Gutfeld: It's no surprise when the media hates Trump more than they hate ISIS

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Gutfeld: It's no surprise when the media hates Trump more than they hate ISIS

Greg Gutfeld weighs in on the media coverage of the take down of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," October 2, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GROUP: (Singing "Green New Deal Now, no more turning back.").

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Oh, the sea levels can't rise soon enough.

(Laughter)

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: This week began with a hero dog chasing the hideous leader of ISIS down a tunnel to the fiend's own death. Or as CNN might put it, German Shepherds: How Islamaphobic are they?

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Yes, a hero dog helped corner and capture the terrorist, trapping him in a hole who then killed himself and his own kids, or as "Newsweek" might describe it, "Dog without leash harms family on weekend hike."

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: You probably couldn't find a better end for a madman rapist or The "Washington Post" called him, "An austere religious scholar." Yes, like this monster was a thoughtful bookworm who spent rainy days petting a fluffy cat listening to James Taylor.

"The Post" did take it down, but not because they were wrong, it was because they got caught. But it's no surprise. When the media hates Trump more than they hate ISIS, not because of the President but in spite of him.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Not because of the President, but in spite of him.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Perhaps in spite of the President.

CHUCK TODD, MSNBC HOST: In spite of President Trump.

ERIN BURNETT, CNN HOST: Despite the President's quote, "ineptitude."

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN HOST: Largely, in spite of --

LAWRENCE O'DONNELL, MSNBC HOST: Largely in spite of --

CUOMO: And not because of --

O'DONNELL: And not because of Donald Trump.

JOE BIDEN (D), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Things get pulled off I think in spite of his actions.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Thanks, Joe. If it were up to you, bin Laden would still be banging goats in the Kush Mountains.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: But even the -- even the hero dog drives him nuts. Wednesday after the President tweeted an obviously fake image of him placing the Medal of Honor on the heroic hound, the fearless media sprinted into action to prove that yes, this was fake.

Because like that's not obvious to anyone who hasn't fallen out of a building and landed on their head. Reporter Steve Herman tweeted, "I've requested details on this photo. There was no such canine event on today's schedule."

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Nailed it, Steve. I think you cracked this case wide open.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: He is a regular Hardy Boy. Then "The New York Times" solemnly added, "Yes, this photo was indeed altered." Nicely done, "Times." So tell me, is this one altered, too?

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: How about this one?

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Or this one?

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Fun fact, they're all real.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: And of course there was this short missive tweeted from Jim Acosta, "A White House official said the dog is not at the White House."

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: But wait, weren't you there, Jim?

[Booing]

GUTFELD: But sensing they were fast becoming Town Square fools, once again, the media switch gears saying the image was disrespectful to the person who was Photoshopped. But James McCloughan -- that very guy laughed and said Trump was just noting the dog's heroism.

Of course, James never would have seen the image at all if the reporters hadn't run to him, the little finks that they are. Anyway, we salute the dog. But I'm sure --

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: You can clap. Clap for the damn dog. All right. It's not that great. But I'm sure there's someone over at BuzzFeed right now combing through the mutt's old tweets, looking for an ancient posts that might cause serious embarrassment.

Oh wait, my producers tell me that it's already happened. Yes, damaging tweets by the dog have been unearthed and I believe we have a few here.

Here's the first one. "Lassie could hump my leg anytime."

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: "Garfield should be made into a hat. Stupid, fat, dumb cat. Die already."

What's the other one? "Spoiler alert. Old Yeller gets rabies and they shoot her. Good riddance. LOL."

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: That's terrible --no one should LOL about rabies. By the way, CNN, those are all made up, okay? So the media has now become the meme police, tracking down jokes that are obvious to all of us, but them. Too bad they can't be bothered with actual stories, you know, whether it's the true origins of the Steele dossier or the political bias of a whistleblower, right Adam?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now, Adam Schiff gets a haircut.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Okay, what are we thinking?

TOM SHILLUE, FOX NATION HOST: Make me look like this.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's pretty similar. When was the last time you got a haircut?

SHILLUE: This morning. Is that a problem? You know, your hair grows faster when you don't blink. I can make it grow. Watch. See?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I smell an Emmy. Fact is, the media has a big problem because good news about America coincides with good news about Trump, which can't be good for them. With each passing achievement, their sense of humor deteriorates, but it's not like they had one to begin with. Right, Adam?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now, Adam Schiff interviews a new assistant.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: As you could see, I think my resume speaks for itself.

SHILLUE: It certainly does. You have zero experience. Ah, impressive.

You're hired.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Awesome. Thanks, Mr. Schiff.

SHILLUE: Too much confidence makes me nervous. You're fired.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: But I don't understand.

SHILLUE: No one does. Now, excuse me, I'm watching television. It's Dr. Drew.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Maybe the media needs a rest. Every time something good happens, they feel pretty bad. Maybe Trump shouldn't be so effective just to get the media a break.

I mean, you think killing the head of ISIS would prompt a unified, purely American response, something akin to joy? But in a world where everything seems tainted with the bitter humiliation of 2016, there is no joy in mudville. Instead there is only mud to sling and if you can't find any mud, you've got to make up some on your own. Right, Mr. Schiff.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now, Adam Schiff plays rock, paper, scissors for the first time.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, last slice. You want to rock, paper, scissors for it?

SHILLUE: I've been waiting for this my whole life.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's going to be -- rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

SHILLUE: All three. Got you.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Take it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. Got an infection, need some injection? It's the host of the radio show "Dr. Drew Midday Live," Dr. Drew Pinsky.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: His wit is so dry he never needs any, writer and comedian, David Angelo.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: She never holds back and loves to wisecrack. Host of "Sincerely, Kat" on Fox Nation, Katherine Timpf.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: He caused Osama lots of trauma, in for Tyrus who is filming a movie, former Navy SEAL who killed bin Laden, I already said that, Rob O'Neill.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: So, Rob, you're in for the big man and you have some kind of connection to this day block. Are you worried that this dog will get a swollen head and want a TV career?

ROB O'NEILL, FORMER NAVY SEAL: I can't wait to read the dog's book, I'm serious. Because eventually, he is going to ride it. The thing about The "Washington Post" because I'm waiting for the headline that says Adolf Hitler, co-founder of Volkswagen would be 120 years old today.

GUTFELD: That's true.

O'NEILL: I think it is more insulting than calling Baghdadi an austere Islamic scholars is calling The "Washington Post" a national newspaper.

It's a shame that it has come this far that we hate the President so much.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: Calling him an austere Islamic scholar should be an insult to Muslims everywhere.

GUTFELD: That's true.

O'NEILL: Because this guy is a terrorist. We should agree that someone who burns people alive in cages, who rapes and murders, who drowns people, like who roast people, stuff like that. This is a terrorist.

GUTFELD: How can you be so judgmental?

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NATION HOST: Yes.

GUTFELD: Is this how far we've gone?

DREW PINSKY, RADIO SHOW HOST: He is Islamophobic, I think.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINKSY: Give him a safe space.

TIMPF: Because -- keep your bigotry to yourself.

GUTFELD: Yes. It is making me sick to my stomach. Hey, Dr. Drew, I came up with a new illness. You know what anhedonia is?

PINKSY: Anhedonia, absolutely.

GUTFELD: That is an inability to feel pleasure, right?

PINSKY: Yes, you painted the picture of the press and --

GUTFELD: They have Trump anhedonia.

PINKSY: They seem to have Trump anhedonia. Not to be confused with the Trump derangement syndrome.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's different.

PINSKY: It's a little different. It's the inability to see anything joyous or positive in anything.

GUTFELD: Right?

PINSKY: Like they say Woody Allen has anhedonia.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINSKY: But I think --

GUTFELD: He has other thing, too.

PINKSY: Well, I think you've sort of flipped into psychotic depression though here.

GUTFELD: Yes, Yes. Yes.

PINSKY: I mean, there's some delusional stuff going on, too. But anhedonia, you got it. I think you're right.

GUTFELD: Yes. How do you feel about the dog? You feel pretty good about it?

PINSKY: I do.

GUTFELD: Isn't it great? It's a hero dog.

PINSKY: It is a hero dog. I feel great about it. But if the White House doesn't adopt the dog --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINSKY: It's what he needs to do.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINSKY: You, sir, should adopt the dog. You've got room for him.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. You know, I said that on "The Five" and I -- okay, the best thing about this is he is going to have the dog come to the White House, and you know, he's going to put a medal on the dog, and it's going to try -- they are going to go, oh, my God, the meme fulfilled itself.

Build a meme, and it will come, David, what are your thoughts on this glorious week?

DAVID ANGELO, WRITER AND COMEDIAN: It's been a wild week. It has been -- the media, again, they're outdoing themselves.

GUTFELD: Yes.

ANGELO: Although, I have to respect that they are probably upset, you know, we killed Baghdadi, right? When he got his MSNBC contributor contract.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: So they lost one of their best -- they are shorthanded this week.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: What can you do?

GUTFELD: I know. Do you have another one?

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Almost like -- I always see you thinking that you might have another joke loaded in the chamber that you're ready to shoot out, but maybe not.

ANGELO: Well, now that the stakes couldn't be higher for me to have a joke.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: I mean, it's funny, the dog thing is funny though, because it's like, it's so obviously a Photoshop. There's one photo of the dog out there. And then, the photo with Trump, it's the same exact dog and the people in "The New York Times" are like that we need to get our best guys.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: Is Woodward and Bernstein still working? Get them on this case here.

GUTFELD: It's K-9 gate, Kat?

O'NEILL: I have an idea. I have an idea to save time. When we get a picture of the dog at the White House, maybe we can Photoshop in the Golden State Warriors and the women's soccer team.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Nice. All right, Kat.

O'NEILL: I'm just saving the dead air there. That's all I'm doing.

GUTFELD: Always beautiful.

O'NEILL: Thank you.

GUTFELD: Kat, last word, to you. Thoughts on the dog? Thoughts on the week? Thoughts on America?

TIMPF: Yes, I mean, I used to really push back against people who compared Trump to Hitler.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Then I saw he posted a meme that made it look like the dog was in a place where the dog wasn't.

GUTFELD: Yes, I know.

TIMPF: And like, do you even know how dangerous that is? We still don't know how many children died. Like and I'm obviously joking, but the thing is, the people who made a big deal out of this clearly Photoshopped photo, are the same people who do say that Trump is dangerous.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: And it's like, okay, if posting a clearly Photoshopped picture was a high crime and misdemeanor, there'd be a lot of Instagram models out there in a lot of trouble, okay.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: That's true.

TIMPF: That's for one thing. It just makes no sense to me. Because if I really thought that somebody was a horrendous monster, then I'd probably not be spending my time and resources going after their memes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I would think that there were bigger things to deal with. So their words say Trump is so dangerous. Their words say, oh, everyone's going to die. But their actions show that they can't really actually believe that because they would have other things to focus on than a clearly Photoshopped photo of a dog.

GUTFELD: Yes. Although I will say this. Well done.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: We're still not sure about that dog's past. I bet -- I bet -- it's a she, right?

PINSKY: It's a she.

GUTFELD: I bet she urinated in public a number of times.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: One last point before we move on, if this raid had been a failure, the story would have been blasted on the networks all year.

O'NEILL: Oh, yes.

GUTFELD: So think about that. Think about the other side what they would have done. All right, up next. Guess who is calling out the politically correct crackpots. We didn't see this coming.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Being woke is a stupid joke. That's what former President and noted community organizer Barack Hussein Obama said when he was in Chicago this week at a Summit for the Obama Foundation, a foundation named after Barack Hussein Obama. There he called out those who think of themselves as being woke, you know, the super judgmental, annoying types who accuse others of oppression and injustice.

He also crapped on cancel culture -- that form of punitive boycott intended to ruin people over an unpopular opinion. Go.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARACK OBAMA, FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: this idea of purity and you're never compromised and you're always politically woke and all that stuff. You should get over that quickly.

Like if I tweet or hashtag about how you didn't do something right or used the word -- wrong verb or -- then I can sit back and feel pretty good about myself because man, you see how woke I was, I called you out.

You know, that's not -- that's not activism, that's not bringing about change.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Now, he is in the alt-right.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: It is nice to hear him say what we've all been saying for years.

Obviously, he has been watching my show. He is now part of the family.

All right, but know this, Barack, once you criticize the woke, they will come for you. Reminds me of the time that evil goose came for my Uncle Chet.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: You know, now they're married. So it was a happy ending for everybody. Dr. Drew.

PINSKY: Birds are evil. Birds are evil.

GUTFELD: Birds are evil. They are starting the bird flu.

PINSKY: And that was bad, too.

GUTFELD: Yes, I love what I heard. I know that he said something like this before, but if he had said this much sooner and in a much stronger way, there's a possibility Trump might not have been President because Trump ran as being anti-PC. And if Obama had like, stripped the PC out of his party that might have changed things.

PINSKY: You're absolutely correct. I think that's true and people were getting so sick of that. That was one of the things I really thought that caused the phenomenon of Donald Trump.

I used to fill my studio with Trump supporters go, what is it? What is it that you guys are saying here? And they would pretty much say the same thing which is they wanted somebody to come in and break some dishes because they were so tired of being judged.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINSKY: And I'm -- I know you're happy with this. I'm delighted to see him saying this.

GUTFELD: Yes, I just wish -- you know --

PINSKY: Too little too late maybe, but look, it is welcoming.

GUTFELD: I also liked the fact that the audience there laughed which makes me think that like if they booed, that would have been bad.

PINSKY: Not necessarily.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINSKY: By the way, because that might have made him double down and really come on. He is taking on the mob.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINSKY: This is mob behavior. He shouldn't be happy with it. We are not happy with it. It's not okay.

GUTFELD: Yes, so David how soon before he is canceled?

ANGELO: Well, that's it, you can't cancel him. That's the thing. He is like the ultimate figure though.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

ANGELO: He is totally untouchable which must be driving the woke crowd so like crazy right now because they're watching that clip and just -- you know, they can't do anything.

GUTFELD: Yes.

ANGELO: They're just going to dye their hair blue twice tonight.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: And they will take their frustration some other way.

GUTFELD: You know, Kat, there is -- I think that because in the woke culture things move so fast that he already is like out of -- he is not woke. There's no -- like they look at him, they go, now, he is one of them. He is a right winger.

TIMPF: He is a white supremacist.

GUTFELD: Yes, he is a white supremacist.

TIMPF: Yes.

(Laughter)

TIMPF: You know, listen, I'm glad that he said this.

GUTFELD: He is half white, so half white supremacist.

TIMPF: Yes, still half. I'm glad you said this, because I don't like that these social justice activists are actually able to call themselves, you know, people who are advocating for justice of any kind. They're not.

They're bullies who try to take other people down to try to make themselves look smart in front of their other bully friends.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: Like, what are you doing to better the world? Like, oh, you shamed someone for coming into a room and saying, hey, guys, you didn't cure cancer, Bryce. Like you can calm down. But they act like they did and they act like they're better than everyone else. And that's what it's really about it.

I just don't understand how it ever became branded as, you know, being any sort of altruistic thing to pick at other people, instead of offering anything good into the world.

GUTFELD: You chose -- is Bryce a specific person?

TIMPF: He knows what he did.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: He knows what he did. Rob, does this change your opinion of the man who commanded you to kill?

O'NEILL: I love what he said and speaking of the commander who commanded me to kill, I am talking about Twitter warriors, I get hate from the right, because they hate Obama so much. They call me a fake because he ordered the mission.

But this is proof though, because I love what Barack Obama said today because he sees what is happening with the Democratic Party. They're going so far left, they want to hand everything out.

And he sees that they are that far left. He ran on hope and change and now, he has proof right now that the problem is not the person who is in the White House for eight years, it is the person who is in the Capitol for 45 years.

GUTFELD: Right.

O'NEILL: That's the problem right here. And so he is running all of a sudden like --

(Laughter)

O'NEILL: Like, first of all term limits --

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: You know, this is ridiculous what's going on right now, but I mean, President Obama is turning into the alt right, like we might be on to something. I'm I might need to start smoking what Bryce is smoking.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Yes. What's amazing too, is no major network. I mean, Fox News exception. ABC, CBS, NBC did not even run these comments.

PINSKY: Really?

GUTFELD: Yes, they didn't, according to the MRC, which I don't know what that stands for, the Media Research Center. But yes, they didn't run it because apparently they didn't feel it was important.

PINSKY: You should invite him on your show.

GUTFELD: You know what --

O'NEILL: They don't get the big chair.

PINSKY: To express himself. Why not?

GUTFELD: I'll talk to him when I get home.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: If he is still up. He is early to bed. He is early to bed and then he wakes and bakes. I don't even know what I'm saying.

PINSKY: I hear you.

GUTFELD: Up next, millennials embracing communism. I guess that beats Maroon 5.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

AISHAH HASNIE, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Aishah Hasnie. President Trump is in New York City for the night. The President is attending the Ultimate Fighting Championship tonight at Madison Square Garden.

Before leaving Washington, the President was asked if he'll block White House officials from testifying next week at the Impeachment Inquiry. He said they would have to ask the lawyers and then he said this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP (R), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: The Republicans have never been this unified. I'm at the highest level I've ever been at but the Republicans have never been this unified in this whole impeachment scam. That's exactly what it is. It's a scam. It's a hoax. The Democrats are using it for political purposes to try and win an election that they're not going win.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HASNIE: The President returns to Washington tomorrow. I'm Aishah Hasnie, now back to THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW.

GUTFELD: Millions are dead, yet they still see red. A new survey finds that 70 percent of American millennials are likely to vote socialist, and a third of them view communism favorably. Probably Bryce.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: The two systems of government that killed millions are the ones our youngest voters think are awesome. Why? It got me. I guess you could blame "The New York Times" and the way they worship the day Karl Marx was born. But that's easy. Maybe it's on us.

The Berlin Wall fell 30 years ago almost to the day November 9th, when the youth of 1989 grabbed their chisels and started chopping away. Now, it's not the millennials fault. They weren't born yet to witness it. It's a fault for not teaching them about it and what that moment meant, an end to the Soviet socialist bloc. No more Cold War, freedom for millions in Eastern Europe who all became David Hasselhoff fans somehow. There's always a downside to this stuff.

Anyway, the point is, there's going to be a hell of a party at the Brandenburg Gate next week to celebrate freedom and the day socialism died, because socialism isn't awesome, dear millennials, but you know, what it is? This.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Show us who you really are? It's Dr. Drew.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Only in America. Maybe we should have communism. My God, Kat.

You are a millennial, although we don't know for sure.

TIMPF: Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm 40. Blah, blah, blah, ha, ha, ha.

Okay, go ahead.

GUTFELD: Yes, but you're not a socialist. So how did you escape the clutches?

TIMPF: I just don't get how anyone could be. I've never looked at the government. But like, you know what? I want them making all my choices.

I've never looked at the money that I've made for myself and I've been like, I don't think I know how to spend this the best.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I think some stranger in D.C. should do that for me. I have a lot of nuanced views on a lot of different things.

GUTFELD: Really?

TIMPF: But if somebody comes up to me, and he is like, hey, we would like to take all of your money so that we can use it to implement a system that has never worked and that will end up at best with you having to wait in line for toilet paper and at worst, killing you. That's going to be a hard no.

(Laughter)

TIMPF: You say that it is the fault of the previous generation for not teaching us, but it's not. We have the internet. Okay.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Google.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Google it. You know, do a little research because this is a serious, dangerous thing. You have to get educated.

PINSKY: You don't have resentment. I feel like there's a lot of resentment in millennials. And this is a way of sort of acting out the resentment. You know what I'm saying?

TIMPF: I have resentment, but I've like solved it in other ways.

PINSKY: That's all your boyfriends, you're resentful of the old boyfriends. I understand that. I know you've got some notes for the teen moms and stuff.

TIMPF: Yes, I do.

PINSKY: But resentment against the man, against people that make more money than you, you don't have that. And it feels like this is some sort of frustration that they're acting out and they're all rearing on this -- at the utter of the post-structuralist world where there are no facts.

They don't read the Gulag archipelagos.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINSKY: They are not exposed to these things, so there's no history.

There's no facts. Let's just spread the money.

GUTFELD: They're going to Soviet you.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Sometimes I should just stay here by myself and do the show on my own.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Kidding, I'm joking. I love these people.

TIMPF: Nothing like being appreciated.

GUTFELD: I was joking. So David, does this poll worry you about 2020 at all? About the election?

ANGELO: Well, because everyone likes communism.

GUTFELD: Yes.

ANGELO: A little bit. But I think people -- I don't know, I think the majority of the country understands that that's not the right way to go.

GUTFELD: Right.

ANGELO: But it always blows my mind though, because it's like you have Bernie Sanders here in New York and he has got 25,000 people.

GUTFELD: Yes.

ANGELO: And New Yorkers are always like, they pride themselves on how like street smart and savvy they are. And then, you know, you can't you can't put one over on us. And then Bernie Sanders is like, okay, we're going to have free healthcare. I'm going to pay all your bills. And they're like, we love it. Can you sell us this bridge? What more can you give us, Bernie? He is just going full infomercial.

GUTFELD: No, it's true because the people that embrace Bernie Sanders also see themselves as intellectuals, and they are completely blind to common sense, Rob. Shouldn't we just let them have it?

O'NEILL: The commonsense is this. Today, they've said Elizabeth Warren's thing would cost $52 trillion. Now, I put myself in Navy terms and I tell my sailors this. Here's how much one trillion is, if you went to a gentleman's club and made it rain $1.00 every second, it would take you 31,688 years to get a trillion and that's an old ass stripper.

(Laughter)

O'NEILL: That's one trillion.

GUTFELD: You know, if you were a math teacher --

TIMPF: Not that there's anything wrong with that?

GUTFELD: If you were a Math teacher, Rob, I have a feeling you'd have a lot of happy students. You put it in the kind of language that everybody would understand or complain about.

O'NEILL: But the way that I put it is I dealt with the VA for healthcare and if you want to talk about government run healthcare, describe to me your best day at the DMV.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: That's government run anything.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

ANGELO: I don't need socialized medicine either. I had Drew give me a full checkup back stage.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: That was after Greg though.

PINSKY: I still have your boxers.

ANGELO: I'm good for six months.

GUTFELD: I take that he recycles the gloves.

O'NEILL: All you've got to do is turn them inside out. I just tastes a little different.

PINSKY: Wow.

GUTFELD: Keeping that in. I don't care what anybody says. All right up next, how much do Americans spend on their pet's costumes? Well, it's still Halloween somewhere. So this matters.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: The economy must really be good if your cat is dressed like Red Riding Hood. That is sexy and disgusting.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: The National Retail Federation or NRF says Americans spend a half billion dollars on Halloween costumes for their pets, which is more than double what I spend on leather.

In other words, Americans have enough disposable income to drop 25 bucks on a costume that frankly your animal hates. Deep down you know they hate it.

I mean, look at these poor things. Look at that. Case Closed.

You've got the money, so who cares? This should be a key economic indicator, shouldn't it? Like the Dow Industrials. How about the crap our pets don't need, but we bought any way index? Bottom line, the only pet whoever like his Halloween costume was my dog Chuck, because he's a serial killer, right Chuck?

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Oh, my God, sometimes -- sometimes, Dave, the world just gives you wonderful things.

ANGELO: True.

GUTFELD: Do you have any pets? Do you dress them up?

ANGELO: Yes, I did. I dressed my dog up as a journalist actually. I put a little Hillary t-shirt on and a paper bag over his head.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Very good, very good. Rob. Do you have a pet?

O'NEILL: I do not have any pets. No, but I did dress for Halloween as a socialist, which means I sat on my fat ass, yelled at Twitter, and wherever else was gone, I stole their candy.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Kat, you actually have a cat?

TIMPF: I sure do.

GUTFELD: You have any pictures?

TIMPF: I do have pictures, but nobody asks me for them. I have many pictures.

GUTFELD: Oh, well, I thought --

TIMPF: It's all that I do.

GUTFELD: Oh, I'm surprised you didn't have a picture now.

TIMPF: I mean, I've got so many pictures.

GUTFELD: You dress up your cat.

TIMPF: Okay, listen, he hates costumes. But I would be lying if I said I had not put a top hat on him as recently as a few weeks ago. And also if I said I didn't have a full Uncle Sam costume and a lion's mane that I needed.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Because I had to put it on and when I had to make a video swinging him back and forth to "We are the Champions."

(Laughter)

TIMPF: It's all very normal. Listen, he hates it. When I put the top hat on him, he actually went up like the little rung under the table and was trying to rip it off of his head. He was so miserable. But I do not feel bad because I live by a certain set of rules.

GUTFELD: What?

TIMPF: One of them is if I've ever had to clean up your vomit, I get to put whatever I want on your head. That is true of my cat. That's also true of ex best friend from college.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: We do not -- we do not talk anymore. She is now married with kids.

However, if I ever randomly show up at your house with a fedora, you still owe me.

GUTFELD: Yes. That's a good rule. So if you've ever had to clean up somebody's vomit, you could --

TIMPF: You get to put a hat on.

GUTFELD: So that means, Kilmeade? Dogs? I guess the whole morning FNC.

A lot of vomit coming out of that end. Dr. Drew --

PINSKY: Half a billion dollars -- this were we can get some of the healthcare expenses.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

PINSKY: Right there.

TIMPF: What else was I supposed to put on -- the "We are the Champions" video would not have been the same without the lion mane.

GUTFELD: I have an idea. Okay, so this is how absurd Halloween has become, Doctor.

PINSKY: Yes.

GUTFELD: First, it was for the kids then it was for the lawn, then it moved to adults. Now, it's the pets. It's like what is the next step and I was thinking costumes for convicts, right? So the prisoners on Halloween get to dress up and they can trick or treat other cells. The only difference is, they're happy when they get razor blades.

(Laughter)

PINSKY: Oh. Yes, sharp instruments. Yes, good point.

GUTFELD: Thank you. Came up with that one on the --

PINSKY: But fact that we treat animals as humans. They're more dignified than that until I watched that video you played, then I've completely turned around. I'm all into it.

GUTFELD: But it's good. This is what -- this is what America is about.

This is an economic indicator.

PINSKY: I totally agree with you. It absolutely must be.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PINSKY: It has to be we have too much excess income, right now.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. We need a socialist to correct our economy so we aren't spending money on little pets' outfit. That's -- look at that Captain Crunch. That is not a costume.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: These dogs have no idea what's going on. By the way, where's the consent? Where's the consent?

TIMPF: The gold rule of vomit, Greg. Come on. I didn't make it up.

GUTFELD: But you know what, this is species appropriation. Animals dressing up as humans. It's perverse. What if you mistakenly think it's a human and one thing leads to another? Can that work in a court of law?

O'NEILL: I don't know. You haven't lived until you've had to bowled a dog.

GUTFELD: I don't even know what that means.

O'NEILL: He was dressed as Captain Crunch.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Oh, I get it now.

O'NEILL: This isn't working.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: All right, coming up, is Netflix ruining the planet? Sure. Why not?

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: A streaming service makes them nervous. Climate scientists say the energy output from the servers of streaming platforms like Netflix and Hulu are boosting global carbon emissions and harming the environment. 4K TVs consume about 30 percent more energy than previous generations who had 8K sets are just around the corner.

They say demand for that higher res video with larger screens is making it all worse. Boohoo. This after being told that streaming online porn produces as much CO2 as Belgium.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: That's a lot of emissions.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: It's a science term. I didn't come up with that. Climate activists suggest people dial back their streaming habits and demand more renewable energy from internet companies. Well, I'm sold, but good luck getting this fella to stop binge watching "The Masked Singer."

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Dr. Drew, do you binge watch any shows? Will this affect change through your habits?

PINSKY: It will not change my habits but it does drive me crazy that I'm very concerned about the CO2 emissions and if you're actually concerned, particularly in the State of California where we are essentially interested in attacking people who like to drive vehicles. That seems to be their primary goal. Because if we were actually we're concerned, we would be interested in forestry management.

The wildfires you hear about every day, they are putting more CO2 in the environment than almost anything else in the state. That's they are missing that, not being interested in fourth generation nuclear to deal with your screens, and CO2 scrubbing technologies.

If you're not interested in these things, you are being dishonest. You're not actually interested in reducing CO2. You're interested in me not driving my car which is a very different priority.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: The thing is, you know, what I love about this story, Rob, is that the celebrities who applaud the environmental extremist who block trains and traffic, keeping people from their jobs, so they're now going to be turned on. The people at the highways of Hollywood and Belair, Beverly Hills and Silicon Valley. They're the people that are the villains now.

They can't be -- they can't sit there and applaud climate change, they are the ones behind it.

O'NEILL: Yes, because streaming Netflix in your house and all of a sudden we can't watch. They are the ones making the movies, right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: My suggestion is, just turn off your phone, turn off your social media, learn how to do something -- a survival skill. Try to learn how to make a fire without using a lighter. Learn how to hunt. Learn how to navigate without your GPS.

TIMPF: Eh.

O'NEILL: I am just saying. I mean, we're always complaining about the technology from the people who live in a place like New York City. Look where I grew up Montana.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: Look at the smog here compared to there. Maybe where the -- they've reintroduced the wolf to Yellowstone Park is a travesty. Let's reintroduce the wolf to Central Park.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: See how that feels.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: I don't know what that means.

O'NEILL: It means, let's be smart about being stupid.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: That's pretty much it.

PINSKY: I think Rob is just better than us.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: Kind of what I was getting at.

ANGELO: When you're in Central Park, you know, if you hear something in the bushes, you hope it's a wolf.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: You hope it is a wolf.

GUTFELD: David, I love the fact that the loudest backers of this punitive activism are now the villains. That just makes me thrilled.

ANGELO: Right. I know and it checks out to me, too because it's like, I knew "Stranger Things" was a bad show, but it's also killing the planet.

Okay, cool.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: The thing this study doesn't take into account though is what people do when they're not watching Netflix.

GUTFELD: Right.

PINSKY: You mean, you're watching porn? You mean?

O'NEILL: Yes. Yes.

ANGELO: No.

O'NEILL: No, I mean, I'm just saying.

ANGELO: Yes, it works for the environment. I just drive a diesel truck up and down the street.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know that's a good point.

ANGELO: You'd rather have me on Netflix.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's it right. It's like Netflix keeps you from driving your truck all around the neighborhood.

ANGELO: Yes, right.

GUTFELD: Running over those kids from "Stranger Things," the most overrated show in the history of television, I might add.

PINSKY: The second season.

GUTFELD: The second season. Well, I didn't even like the first season.

Goofy, stupid kids making me sick, Kat. They're a problem.

TIMPF: Yes, I'm not going to about ready to agree with you that kids are bad.

(Laughter)

ANGELO: I am, Greg.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

TIMPF: Okay.

GUTFELD: You're going to be invited back.

TIMPF: I'm excited to take over the show next week.

(Laughter)

TIMPF: Honestly, I just want these people who put these studies say that - - like, I just want to know, what am I supposed to do for fun? Like I can't get in the car and go do something.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I can't sit home and watch shows. Am I just supposed to like sit at home and stare at the floor eating leaves? Like I don't know. Like, I don't want to do that. Like nothing against my floor. It's never been mean to me, but it never -- it's like, it doesn't have much to say.

GUTFELD: You've thrown up on it.

TIMPF: No, never on the floor, like not since a child cat does. Okay, not Kat, the cat.

(Laughter)

TIMPF: And then the leaves thing is a problem, too, because I'm like not a Brontosaurus. So, but the thing is, that sounds ridiculous. But with the liberal mindset, the only solution any problem is government regulation.

But the truth is if we want to solve these problems with emissions, we need less government regulation, not more. Because in order to make these changes, it's only going to be possible through the kind of innovation that could only occur through capitalism.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: And on that note. Speaking of capitalism. We're going to have some commercials, but you better not leave because we're having kind of a new and exciting segment, next. Yes, don't go to bed.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: So I may have made a mistake. I just found out that animals aren't always great. Sometimes -- yes, yes. Sometimes they're jerks.

Roll it, Doris.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Animals are jerks. Animals are jerks. Animals are jerks.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Greg, you make me bloody sick, mate. Every time you open your mouth, I feel the urge to knock something onto the floor. This is me during your monologue. This is me when you introduce those awful guests. Dr. Drew. David Angelo. Kat Timpf, Rob O'Neill.

And this is me when I realize you'll be on the same time next week.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Animals are jerks. Animals are jerks. Animals are jerks.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: I think we learned nothing from him? Thank you Dr. Drew, David Angelo, Kat Timpf, Rob O'Neill. And our lovely, amazing studio audience.

I'm Greg Gutfeld, and I love you, America.

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