Updated

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," January 3, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, CHIEF MEDICAL ADVISOR TO PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN: What'd he conflated that is that therefore we were involved in creating the virus, which is the most ridiculous majestic leap I've ever heard of.

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LAURA INGRAHAM, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST (on camera): Chinese comment -- of a scientists, friends. Well, thank you for watching. "GUTFELD!" next.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST (on camera): Yes. Yes. What a smattering of applause. As you can tell, we don't have an audience tonight. They're dead. Tired of the restrictions. So, it's just us. I guess I should read my monologue.

Welcome back to a brand new year. Are you excited or what? I know Kat and Emily should be considering I didn't crush them yet. For their guest host jokes that were in my absence.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (on camera): Unlike Greg when he sits in this chair, I don't need a booster right now. That's right. Cultural reference that's newer than 40 years old. You won't get that with Greg Gutfeld.

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (on camera): Is Greg tied up naked with duct tape over his mouth dumped in the girl's locker room? Wait, no. That was him in high school.

Do you think Greg is missing us right now? Should we call him gigantic Greg, actually from now on?

JOE DEVITO, WRITER AND COMEDIAN: I will not be.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. Laugh it up. Yes, so while they were yakking it up at my expense. I spent the last eight days in one bed. You know, I usually prefer a different beds each night like Wilt Chamberlain. But I was sick. While I tested negative on COVID, I tested positive on everything else. I'm pretty sure I had the flu, the cold, Zika, Ebola. But what do you expect when you borrow one of Michael Loftus' jackets?

Who mugged a rodeo clown? It looks your shirt had a triple bypass. I'm not kidding. That thing harbors more bacteria than a port authority toilet. Thanks for that single laugh.

But thank God -- thank God I made it through and I wouldn't miss it for the world. Because what a year we have planned. I'm an optimist and I see great things again, and not just when I look in the mirror. The best sign, watching the legacy media realize that they're screwed.

And you know things are bad in 2022 when they're still reliving 2021. Here they are gearing up for their version of conflict Christmas, otherwise known as January 6th 2.0.

Yes, it's as if the only thing that can save their crippled cabled network is the ghost of president's past, Santa Trump. You see, there's a bit of an informal network of reporters who've been through it that day and are still coping with that leaning on each other, talking to each other.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

HUNTER WALKER, CONTRIBUTOR, THE ROLLING STONE: There's a bit of an informal network of reporters who've been through it that day and are still coping with that who are leaning on each other and talking to each other.

And we're all still dealing with that and feeling like we need to convey to others how serious it was.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. Because only you guys thought it was serious. You jackasses. Please, everyone thought it sucked. But unlike you, they're not trying to turn a profit off it. But oh, our nation's brave journalists are still processing it like it was a price surge and responsibly raised chicken. Yes, they're taking a riot where the only unnatural death was from a cop shooting an unarmed woman and making it out to be worse than 9/11.

And it hurts that they're still coping while everyone saw it for what it was an ugly event that came and went. But CNN can't let go. They need to convey to others how serious it was for them, because they're the real victims. And why? Because reporting what actually happened didn't scare enough people. And much like Loftus' body spray the ginned up hysteria has long worn off and all that's left is the stench.

So, what's left for CNN? Besides a -- to catch a Predator reboot? They got the stars. They have to create a distraction. Look at this guy wearing a viking hat. He's part of the unarmed insurrection that no one has been charged with insurrection for. He's so scary. He needed a Halloween costume. But yes, the journalists who are the real victims here.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRIAN STELTER, ANCHOR, CNN: He wrote for pointer at the end of January last year, you said sometimes I'm fine. Sometimes I want to sob for hours. Sometimes I just want to sleep. So, that sounds to me like trauma, that sounds like PTSD. Do you feel like you still experienced that?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I do think so to a certain extent.

STELTER: Is that true for you as well?

WALKER: Well, you know, I've had an experience in my life with a really bad car accident, where I was diagnosed with PTSD. And I've been really grateful for this as I've been dealing with January 6th.

STELTER: To know the signs of PTSD.

WALKER: Exactly. Because I've been through treatment, you know, I know what it is.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: They're all suffering from PTSD. A disorder usually experienced by military veterans and actual violent crime victims. You know, the people whose complaints the press normally ignores. If these journalists are victims, then so as Jussie Smollett. They're hoaxing a hate crime against themselves.

And yet here they are demanding compassion. Something that was strangely missing when dozens of Americans were dying in the riots that they, the media at CNN ignored back when everything was mostly peaceful.

They hid those violent details like the Secret Service hides Joe Biden's car keys. So the media now appropriates the pain of real victims. Just like when they blame the terror attack in Waukesha on a SUV. They certainly didn't feel this way when violence rampage through nearly two dozen major cities led by Libs, perhaps because they were far removed from the disrupt -- destruction that that they papered over.

See, that's why it's the soldiers who get PTSD, not the people who sent them to war, but you can't blame them for trying. The polling has shown the country moved on from CNN's latest fetish, at least a one that's legal.

Yes, the public sees the Republicans moving in the right direction, while it's the Dems who keep sinking like an iPhone dropped in a toilet. Now, I don't know if the Republicans have any answers.

Since when to any politicians these days, like the Maroon Five catalogue, I pretty much hate them all. But anything is better than what the Dems are serving. It's 2022 but it's dressed up now as 2021. I might have that backwards.

Inflation, COVID, crime, it's a bottomless pit with spikes at the bottom, Emily. And that explains CNN all it -- going all in on January 6th, and you can see right through it like a Miley Cyrus tube top.

It's also obvious, maybe January 6th will be the diversion we need to save us from our own casual dismissal of the suffering incurred under Democrat rule in 2021. Name if we focus on January 6th, America won't look at every single day. Other than that where CNN dismissed your pain as deserved were victims of persecution deserved it and where law enforcement was worse than the thugs they tried to protect you from.

Meanwhile, they covered for the screwed up anchors, their political relatives and their deviant producers. In 2021, CNN did more covering up of the news than actual covering of the news. So, I get it, for CNN January 6th, it really is their Christmas.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

COMPAGNO: Oh, so they did kill James Van Der Beek.

DEVITO: There you are.

COMPAGNO: Hey.

DEVITO: I got you something.

COMPAGNO: What? Christmas was last week.

DEVITO: Oh no, this is for January 6th. I got at the CNN gift shop in the theraphy section.

COMPAGNO: Oh. You shouldn't have. Oh my god. A Brian Stelter dough. I love it.

DEVITO: I know you would. And it comes with accessories.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Terrible. So blame, anger, hysteria, division. They all make great stocking stuffers and CNN Santa is here to say that it's you who are naughty and them who are nice. Piece of advice. Don't sit on his lap.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period!

GUTFELD: Let's listen to that crazed applause.

Let's welcome tonight's guests. He's so British even his crumpets have a stiff upper lip. Author and political commentator Douglas Murray.

She's skilled at leading cheers, writing steers and down and beers. "OUTNUMBERED" co-host, Emily Compagno.

And when he's on set that frees up one extra bed at the homeless shelter. The Loftusparty.com founder, Michael Loftus.

And her new year's resolutions are all court ordered. Listen to that. That was a hefty laugh I think may because it's true. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf.

All right. Wow. So, anyway, I do think I'm the real victim here. I've been sick. I just got back, Douglas. Thank you for the kind card. And the -- I think that was you that sent me the card.

DOUGLAS MURRAY POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: I don't remember sending anything. I do remember caroling.

GUTFELD: You just made me spit. What -- can you blame CNN for not moving on? This is kind of like the only thing they got left at this point.

MURRAY: It's true. It's something particularly unpleasant and ugly about journalists talking about themselves. Like, you know, it used to be a rule in journalism that you just never talked about yourself like that reporters didn't say, you know, the stories about me. You reported on what you saw. I know war correspondents, long-term war correspondents who don't do this crap.

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (on camera): Yes.

MURRAY: They just don't do it.

They don't turn up and tell everyone else that they've got PTSD from it and presenters don't diagnose PTSD live on air.

GUTFELD: Right. So true.

TIMPF: Yes.

MURRAY: And you know it's (INAUDIBLE). So, now, I mean, of course anyone let go of it. They're the heroes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: They're the brave truth tellers. They've always wanted to be since they first saw all the President's Men.

GUTFELD: Yes. That's so true. Whenever you can make yourself the protagonist. Why wouldn't you? Isn't that why, you know, that's -- it's not why you're wearing that mutant --

MICHAEL LOFTUS, FOUNDER, LOFTUSPARTY.COM: Come on. You can do it. Pull it out, said that mutant --

GUTFELD: Every -- like -- it's like -- it's like somebody who had one of those zipper surgeries on --

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: But you had your pecs removed.

(CROSSTALK)

LOFTUS: It would be -- these were pockets and I just wipped out different - -

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes, where did that come from?

LOFTUS: Where did this -- I got this from Billy Gibbons dumpster.

GUTFELD: There you go.

LOFTUS: Z.Z. Top.

GUTFELD: There you go. What -- should CNN maintain focus on this? Are we not focusing --

(CROSSTALK)

LOFTUS: They should keep going. They need to shine a spotlight on this. It's all about me. I'm a victim. Here's what I like to do. The lefty pinko commies over at CNN and the left they have this like whole cry bully mentality. Back like, oh, it's unprecedented. It's never happened before. I'm really -- I've been traumatized and someone needs to pass a law and the government needs to come in. Like it's so horrible to watch. And it's so predictable and boring.

Like they act like the Capitol has never been attacked before. I think it was bombed in -- it was bombed in the 80s. It was bombed in the 70s. There was a shooting in the 50s.

TIMPF: Emily is --

(CROSSTALK)

LOFTUS: British -- 1812.

(CROSSTALK)

MURRAY: Hey, before my -- before my --

LOFTUS: Still pissed them out that one bunny.

GUTFELD: Yes, I'm glad you brought that up.

LOFTUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: I'm glad you brought --

(CROSSTALK)

LOFTUS: Never forget, never forget.

GUTFELD: Never forget.

LOFTUS: It was you who led us.

GUTFELD: But you know what the other thing that they're denying? And this is the thing that gets me ticked off because it requires everybody to go through this exercise of condemning it. We aren't like the mostly peaceful riots. We said. Those are freaking riots. And the thing that happened January 6th sucked. That was a riot. No one's denying that. But what CNN pretends is that they pretend that they didn't deny the real violence and that they're the only ones talking about this.

And so, in order to buy into this lie, you have to -- you have to have like, chemically induced amnesia.

COMPAGNO: You have to be exclusively focused on this or you didn't give it enough attention.

GUTFELD: Right, right. Right.

COMPAGNO: The New York Times editorial board said "Every day is January 6th."

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: So, yes, you're either obsessed with it, or it's not enough. I think the interesting thing as they diagnosed themselves with trauma and the like, is that you would think if they experienced this absolutely horrible day and have resulting PST -- PTSD from it, that they would empathize with the millions of Americans who went through these years of violence in these last couple years with the 500 families that lost a loved one to homicide to gunshots in D.C. last year are here in New York City. 800 in Chicago.

The guy who was beaten to death in front of his two children while hanging Christmas lights. The list goes on of the families across America that have been absolutely ripped apart by homicide, by skyrocketing crime statistics, and by urban centers that have absolutely imploded.

You would think these guys would exercise some empathy and say yes, yes, I have a modicum of understanding of how that felt.

So, let me report on it. Let me lift up and amplify your voices. But instead, they're just absolutely ignoring what voters really care about which is their safety and their livelihood.

GUTFELD: You know, to boil down that very long answer to something.

COMPAGNO: Sorry.

GUTFELD: Think about this. Those -- spent more time talking about their PTSD, then, Ashli Babbitt, that is a person who was shot dead, unarmed woman. And I don't remember CNN's talking about the PTSD of her family or anybody there who saw her get killed, unarmed. That -- that's a -- that's a lot to digest.

Let's go to, Kat Timpf.

TIMPF: Hey, hey.

GUTFELD: Kat, what's going on with you? Other things? You got sick too but you were -- so, I'm not going to ask you what you had because it's none of my business.

TIMPF: I had Omicron and PTSD.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: No, I guess if that's what it is, it was like sometimes I'm fine. Sometimes I'm sobbing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: That's normal.

GUTFELD: That's my life.

TIMPF: How I live.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I just hope that their lying. I hope it's not true that there's not really this group of people that meets up to hang out and talk about January 6th.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And what do you do? You go to happy hour like chips and glock and talk about it? I don't believe them, and I hope for their sake, that it's not true because that makes me sad.

GUTFELD: Yes. And the thing is PTSD is real.

TIMPF: Real.

GUTFELD: I -- there's no doubt that they were shaken up about some of the things that happen. But this is an appropriation that like going back to what Douglas said, despite being British, he is correct. Forgotten. See? I went on the side now I forgot the point I was going to make.

COMPAGNO: Appropriating trauma.

GUTFELD: Appropriating drama is something that our press is a -- it's a modern phenomenon.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

GUTFELD: It's a modern phenomenon to talk about yourself because you might actually get a book deal out of it to, you know.

LOFTUS: A gig at CNN.

GUTFELD: Yes. Or a gig at CNN.

TIMPF: They're not supposed to want PTSD.

GUTFELD: No. You're not, yes.

LOFTUS: Don't your remember the cops testifying? This is a whole new thing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: It has to be, oh, I was so shook. Oh, I got PTSD. Like they had those cops testifying. And every single one of them cried.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

LOFTUS: Like what?

GUTFELD: And that -- by the way.

LOFTUS: I didn't expect it. They were pushing and then I was pushing back.

GUTFELD: But, you know, we've got -- we got to move on. But, you know, that's -- that was the first time I saw CNN sympathetic to the police. Right? Because it was -- it was something that they could nail an administration for.

All right. Up next crime is liberal seeking alternatives, making them seem more like conservatives.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: I finally realized what your jacket is. Cool. No, it's Hee Haw meet saw.

COMPAGNO: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: It's he saw.

LOFTUS: It's he saw.

GUTFELD: It's he saw.

LOFTUS: The classics. It's the classic.

GUTFELD: He saw she saw.

LOFTUS: He saw she saw.

GUTFELD: Oh, yes. All right. Has the liberal rich learned a lesson?

LOFTUS: I made Kat visibly ill.

GUTFELD: But no, it's not that hard. Isn't that a full meal in six days? All right. Can we roll that down? Has the liberal rich learned a lesson and started stocking up on Smith and Wesson? Yes, they screwed the police in local elections. Now, they're buying up guns for their own protection. Some of L.A.'s wealthiest residents are blocked flocking to Beverly Hills only gun store amid a rise in crime. You can see the fear in their faces if it weren't for all the Botox.

According to L.A. magazine, Beverly Hills guns, which is a concierge service by appointment only and not what they used to call me at Gold's Gym, Emily. Yes, those were the days?

I see business take off following a bunch of high profile violent crimes. Some customers have even asked about armored cars with bulletproof glass, or as they call it in Chicago, a school bus.

LOFTUS: That was delightful.

GUTFELD: Oh, you're a strange man. But apparently man he are progressives who've never even held an interesting opinion, let alone elder weapon. Here's tape of a recent buyer.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Nailed it. Meanwhile, in San Francisco, where the sidewalks are covered with feces instead of stars. Former Mayor Willie Brown discussed how crime and street conditions are turning it into a hellhole. He noted in a recent interview, we've always wanted to make San Francisco a place where you could be comfortable. But that's created a problem because suddenly the people enjoying the comfort are the people who have decided they can define how they can enjoy the comfort.

And that might be an intrusion on the people who are paying for it, the taxpayers. So it's rare when we have to treat that obvious truth is refreshing. We caught up with one of San Frans most popular perps for comment.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: So, the city is cracking down. How has that affected you?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, look, I'm just a small town kid with a dream and that dream was to openly -- in the streets of San Francisco. A lot of other cities would say hey, stop -- in the streets, but not San Fran and for that I'm grateful

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Any highlights or regrets?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I had a great run. I had the run of the runs. One time I brought the side of a cable car. I let it rip for an entire city block. No matter what happens. Let's just say I left my short in San Francisco.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And where can people find you?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, you mean other than squatting in the streets? Be sure to hit me up at Turd Man of Alcatraz at geocities.edu. And don't forget to like and subscribe.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Good job. So, Kat --

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Should we be happy about this change of heart? Or is this something where like incredibly wealthy, aloof people will be? Oh, it's just for me, my protection, but you can't have a gun.

TIMPF: Yes, I want to be able to have a gun. I --

GUTFELD: I agree you should have one.

TIMPF: Thanks, Greg. I've also shot one before.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: So, hopefully they know how to use because I don't think if someone's breaking into your house, they'll like wait for you to like watch a YouTube video. You have to learn ahead of time how to actually use the gun in order for it. But I think it's great. But I think also that they're probably not going to admit it. Like we'll never know who these people are. They'll still wear like the -- whatever the little orange shirts or whatever they were. Like they'll still be doing the anti-gun stuff even on they have one in their -- in their house.

GUTFELD: The little orange shirts?

TIMPF: Yes, it was their thing wherever more orange shirts to stop guns, it didn't work.

GUTFELD: No. It didn't. I mean, you should wear them when you're hunting. I mean, are you talking about like Warren's vest?

TIMPF: I'm pretty sure it was a thing. I'm not 100 percent sure. But I --

GUTFELD: We'll fact -- we'll fact check this and edit, Emily, just to pretend like none of this ever happened. Are we moving towards a bifurcated society where only the rich can afford security and like, let's take the country of Brazil, right? I have no idea what I'm saying. But in Brazil, the rich people are safe but everybody else isn't.

TIMPF: And they have to wear orange.

GUTFELD: And they have to wear orange.

COMPAGNO: That's exactly right.

GUTFELD: That's the Brazilian color. It means peace.

COMPAGNO: Yes,

GUTFELD: Orange means peace.

COMPAGNO: Yes, and --

GUTFELD: It's called the sunshine country.

COMPAGNO: Yes, (INAUDIBLE) check. Yes, and Los Angeles specifically talks about that, as Beverly Hills said, honestly, you know, we're lucky that we can write a check and cover anything that our residents want or need. And L.A. was like, well, we can't. So that's why their residents are getting absolutely terrorized even more. And I love that the gun company, they still speak the language of Beverly Hills.

Like the Tony Stark guy who wanted half a dozen automated drones that hover around his house at all times. They call that the Gucci package. So, I feel like, you know, there -- there's definitely an equivalence happening. But I think at the end of the day what's most important is deterrence. And the thing that's going to achieve deterrence besides having Dobermans in your property, besides carrying your weapon on your person --

GUTFELD: Or in your person.

COMPAGNO: Is voting into office, prosecutors that are going to prosecute.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: And put these guys behind bars.

GUTFELD: That's true.

COMPAGNO: Because otherwise, we have to rely on Kevin Costner which I'm totally fine with.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. May he -- may he rest in peace.

COMPAGNO: From The Bodyguard, got it?

TIMPF: I don't watch --

COMPAGNO: No, no. Oh, I was like (INAUDIBLE) spoiler alert --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I'm just joking. He's alive. I believe he's alive.

Loftus --

COMPAGNO: Greg.

GUTFELD: Here is the deal. Is this going to -- like the problem with Hollywood is they have a novel -- novelty -- noveltized view of guns like they love the way they look. But they don't understand the practicality of them. Correct?

LOFTUS: Right.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: I lot they don't understand about guns.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: Ask Alec Baldwin.

GUTFELD: Yes, there you go. Yes.

LOFTUS: This is one of those things where everyone saw this coming.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: It's like, OK, you're going to defund the police. You got these prosecutors that aren't going to actually prosecute the crimes. You're going to let people out of jail. I bet that we're going to have a thing where only the rich people have guns and the poor people don't.

GUTFELD: Right.

LOFTUS: And it's just insulting. Like the whole -- though I found the whole Gucci package. And so, I'm like, what is that anyway? It's like a diamond encrusted shotgun with the drones and stuff? Everybody in my neighborhood and studio cities fighting with that dollar store package. That's where you have to throw a frozen burrito at the guy tried to break into your car. Then you have to go get the burrito because that's thinner. That's how poor we were.

GUTFELD: Oh. That's a great story.

LOFTUS: Thank you. I'm held up in Brazil when I was forced to wear orange. A color of peace.

GUTFELD: Yes. I may have my history backwards, Douglas, but I believe it was the second amendment that helped us beat you Britons, rights?

MURRAY: This is -- this is turning into a very racist episode against my people.

GUTFELD: No, but I mean, if it wasn't for guns, we wouldn't have been able to separate from your evil empire.

MURRAY: Again, it's before my time. I'm feeling victimized. I've got PTSD. I -- it's amazing story because this speaks to something that's really troubling, should be troubling for America, which is I read the other day that the figures had just come out and last year one percent of California has left.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: By the way, that I think that figure might not be coincidental. You know, if you wage war on the one percent you might well chase them out eventually.

GUTFELD: Right.

MURRAY: And then who's going to cover the tax burden of the state and much more? But you've seen this coming already. I think in San Francisco, I think San Francisco for a long time. It's my least favorite city in America because I think it's been for decades, a dystopian city. And what we're seeing at the moment is a kind of San Franciscozation of the -- of cities across the country. Instead of learning the lessons of San Francisco not doing it.

We keep following what they've done and end up with these bifurcated societies where the very rich live in towers and they go downstairs and, you know, they see feces on the floor.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: I know at least it's not a dog's.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: And they think that's normal.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: They think that's perfectly normal.

COMPAGNO: What's interesting in that interview with former mayor, Willie Brown, they brought up the point that if something were to happen to our president, number two and number three are both from San Francisco.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: Yes. Kamala Harris and Nancy Pelosi. And they asked him, is this, you know, will this kind of inform for their succession? He said, no, we don't have a bench. He said, it's dead. We are we are totally talentless there in that city. And therefore the buck stops ultimately with Pelosi, for once they're gone.

(CROSSTALK)

LOFTUS: She just said -- she just said number two came from San Francisco. You didn't do anything.

GUTFELD: Because she also said number three which is a combination of one and two.

LOFTUS: Which is the worst.

GUTFELD: Which is the worst, especially when you step in it. Up next. Well, New York sees record cases AOC hubs unmasked faces.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: AOC parties hard yet still play the victim card. Over the weekend, that's two days, Emily, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez lived it up at South Beach, putting the duh in Florida. She even shared a non-COVID friendly smooch with a drag performer proving that COVID rules are for Republicans and people that serve her at parties. Critics pointed out her hypocrisy as New York deals with record COVID surges and endless masking restrictions, AOC supports unless she wants to bake a in the free state of Florida.

But true to form, she uses the, it's because I'm a woman defense, tweeting: "It's starting to get old ignoring the very obvious strange and deranged sexual frustrations that underpin the Republican fixation on me, women and LGBT-plus people in general." Well, by her logic, she must really have the hots for Governor DeSantis because she obsessively attacked him on Twitter questioning where he was and pointing out he's been missing for like, two weeks. Someone has a crush. Of course, the ever-stupid Joy Reid joined in tweeting, "A governor not governing during the crisis and sunning his belly on vacation instead. Governor Ron DeSantis is the Nero of Ted Cruzes." And Joy read is the Michael Scott of Homer Simpsons.

If she got any dumber, she'd be Nicole Wallace. Turns out the governor, however, was caring for his sick wife, Casey, who's battling breast cancer. His spokesperson telling Fox News, he accompanied her to cancer treatments, which is so typical of a sexist pig -- assuming his wife needs help for cancer treatment? Emily, so, any criticism of AOC is of sexual origin, why can't any criticism of DeSantis be of sexual origin given that he is a gorgeous man? You said it yourself in the break, he's the most gorgeous Floridian you've ever set your eyes on. And if you could move to Florida, and be with him, your soulmate -- you called him your soulmate.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: You want to steal him from his wife.

GUTFELD: You would steal --

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: No, we are not -- no, no, we are not starting this rumor right now. No, this is not what happened. With all due respect I have for Governor DeSantis and Casey DeSantis, his wife, I did not say that you guys.

MICHAEL LOFTUS, COMEDIAN: Then what was the poem? What was the poem?

COMPAGNO: Whatever. What I think is so tragic.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: Is the fact that this is a city and Congresswoman, and this is someone who from the beginning has begged us to take her seriously.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: When people said, oh, you, you didn't -- you know, maybe you don't have a background that lends itself toward public service. You are a bartender, you're young, you're a neophyte, you're, you're -- anyway, you're inadequate in so many ways. And she assured us no, no, no, I am right, and here's why. And then she goes into something like this.

Absolutely, annihilating any chance of people wanting to take her seriously, because they were actually trying to criticize her on a policy on behavior that belied her hypocrisy, exactly. And instead of saying, look, here's, here's how he feels about her, here's this, then instead she goes that weird, sexual perverted perversion way is so beneath the office of a city in Congress person. And if she had just done her due diligence for two seconds, she would have found out where the governor was.

GUTFELD: Yes, how hard is that?

COMPAGNO: Exactly.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, Douglas, you're a New Yorker here. Are you as offended as I am that she had to fly to Florida to get her Drag Queens? New York City produces, produces the world's best drag performers.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

DOUGLAS MURRAY, AUTHOR AND POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: I got to take your word on that. I don't know. I'm sure they do.

GUTFELD: They do. I'll show you later.

MURRAY: We'll hit the bars after the program.

GUTFELD: You don't have to go to the bar. My stage name is --

COMPAGNO: Gigantic Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

MURRAY: As it happens, I was in Miami same time. I think we went to different party, AOC and me. But there's one thing I'm really confused about, in particular about this tweet, what is this thing of saying, typical of what's used against me, women and LGBTQ people in general?

GUTFELD: Right?

MURRAY: Does anyone know? Is she, is she saying -- is she saying she's part of the ever-growing alphabet people?

GUTFELD: She might be? Or she --

LOFTUS: Because, AOC.

GUTFELD: AOC. LGBT AOC.

LOFTUS: Yes, you know me.

MURRAY: But why is she crow barring herself into that?

GUTFELD: Yes. Protection. Shield. It was her metaphorical shield.

MURRAY: I was baffled by the whole thing. Yes, this sort of you all talk about me because you want to shag me?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: Must be the lamest of all comebacks. I was, as I say in Miami, we didn't cross paths. There were so many reasons why I wouldn't have made an advance on the relevant sitting representative. But no, I mean, it's just pathetic that this is a sitting Congresswoman.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

GUTFELD: You know, Kat, shag is a euphemism for England, for sexual intercourse.

TIMPF: Disgusting.

GUTFELD: It is disgusting. That's why we left the Empire. Because of filthy words like that.

LOFTUS: Yes, that's when we threw all that carpeting into the British harbor.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

LOFTUS: Shag.

GUTFELD: Shag. Kat. So, tell us more about the color orange.

TIMPF: I was right. I love when I, I love when I Google, and I'm like, I knew I knew what I was talking about. And I do.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: Question mark?

TIMPF: Look -- no, I do know what I'm talking about. Look, AOC. I just, when I saw that, I thought about how when Texas lifted its mask mandate. She went nuts, and she said this is going to endanger people.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: So, if she thinks it's that, it really is dangerous, I don't think she'd go there, so she has family there. I think she'd be trying to make it a real priority to get them all out of that dangerous place. Because there's no mask mandate there either. So, that's what drives me crazy because she's here and we're all forced to do the mask mandate --

LOFTUS: And she can leave.

TIMPF: And we're all forced to do all this stuff. And again, this year, I've had two shots, two COVIDs. And I just want to be able to do what I want to do.

GUTFELD: Oh, poor thing.

TIMPF: Yes, it is really hard to be me.

GUTFELD: Yes, it is. It is. I just got PTSD from being around you.

TIMPF: I have heard that before.

GUTFELD: Last word, Loftus.

LOFTUS: AOC is truly the key, the gift that keeps on giving.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: She's given us so much.

GUTFELD: Yes, she is.

LOFTUS: You know, the unemployment rate is so low because everybody has two jobs. That was a great one. We need to invent technology that's never been invented before. That's great. And then this is my favorite of the whole you just want me and you can't have me.

GUTFELD: Right.

LOFTUS: Like the last time that probably -- that's like the ultimate high school girl defense. For her to actually try that in the professional political world is just hilarious.

GUTFELD: By the way, I got to move on, but you just made it -- and it's accidentally made a really good point.

LOFTUS: What?

GUTFELD: If you were to use that in a corporate setting, that would be sexual harassment? If let's say that I called somebody in a meeting and said, look, you haven't been you haven't been doing a good job. You're, you're just saying that because you want to sleep with me? You would lose your job?

LOFTUS: Yes. Yes.

GUTFELD: I mean, seriously.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

LOFTUS: I think -- and it won't work in politics either. I think Franklin Roosevelt tried it on, on December 8th.

GUTFELD: Coming up, will A.I. experiments reach a crescendo when a dish of cells can play Nintendo?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Can electrified brain cells in a cluster win all the games at Dave and Busters? Scientists have taught living human brain cells in a dish how to play the video game, Pong, and many taught dead ones how to write for Jimmy Fallon -- using electric pulses to stimulate the clumps of cells in a virtual game world which sounds better than human brains we experiment on.

Researchers showed that the cells also learn and improve their performance in the game faster than A.I., meaning they taught a clump of brain to beat a computer at Pong. While the study of brain cell clusters and dishes is nothing new, researchers say, Pong playing mini brains are the first to be shown performing goal-oriented tasks, which can overwhelm some of the tinier human brains. So, this is considered a major step towards the creation of synthetic brains. And I have to say, it has -- it can't come soon enough, like scientists making a coronavirus more infectious to human mice hybrids. Why ask what could go wrong, I say?

Emily, people don't understand. OK. So, if those brain cells are working on their own, they are living in a universe that they believe is only their universe, right? Their universe is Pong. So, in that world, they are literally living in a simulation. Which means aren't we living in a Pong world? Somebody else is doing exactly the same thing to us that we are doing to those brain cells. They just proved the simulation works by manipulating brain cells to perform an action, which is what is being done to us right now, Emily?

COMPAGNO: Yes, that's like "The Matrix." That's "The Matrix."

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: We just need Keanu.

GUTFELD: What -- or Keanu?

COMPAGNO: What?

GUTFELD: Or Keanu?

COMPAGNO: No, Keanu. Anyway, here's what's so gnarly about the entire thing, whatever everyone. Here's what's so gnarly: the craziest part is that this brain-like organoid, that's what they call it, which is disgusting.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: That, that -- they that thing, it learns.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: It learns. And so, that means you can put one in a Jurassic Park dinosaur. It is literally like Tony Stark, the guy that he fought, the huge guy with the --

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: Like, basically, you can put a human brain into anything terrifying, and that thing will learn how to take over. So, to your point, yes, this is the most dangerous, most gnarly thing we've ever heard of in our lives. I'm totally for it.

GUTFELD: Missed the points. She misses the point. I'm going to repeat it one more --

COMPAGNO: No, I didn't.

GUTFELD: Yes, you're wrong.

COMPAGNO: We're in "The Matrix", that's your point. I've got it.

GUTFELD: Douglas, it shows that humans can create universal simulations, that's what it's saying.

COMPAGNO: That's what I said.

MURRAY: Yes, I want to get out of it now. Does that -- when you two -- piano teach other a lot. I thought I need to leave the GUTFELD simulation. I did.

COMPAGNO: Why?

MURRAY: You must have felt that?

TIMPF: I feel it all often.

LOFTUS: There's a, there's a group of scientists that believe that this is why we don't find aliens.

GUTFELD: Right.

LOFTUS: Because they're all in their own little micro-universes doing that and like we're now just realizing that's where we are. I feel bad for whoever's grandpa's brain cells were donated to science --

GUTFELD: To play Pong.

LOFTUS: All of a sudden, he's in heaven. I'll send a piece of his ripped away. I'm in a Pong universe. Like that poor guy.

GUTFELD: Yes, you need to --

LOFTUS: Whoever it was. I just listen, if we're in the matrix, I want to be in the first one. I don't want to be in number four. It was sticker.

GUTFELD: Yes, last word?

TIMPF: Yes, I don't know what Pong is because I'm so young. Sorry, it's true. I don't want my technology to have brain because that's the -- that's brains they people judge you.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I don't want my phone to have an opinion.

GUTFELD: Interesting.

TIMPF: On what I do on my phone.

GUTFELD: Well, again, you missed the point too. It's amazing. All right. People at home understand what I mean, right? Wink. Up next, they tell users what they can and can't say but will that finally drive people away?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Are people getting bitter about bans on Facebook and Twitter? Joe Rogan -- who's he? -- announced on Sunday that he had opened an account on Getter, a social media platform committed to free speech explaining that he was doing so just in case (BLEEP) over Twitter gets even dumber. Twitter permanently banned Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green over what it called COVID misinformation.

Last week, that platform banned Virologist Dr. Robert Malone just days before he appeared on Rogan's podcast allegedly over his vaccine hesitancy. Meanwhile, debunked claims from Fauci, the CDC and administration are still posted with thousands of retweets. I'm going to stop there because I'm bored by this topic. Um, Marjorie Taylor Green, Kat, I don't really know she is. Is she related to Jonathan Taylor Thomas?

TIMPF: Yes. Yes.

GUTFELD: OK. Good. Good. Good. OK.

TIMPF: That's, that's my answer.

GUTFELD: All right. The Streisand effect. You're well aware of that, stitch man. The that's when you don't know about somebody until something is made out of them, and then everybody knows who they are, is that what it is?

LOFTUS: Yes. And it's great -- and they're throwing these people off of Twitter. Like the dude they threw off, is -- he, he's spitting facts. He's like one of the inventors of the vaccine.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: And Marjorie Taylor Green, the girl from the sitcom.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: She, she was spitting facts too from like, the federal Web site.

GUTFELD: Yes. But she did, she didn't couch the facts correctly, they claim. She should have had, she should have conditioned it a little Douglas, what's your take on this kind of weird trend?

MURRAY: I don't know. I know that I tried to join Getter today with myself, but I'm not very good with technology. So, I ended up sending out the code on Twitter.

GUTFELD: Everybody did that. Did you see that?

MURRAY: They told me to and then everyone thought I'd been hacked.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: Or that it was my moment like that moment when the president said the word "covfefe" or whatever.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

MURRAY: This was my covfefe moment. I didn't know -- I wanted to announce that I'm on Getter already, but I'm not because of this.

GUTFELD: This -- it was, it was a very weird thing, the whole Getter thing, all these people were jumping to it. It made me feel like it was more like parlor.

COMPAGNO: I stay away from all that stuff, but I think what we should pay attention to and I'll make this fast.

GUTFELD: Please do.

COMPAGNO: Is the approach by Congress. You have House Democrats --

GUTFELD: Right.

COMPAGNO: That are saying that they want to censor more, that the answer is censoring more. They say that the, the free-market regulation failed. And then you have congressmen, like Dan Crenshaw, who have proposed new legislation that essentially amends Section 230 to open, to improve access, prohibit political censorship. And so, people should figure out what their reps are doing and pretty much Dems versus GOP and one is for free speech. One is for lack of censorship, and one is for that control.

GUTFELD: What the hell does this have to do with Jonathan Taylor Thomas? That's how the story was pitched to me.

COMPAGNO: Everything.

TIMPF: He vapes now.

GUTFELD: Oh, he does.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: I bet if we met, we'd probably be good friends.

TIMPF: I'm sure.

GUTFELD: We could hang out?

TIMPF: I'm sure.

LOFTUS: You just, you just have to make sure you're posting facts the way the World Health Organization gets them. Like how long will lockdown last? Pick a color.

COMPAGNO: Orange.

LOFTUS: OK. Dr. Fauci says, it'll last as long as it lasts. There you go. Put that on Twitter and it won't get banned.

GUTFELD: Oh God. Where am I? We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We're out of time. Thanks to Emily Compagno, Douglas Murray, Michael Loftus, Kat Timpf. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America. Welcome back.

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