemies of the state. Katie Benner later deleted that in other tweets about the January 6th committee hearing saying they were unclearly worded. Oh, they were clear all right, clearly a load of crap.

According to the Center for Public Integrity, 96 percent of money given by journalists in 20 May 16 went to Clinton. And in the most recent study available on political affiliations of journalists, the percentage of full time U.S. journalists who claim to be Republican is 7.1 percent. But yes, there's definitely no liberal bias, Chuck. Wouldn't be the first thing he's gotten wrong?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TODD: Let me ask you this. Do you think that part of the President is afraid to make Putin mad because maybe Putin did help him win the election and he doesn't want to make a mad for 2020?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Hmm. If Chuck got anything more wrong, he'd be Joy Reid. And how do we know they aren't the same person, Jesse? You know, we did this story earlier on The Five tried to say something more meaningful this time around. I don't remember anything you said.

WATTER: Well, Chuck Todd saying there's no media bias is like Geraldo saying he doesn't believe in divorces.

RIVERA: How does my marital history become the star in the show?

TIMPF: Because you brought it up.

GUTFELD: No. I started it, right? I said --

RIVERA: You did.

WATTER: That would be like you saying animals are not great. That would be like me saying I didn't save the world. But he does have some gumption to say there's no liberal media bias, but it's just like Joe Biden did the same thing. He said, no, the border, there is no crisis and Republicans defunded the police.

GUTFELD: Right. That was beautiful.

WATTER: Right? So if you don't accept the problem, you just deny there's a problem.

GUTFELD: That -- I have to say that is serious balls, Loftus, like continually --

LOFTUS: (INAUDIBLE) Geraldo.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RIVERA: Entiendo, entiendo, gracias.

GUTFELD: You know, well, that was just getting sold your clothes again. Now. I lost my train of thought.

LOFTUS: Sorry.

GUTFELD: Chuck, it appears to be the last holdout here, right? Because everybody's admitting that -- you all the lefts are admitting bias but him.

LOFTUS: Chuck's going on offense and why not like as long as you're going to get it wrong. As long as you're going to live in this fake reality. You might as well be the poster girl for, you know, fake news. Just go for it. There is no media bias. We're still looking into the Trump-Russia collusion thing. There's no crisis at the border. I'm not peeing on you. It's raining.

(CROSSTALK)

LOFTUS: And by all means, get the vax, it's great. Yes. that's the problem in the nutshell. When you can't -- we're living in two completely different realities.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: And the liberal one must be nice. I feel like once you see the liberal bias, it's like being in the matrix, right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: And now you're on that ship floating around. And now I'm like that guy like, I want to go back.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: I want to go back. I want to live in that fairy land where they all live where, oh, it is real news. And everything's wonderful. And the biggest problem is we don't hold hands and hug enough.

GUTFELD: I love the people that have broken that spell because they're no - - they're not -- they're not necessarily conservatives or libertarians. They're just like, disillusioned liberals. And those are interesting people now, you know, they're now just starting podcasts, Kat. So.

TIMPF: Hey.

GUTFELD: Do you live in a bubble?

TIMPF: No, I like to expose myself to a lot of things. The more dopamine the better.

RIVERA: Well, it's late night. You could --

TIMPF: Yes, well, you want you want details? I mean, I share too much, truly. But I love when she deleted the tweet. And she said I deleted the tweet for unclear wording.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: It's the exact same thing as, you know, we were talking about yesterday with (INAUDIBLE) starts the conversation. It's like you know what, no, you -- it -- because you sounded insane and you're making everything worse and you know that. I'm so sick of everyone's mouth just being a (BLEEP) factory all the time. I'm so sick of it. It makes everything worse. And we can't talk about anything, even when it's so clearly something so messed up.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's because they know no one's going to call them out on her. Geraldo, you and I have been in this ragged for -- I don't know, 30 years. I remember when you were coming up, and I was saying that kid's -- that kid's got potential. But I was --

RIVERA: Fifty-one years already.

GUTFELD: Yes, so for me like 30. I was always the odd man out, always the odd man out. And -- but I was never a threat to anybody.

RIVERA: But the that disarming aspect of you is your -- is your most potent weapon because you are very crafty.

GUTFELD: Yes, I am.

RIVERA: And you are an excellent writer, and you pretend to casualness that you don't really -- you don't really have. But I just wanted to say one thing about, you mentioned Russia collusion and that and (BLEEP) But I think that Hunter Biden computer is the most glaring example. If that was Donald Trump, Jr.'s computer, we would still be hearing about it on a daily basis and the New York Times will be doing think pieces about it and op-eds about it and analysts and they'll have a computer guy and talk about, you know, check the dates and was he, you know, getting paid by China, the flying Air Force II you know --

GUTFELD: There's so much laptop.

RIVERA: So much forensically.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RIVERA: And yet, aside from the New York Post, it is.

GUTFELD: It could be maybe the media was scared of literally touching the laptop.

TIMPF: Yes. The -- yes.

GUTFELD: Maybe if they scotch guarded the laptop the media would have tackled it.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: It's worse than Anthony Weiner's laptop.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

RIVERA: But I was just thinking, imagine the porn those guys have.

GUTFELD: Oh, geez.

RIVERA: I mean, can you imagine --

GUTFELD: Hunter made his own. He's in his own porn.

TIMPF: That's very environmentally conscious.

GUTFELD: Well, no. It's cheap. He just didn't want to subscribe.

RIVERA: But they did get a vaccine now.

GUTFELD: Yes. Sure he had a few shots of some things. All right. Up next. Mayor say cops need a boost, but only after crime comes home to boost.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: That is terrible music. All right. Looks like the Summer of Love just got a nasty show. Yet bad mayors are yelling help police to clean up the mess they in least. After a blood-soaked weekend in Seattle where five people were shot dead and nine others injured. Democratic Mayor Jenny Durkin had an epiphany and call for more police. Yes, who knew when they said it's always raining in Seattle they met raining bullets. Maybe cutting police funding was a mistake.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JENNY DURKAN (D), SEATTLE MAYOR: Losing these number of officers when city leaders talk about cutting a department by 50 percent you will lose employees. Families need security, workers even police officers need working conditions that support them.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: (BLEEP) it's your dumb policies that hit the Emerald City like a kick in the jewels. This is from a woman who months once declared the violent unrest merely a Summer of Love.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DURKAN: We've got four blocks in Seattle that you just saw pictures of that is more like a block party atmosphere.

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN HOST: How long do you think Seattle and those few blocks looks like this?

DURKAN: I don't know we could have a Summer of Love.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: More like blockhead party. That didn't work out that well. And it's not just Seattle, leaders in Austin are trying to correct their defund-the-cops-dilemma by boosting their budget by 10 million bucks; money that would pay for new cadet classes. Austin needs more cops. They're down to 150, while murders are up 96 percent. Maybe they should host a new event called South by South Death.

Meanwhile, in Calabasas, California, I love that name. Two cosmetics Crazed Cook Crux looted an ultra-beauty. I don't know what that is. Loading up on pricey perfumes. It's a documented fact, one out of four criminals prefer the scent of lavender and lilies. And it was Elizabeth Taylor, who once said the beauty of fragrance is that it speaks to your heart and hopefully someone else's. As long as it's not Geraldo. I can't believe she said that. All right, Michael, block parties, Summer of Love. What went wrong?

MICHAEL LOFTUS, COMEDIAN: Everything went wrong. Everyone in America saw this coming.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: This is like the most, I hate to say it, I mean, the people got hurt, there's loss of life. But everybody -- everyone saw this coming.

GERALDO RIVERA, FOX NEWS CHANNEL POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: Blame it on the border, blame it on the border.

LOFTUS: OK. Sure will. Well, that was a very racist thing for you to say. But you never know what's striking down. We all saw it coming. So now they have to rehire all the cops. We got to shore it up, and it's all horrible. And like, and even crime is suffering like the girls who ripped off the Ulta Beauty place. You're supposed to have a thrill we commit a crime. Now that you can just walk in and empty this shelf, that's kind of boring. You know.

GUTFELD: Where's the excitement?

LOFTUS: I want to I want to get that rushed like, oh, I got a free candy bar. They're never going to catch me.

RIVERA: If I had that store. I would put Baba at the front door. Baba. Baba be standing there. And someone to come walk in and they want to clean out my shelves. You clean out their bag when they come. You turn it upside down. You kick them in the ass, and that's it.

GUTFELD: Well, who's Baba?

RIVERA: Baba, you pick your Baba. Nobody picks your Baba. I have plenty of Babas in my life.

GUTFELD: I got a few Babas. I had them removed by a dermatologist.

RIVERA: And also. I was in Summer of Love. I'm the only person still on television that actually was alive for the Summer of Love. And what happened in Seattle was no Summer of Love.

GUTFELD: No, it wasn't. It's the opposite. It's more like the Summer of Eight, Kat.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I saw a sort of Summer of Love thing on the street this morning. I walking the dog. It was 9:00 am and I was taking Carl back from pooping outside. Carl again is a dog. And I'm walking back 9:00 and this guy is shooting up heroin, and the girl that's with him is screaming violently, I guess, because he went first, which was not very chivalrous, I will say that. But you know, you see that at nine o'clock in a pretty nice area in the morning. You know, in the middle of the week. Can you see you know what? I don't think it should be like this.

GUTFELD: Yes. And there's no honor among junkies, anymore.

TIMPF: No, I was going to.

GUTFELD: Also, no honor among muggers.

TIMPF: What a horribly sexist junky.

RIVERA: Maybe they were getting vaccines.

TIMPF: That's your woman.

GUTFELD: But you know what, even muggers now. They're beating up old ladies. That would never happen. They would generally --

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: There used to be a code in the street. That's how it was when I grew up, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

WATTERS: In streets of Philadelphia. I wrote a joke for this.

GUTFELD: OK, please --

WATTERS: About these Democrat politicians, would you like to hear it?

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERs: Democrats are like women. They can't admit they were wrong and blame you for their mistakes. I wrote another joke in case Kat didn't like that joke.

GUTFELD: That is not --

TIMPF: I was more offended by the delivery.

WATTERS: Here's my other one. Democrats are like men. They can't admit they're lost and refuse to ask for directions. Better?

TIMPF: The delivery, it's in the delivery.

WATTERS: I'm not a stand-up comedian like you are.

TIMPF: Oh, that's true.

WATTERS: Not too saucy, I have to say.

GUTFELD: Does anybody have any solutions? I like to ask that.

TIMPF: Well, that Seattle Mayor, she said we cannot show cut without a plan. It's like, yes, yes, but you're the one who did that. That's what you did. There was no plan.

RIVERA: I have a serious suggestion. The problem is we need more black and white brown cops. And the way to get with -- the problem is with the black kids, particularly, they graduate high school or they finished high school, 18 years old, then you got to get them to 21 where they can become cops. We need some kind of program to bridge 18 to 21.

GUTFELD: And it's not a school. School pollutes them.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: But Community Colleges are part of that.

GUTFELD: I think you have to start younger with everybody. I think that right now the cause of systemic racism is school.

WATTERS: Start younger with everybody?

GUTFELD: Start younger with everybody and I'm not even sure what I mean. Start younger. Go to the gym.

LOFTUS: I think, I think you need to parent households. You need to stay in high school, get your diploma and I think you need to prosecute crime.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's -- put them in jail and keep them in jail. That's all I say criminals.

LOFTUS: You got to have some time to think about what you've done.

GUTFELD: Violent criminals and people who steal a lot (BLEEP) got to go to jail. OK, coming up. A school board's obsession with white versus black is forcing parents to really push back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Our parents reclaiming their schools from leftist tools. Finally, some good news from the poop assembly line that is San Francisco. A coalition of concerned parents is nearing the number of signatures required to recall three members of their inept far-left school board. If successful, this initiative would join a recall of California Governor Gavin Newsom, and possibly San Francisco D.A. Chesa Boudin. I haven't seen this many recalls since I saw sold those edible lawn darts.

Parents cite three main objections, the board members lowering of admission standards, poor management of the COVID crisis, and an obsession with dividing the community by race and victim status. The board also decided to focus on renaming schools instead of reopening them. And like all bad left the idea, its hit minority and low income families the hardest. 69 percent of the parents backed the recall with particular support from Asian Americans, especially after school board Commissioner Alison Collins tweeted racist remarks about the Asian community, then had the nerve to sue the district for violating her First Amendment rights.

So, here's some free speech for the comm-ish and her fellow recallees, you suck. Your arrogance and incompetence or hurting kids and parents aren't going to take it anymore. But it's like my dad once said, we never know the love of a parent until we become parents ourselves. I still remember him saying that as we left him in the woods. I had a little correction, I said that the Austin was down 250 cops it was actually down 150 cops. I regret the air. But you know what, we're drunk.

TIMPF: It starting a conversation. It started a conversation. It's, it's let's start a conversation with you.

GUTFELD: This is encouraging. The parents are now forced to get involved.

TIMPF: I think, it's amazing. I think it's awesome especially because not only were they really just really figuring out how to call a lot of stuff racist. I mean, yes, they took a look. But they took all their time. They're spending no time trying to figure out how to get the kids in the schools.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Which I think should be the most important thing to them if they're school board members, to figure out how to have school.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: Apparently, not.

GUTFELD: That would help.

TIMPF: It would help.

GUTFELD: Geraldo, is this going to become a nationwide thing, should it become? The students? I mean, the teachers?

RIVERA: First of all, you have to cop to the fact that parents could be really annoying at school board meetings. I mean, those parents --

GUTFELD: That'll work on their behalf.

RIVERA: They obsess about stuff. And they, they, they, you know, it's their big moment to shine at these meetings and so forth. I worry about the absolute progressive bent of all the educators virtually, just like all of the journalists. Those are the two professions that have skewed so far left, that it is very, very disheartening to see that, you know, that -- what gets me. Remember the shot of the white kid getting to her knees to apologize to the black kid for slavery? I mean, yes, what kind of --

GUTFELD: Yes.

RIVERA: Is this bringing people together? Is this in any way healing anybody?

GUTFELD: It's a --

RIVERA: I worry about it. I think that it's really lame. And I also think that it's transitory, and we'll look back on this period as where the left one crazy.

GUTFELD: I hope you're right. I keep thinking, OK, this could be, this is something like the hippie movement, but worse, and it just kind of goes away. You have children.

WATTERS: Worse than the hippie movement?

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Nothing.

GUTFELD: Nothing is worse than that? I'm actually -- when I look back at it, I'm now pro-hippie.

WATTERS: You're pro-hippie?

GUTFELD: Oh, I'm very pro-hippie.

WATTERS: Yes.

GUTFELD: I mean, they had some --

WATTERS: What are you going to --

TIMPF: Yes, they had acid.

GUTFELD: I know. They introduced a lot of important things --

LOFTUS: They have great sex.

GUTFELD: The woke, the woke-rs don't introduce anything new, but division and anger. At least the hippies had good drugs, and they were, you know, they were open to new ideas, if you know what I mean.

WATTERS: You don't dress like a hippie though.

GUTFELD: Oh, you should have seen me 20 years ago.

WATTERS: Yes, really? No, thank you.

GUTFELD: No, I don't know. I wore a suit.

WATTERS: So, the school board said that Abraham Lincoln was racist.

GUTFELD: Right. And he ended slavery.

WATTERS: That's like calling Gandhi a (BLEEP).

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Like it's like the most, the least racist guy there was. He freed the slaves and they wanted to rename Abraham Lincoln High School.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

WATTERS: That's a true story, Greg. I believe it.

RIVERA: You mentioned Gandhi. Asian parents really should be pissed off by all of this, because their kids are excelling in the elite schools here in New York, the elite schools in San Francisco. That's why all these other parents are so angry. Because here's a kid that sits down in the -- and gets 100, that's the Harvard lawsuit. Yes, you know, they They, I think that Asians are you know, they're the quiet victims of a lot of (BLEEP).

GUTFELD: Of course. Absolutely.

WATTERS: But you said, you said parents are bad people when they're, when they're in these --

RIVERA: They can be jerky.

WATTERS: They can be jerky.

RIVERA: And annoying.

WATTERS: And annoying. And you've come out against parents.

RIVERA: I am totally against parents.

GUTFELD: I have to defend them. They don't have a talk show. Like whenever we get mad at people for being outspoken, we have to remind ourselves that we have an outlet and the parents don't. So, when you see them acting like a talk show host. That's their talk show. And they should be encouraged to like, just scream at him. Michael, question for you. How did they get in power in the first place? Were parents not paying attention?

LOFTUS: A winner? One of the few good things I think that came out of the Wuhan, yes, is that parents were home and they saw what was going on, and they realized I could probably teach my kids better myself.

GUTFELD: Right.

LOFTUS: Which I would encourage every parent to do. I want this to go nationwide. I want every parent to show up at these school board meetings and just read them the --

WATTERS: As if, as if --

GUTFELD: No, but it should be, it should the tea party should be an education party. That's what it should be. Absolutely.

RIVERA: That would, that would be just as obnoxious as the left do it.

GUTFELD: But the point is, we're all, we're all obnoxious.

TIMPF: Right. I'm incredibly obnoxious.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: They need to be not they need like -- we, I mean, what's the point of us having a show if it's not having an impact? We need the teachers need to go there to have an impact.

RIVERA: I will defend you, I say you're not obnoxious in real life.

GUTFELD: Oh, I'm very obnoxious. Ask my wife, my first wife. Anyway. Please don't watch the show. We'll discuss Jesse's book debut which even his mom gave a good review.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: He's the world's savior known for troublemaking behavior. Jesse's new book "How I Save the World" is out now and doing shockingly well. It's just nothing is ever enough for him. We're also going to do a segment on it. But for those people unfamiliar or confused how we even got a book deal and I'm sure there are many, here's some quick highlights from his weekend show "WATERS' WORLD" take it away.

TIMPF: It's not just dance but the face that you make while you're dancing.

GUTFELD: You are. You're like the guy -- the single guy at the airport bar.

LOFTUS: Or at the wedding reception who just isn't drunk enough yet to actually get a pan --

RIVERA: When he bites his lower lip.

TIMPF: Yes, the biting of the lower lip.

GUTFELD: Hey, laugh away. You got a number one bestseller.

LOFTUS: Absolutely.

WATTERS: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

GUTFELD: First, obviously, who do you credit the success of the book?

WATTERS: You.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Is that what you want me to say?

GUTFELD: Well, you could say -- yes, you can say me.

WATTERS: I can say you? All right, I credit you, Greg. I credited you because you have how many bestsellers?

GUTFELD: I think, I have -- well, I have five New York Times bestsellers.

WATTERS: OK.

GUTFELD: Nine books total, but I wasn't really trying with those other books.

WATTERS: OK. All right. So, I'll get there.

GUTFELD: But I don't think I ever got to number one.

WATTERS: Hey, I got lucky because Mark Levin came out the next week and crushed me.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: His timing was everything.

GUTFELD: It is, in fact, you if people don't know this, but the book publishers, that's all they do is they try to find slots.

WATTERS: Right.

GUTFELD: And they go, you don't want to come out when this book comes out, because you're not -- no one's going to buy your book.

WATTERS: Right. They tried to find the slowest slot of the summer to release my book. And they nailed it. So, great job, guys.

GUTFELD: It's true.

WATTERS: Great job.

GUTFELD: What, what was your favorite part of writing the book?

WATTERS: My favorite part were the mom texts because that was already written. So, that was the least amount of work.

GUTFELD: Did the publishing company?

RIVERA: Copy paste, copy paste.

GUTFELD: That is the best part. And then at the end, when you see it saying like you went from one to 30 pages?

WATTERS: Yes, I went from 200 pages to 250 pages.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: But mom's not getting any royalties.

GUTFELD: You remember, I remember I had an interview why I had to. I wanted to interview Bill O'Reilly for "Red Eye," and I got a copy of his book. And that's what we were doing. He wouldn't even come to my set. So, I had to go do it in his set. And when I got the book opened up in the last like 90 pages out of 180 was an interview with he did with Barack Obama.

WATTERS: A transcript.

GUTFELD: It was a transcripts.

WATTERS: We have a lot of transcription in "How I Saved the World."

GUTFELD: It was like, wait a minute, I, I seem to remember this from the "O'REILLY FACTOR." But then I did that with my monologues.

WATTERS: Yes, so my daughters who are 9-and-a-half were very impressed. Not that I wrote a book that it was over 300 pages.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: They were like, the first question they asked: Dad, I said I wrote a book, they said how many pages? And I said, 300. They were like, you wrote 300 pages? To them that's a lot.

GUTFELD: But to any first time author, or any people who doesn't -- that's the, that's the obstacle. It's not the first page. It's when you look at the book and you go like how do I -- I don't think it's possible to do that. Because that's what I thought. I always thought like there's no way you can put you, can put that thing together, it's impossible. But what happens is an outline does everything, right?

WATTERS: And also, bigger font and double spacing. That'll take you a long way.

RIVERA: I got a great idea for your next book.

WATTERS: What?

RIVERA: You're inspired so much by Bill O'Reilly, "Killing Gutfeld."

WATTERS: That book writes itself.

GUTFELD: Yes, it does. I'm actually killing myself. That's what it would be. It'd be all my behaviors and daily habits.

WATTERS: That is I should write a book about you.

GUTFELD: Yes, it wouldn't sell.

WATTERS: Yes, it would. It'll just be all transcripts.

GUTFELD: Well, you know what, we're you know what your next book is, is "How I Save The World: Part 2."

WATTERS: Part two.

GUTFELD: Because there are you obviously succeed.

WATTERS: Catchy.

GUTFELD: You didn't succeed.

WATTERS: I didn't succeed.

GUTFELD: All right, we got to move on. It's called "How I Save the World," you can get it anyway. You probably already bought it but buy two. You know, Mother's Day and Father's Day coming up next year.

LOFTUS: I stole several copies.

GUTFELD: Yes, you did.

RIVERA: That's why you need Baba.

GUTFELD: Baba. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks for Jesse Waters, Geraldo Rivera, Michael Loftus, Kat Timpf, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with Shannon Bream is next. She's evil. I'm Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

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