This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," September 23, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Happy Thursday, everyone or as Kat likes to call it, honey, the police are here flush the eight ball. Julie Banderas is back which is impressive.

JULIE BANDERAS, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: I don't know why.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: I don't know.

GUTFELD: And she's been so busy.

BANDERAS: Oh.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I get it, Julie. You got bills to pay, but you can ask.

BANDERAS: That's the best my abs have looked in years.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: I love that video.

GUTFELD: All right. Enough. Ainsley Earhardt is here.

AINSLEY EARHARDT, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Scared (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: Who did she piss off? Don't worry, Ainsley. This episode won't air. I'm lying. All right. So here's something fun. Donald Trump is officially more popular than Joe Biden. It's true. You don't have to clap. He can't hear you. According to the latest Harvard Harris Poll, Trump rose to 80 -- 48 percent, Biden dropped to 46. How is Biden even at 46? In a normal world he'd be at two percent just ahead of losing your home in a tornado.

Yes. There's a lot of things more popular than Joe Biden. Tinnitus, painful rectal itch. Kamala Harris. But I repeat myself. It's true. Harris is doing better than Joe in nationwide polling, which is easy to explain. She's doing nothing. He's doing something. And research shows the less illiberal actually works, the more popular they are. It's because when they do work, they destroy things. They're like a bull in a China shop.

One that Joe and Hunter are probably silent partners in. Except they're more like rats in a sinking ship. Or maybe they're snakes in the grass. Or perhaps they're --

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You have exceeded your metaphor number. You have exceeded your metaphor number. You have exceeded your metaphor number. Abort immediately. About immediately.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That's a new system we're testing out. I think it works. Which brings us to Joe. Remember how beloved he was when he was chained to a radiator in a basement? Watching reruns of Matlock. Drinking a juice box and waiting for the transfusion. Those were the days when Joe only came outside just once to predict six more weeks of winter. But then he won and had to get to work.

And since then, it's been a groundhog day of policy failures, gaffes and catastrophes. So they loaded Joe up with Prevagen and relief factor. And they -- and they pointed him to the White House, where after eight attempts he found the entrance. And got to work and boy, was that a bad idea? Have you checked America 2021 under Joe? It's now a strangely hobbled, chaotic mess. In short, Biden remade the country in the image of himself.

It's true, the country's just two weeks away from getting hair plugs. The decline reflects his own consistent decline. It's sad, he's falling apart faster than a whopper you're trying to eat while driving. Yet he claims he has things under control. Like he had Afghanistan under control, like he had the pandemic under control, like he has his bladder under control. Now, the only thing under control is Joe controlled by whom?

Well, let's talk about murder. Homicides have risen 30 percent in 2020. The biggest rise since national records began in 1960. You know, the same time Julie was born. We're witnessing -- we're witnessing the biggest spike in 60 years. It's like Back to the Future except that DeLorean can't afford the gas. But that's not how the media reports it. NBC claims that crime is actually falling faster than CNN ratings. How do they get to that idiotic place? Have they been dining with Don Lemon?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DON LEMON, CNN ANCHOR: If you watch a certain state T.V. and you listen to conservative media, you would think that, you know, entire cities are just, you know, and brawled in fights and fires and whatever. We went out and had a great dinner in New York City tonight.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Well, you know what, Don enjoys any meal without Brian Stelter under the table begging for scraps. Anyway, they base this drop in crime on a report by a left-wing think tank which deceptively combined seven different types of crime coming up with an overall crime number which NBC embraced like an unpaid intern at a hot tub party. Shout out to Matt Lauer. Because thefts are four times more frequent than violent crimes.

The overall number hides the rise of violent crime in cities. They're cutting violent crime numbers with non-violent crime numbers. The way a coke dealer would cut his product with powdered laxatives. What did that ruin a few dates back in the 90s? In fact, sorry, the NBC is reporting is like telling a mugging victim to cheer up because male fraud is slightly down. So why would they do that?

Well, the spike in murder follow the unrest after George Floyd's killing unrest that was cheered on by the media. They chose not to report on the riots, the looting and arson because it would taint the narrative of a greater American oppression, in effect we deserve the assaults. But now the data implicates the media and the Dems who let their cities descend into mayhem. In a perfect world, Jeff Zucker would be sharing a cell with Nancy Pelosi. I wonder what the angry black male thinks.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: What up, Gutfeld. I don't know if it looks like I'm playing my video game in a pink room with a punk couch with frilly things above me, but it's not. Don't believe your lying eyes. Believe me when I tell you it's a green room with camouflage. And I'm actually sitting on a cannon right now. So pay no attention to the facts in front of you. And for my next trick, I'm going to piss down your back and tell you it's rain.

But that's really not that funny. Crumbs up because it's up. And crumbs really up. Because this woke administration, that actually makes me angry. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me if I was angry.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Then there's the border or what used to be a border for months. Fox sounded this alarm, but it was ignored because, you know, it's Fox. We're evil. It's the greatest self-inflicted behavior I've seen since Shelley Long decided to leave Cheers. Imagine someone you dislike telling you something that could really help you save your life. And you reject it because their politics don't align.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, stupid, man. You got a little something on your --

(CROSSTALK)

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, nice. Try Mr. Red Hat. All right. I know what you guys are all about.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm just trying to be helpful. Hey, excuse me scrubbing (INAUDIBLE) Oh, you got a little lipstick.

TIMPF: Yes, well, you have a lot of hate in your heart. You disgust me.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, I'm just dropping this up. Oh my god. You got to come up with me. The literal Grim Reaper is behind you.

TIMPF: I don't know how I can make myself more clear. I do not want to talk to you. You are on the wrong side of history.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're about to be on the wrong side of death. Come on.

TIMPF: I don't want to talk to Hitler. I certainly don't want to talk to you.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He's going to kill you.

TIMPF: Yes. Global warming is going to kill us all if all your Little Red Hats have your way.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: My dream comes true. Applauding Kat's death. By the way, shout out to the Grim Reaper for taking the time to help us with that. Here in the audience tonight. A big fan apparently. So Fox offered months of disturbing footage that everyone else in the media ignored until they could find one image they could distort into something worse than slavery. Oh, look, a white man on horseback. It looks just like that statue of Teddy Roosevelt, we just tore down.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. MAXINE WATERS (D-CA): What the hell are we doing here? What we witness takes us back hundreds of years. What we witnessed was worse than what we witnessed and slavery.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Really? Apparently, thousands of blacks suffering in squalid conditions. Didn't matter to Mad Max until she could pin it on a white guy. Well, she could have done that before. But that guy was her boss on the White House. So right now the two most basic things that government should get right law and order and the border have been sacrificed on the altar of progressivism.

And we're all getting splattered with the blood. And that's what is controlling Joe and ideology. He doesn't even understand. Joe is now unpopular because we can all see what many of us saw a year ago, like one of Hunter's dates. This was just a trick. America was fooled into thinking he was as middle of the road as a squashed possum. But in fact, he was an empty vessel like a newborn child's mind whose parents could fill with good or evil values.

And now we're paying the price with a disintegrating border and a disintegrating president. But hey, at least he doesn't tweet.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He's disappointed more than liberals in the U.S. women's soccer team. Author and political commentator, the great Douglas Murray. She's written two children's books so she knows how to deal with tonight's panel. Co-host of "FOX AND FRIENDS," Ainsley Earhardt. She thinks outside the box unless it's Boxed Wine. And she's only here to get away from her kids. Fox News Anchor Julie Banderas.

And finally, those shoes look great with her ankle monitor. Fox News contributor Kat Timpf. So first of all, Douglas, congratulations. You have moved to the United States of America. Is that correct?

DOUGLAS MURRAY, AUTHOR AND POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: It is. It is.

GUTFELD: What were you thinking?

MURRAY: I feel like salmon. One going up rivers, everyone else is complaining that they want to leave this city. And I think that's flat out wrong. I think this is a great city. I think it's a great country. It's a great time to be here. And I'm not listening to the naysayers.

GUTFELD: There you go. What do you think of Joe Biden's performance so far?

MURRAY: It's not been the best presidential start. I would say that he'd be -- must be feeling sad to see these approval ratings going down. But he'll forget about it tomorrow.

GUTFELD: He certainly will. Perhaps in an hour. You have -- is there a central flaw to Democrats or the left that you see that underlines all of these disasters? There seems to be like -- at least from my point of view, a conflation -- or they -- conflation of law and order with non-compassion. So that allows them to condemn any kind of order or process.

MURRAY: It wasn't -- they can't hold on to ideas they start off. I mean, they sort of vaguely have an idea. You should have a border or only some of them do, not all of them. They have an idea to have a border, but then they see a photograph from the border and they say there's a man with something that looks like a whip and then you go no, that's horse rein, and they go well, in that case, we'll solve this by banning horses at the border.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: And it's not at all clear to me that someone's anything but that's familiar pattern. They just find something like that to pick on. And this time the horse has got it. But to be anything

GUTFELD: Blame the horses, Ainsley that's what I always say.

EARHARDT: I mean, I'm telling you, buyer's remorse is a real thing. If you ever bought anything that you regret buying.

GUTFELD: Yes.

EARHARDT: Sure, right?

GUTFELD: Talk to the surgeon in the E.R.

EARHARDT: Bought a house that has termites, whatever it is.

GUTFELD: Yes.

EARHARDT: Buyer's remorse and setting in, that's what's happening. Look at independence. They were the ones who took them over the line, right?

GUTFELD: Right.

EARHARDT: Now if you look the ratings back in January, it was 60 percent. A little bit above 60 percent who approved Joe Biden. Now independence in the summer it dropped into I believe the 50s, 40s. We talked about it this morning. I don't remember the exact numbers.

GUTFELD: This morning?

EARHARDT: This this morning on "FOX AND FRIENDS."

GUTFELD: Oh, yes. That delightful show.

EARHARDT: Thank you.

GUTFELD: Continue.

EARHARDT: And then now, September in the 30s.

GUTFELD: Yes.

EARHARDT: Those were the independence. Those are the ones who are more open minded and willing to -- what has he done right? Look at Afghanistan. We have 40 days in and we still have Americans behind enemy lines. Look at the border. We showed the videos. We've been showing them all day long on "FOX AND FRIENDS." We've all seen them. It looks like a tent city, Third world country.

Look at gas prices going up. Our taxes are going up. Donald Trump, yes. He might send out these mean tweets. I'm not a proponent of that. We try to all be as nice as possible. I don't like some of the things that he says, the name calling and things. But I would take him over Joe Biden any day when you look at his policies.

GUTFELD: Yes.

EARHARDT: Look at Afghanistan. Look at the border. Look at gas prices. Look at our taxes. The economy. It's a no brainer.

GUTFELD: Yes. Much like Joe. Was that fair, Julie? Was that mean?

BANDERAS: No. I thought that was fair, I guess. I mean, I think he has a brain. It just doesn't necessarily work on all six cylinders. How many cylinders are there in an engine? I'm not even --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: -- are four.

BANDERAS: I don't know. But he does take me back to my high ifs analysis which I've shared with you in the past, which is, you know, it brings me back to my high school days as a former high school flunky when I was barely passing. I used to call them high ifs to my parents to justify the report card. What I find really shocking about this is that Kamala Harris is actually scoring higher as the president.

GUTFELD: Right.

BANDERAS: Which also brings me back to those kids that skipped half the school year and got better grades than me, when I at least showed up and failed. She hasn't shown up and she hasn't done a thing. So I got to go back to high school.

GUTFELD: Yes. Believe me, I've tried.

BANDERAS: Not for the girls, for an education.

GUTFELD: How dare you? I just like to volunteer. The fact that I own a white van has nothing to do with it. Kat, what are your thoughts on this particular issue?

TIMPF: Oh, OK. Thank you for specifying. The poll also said that just 30 percent of Americans agree with the U.S. government overall and only 30 percent but that seems high to me. Because what exactly do they approve of? The government in general, for me, all that they've done is, you know, assign me a number to be identified by. Tell me that I can't do stuff and take my money to spend it on things I disagree with. So I don't like any of those things. And I'm confused why it's so high. Who is happy and who is this working for?

GUTFELD: I don't know.

TIMPF: See? Neither do I. And we have a lot of friends.

GUTFELD: Yes, we do. We do. I do. I do.

TIMPF: No, I do.

GUTFELD: No, you don't have --

TIMPF: No. I do.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: I do. Don't -- do not try to make me feel bad because --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Let's not do this here. OK, Kat?

TIMPF: OK, later.

GUTFELD: She has to bring this --

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: Her husband told me I'm her friend.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: That's even worse. She's a failure.

BANDERAS: She's fun.

GUTFELD: Where are we? Up next. I'm kidding. You're not a failure. That was high school. The ACLU doesn't want you to see the actual quote from the late RBG.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Woke apocalypse. Woka -- woka -- wokacalypse? Wokalypse? Woke up like this? Ah, whatever, Greg.

GUTFELD: RBG's words get replaced and women get erased. Yes. The ACLU does some historical cleaning and scrubs a famous phrase of all its meaning. It's no joke even RBG isn't a woke. The formerly saying liberal activist organization tried to honor the late Supreme Court Justice on the one-year anniversary of her death by tweeting a famous quote of hers. In doing so they erased an entire gender.

She fought so valiantly for. Rendering her quote, as toothless as the Real Housewives of Appalachia. It makes me so mad, I just want to run home to my birthing person. In 1993, Ginsburg wrote the decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a woman's life, to her well-being. When government controls that decision for her she's being treated as less than a fully adult human responsible for her own choices.

But the ACLU deleted every single womanly reference and female pronoun, "The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a person's life to their well-being." When the government controls that decision for people. Meanwhile, the ACLU social media team is brainstorming even more tweeted deletions to come. Focusing only on pop music, like the classic Helen Reddy song I am person.

It's really -- it's really a jam. And Cindy Lauper's Non-Cisgendered Humans Just Want To Have Fun. And what about Frankie Valli's Big Non-Binaries Don't Cry? Or the classic Motley Crue song Persons Persons Persons? Finally, Beyonce's all the single humans all the single humans, all the single human. Ges on like that for 17 more tweets.

EARHARDT: That is so good.

GUTFELD: Are you all right, Ainsley?

EARHARDT: So good.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: As a -- Ainsley, as a birthing person.

EARHARDT: Yes, I did birth the baby.

GUTFELD: You did? Congratulations by the way.

EARHARDT: Thank you.

GUTFELD: Billions have done it though. So --

EARHARDT: I know. I know.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Stop bragging.

EARHARDT: It really wasn't that hard. Mine was a C-section.

GUTFELD: Oh, really?

EARHARDT: Yes. I enjoyed it.

GUTFELD: If my wife ever -- if my wife ever gets pregnant. I'll be in the C-section at the ballgame. That was a great joke.

BANDERAS: That was a good one.

TIMPF: It's OK. She doesn't watch the show.

GUTFELD: She doesn't watch the show. That's right. Ainsley, what do you make of this?

EARHARDT: I mean, I personally respect -- listen, I live in New York City. I have a lot of friends with their kids that are going through all of this and I respect whatever you -- anyone wants to be we live in America, you can be who you want to be. But when you -- when you are censoring Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I mean, come on, this lady and I - did you all watch the movie about her recently? I was shocked at all the things that she had done for women.

I'm pretty conservative. And most of the, you know, but I tried to see all sides and I -- when a little kid is going through certain things, and then I want to hear what he or she has to say. So, I'm OK with some of this which I know maybe a lot of people that watch Fox don't agree with but I just have a heart for these children that are going through a lot of this to be honest with you. But when you censor her, it's shocking the direction that our country's going.

This woman, she -- can I -- may I say woman? May I call her a woman? She --

GUTFELD: She's not going to hear it.

EARHARDT: Do you know what she did -- do you know that we would not have been able to get credit cards.

TIMPF: Bank accounts. Yes.

EARHARDT: If it weren't our bank account? If it were not for what she did? There's so many good things --

GUTFELD: That's a good thing?

TIMPF: Yes.

EARHARDT: Yes.

GUTFELD: Have you seen my Amex bill?

EARHARDT: Long gone are the good old days, right, Greg? Sorry, but we can now get our own credit cards and we can pay our own bills and have her own credit cards but just to censor her, it's just so -- it's -- I can't believe we're at this stage.

GUTFELD: Douglas, who are they scared of? this is the ACLU. They were never scared of anybody. They would defend Nazis, remember?

MURRAY: Yes, yes. That's right.

GUTFELD: And -- but who are they scared of? Why are they throwing feminist women under the bus?

MURRAY: It's so strange. There's this entire phase of American life that is terrified of a few weirdos on social media who are obsessed with pronouns.

GUTFELD: Right.

MURRAY: I mean, the one upside of it is that every kid in America now knows what a pronoun is. And maybe next year, it will be the adverbs.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: They're coming for that next. (INAUDIBLE) pronoun obsessives and the (INAUDIBLE) and people who say, no, no, no, we don't have women. We've got (INAUDIBLE) birthing persons and all these things that are the opposite of tripping off the tongue. And weirdly groups like the ACLU which as you say, you know, had in his past that are a noble history of actually standing up for free speech and freedoms in America suddenly becomes completely terrified to these people, right?

What is the power of these people have these kind of pronoun weirdos? What exactly is the power they have that they can bully every institution individually in America?

GUTFELD: Yes. It's -- a lot of it is corporate cowardice, a lot of it is just plain old fear. Everybody's just watching their backs, Kat. You know, you must have loved the ACLU. How this must hurt you deeply?

TIMPF: I used to donate to the ACLU but no more and that's after they said that they support vaccine mandates. I support vaccines but not government mandates. But this issue, a lot of people are talking about it as a political correctness issue. When really this is a regular correctness issue.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Because that's not what Ruth Bader Ginsburg said.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: And for them to present this tweet, I mean, by changing the words, they're saying that there's something wrong with what she did say. So they're saying on the anniversary of her death, we're going to honor her by like passive aggressively (BLEEP) on her. That's not how you honor someone. It's really wrong. And I continue to be more and more disappointed by this supposedly in defense of civil liberties organization.

GUTFELD: It -- ACLU would rather offend biologically female feminists than male to female trans. That is my opinion on this. Feminists who fought for their rights as you say in all series, are now usurped. Is that how you say it? Usurped?

MURRAY: Usurped.

GUTFELD: Thank you. I should always try to look up words before --

TIMPF: OK. You learned it by reading.

GUTFELD: Yes, I learned it by reading. But it's -- they're being used to by --

MURRAY: if I just said usurped head, would you have said it?

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: -- prompter it would have been a whole different --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Oh, oh. OK, Julie. I'm so smart. Look, look, you're also a birthing -- you're also a birthing person. Can I identify -- I don't have any kids. Could I identify myself as a mother? Like I'm a mother to a stapler?

BANDERAS: If you had pets because you didn't birth, you know, stapler.

GUTFELD: No. I -- why do I have top birth --

BANDERAS: I mean, I don't know.

GUTFELD: What if I -- in my brain I birthed a stapler.

BANDERAS: Well then, yes. You could be the mommy to the stapler.

GUTFELD: Awesome.

BANDERAS: That's fine. But I mean, I as a woman, personally I'm offended by this. I think it's a disgrace first of all to put words in this great woman's mouth. Rest in piece. But as a woman who identifies as a she, he because, you know, sometimes I'm more man than I am woman.

GUTFELD: That is true.

BANDERAS: I think no matter how you identify whether it's he or him or they that does not replace the female anatomy. My bellybutton was a tight any, no more. OK? I pee when I sneeze.

(CROSSTALK)

EARHARDT: It's true. Clean my motherhood.

BANDERAS: And I'm proud to be a woman even though --

EARHARDT: Julie, can't you see the women in our workout classes? If you do your -- if you -- if you do jumping jacks in place like this, it means you've had a baby.

BANDERAS: It's true. Right?

(CROSSTALK)

MURRAY: -- an education show.

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: And no man is going to take this away unless it's a doctor who can surgically correct my any belly button. That was once what it was in any.

GUTFELD: You are the true hero in all of it.

BANDERAS: But it was worth it.

EARHARDT: Yes, no, totally. Either great.

GUTFELD: Well, that was -- you're right, Douglas. I just learned a lot.

(CROSSTALK)

MURRAY: Oh, yes, yes. Yes, yes.

TIMPF: So did I.

GUTFELD: Yes. I am, you know, you're not having kids.

TIMPF: Well, we'll see.

BANDERAS: Well, you have to breastfeed, so.

TIMPF: No, I don't.

BANDERAS: I'm just saying.

GUTFELD: Stop this now. Up next. Up next. Less freedom seems prudent for these backwards college students.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: "PLEASE GOD, MAKE THIS END."

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: The girls are still talking about peeing and exercise. Douglas and I are --

DOUGLAS MURRAY, AUTHOR: shooting the breeze.

GUTFELD: You are shooting the -- yes, exactly. Depends should sponsor this show. All right, let's mandatory masks are the rule they want to shut down their school. Earlier this month at the University of Iowa, go Shingles, a group of students staged to die in to protest the school's lacks COVID rules. Yet, they wanted more not fewer restrictions, even though they had a greater chance of getting run over at the protest than they did succumbing to the Coronavirus.

That protest is more upside down than Joe Biden on a flight of stairs. College kids have come a long way from the free speech protests of the 60s. Back then, they burn bras now they wear them on their faces. About 50 students laid on the ground while others do chalk outlines around them, which is how they play hopscotch in Chicago. It's so tasteless, it's so tasteless, you'll think you have COVID.

And here's the best part he was organized by Campaign to Organize Graduate Students or COGS. Finally, an accurate acronym, because only cogs would chant this. What do we want? Mask mandates. When do we want it? Now. And if we don't get it, shut it down. Now it could be that they really do fear for their health, but it could also be they're just really ugly and a mask increases their chances for dates.

I did that when I was young. But while our college kids are falling apart charter schools are rising in popularity enrollment has increased nationally by seven percent over the last 18 months. At the same time, public school enrollment has dropped by 3.3 percent or about 1.5 million kids. Yes, they've lost more kids than Kevin McAllister's Mom. I'm going to stop there. Kat.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes.

GUTFELD: This is -- do you believe this? I thought this was fake.

TIMPF: No, I believe it because it's probably a lot easier for these freaks to tell themselves that they're staying at home, you know, for the greater good and not just because they haven't been invited anywhere else there.

GUTFELD: There you go, yes.

TIMPF: Right. Like, there's 50 kids, it's not a lot of people. All the other kids are out, you know, mixed, you know, splitting their time between studying and blacking out like, you're supposed to in college and the kids aren't you know it feel I was in high school and this was around then I might event you know, had the same temptation. It'd be like I'm alone in my room writing poetry about how the guy that I like said he didn't see me as a girl. I am a good person, not a pathetic one. But I didn't have that chance and now I you know, grew stronger. But these kids you know, good luck.

GUTFELD: All right. What do you think Julie?

JULIE BANDERAS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I want to know, who here has had a little slip up with a condom, raise --

GUTFELD: I'm not raising --

BANDERAS: You're too good for this conversation.

MURRAY: I'm voting present.

BANDERAS: OK. So, the point being is that condoms are not 100 percent, vaccines are not 100 percent, and if somebody is going to tell you you're going to knock this girl up, put a condom on chances are you probably will be good. If you know that you are going to avoid death, get vaccinated. It's pretty simple like that. But you know, I'm not to say that, you know, children are the death of you.

So, they could be compared to COVID in a sense, but if somebody is going to wear a condom and not get pregnant because they know that's going to be the likely option, the most likely option. I have no problem with these kids actually coming forward and saying yes, we do not want to get pregnant or get COVID.

GUTFELD: But OK, I don't I don't buy that comparison. Because wearing a mask is not like wearing a condom.

BANDERAS: No, but vaccination.

GUTFELD: No, they were talking about --

TIMPF: Excellent point.

BANDERAS: Well, they want it all, they want --

GUTFELD: I was focusing on the mask thing. How dare you changing the narrative. Ainsley, what are your thoughts?

AINSLEY EARHARDT, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: What do you think? Is having a baby worse? Or getting COVID?

TIMPF: Um, I don't know. I haven't had either. It depends on your --

(CROSSTALK)

EARHARDT: Having a baby is wonderful.

BANDERAS: It is wonderful.

TIMPF: What if I have the baby and then it sucks.

GUTFELD: All right, let's stop turning into "The View."

EARHARDT: Sorry Greg, having a baby is great. I will tell you what I think, I think this is just -- I mean, I look at this picture. I'm like, don't they have jobs? I mean, this is so weird.

GUTFELD: Well, they're in college.

EARHARDT: Oh, that's true. Don't they have such studying or classes?

MURRAY: Didn't they want to have dogs one day?

EARHARDT: Right. I mean, it's just so weird. I can't imagine doing that in college. I mean, graduates whose -- honestly, like, if Republicans would focus on school choice, it would be such a win for you are dead on because parents feel trapped. That's why I think charter schools you're seeing an increase. That's why in homeschooling, you're seeing an increase, because of this kind of thing.

Mask mandates at you know, schools in the city. They're saying, you have to have a mask on even outdoors Greg, these are insane. And now they're then they said, 12 and above have to be vaccinated in some of the schools where my friends send their kids. And now these parents are worried if they say five year olds, kindergarteners have to get vaccinated.

Does that mean I have to choose if my child is going to get this great education at the school, or stay at home and I try to homeschool or I do zoom or whatever it is, because I don't want to get my kid vaccinated? So, I think school choice would be a wonderful absolute message.

GUTFELD: Last word to you, Douglas.

MURRAY: I think it's totally insincere. I think they just want to stay at home and smoke more pot or something like that. I don't, I don't believe this stuff. By the way, I mean, one of the sad things is the total lack of perspective of students in this situation. They sit around on college campuses thinking the whole of life is a liberal arts college. And for every one of those students, there is five students their age in China working to get the kind of standard of living that these kids think there is a birthright.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: And they have no call for that. They have no concern about that. They just think it's always going to go on like this. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

GUTFELD: This is leads me to my, my -- the perfect immigration process for me. I would gladly exchange three college students from America for one hard working Haitian. Problem solved.

Coming up an actor who took a fall, warns cancel culture can come for us all.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: "CANCELLING TORNADO."

GUTFELD: These witch hunts shall not stand says Edward Scissorhands. It's true Captain Jack Sparrow thinks cancel culture is harrow-ing. In a new interview, Actor Johnny Depp slammed cancel culture saying "It's so far out of hand, now that I can promise you that no one is safe because he's not safe. Not one of you, no one out that door.

It takes one sentence and there's no more ground. The carpet has been pulled. It's not just me that this has happened to, it's happened to a lot of people." Depp, of course, was referring to his public legal battle with his ex, Amber Heard, in which they both accuse each other of domestic violence. The count basically ruled in favor of court actually by tossing a Debs libel suit. I made no sense and I don't care.

So, it's canceled culture as bad for Johnny Depp as it is for any ordinary slap. He has piles of money for lawyers and influential friends to support him. And although he lost a few acting gigs, he still has his castle. Perhaps, if he broadened his concern about this house this hard left McCarthyism to include the victims who aren't weirdos who own chocolate factories, then we feel bad for him.

But it's like Tom Jefferson used to say: Greg, you have amazing calves. Tom is my personal trainer. Julie, Julie, is this really cancel culture or is this, it's weird celebrities showing up late to the party are welcome to join. But is this because they really see the problem or that they were finally targeted?

BANDERAS: I mean, OK, so if a judge rules that there's evidence that proves that you are a violent man and you're a terrible husband, I say fine, maybe a little therapy I'm pretty forgiving. I used to have a major crush on this guy. So, like I have to say, up until he started the like thick black smudgy line.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: Under his under eye lash line, I have a hard time believing that he was that awful evil person. But I still believe in forgiving. I do not believe in cancel culture, and I say get some fair He gets a makeup remover and maybe you can start a new career.

GUTFELD: Does what do you think what happened to him?

MURRAY: No, it's not cancel culture. He sued the Sun, which I happen to write for very fine British tabloid newspaper. The Sun said that he had -- the Sun said that he had been beating his wife, he sued the Sun, he lost.

That is not cancel culture, that is stupidly bringing a libel action in the British courts for something that was true, that's totally different from canceled culture. The one of the things that Johnny Depp he's a lovely actor and I mean you know, I agree I don't think everybody's life should just be destroyed even for something like this.

But you know, the one lesson from Johnny Depp is you never sue for libel. We learned all sorts of things in court about both him and Amber Heard or embittered, as he called her it turned out because it turned out that both of them accused the other of deprecating in the bed right in Britain we go to the bathroom and we'll think this was very strange behavior.

And it's just -- were funny like. They were very proper, and so that went down badly and, and, and, you know, literally they ended up airing their dirty linen in public.

GUTFELD: Literally.

MURRAY: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes, I'm so excited. It's the D-block. We finally got something about poop.

TIMPF: Oh, I know you were about ready to die.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly, what are your thoughts?

TIMPF: Yes, well, look, he's right, that it's wrong that you can have you know, be completely canceled over a single sentence. And it just outweighs the entire rest of your life and everything about you the same time I do have a tough time feeling bad for someone whose scarf collection is worth more than my entire life.

GUTFELD: That is true. That is true. I think, I mean if he joins, if he joins the anti-cancel culture war, that's great. So, I welcome it with open arms.

EARHARDT: I mean, look at the border. You have now the progressives that are saying they're mad at Joe Biden.

GUTFELD: Yes.

EARHARDT: So, when that happens, you know there's a problem. When you have liberals in Hollywood that are saying speaking out against cancel culture, you know, maybe this is not the right thing to do. Look, this is America you don't want to watch Fox, you don't want to watch another channel, you can change the channel, you have a choice, and we can do that.

I don't agree with these boycotts and look, I'm glad some of these celebrities are speaking out against, against campus culture. It's something we've been feeling for a long time. And about the celebrity thing. We are Z-list celebrities probably, right?

GUTFELD: What?

EARHARDT: I mean these are a A-list celebrities.

TIMPF: Oh no. Oh no.

GUTFELD: Who the hell do you think you are?

EARHARDT: All right -- I was, you didn't let me finish.

GUTFELD: OK.

TIMPF: You activated him.

EARHARDT: You didn't let me finish. You are the A-lister at Fox. If you look at the ratings compared to the other late night shows, you are the A- list celebrity. So, Greg, if I read anything in the tabloids, I know as a Z-list celebrity, I know anything they write is probably not true.

GUTFELD: You are absolutely right. Thank you so much for that and she is right, brilliant Ainsley Earhart. Up next, Halloween costumes don't mean sexy standards, they're dressing like old Bernie Sanders.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Are trick or treat-ers smitten by an old man in mittens? Yes, it's the sexy costume mask that wants to raise your income tax. It's apparently true. One store claims that Bernie Sanders is the first sexy Halloween costume of this season, which means it's time for a new segment.

ANNOUNCER: "WE CALL (BLEEP)."

GUTFELD: The costume is based out viral photos snapped of the Vermont senator freezing outside during the last inauguration. According to the online retailer dolls kill, the costume can be yours for just 85 bucks. That one percent price tag gets you a wafer thin coat mittens and a face mask for an extra 100. They'll throw in three cardboard houses. But the real good news wear this costume and you're entitled to as much candy as you want from someone else's basket. As long as long as it's mashed into an easy to digest paste, but why go is burning when there's so many better options?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's that time of year again when you search and search for a Halloween costume, but can't seem to find the one that's right for you.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm tired of all these costumes that objectify my body. They all look the same. Honestly, I'm out of ideas.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sounds like you could use a costume that's fair and balanced.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, yes, introducing the Fox News favorite faces costume collection. Each outfit comes with a unique design. So, there's no mistaking which cable news if you're representing this Halloween, like the Brian Kilmeade. This costume comes complete with dark jacket, light shirt, khakis, and bold but tasteful tie.

Or how about the Steve Doocy with his awesome looking at your jacket, like shirt, khakis, and a bold but tasteful tie?

We've even got Tucker Carlson which is one of a kind dark jacket, like shirt, khakis, and a bold but tasteful tie.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Got anything else.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Then try the Greg Gutfeld.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Take my money now.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's the Fox News Favorite Faces Costume Collection.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Classic. All right, we don't have a lot of time so let's just go around quick thoughts on costumes.

TIMPF: Calling it sexy Bernie Sanders is offensive because it implies that Bernie Sanders is not sexy on his own. He says they're dressed as sexy cat 10 five he pissed off just cat Tim is fine.

GUTFELD: Julie.

BANDERAS: Not sexy at all. And I have cornered the market on not sexy when it comes to Halloween. I got a couple pictures I can show you right now. Me as Wicked Witch of the West. Wow. Take a close up shot. Now that's hot.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: I was also in the Grinch. And I was a big fat pig. So, there we go. If you have any ideas or need ideas --

GUTFELD: Fantastic. Ainsley?

EARHARDT: Really came prepared. Well, you did your research.

BANDERAS: Yes, I did.

EARHARDT: No, I love that. I really love this. This is my favorite segment we've done because if this is sexy, then I'm all in. Now that I'm a little bit older, you do not live in -- Fox we come we get our hair and our makeup done, we sit in the chair for how long right? It's wonderful. I'm grateful we don't have to do it ourselves, it's a dream come true.

I'm not complaining but on the weekends. I don't wear any makeup. I have my glasses on. I have my hair up in a bun. I don't have to wash my hair if I don't want to. I'm in sweatpants. And I love it. So if this is sexy, and I can wear these mittens and be warm and cozy coat or maybe a snuggie, I'm OK with it --

TIMPF: Not wearing pants.

GUTFELD: All right. You know what, I think this is the worst costume Douglas and I include Prince Harry dressing up as a Nazi.

MURRAY: Yes, it would go down as badly. I have to say I'm slightly bemused by the whole Halloween thing. We don't do it as much in my country of birth. And so, I only noticed that every year at Halloween, a whole set of Americans get canceled for life for something they've worn. And I, I sort of think there are probably two options for America at this stage.

Either your stay at home on Halloween, and you don't go out, you don't dress as anything. Or you should just go for the nuclear option and have one year where you all go as a village people or something and you just sit and stop it and then everyone can have a great Halloween every year after.

GUTFELD: There you go.

MURRAY: That's my idea.

GUTFELD: All right. I'm going to be for just full on mask mandates for Halloween. How about that? Stupid joke, don't go away, we'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Thanks to Douglas Murray, Ainsley Earhardt, Julie Banderas, Kat, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

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