'Gutfeld!' on Don Lemon, Elon Musk

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Don Lemon is the dumbest man in America: 'Gutfeld!'

Greg Gutfeld slams the host over commentary and asks, 'What the hell is going on at CNN?'

This is a rush transcript from, "Gutfeld!", December 13, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

LAURA INGRAHAM, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Please support the victims of this terrible disaster by donating to the team Western Kentucky tornado relief fund. The Web site is listed below. Pray for these people. I'm Laura Ingraham.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: It's Monday, everyone. Which means it's time for?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And now, Gutfeld presents the dumbest man in America.

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ANCHOR: Crime is rising.

DON LEMON, CNN ANCHOR: Crime is rising.

CUOMO: Defund the police.

LEMON: Oh my gosh, it's so bad. We went out and had a great dinner in New York City tonight. The President is a racist, and he is a demagogue.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So over the past six months, Americans have seen the largest increase in traffic deaths since we began tracking them 40 years ago, back when Kat was only five. Here's how the Lemonhead sees it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

LEMON: Thirty-eight thousand six hundred eighty deaths on U.S. roads last year, the most fatality since 2007. And that's even with pandemic precautions drastically reducing the number of drivers on the road. So what gives? Well, some experts are saying that this is due to an overall lack of civility in our society, a lack of civility that we've seen in school board meetings over mask mandates and on airplanes.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Which again raises the question, did Don Lemon get any oxygen at birth? Where was he born? On the moon? Yes, some experts are blaming lack of civility. The kind of incivility you see at school board meetings are over mask. I wonder who he could be talking about? Yes, all those car accidents must be caused by angry parents or conservatives upset over attacks on their civil liberties.

That's a biggest stretch since Dana Perino tried to open a car door. But thank God for some experts and their mysterious data. That evidence is harder to find that a CNN viewer. So I guess the traffic fatalities couldn't have anything to do with the reduction of police on the streets or less enforcement of traffic infractions. I mean, just thinking that would make you as racist as those guys who beat up Jussie Smollett.

Look, I was someone who drove during the pandemic. Actually, I was being driven. And I got to say Kilmeade looks great from behind. But one thing was obvious. There were fewer cars on the road. And like Brian Stelter with an unsupervised half gallon of mint chocolate chip, people on the road took advantage of it. It had zilch to do with civility and everything to do with opportunity.

Traffic laws became polite suggestions, but expecting Lemon to understand incentives and disincentives is like expecting Tyrus to fit into my leather chaps. It's not happening without a lot of olive oil.

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I don't let that happening.

GUTFELD: I know. I can dream.

TYRUS: I don't care what she says.

GUTFELD: Yes. But it's funny watching professors stupid admitting there's a crime wave after a year or so of denying the same crime wave.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

LEMON: There's three more weeks until 2021 comes to a close but it's already going down as a year with a soaring number of homicides all across the country. The murder rate in some cities breaking records. Experts say that stress from the COVID pandemic definitely playing a role here. But the major factor? Guns.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Kat drunk dialing makes less wrong calls. Yes, it's the pandemic causing the crime because when you're forced to wear a mask, you might as well rob somebody at gunpoint, right? And yes, it's the guns behind the violence because the pandemic has been able to cause guns to get up on their tiny little gun feet and pull their own triggers with their tiny little gun hands. I call it the Alec Baldwin effect.

Sorry. As red state points out no changes to gun laws occurred during this timeframe. And the overwhelming majority of gun crimes are committed with illegally obtained weapons. So the real reason for the crime wave rests on the shoulders of jackasses like Lemon. He like his putrid peers in the media played down the crime wave as it emerged and even made fun of the people who were sounding the alarm, which allowed the wave to grow unfettered.

So do we really have to play that tape again, Greg? Yes, we really have to play that tape again. Greg.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CUOMO: Democratic cities are in chaos right now. Is this what you want from Joe Biden and they're going to take your country away and they're taking down the statues and --

(CROSSTALK)

LEMON: Crime is rising. You defund police.

CUOMO: Oh my gosh. It's so bad.

LEMON: You listen to conservative media, you would think that, you know, entire cities are just, you know, in brawled in fights and fires and whatever. We went out and had a great dinner in New York City tonight. People actually walked up to us and said thank you for -- I watch you every night.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Well, like the Olsen twins, that hasn't aged well. By the way what the hell is going on over at CNN? First you got that Toobin guy then you got Cuomo. Now Cuomo's producer gets arrested for allegedly trying to seduce children. Have you seen that story? It's a sick (BLEEP) they're going to have to change their slogan to the most busted name in news. The roster has more deviants than Jeffrey Epstein's black book.

Anyway, I tell Chris Wallace that maybe this is not the best time to go to CNN. Sorry. It's like being on the Patriots and asking to be traded to the Jets. But apparently he's going to their streaming platform. Let's hope streaming means what I think it means. You never know over at CNN. And what a surprise. Instead of doing a segment of the -- on the legend pedophile in their midst CNN's fabricating fart pillow uses Wallace to deflect.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRIAN STELTER, CNN ANCHOR: Chris Wallace is one of the, you know, the journalists that is at Fox who stands out like a sore thumb because the network has become more and more radicalized both in the Trump years and now in the Biden years.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wallace sticks out like a sore thumb. That's an unoriginal metaphor, Captain Jowls. It's been used more times than your waffle iron. You should have said Chris Wallace sticks out like my belly when I do my bathrobe after dinner. And Fox is radicalized. Only weightwatchers could radicalize you, Brian. The corpulent Crump sucker also seemed to avoid Chris Cuomo scheme to smear our very own Janice Dean.

Allegedly calling her that Fox weather bitch in texts after she criticized Chris's brother for transferring COVID patients to nursing homes. So we referred to Janice as that weather bitch. How stupid is that? Everyone knows that's Al Roker's nickname. When asked how she felt about being called that Janice said, hey, at least it's not Fredo. But the fact is, the media can't accurately report on anything, whether it's perversions or fatality, since they're always implicated in them.

While deaths spiked, they bury them because they championed policies and ideas that contributed to that. They lauded to funding the police and then they tried to camouflage it by saying it's really just a funding shift. It's like planting a bush in front of a septic tank, they tried to hide the consequences of their destructive beliefs. They supported no cash bail while champing the shutdowns turning the city streets into a John Wick sequel minus the freedom.

But as long as Lemon could have a nice evening meal outside, none of the consequences exists. You should never believe the murder rate if a CNN anchor just ate a good sirloin. Now we have record high murder rates in major cities run by liberal mayors. We have soaring traffic accidents. We have an explosion in hate crimes which forces lemon to switch from lying to blaming something vague and unprovable. But hey, it's the closest to honest that he's been in years.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. She's so southern her ringtone is 14 minutes of Freebird. Fox Business Anchor Dagen McDowell. He knows dividends like Kat no split ends. Host of "KUDLOW" on Fox Business and former director of the National Economic Council, Larry Kudlow. She's like a garden hose, slim, refreshing and often found curled up in your backyard. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf.

And his stocking is so big, Santa had to make a second trip. My massive sidekick and the NWA World TV Champion, Tyrus. Larry, so much to cover in that amazing monologue I wrote. You're welcome. What is up -- who would move to CNN at this point when everybody at CNN -- do you have to count -- you got to figure out who hasn't been busted for some kind of sexual deviancy? You got a -- you got a chronic -- I should shut up, right?

LARRY KUDLOW, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK HOST: Where are you going with it?

GUTFELD: I was actually going to go through all the crimes and I thought I -- the show would be over. You know, but anyway, what are your thoughts?

KUDLOW: Save America (INAUDIBLE) the bill.

GUTFELD: That's in the B block.

KUDLOW: That's -- oh, I'm sorry. All right. I'll stop right away.

GUTFELD: The crime is up. The economy's not back to normal. And -- but is this ever going to get better?

KUDLOW: Well, look at, Don Lemon is not ever going to get better. I think that's the real issue that you're getting at here. And it's kind of done to ignore what is clearly a crime wave. But it just happens to be in the cities of these Democratic mayors. And it is getting worse. In other words, you've got record murder rates.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: And that can't be a coincidence. They're all run by, you know, far left progressive politicians who don't believe in cash bail, who do believe in revolving doors, you know, like this crazy guy here. Guy burns down Fox's Christmas tree.

GUTFELD: Right.

KUDLOW: And it's all dismissed, dismissed. He just has some issues and mental issues. No, he doesn't. He had a record three arms long, and had been seen by our security guards, mostly ex-cops. God bless all them. He had been hanging around Fox Plaza for quite some time, saying F Fox, F Fox, F Fox. People knew that. It might have been a hate crime. It was certainly a hate crime against Christmas for heaven's sakes and those who celebrate.

He's now on the streets. Back out there in Fox plaza. That is nuts. But that is typical of what happens in these Democratic cities.

GUTFELD: But the good news is he's going to be one lucky guy on "OUTNUMBERED" tomorrow.

KUDLOW: Yes. OK.

GUTFELD: I'm kidding, Dagen. Gave me the side eye there. We have so much to choose from. We have Cuomo trying to like smear Janice Dean. That's the wrong lady to smear.

DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK ANCHOR: I'm not going to get on her bad side.

GUTFELD: I know. Exactly. There is no bad side.

MCDOWELL: I -- but that's what we always knew they were.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

MCDOWELL: Andy and Chris.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: So they just showed themselves as we expected. But they do -- I, you know, spent a lot of time today trying to get inside Don Lemon's head and I couldn't do it. So I'm feeling pretty proud of myself --

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: They do something and we're kind of talking about it in the green room. And that in your indigestion?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: They do --

GUTFELD: Solved with low acid coffee. Go ahead.

MCDOWELL: They do this thing and they don't -- it's why their T.V. sucks is because why they suck as people is because they are not thinking about the viewer who they're talking to and the camera. Just like if you ever meet them in person, they do this thing called better -- what a friend of mine calls better delia. They're always looking right by your eye or over the top of your head looking for somebody better to talk to.

They don't care about you. They care about somebody who's important or more important than them who might get them their next job. That's all --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: -- was short, that they could just look over my head.

MCDOWELL: No, it's -- because you're not -- that's how they -- I've experienced this -- the entire time I've lived in New York City.

GUTFELD: That's terrible. Tyrus, you want to talk about car accidents? You want to talk about crime?

TYRUS: Oh, yes. I love car accidents.

GUTFELD: You like talk about Don Lemon? I love your outfit today.

TYRUS: What's the difference? (INAUDIBLE) is back.

GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) is back.

TYRUS: The car accidents and Don Lemons advice.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: About pretty much the same thing. If you look at some people that he is -- he taken under his wing, Avenatti.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: The Brady Bunch window with Cuomo where they love you, love you.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

TYRUS: Got a dinner, got a dinner. Hey, I got this problem with my brother. Can get some help? Sure. How about the Smollett case? He was really good at giving me advice there and getting the scoop.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Hey, they're not believing your story. I have a better one. So, I think the consensus should be that anytime Don lemons on your T.V., it's probably because you're in the middle of trying to change between something you get stuck.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Keep going because his advice is horrible.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: And if he takes you under his wing, if he doesn't look over your head to talk to you looks directly at you. You should then go home immediately. Find someone who loves you and likes you and have them to remove the target that's on your back. Because bad things going to happen to you when Don Lemon takes a liking to you and starts giving you advice on how to handle your business. And look at everybody he's giving advice to.

GUTFELD: That's true.

TYRUS: So whatever he tells you to do, do the opposite of and you should be just fine.

GUTFELD: That's true. I never thought of it that way. I'm steering clear at him, Kat.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: OK.

GUTFELD: Last word to you. Pick any topic from --

TIMPF: Very good job on the question. I don't know. I just don't get what he was saying. I don't get how he reached that conclusion that it was obviously -- there's more car accidents because if all of the car accidents had -- were like pickup trucks with gun racks on the back. And I'd say maybe it is a conservative thing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But I don't think so. Like I get mad at the government all the time. And I don't -- I don't think to myself, I, you know, I'm going to get behind the wheel blindfolded and just (BLEEP) up like, no, like --

TYRUS: I think I can help you here, Kat.

TIMPF: Oh, please, please.

TYRUS: So you're coming from a place of accountability. Like, you have an issue you solve it. He's more like, you know, he's just kind of saying stuff. He doesn't really whatever sticks. That's the fact.

TIMPF: He got sick of saying conservatives are COVID murderers, so now it's vehicular homicide.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: That's true. He shifted. He shifted.

TYRUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: He's evolved.

MCDOWELL: And why -- by the way as a redneck I speak from personal experience. Rednecks with a new pickup truck and a gun in the rack are the most careful driver.

GUTFELD: That is true.

TYRUS: Yes.

MCDOWELL: They do not want -- you better be careful getting out, you know, at the -- at the tater, getting out of your car, you better not bumped that dude's pickup dude.

TIMPF: Yes. You know what, I'm not a redneck but I'm a redneck sympathizer. And I also understand that new car smell and that new car. It's more -- it's the most important thing in your life. The last thing you do is get a ding or dent on it or smear anything unless you specifically say I'm going mudding.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right. We got to move on. Up next, Biden plunges in the ratings while Kamala remains nausea.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Biden's reviews hit rock bottom but media enablers, you know he's got him. Yes, just like me and the Planet Fitness steam room. Every week it's a new low. And the new ABC poll, his approval ratings are down yet again across a host of issues with new lows for everything from crime to the economy. Luckily Old Joe's always got the press to back him up. MSNBC's Chuck Todd says it's because the big orange boogeyman is still lurking.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CHUCK TODD, MSNBC HOST: It seems as if there's nothing the White House can do to improve their political standing these days. It does feel like every week there's another poll, it's a new bottom. It's a new vest. And some of it is out of their control. His two big promises were to get covered behind us and to get rid of Donald Trump. COVID is not behind us and Donald Trump still lurking. It's not his fault.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. I bet Joe wishes he had a new bottom. Well, but maybe you shouldn't have campaigned on having power over diseases and promises that he can get rid of people. And maybe it's hard to improve the standing of a president who has trouble standing. But it's not just the press, the late night hosts are still kissing Joe's ass too hopefully after his diaper was changed.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JIMMY FALLON, NBC HOST: How much do you pay attention to approval ratings?

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Well, not anymore. I'm joking. I was paying attention in the mid-60s, but not in the mid-40s, I don't pay attention anymore.

FALLON: I appreciate the honesty. Yes. I mean, because you came in -- you came in hot, and then you got to medium, and you're at a low but you just got to keep your head down, right? And just keep doing the right thing.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: What better place for Biden to say he doesn't care about bad ratings? Apparently Jimmy Fallon doesn't care either. Crushing him. Meanwhile, V.P. Harris, or as Biden calls her lady, what's her face? It's brushing off negative media coverage about her and interview she called the recent headlines ridiculous and that it's par for the course that's a golf phrase, Kat. "Quote, there is nothing about this job that is supposed to be easy. If something is coming to me, it's because it needs to be addressed and because by definition, it's not going to be easy.

If it was easy, it would have been handled before it comes to me. Well, except that everything about the V.P.'S job is supposed to be easy. You don't even get fired after shooting someone in the face. Shout out to Dick Cheney. But it could be that people are coming to you not to solve a problem. It's because they heard your laugh and thought a donkey had his leg caught in a trap. What do you think, Joe?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Look, look, look, you don't go after, Kamala, all right? You come after me. The big guy. That's why I got into this business. And that's why I'm ready. I got to be ready to take the tough problems and blame somebody for. Who gets to blame? Donna Donald Trump. I'm ready. Global warming. The unvaccinated, you know what I mean? I'm always ready. You got to be prepared in this job. When that phone rings and wakes you up at 4:00 p.m. You got to be ready to go. Come on, man.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Nice. Kat, you know what drives me crazy? Is that everybody in the media is offering advice. Like this didn't -- this didn't ever happen with Trump. No one was ever trying to help Trump whenever there was something going on. But for some reason, it's like everybody has advice for Joe because Joe is having a hard time.

TIMPF: Yes, no, although sometimes advice can be the worst when you're having a hard time.

GUTFELD: That is true.

TIMPF: So leave me alone. But yes, they do. They help him, they help Kamala, the interview was really easy on her too. They didn't fact check her. I don't need her obvious lies.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Like when she said, I love people.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I would be like, name five things you love about people.

GUTFELD: Or name five people.

TIMPF: Yes. Name five people.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: By Name.

KUDLOW: Or five staffers.

TIMPF: She would fall apart.

KUDLOW: Or five staffers.

TIMPF: Yes, exactly. You don't love people.

GUTFELD: Maybe she meant the magazine. It is like joyful.

TIMPF: No. Like few full of people.

GUTFELD: That's true.

TIMPF: Which she hates.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's true. Tyrus, you know what? I love the fact that Chuck Todd is blaming all this on the fact that like Trump's still alive, like Trump still here. It's got to be his fault.

TYRUS: No, Greg. I mean, he was close. It's 100 percent Twitter's fault.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: They took the red monster or orange. I can't remember what it is. I'm colorblind. The orange monster away.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: So he can't chime in and bail us out. They're stuck. They miss him. They're probably like, yo, Twitter. OK. Like seriously, it was good at first, but we really need a 3:00 a.m. tweet. It's --

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Is there anyone around that we can get going that can start this up because they're actually calling us on our (BLEEP) this is not fun anymore. This job -- this job is supposed to be we do stuff, Trump criticized us on social media. We talked about that, get booked deals, and then no one really pays attention to the burning country around us.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: Because we focus in on Trump. And I love this wokeism response to everything. You -- I -- Greg, if you let me sit in this chair, I'm going to make people laugh, and everyone's going to think I'm your body guard. So they're going to think you're famous. My first show, nobody laughed, and people just walked by me, it didn't pay attention to you. I did not fulfill my promises. Is that my fault? Is it?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Are we sure?

GUTFELD: I don't know.

TIMPF: As I told you, that I was going to do something.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

TYRUS: And then I've not done it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: So it's 100 percent my fault.

GUTFELD: Right. Yes.

TYRUS: So Joe said he was going to -- how do you get rid of a person other than like getting rid of a person?

GUTFELD: I know. I know.

TYRUS: And he didn't do either. He made him worse.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: So it's 150 percent his fault.

GUTFELD: There you go.

TYRUS: Thank you. Class dismissed.

GUTFELD: Dagen, every week is a new bottom. Hmm.

MCDOWELL: Well.

GUTFELD: You know, just think about that.

KUDLOW: A sexist would say.

GUTFELD: A sexist would say.

MCDOWELL: It's not in my ass. Few times a day.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: I think that this a ploy though that Biden's biggest cheerleaders appear to be Chalk Toad as you call them. And Joy Behar.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: This is a some ploy for people to feel sorry for him. That that's all that he's got left.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: Are these highly odious?

GUTFELD: And you say these, except that we've never seen Joy or Chuck together.

MCDOWELL: It could -- it could be. It's -- I think the two of them is like beautiful Punchbowl of toilet water and Jagermeister.

GUTFELD: Oh.

TIMPF: My favorite.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: We've been there.

GUTFELD: Kudlow --

KUDLOW: Can I just put it back?

GUTFELD: Yes. Sure, please don't. Don't put it back in.

KUDLOW: Chuck Todd and all this blaming of Trump, so Democratic pollster Mark Penn is one of the better ones in the business. He runs this Harvard Harris Poll.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: OK. Trump is now beating Biden.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: OK. He's beating by three to five points. And he's now beating Kamala Harris by nine to 11 points.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: OK? So you can blame Trump. But meanwhile, the rest of the country is blaming the guy in charge. His name is Biden. He is the most unpopular politician in quite some time. And the country does not like any of his policies, not a single policy, not on crime, not an immigration, not on spending and taxing. In fact, in fact, two numbers came out Friday, they're probably going to destroy his whole plan.

GUTFELD: Right.

KUDLOW: One of them was 6.9 percent Consumer Price Index.

GUTFELD: Yikes.

KUDLOW: And the other one was a $5 trillion repricing by the CBO.

GUTFELD: Right.

KUDLOW: All right. It's not just one year, it's going to be 10 years. Everybody knows that.

GUTFELD: Larry.

KUDLOW: So --

GUTFELD: That's a lot of facts.

KUDLOW: America -- saving America. Kill the bill.

GUTFELD: There you go.

KUDLOW: The bill is dead after those two numbers. And that, by the way, is why Biden's polls are so terrible, and why he is actually losing to my former boss Donald Trump.

MCDOWELL: Can I quickly add something about the Cuomo brothers? Two words. (BLEEP) them.

GUTFELD: Up next. Was it too brash to have teacher's desk for cast?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Was the game well-meaning or utterly demeaning? Yes, teachers fought for cash like peasants and most found it quite unpleasant. Video gone viral of South Dakota educators, they have them there. Scrambling for $5,000 in singles to help pay for school supplies. Look at that, it was like a strip club without the strippers.

So, basically, it's not like a strip club. I should really put more effort into these analogies. A mortgage company organized the dash for cash event at a local hockey game, which saw teachers trying to grab as much money as possible in under five minutes -- I've been there.

One of the organizers called it awesome and said teachers deserve whatever the heck they get. Still others on Twitter, including teachers, union boss, Randi Weingarten, are calling the event out saying it's demeaning, and teachers shouldn't have to dash for dollars for classroom supplies. Of course, it was a volunteer event.

So, no one was forced to do anything like you know, joining a corrupt teachers union that cares more about preserving power than educating kids. But if you thought this was demeaning, you should have seen what they originally planned on having the teachers do.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, Jesus!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I wouldn't mind it. You know, Tyrus, the real problem with this was that they were $1.00 bills. I mean, they're not factoring an inflation under Biden's America, it should have probably been 10 or 20.

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I appreciate your fiscal but the fiscal questions go to him.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: As a former teacher, I couldn't be more, I couldn't laugh more in the faces of people saying demeaning.

LARRY KUDLOW, FORMER DIRECTOR OF THE NATIONAL ECONOMIC COUNCIL OF THE UNITED STATES: Yes.

TYRUS: Because you would never do it. You would never get on your hands and knees and grab every dollar for your classroom you possibly could. Wouldn't even cross your little mind. How you actually might have to deal with them. Because you know what?

For every kid in there screaming and cheering for his teacher, that's a kid who's invested now because teachers willing to do that. And for teachers, the reason why they're doing this because maybe this week won't come out of their own pockets. I spent more money as a teacher on my classroom and my students than the paycheck I was getting.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: I literally putting myself in debt for attitude. So, if you would have told me that my big ass would have to get down on a hockey rink and grab every dollar with other teachers who give a damn about their classroom, they probably wouldn't have got anything.

GUTFELD: There you go. Look, you know, he's persuaded me. And you know, they made a good point. What do you think?

KUDLOW: Look, I, with all my heart, want to attack the teacher's union every chance I get.

GUTFELD: Yes. So, blame Randi Weingarten, she's the one who hated this.

KUDLOW: And blame Randi Weingarten who's come out -- I mean, she's just the worst left to the left. But I did think it's demeaning.

GUTFELD: Really?

KUDLOW: Yes, I do. And I don't understand. First of all, I don't understand why they would do this. Second of all, what about the governor of South Dakota? South Dakota is growing. She's done a pretty good job, Kristi Noem.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: Why would she allow this? Why would they be short of money in a prosperous state like that? And also, the federal government has literally thrown hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars at education, probably for no good use. But I'm just saying I hate to see these people on their hands --

TYRUS: Looking at the wrong way because, I used to be a teacher would sit in the thing. You throw a baseball at the thing --

GUTFELD: Oh, yes.

TYRUS: On the water you donate. This is what teachers do. We're boots on the ground. We're entertaining. Our kids see this, this is how you bring them in.

GUTFELD: Dagen, it's like I think, you know, it can be demeaning and also fun, right? You know what I'm saying.

DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK ANCHOR: I do because --

GUTFELD: I've been, I've done a lot of demeaning things that I really enjoyed.

MCDOWELL: Yes, and this is, this isn't even in my --

GUTFELD: I can show you some pictures.

MCDOWELL: This is not even in my top 50 of demeaning -- the kids will think this is cool. They're like what -- the teachers got -- we did a cash grab. You know why, this is the American way? Who didn't at age four like elbow Timmy and Scotty when Santa was throwing candy off the sleigh in the Christmas break?

TYRUS: You've been to (INAUDIBLE) --

MCDOWELL: You've been doing -- right.

TYRUS: OK?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: You hit --

GUTFELD: That's more demeaning. The bouquet when all the single ladies have to group up --

MCDOWELL: Well, I don't do that.

GUTFELD: That is so bad.

MCDOWELL: But a pinata with candy, you're fighting kids? By the way, adult men at like a baseball game --

GUTLFELD: Fighting over a foul ball.

MCDOWELL: No.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: Fighting over a $3.00 t-shirt out of the t-shirt cannon.

TYRUS: Because it came out of the can and it's special.

MCDOWELL: Right, exactly. They're skipping our little children to try to catch a t shirt from skidlid clad woman.

KUDLOW: There's just -- there's just got to be a better way. There just got to be a better way.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes. I just think that this is a great argument. Like, what Randi Weingarten doesn't understand is that this is occurring under the system that she's so influential over.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: I think this is a great argument against that system. I mean, come on, if this is what we need to do, spend a lot of money on education.

KUDLOW: Yes.

TIMPF: It's a better argument for privatizing it, then anything.

GUTFELD: You know what, this doesn't happen in home schooling. I don't even know what that means. I just wanted to button it up.

KUDLOW: I'm all for school choice. I'm all for school choice, and I'm all against the teachers' union. But that's not the best way to do it. That's why it can't be.

GUTFELD: You know what, I just think, you know what, I don't really care. Just a fun story. I like the visual of these people roping for money on the ground and I didn't have to go downtown to do it.

Coming up, the mega money lover who Muay Thai magazines cover.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Our favorite billionaire weirdo is Times Person of the Year-go. Elon Musk, never heard of him, has been named due to the year by the magazine you forgot was there, which prompted him to spend an extra $100 so he could own Time as well. And in addition to being the world's richest man, the CEO of Tesla and Founder of SpaceX, Elon is also a major advocate for colonizing Mars -- that's a planet, Kat.

And getting weird haircuts after 50. I believe that particular style is called I'm super rich, so you're going to sleep with me anyway. That's why Elon was chosen this year. The Time writes in their profile: "Musk has spent a lifetime defying the haters." What? "Now, it seems he's finally in position to put them in their place for 2021 with a year of Elon Unbound."

What? Because before this year, he was just a genius multi-billionaire that dated beautiful actresses. Looks like the ma -- top the magazine is late again pretty bad for a magazine named Time. Time also says Elon is one of the few people worthy of being described as larger than life. I suppose they haven't made you know who?

I am. I am. But is Musk really the right choice for 2021's person of the year? While Brian Kilmeade therapist goes unrecognized? And what about the Yak who grew Kat's hair extensions? Talk about an unsung hero. Let's make a quick round out of this Dagen. Who should be Person of the Year, shouldn't it rhyme with Smeg Smuthfield?

MCDOWELL: Uh, no -- I think it should be the person who still reads Time. Hmm. Like sing that person?

GUTFELD: Yes, it's one person.

MCDOWELL: Yes, exactly. It's pamphlet.

GUTFELD: Larry, who should be the Times' Person of the Year? You think the -- I actually do think this is a good choice. I love, I love Elon Musk.

KUDLOW: I love too. I think Elon Musk is terrific.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: He's really smart. And here's another thing I really love about him, I'm surprised the lefties who have given this award. He is the biggest electric carmaker, right?

GUTFELD: Right.

KUDLOW: Number one. So, he has come out totally opposed to all of Biden's Green New Deal subsidies for electric cars as batteries. He's against them. And that's very cool. In fact, he just came out against Biden's entire bill which the rest of the country also hates. So, for a CEO and a smart guy and the Time put him on the cover, he's a conservative, he's a Libertarian, he's very cool.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: I am for him. I like the guy.

GUTFELD: You know Tyrus, is he a savior or a supervillain?

TYRUS: He's neither, he's, he's uh he's their hope, he's the moderate Democrats' hope.

GUTFELD: Yes, I don't know if he's --

TYRUS: Because the progressives hate him.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: First of all, he hasn't fill in enough box to be a person of the year having accomplishments by just pure being good with money that's well, that's racist.

So, he's out of there, you know, and he's I hate to be the one to bring this up, but apparently, he's a white male.

GUTFELD: And straight.

TYRUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Straight.

TYRUS: And straight. Apparently, he's a breeder.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

TYRUS: You get a couple of breeders in your neighborhood all hell breaks.

GUTFELD: Oh my god. Yes.

TYRUS: The little things running around.

GUTFELD: what re those things anyway, they're children?

TYRUS: I don't know they're bad but yes, so he is disqualified by every leftist magazine on the planet and time is going, maybe like he, he could stand up to me standing to bide me still here you can't cancel them yes because he'll just write you a check.

GUTFELD: Yes, I wish you'd write me a check. You know, Kat, I should be man of the year for rescuing late night from the humorless left. They agree. They agree.

TIMPF: How did that feel?

GUTFELD: Good, good. 10,000 people in the audience --

TIMPF: So, you want me to agree with you? Yes, you should -- yes.

GUTFELD: OK.

TIMPF: I don't, I don't get this influential like, to like he -- I'm not influenced by him.

GUTFELD: No?

TIMPF: No, I'm not --

GUTFELD: OK. Then, who would you want?

TIMPF: I mean, I think that you're lying, everyone's lying if you say anyone other than your own self is your own self's person, influential of the year.

GUTFELD: That's interesting.

TYRUS: So, put a mirror.

TIMPF: Yes, me. For me only.

GUTFELD: They did that once. Didn't they do that once for the Time Magazine that did a mirror?

TIMPF: Yes, they did. And then everyone's like, puts in their Twitter bio like this isn't your most influential person, they think they're really funny but they're not because it's not that easy to be funny.

TYRUS: It's not.

GUTFELD: It's not. It's very, very hard and I think our show proves that again and again. For example, in this segment.

All right, up next, peloton took pity after his death on Sex in the City.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: He died sooner than expected. So, Peloton had him resurrected. I speak of the fictional heart attack death of the fictional character, Mr. Big, in the "Sex in the City" reboot. Yes, there's a "Sex in the City" reboot. Emphasis on boot. Thank you. Keep going. It's like Sarah Jessica Parker heard about a manmade virus unleashed from a lab that killed millions and said: China, hold my latte.

Anyway, Peloton claims that although it knew one of its bikes would appear in the reboot, it had no idea it would be used to kill off a character, so where's product placement since Jerry Sandusky wore Nike's? Makes -- makes sense that Mr. Big would ride a bike, though, he's already ridden a horse. So, Peloton -- what, I don't even get that joke. Oh, so Peloton brought the character back to life in one of its commercials starring one of its popular cyclists look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: To new beginnings.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: To new beginnings. You look great.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, I feel great. Should we take another ride? But it's too short not to.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I hope it works. Peloton stocks reportedly fell 11 percent after the airing of the episode which is coincidentally the same percentage of people who still give a flying (BLEEP) about "Sex in the City." This is a sham and a scam, right, Dagen?

MCDOWELL: It all -- it feels false to me, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes, it feels false to me too.

MCDOWELL: It feels very manufactured.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: They have this magic commercial that comes out after the fact --

GUTFELD: Suddenly.

MCDOWELL: I'm stupefied by the dumb asses who sold the stock because a fictional character dropped dead?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: On a TV show, which I did watch both of the first two episodes and I'll just say they're not cool, they're cocoon.

GUTFELD: I enjoyed cocoon. Larry, you've watched the "Sex and the City" reboot twice.

KUDLOW: Constantly.

GUTFELD: Constant. Can't get enough of it.

KUDLOW: I prefer live stream --

TYRUS: A couple guest star spots in there, doesn't it?

GUTFELD: You're the love interest.

KUDLOW: I just felt get back if they want to kill the guy off --

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: Coming off a treadmill.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: Couldn't they do better than that? Their script writers? It's kind of a boring way to do it.

TIMPF: How would you like to see him killed?

KUDLOW: I would say a lot of wonderful way. I'd even make the show interesting. And by the way, they should have put Kim Cattrall back in the show because she's really the best of the (INAUDIBLE). Just saying, just saying.

GUTFELD: There's a -- you don't, you know you're not a Sarah Jessica Parker fan, I tell you. I'm considered the Kim Cattrall of this show. I bet you didn't know that.

TYRUS: We didn't know that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I don't even know --

KUDLOW: I just think it's a pity the stock crashed on this.

GUTFELD: By the way, I love Peloton. It's my favorite exercise device, Kat.

TIMPF: We know.

GUTFELD: Aside from the magic fingers. What do you -- I don't even know what that is. I do remember -- there was a -- remember, you used to be on a bed?

MCDOWELL: In motels.

GUTFELD: Yes, motel, the magic fingers.

MCDOWELL: Trust me on that one.

TYRUS: 50 cents --

GUTFELD: 50 cents and the bed would vibrate. It was great, especially if you had somebody there. But if you're alone -- Kat, I don't even know what my question is, just answer it.

TIMPF: I don't -- after that, I have to talk?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I've never seen any of the "Sex in the City" ever.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Because it's --

TYRUS: She's looking at me for? I can't help you.

TIMPF: Right, right. It's like they live in New York City, and they have sex.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's basically it.

TIMPF: Cool.

GUTFELD: Yes. And the dialogue is absolutely atrocious.

TIMPF: I don't doubt it.

GUTFELD: I did watch some of it.

TIMPF: You've seen all of it.

GUTFELD: I have the Fox sets. Sometimes I just spread it out on my bed, on comforter and just roll around. Roll around --

TYRUS: Thanks for the visual.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: If they've just had a killing and a good murder, and a police chase. It would have been an interesting show.

GUTFELD: You're talking about "Cops" though. You know what, they should have killed Kim Cattrall, they should have killed Kim Cattrall.

KUDLOW: No, they should have put her back in and kill the other ones.

GUTFELD: Tyrus, bring us home on this last and very strange and sad topic.

TYRUS: You know what, I kind of like -- the Peloton commercials. They're -- what's his name Deadpool? I always forget his name --

GUTFELD: Ryan Reynolds.

TYRUS: Ryan Reynolds is the, the -- we didn't see the whole clip, but then he tells all the good things that comes from riding a bike. In the end, he's like he's alive. So, I think the answer to the smart-assery who's doing the commercial is Ryan Reynolds has a lot of time on his hands and he likes to have a good joke. And anytime the woke go after something, because riding a Peloton will kill you. But in every other scene, they have alcohol and cigarettes constantly. But none of that.

GUTFELD: That's right.

TYRUS: In years and years of protected --

GUTFELD: Whatever.

TYRUS: Constant weird sex with millions struggling actors. Oh, that's fine, but one ride on the bike, that's your ass. No, sorry.

GUTFELD: You know what, that's a great point. That's a great way they made Peloton, but again, this is all a scam. It got, it got the commercial --

TIMPF: It's an inside job.

TYRUS: The reigning alcoholism on the show is fine.

GUTFELD: An inside job. All right, we got to move on. Don't go away. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out time. Thank you, Larry Kudlow, Dagen McDowell, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, out studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Oprah. I love you America.

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