This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 25, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

Juan Williams, co-host: Hello, everyone, I'm Juan Williams, along with Katie Pavlich, Jessie Watters, Dana Perino, and Gregory Greg Gutfeld is here. It's 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."

Merry Christmas, everyone. We're so excited to have you join us for our fun-filled Christmas special. We're answering your Yuletide questions. They come from social media, and we'll be doing it for the full hour. So grab your eggnog, and let's go. Question A, it's a Facebook question from Peggy S. -- what is the weirdest Christmas gift you ever received? Katie Pavlich.

Katie Pavlich, guest co-host: I think pogs. Remember pogs?

Dana Perino, co-host: No.

Katie Pavlich: Like back in the day? They're like little round cardboard things that kids would play with and you just trade -- they're like baseball cards almost. And I just never was like into them. So I got them. I don't know. That's weird.

Juan Williams: But it wasn't for a girl; it was for a boy.

Katie Pavlich: It was gender-neutral.

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: But clearly it didn't work for you.

Katie Pavlich: It just wasn't my thing.

Juan Williams: Jesse?

Katie Pavlich: And I lost them.

Jesse Watters, co-host: I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas, Juan.

Juan Williams: Thank you.

Jesse Watters: I had a great morning unwrapping gifts. It was just really beautiful to celebrate with everybody. So everybody out there, Merry Christmas.

Greg Gutfeld, co-host: Was this at a La Quinta Inn?

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: I got coal in my stocking.

Greg Gutfeld: Really?

Jesse Watters: Several years in a row.

Female Speaker: Sounds like a weird gift.

Jesse Watters: My kids think it's a funny prank, and I don't think it's that funny. But it happens.

Juan Williams: It didn't come from your parents; it came from the kids?

Jesse Watters: It might've come from both. I blacked it out.

Juan Williams: Did you express your displeasure?

Jesse Watters: I'm a bit naughty, Juan. Very naughty.

Katie Pavlich: So it's not a weird gift. It was a valid gift.

Jesse Watters: Valid. Substantiated.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah, okay. Got you.

Juan Williams: I think it's a season of forgiveness. You know, we should -- I mean, we've got to celebrate.

Jesse Watters: You don't know what I've done, Juan.

Juan Williams: Well, I want to celebrate with you. It's Christmas.

Dana Perino: And Mary mentioned joy.

Juan Williams: Yeah. Dana.

Dana Perino: Well, the weirdest gift I ever got was a gift I got last year that I can't tell you what it was. It was from my dad. And I'm not allowed to have one of these.

Multiple Speakers: Oh.

Jesse Watters: I think I know what it is.

Greg Gutfeld: It's a weapon.

Dana Perino: I'm not saying what it was.

Jesse Watters: Can you just say what it is?

Dana Perino: I'm just saying it was weird. No, because I don't want anyone --

Greg Gutfeld: It's a weapon that --

Jesse Watters: Yeah, we [unintelligible]

Dana Perino: I don't want the NYPD to come to my department.

Jesse Watters: Yes. Okay, we know what it is.

Katie Pavlich: Okay. That was a weird gift.

[CROSSTALK]

Dana Perino: But also --

Jesse Watters: Shocking.

Dana Perino: A very sweet gift.

Greg Gutfeld: Gift, yes.

Dana Perino: If you think about --

Jesse Watters: Shocking; it will give you that.

Dana Perino: Yeah, I was shocked, completely.

Greg Gutfeld: Apparently he was watching a lot of Fox News coverage [unintelligible] "crimes getting really bad in New York." Drops that in the mail. I'm not even sure you can mail that, but -- did he mail it?

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: That's a felony.

Greg Gutfeld: That's a felony, across state lines.

Dana Perino: But you don't know what it is.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah, it was a whip.

Juan Williams: Right, let me, so --

Katie Pavlich: It was probably whiskey.

Juan Williams: Whiskey? There you go.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah, whiskey.

Juan Williams: My wife once said to me after she had been sort of carjacked that she wanted --

Jesse Watters: “Sort of carjacked.”

[CROSSTALK]

Juan Williams: So anyway, she wanted a pink one and the people at the NRA and everybody else said they were going to give it to her. But you didn't have -- what color was it?

Jesse Watters: What color was yours?

Dana Perino: Well, I mean [unintelligible] I'm not telling you what I got. I'm not telling you -- let it remain a mystery. If I could mention one thing about that. A girlfriend of mine in April of this year -- this is five months after our Christmas show last year, her dad went into a hospital. I said -- I called, I said "I hope your dad's feeling better." And she said, "well, he has one question for you." She said "for five months, he's been wondering what was it that your dad got you for Christmas?

Juan Williams: Oh, wow.

Dana Perino: And I'm like, "so it's still a mystery. It's still the weirdest gift I ever got." But it was out of love.

Juan Williams: I believe it was.

Dana Perino: It came from a place of love.

Juan Williams: All right, Gregory, the weirdest Christmas gift --

Greg Gutfeld: I'm trying to think because like, I get like -- the obvious one was that unicorn jumpsuit --

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: Is that true?

Greg Gutfeld: -- that was given to me on The Five Christmas show like four years ago, which inflated, and it was -- you could look it up, it's somewhere. Or just drop it in. But I -- you know what I was thinking -- the album "I Robot" by Alan Parsons Project.

Jesse Watters: I have no idea what that means.

Greg Gutfeld: You don't know Al? It's a whole album -- it's the guy who produced Dark Side of the Moon. It's a great -- but my sister gives it to me. I never heard of this guy and then I ended up listening to the album every day for like a year. But it was all about robots.

Jesse Watters: Oh. Is that the one where if you sync it up to the Dorothy --

Greg Gutfeld: That's Dark Side of the Moon.

Jesse Watters: Oh, okay.

Greg Gutfeld: To The Wizard of Oz?

Jesse Watters: Right, Wizard of Oz.

Greg Gutfeld: Because if you sync it up to The Wizard of Oz, you -- it all [unintelligible]

Jesse Watters: Right when the lion roars.

Greg Gutfeld: But you've got to smoke something really strong for it to work.

Juan Williams: That's legal in many states.

Greg Gutfeld: But don't mail it.

[CROSSTALK]

Juan Williams: By the way, Jesse, you have a special place in this show.

Jesse Watters: Why?

Juan Williams: Because the weirdest Christmas gift I ever got was that snowflake suit.

Jesse Watters: Yes, the snowflake suit.

Juan Williams: Because, you know --

Jesse Watters: Why aren't you wearing it? It's Christmas.

Juan Williams: Well, because you know how liberals are. We're snowflakes.

Jesse Watters: Yeah.

Juan Williams: I liked it so much, even though it was a weird gift, that I wore it at home for my family on Christmas Day last year.

Jesse Watters: Perfect.

Katie Pavlich: Like the whole day?

Juan Williams: Well, yes. I think I wore it through dinner. I don't know about the whole [unintelligible]; I don't know if I went out afterwards.

Katie Pavlich: It's very festive.

Juan Williams: Actually, it's a fun suit.

Jesse Watters: It is.

Juan Williams: All right. The second question for our Christmas special, this one comes from Lindsey C. -- it says, "What's the most annoying Christmas song?" I'm going to go first on this one. The Chipmunks. You know, "oh, Alvin." I'm like, "wow." Yeah, Greg?

Jesse Watters: We're just doing Feliz Navidad.

Katie Pavlich: Prospero ano y felicidad.

Jesse Watters: Yeah.

Katie Pavlich: You told me I don't know any other Spanish songs, and I do.

Jesse Watters: And I said only Ricky Martin. But that is the most annoying Spanish song, in my opinion.

Katie Pavlich: It's the best song [unintelligible]

Juan Williams: Excuse me. Christmas.

Jesse Watters: Christmas song.

Dana Perino: I'm going to have to agree with Jesse.

Jesse Watters: Help me out.

Dana Perino: And I'll tell you why. I'm going to agree with you.

Greg Gutfeld: You're all racist. That's --

Katie Pavlich: I love that song. I love it.

Dana Perino: Years ago --

Jesse Watters: Feliz Navidad, everybody.

Dana Perino: Feliz Navidad. Years ago, Peter and I invited my sister to Washington, D.C. for Christmas. And as a surprise, we brought her to New York for her first time.

Juan Williams: Wow.

Dana Perino: And at one point, we got on the subway to go from point A to point B, and there was a guy on the subway who had a terrible voice and he was singing Feliz Navidad over and over and over again for money. And we got stuck in the subway.

Greg Gutfeld: It was Brian Williams.

Dana Perino: And he just kept playing it over and over again. So anytime I hear it now, it's not like the wonderful version; all I can imagine hearing is that guy's really bad [unintelligible]

Jesse Watters: He ruined it for you.

Juan Williams: Why, was he drunk?

Dana Perino: No.

Juan Williams: No.

Dana Perino: I think that he was just --

Greg Gutfeld: Making money.

Juan Williams: Just giving it a shot. Yeah. And I -- I think that you're right.

Greg Gutfeld: He's a busker.

Dana Perino: He just didn't deserve a lot of money.

Juan Williams: Which is one of the great words in the language.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes. I will say every single Christmas song there is, every single one is annoying and it's annoying because they aren't --

Jesse Watters: It's Christmas.

Greg Gutfeld: Good enough songs to be played year-round. They're like -- they're like the turkey. You only have turkey once a year because it's a mediocre bird. Both of these Christmas songs have mediocre melodies, are incredibly annoying. And so we have -- we're forced to listen to them from the end of November to the end of December. They make me sick to my stomach. I'm sorry, America, but you asked the question. They're the worst songs on Earth. And if God wanted to, he'd agree with me.

Jesse Watters: Okay.

Juan Williams: If God wanted, he may agree with you. I don't know. But wait, so, let me take you into your deep Grinch-most mode and ask you then what is your favorite Christmas hymn?

Katie Pavlich: He doesn't have one. None of them.

Dana Perino: None of them, right?

Juan Williams: None of them, that's true.

Greg Gutfeld: Anarchy in the U.K. by the Sex Pistols.

Juan Williams: I don't even know what to say. I don't know what to say. Anyway, did you -- what was it?

Katie Pavlich: I somewhat agree with Greg, but only post -- or pre-Thanksgiving. So any Christmas song that is played before Thanksgiving.

Dana Perino: What about after New Year's?

Katie Pavlich: And after New Year's. So there is a period of time. It's the day after Thanksgiving through December 25th. And then it's just stop.

Jesse Watters: It's like wearing white after Labor Day. You just can't do it. No, you can do that, but you can't [unintelligible]

Greg Gutfeld: Only if you're in the alt-right.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: My God, Greg.

Juan Williams: But here's the reality. Right now, on November 1st, they start playing Christmas songs.

Katie Pavlich: But they're ruining it. It's like extending it way too long.

Juan Williams: All right.

Katie Pavlich: You take the value and the fun out of it.

Greg Gutfeld: Christmas should only be once every four years the way they used to do with the Olympics. Then we'd appreciate it more. We'd save more money. We'd be able to afford mortgages and college. But instead, every year we spend all this money giving each other gifts that we don't even like.

Katie Pavlich: It's good capitalism.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah. That's true.

Juan Williams: All right. Question number three, from you. It comes from Kent B. It says what's everyone's favorite Christmas memory? I'm going to go to somebody who comes from the land of snow and ranches. Dana Perino.

Dana Perino: Well, actually, my favorite memory was from being up in Newcastle, Wyoming, with all my family gathered. My father and -- had two brothers and cousins and we were all there together. And there was one year where it snowed so badly that we really couldn't go anywhere, and we ended up playing cards the whole weekend. But we also -- we had those old wooden long sleds.

Juan Williams: Oh, yeah.

Juan Williams: And my grandfather would put us all in back of the pickup, and we would go up to the top, and then one uncle and my dad -- my dad and then my uncles would be on there with the rest of the kids to put some weight, and we would fly down these gullies, and my grandfather would drive down, pick us up so we didn't have to walk back up the hill over and over again. Then we'd come back to the house and say, you know, to my grandmother, "Mama put on the hot chocolate." And --

Juan Williams: Well --

Dana Perino: So it wasn't a gift. It was just being up there.

Juan Williams: I think that's a gift. That was wonderful. Greg.

Dana Perino: Well, no, I mean -- never mind.

Juan Williams: [LAUGHS] Okay.

Greg Gutfeld: You know, I grew up in Northern California, and I think it only snowed once in my entire life there. So we went to Skyline Boulevard and people had a -- nobody had sleds because it was Northern California.

Dana Perino: Didn't have them.

Greg Gutfeld: So we're Skyline, which is above CSM College in San Mateo, and we're like sliding on the lids of garbage can.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah. That's awesome.

Greg Gutfeld: And we went to a donut shop and had donuts.

Dana Perino: Great memory.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah. And then I killed a drifter.

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: That was wonderful.

Jesse Watters: So your favorite Christmas was a white Christmas.

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS] I know.

Jesse Watters: Okay, Greg. Typical.

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: So what was your favorite?

Jesse Watters: My favorite Christmas was this Christmas.

Greg Gutfeld: Aww.

Jesse Watters: It has been such a great Christmas. I had so much fun this morning with the Yule and the tide and the trees. It's just been beautiful. Feliz Navidad.

Katie Pavlich: What was the weather like today?

Jesse Watters: It was --

[LAUGHTER]

-- balmy, actually, Katie.

Dana Perino: Inside.

Jesse Watters: Inside. [LAUGHS]

Juan Williams: All right. Your favorite, Katie.

Katie Pavlich: Oh, I grew up in the snowy part of Arizona. So I think my favorite Christmas memory is where my dad would hook up sleds to the back of the pickup truck.

Dana Perino: Oh, that's pretty fun.

Greg Gutfeld: There you go.

Katie Pavlich: We live out, like, in the middle of nowhere.

Dana Perino: Like water skiing?

Jesse Watters: Like donuts.

Katie Pavlich: Basically, and --

Dana Perino: Oh.

Katie Pavlich: They didn't plow the roads.

Dana Perino: Don't try this at home.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah, don't try this at home. But we did, and I survived.

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]

Katie Pavlich: They wouldn't plow the road, so he would just drag us in the back of the truck through the roads. And it was so much fun.

Dana Perino: Wow.

Katie Pavlich: We would do that. And there was another time where he came home with a puppy, and that was pretty good.

Dana Perino: [gasps]

Jesse Watters: Oh, that's pretty nice.

Dana Perino: Oh, wow.

Juan Williams: Wow. Wait, what --

Katie Pavlich: Yeah. And my mom would always make amazing Christmas rolls, so those were always really good.

Juan Williams: Wait. I saw your face when you said puppy. It was like, "Urgh.”

Katie Pavlich: Well, that's the best thing you can get at Christmas time.

Juan Williams: I think it's wonderful.

Jesse Watters: Oh, no.

Juan Williams: I thought you were saying maybe you had some reservations.

Katie Pavlich: Oh, never.

Juan Williams: No?

Katie Pavlich: Give me all of them.

Jesse Watters: You can also get a car with the big red bow on top. That beats a puppy any day.

Dana Perino: [LAUGHS]

Greg Gutfeld: You know, what's great? If you drive the car with the bow, and the gift is the bow. "Oh, look at the bow I got you.”

[LAUGHTER]

"I'll take it off my car that I got for myself."

Dana Perino: But if you got a Peloton, that would be great.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes.

Katie Pavlich: It would be great.

Juan Williams: Oh.

Katie Pavlich: Actually.

Juan Williams: You want to bring up controversy? Well, by the way, so mine is kind of sentimental. I remember once, you know, my dad wasn't there, and we didn't have much money. And my brother went out like on Christmas Eve. He said, "Come with me." And we went and we got the last Christmas tree on the Christmas tree lot, and we were dragging it home. Later in my life, I always think it reminded me of like, you know, peanuts or something.

Dana Perino: Yeah, yeah.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah. That's cute.

Juan Williams: All right. One last question. This one is an Instagram question, and it comes from Loretta Fogate [spelled phonetically] at Fogate.35. What's your favorite Christmas movie?

Dana Perino: That's mine.

Juan Williams: Who wants to start? Oh, wait.

[cross talk]

Dana Perino: I never saw it.

Jesse Watters: You never saw Die Hard?

Dana Perino: I don't think so. I think it's --

Jesse Watters: Dana.

Dana Perino: But I do think it's a Christmas movie. [LAUGHS]

Juan Williams: It is a Christmas movie.

Jesse Watters: I saw Home Alone the other day, and, man, that movie is good.

Juan Williams: That's a fun movie.

Katie Pavlich: That's funny. Yeah.

Jesse Watters: And then I saw Home Alone Two, and it's underrated.

Juan Williams: I've not seen it.

Jesse Watters: People think Home Alone Two is not that good. It stands up there.

Juan Williams: By the way, why were you watching?

Jesse Watters: You know, Netflix has a lot of stuff --

Juan Williams: [LAUGHS] All right.

Jesse Watters: -- and Disney +. And, you know, it keeps going after you finished one movie.

Juan Williams: And it's picked up.

Katie Pavlich: It's a Wonderful Life. A classic.

Juan Williams: Yeah. That's a great movie.

Dana Perino: That's a good one.

Juan Williams: That's a great movie.

Greg Gutfeld: Clockwork Orange.

Jesse Watters: [LAUGHS] You are dark.

Greg Gutfeld: It's good. The book is good --

Dana Perino: And Love, Actually was --

Greg Gutfeld: -- the move is better.

Dana Perino: -- a great Christmas movie.

Greg Gutfeld: One of the worst movies ever made.

Juan Williams: And now we're going to start a Christmas dinner fight between Dana and Greg.

Katie Pavlich: Dana started the big debate, which is, is Die Hard Christmas movie?

Juan Williams: It is -- but it is a Christmas movie, isn't it?

Katie Pavlich: There are people who would disagree.

Juan Williams: Why?

Jesse Watters: What happens on Christmas?

Juan Williams: What do you mean?

Jesse Watters: The movie.

Dana Perino: [LAUGHS]

Katie Pavlich: I mean, I would say it is.

Jesse Watters: It happens on Christmas.

Juan Williams: Yeah. Oh, the movie does take place on Christmas. Yes.

Katie Pavlich: But is -- I don't know. I there are some people who say it is not. I'm not one of them. So I don't know.

Juan Williams: By the way, the other day I was watching a cable and up came Miracle on 34th Street, which I think is a pretty good movie.

Dana Perino: I think that is a good one, too.

Juan Williams: You know what? It got like two stars.

Jesse Watters: Yeah. Never seen it.

Dana Perino: Oh.

Juan Williams: Come on.

Jesse Watters: You haven't seen Die Hard.

[LAUGHTER]

Get out of here.

Juan Williams: All right. We're just getting started. Stay right there, The Five's Christmas special returns with more funny questions straight ahead. Stay with us.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

Dana Perino: Well, welcome back to our Christmas special. We're going to answer more of your questions. I got some good ones here. All right, Greg, I'm going to start with you.

Greg Gutfeld: Yay.

Dana Perino: This is from Joanel C. [spelled phonetically] from Facebook. Would you rather live where it only snows or the temperature never falls below 100 degrees?

Greg Gutfeld: These are weird questions because I don't believe in the prison of two ideas, Dana.

Dana Perino: Oh, you have an unbending mind.

Greg Gutfeld: But to say that you can either have this or have this, that's not how the world works. There's an infinite --

Dana Perino: It's just a fun question.

Greg Gutfeld: Is it a fun question really?

Dana Perino: Yeah. It's so fun.

Greg Gutfeld: I would definitely go with heat over cold because I could always have a nice swimming pool built. You could always cool down with air conditioning, but when it's cold, you just don't want to go outside because it's cold.

Dana Perino: I think you're going to say heat.

Katie Pavlich: Heat. Yes.

Dana Perino: Even though you grew up in the snow. Jesse, don't change --

Katie Pavlich: I mean, I like--

Jesse Watters: I'm looking at the question.

Katie Pavlich: -- I like I'm looking at the pine trees in the snow. I just couldn't do it forever. It's like a weekend thing.

Dana Perino: Yes. Snow once in a while or -- over 100 degrees, though. Jesse? Over a --

Katie Pavlich: Is it dry?

Jesse Watters: What kind of heat is it, then?

Katie Pavlich: Yeah.

Jesse Watters: What is it, Dana?

Dana Perino: It doesn't say.

Jesse Watters: Is it a dry heat?

Dana Perino: Which would you prefer?

Jesse Watters: A dry heat.

Dana Perino: Yes.

Jesse Watters: Yes. I'm going to take the under.

Dana Perino: Okay.

[LAUGHTER]

Greg Gutfeld: We're going to end up there anyway at some point. It'll be called Florida, though,.

Dana Perino: That's right.

[LAUGHTER]

[cross talk]

That's a moist heat.

Juan Williams: The village has --

Dana Perino: That's a humid head. All right. Juan, do you like heat?

Juan Williams: I like heat because I don't like cold weather. But I do think that it's pretty special to have snow. I guess, you know, because I've been indoctrinated by American visions of what a perfect Christmas is, and a perfect Christmas is snowy.

Dana Perino: I think if Kennedy were here, she would say snow.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah, probably.

Dana Perino: Pretty sure. Right. She wants to ski and snowboard and all that fun stuff. All right. Another question from Karen D. What was the one chore you disliked doing growing up? Jesse, did you have a chore?

Jesse Watters: Yeah, I had to do the baseboards. You know, the baseboards --

Dana Perino: Oh, yeah.

Jesse Watters: -- at the bottom of the wall near the floor. And so my mom would say, "Get a bucket, fill it with hot water, puts some Mr. Clean in there and then take a wet rag and dip it in there and then just scrub the baseboards all over the house. You know, that gave me back problems I think. Bending over so much as a young child I think it was abusive.

Dana Perino: Katie what about you?

Katie Pavlich: You know, your mom would say she has back problems for having a kid, right?

Jesse Watters: Yeah.

Katie Pavlich: That's worse. I bartered with my brother not to have to clean the bathrooms.

Dana Perino: Oh what would you barter?

Katie Pavlich: So we would trade chores. So I would vacuum and do like the garage --

Dana Perino: I love to vacuum.

Katie Pavlich: -- or the kitchen, empty the dishwasher but he would cover the bathrooms.

[CROSSTALK]

Dana Perino: You can make like the nice the like the lines in the carpet.

Jesse Watters: That's not a chore.

Dana Perino: Juan.

Katie Pavlich: That's a chore.

Jesse Watters: Vacuuming.

Dana Perino: Yes. Oh really want to tell women all across --

Katie Pavlich: It's a chore.

Dana Perino: -- America vacuuming's not a chore.

Jesse Watters: Compared to what I did the baseboards. That's grueling. Vacuuming, you stand up and go [makes sounds]

Katie Pavlich: Not if you get under the couch.

Dana Perino: Unless you're like Greg and you have a Roomba.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah. That would help.

Dana Perino: Juan, did you have a chore you didn't like?

Juan Williams: You know, I didn't like taking out the trash. And the reason is that if you live in an apartment building, you have to go out in the hallway, and then down to the garbage chute. Right? And sometimes there'd be bad guys there, Dana.

[LAUGHTER]

Dana Perino: I know. I know well. Greg, what about you?

Greg Gutfeld: Trying to think if I really had any chores?

Dana Perino: Oh, spoiled.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah. I mean, no but I got paid for what I did. Is that a chore?

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Greg Gutfeld: It's mowing lawns, washing cars.

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Greg Gutfeld: I did a lot of fun stuff. Usually wore cutoff jeans, shirtless.

[LAUGHTER]

Dana Perino: Did you get paid for that?

Greg Gutfeld: Yes. Extra actually.

[LAUGHTER]

[cross talk]

Katie Pavlich: -- passing by.

Jesse Watters: The neighbors threw money at me.

Juan Williams: I'll tell you --

Jesse Watters: "Bend over.”

Greg Gutfeld: It was so degrading.

Juan Williams: Those California girls.

Greg Gutfeld: It was so degrading.

Dana Perino: I tell you, the worst chore for us was changing the cat litter box.

Jesse Watters: That's not good.

Dana Perino: That is not a fun chore.

Katie Pavlich: Oh I can do another one. We had to go out -- we had pigeons for the Labradors that we would train.

Greg Gutfeld: Oh, interesting.

Katie Pavlich: And we had to feed the pigeons, and it was really cold.

Dana Perino: What did you feed them?

Katie Pavlich: Just like pigeon food. I don't know. Bird feed.

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Katie Pavlich: We had to go out and feed them.

Juan Williams: Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Katie Pavlich: In like 20 degree weather. It was terrible.

Juan Williams: There's an area there's an unbelievable story hidden in there.

Katie Pavlich: I'm not going to tell the rats because PETA will be after me.

Dana Perino: All right. Well--

Juan Williams: Oh, that's why you had the pigeons.

Dana Perino: All right. Greg, if you could teach one college class, what would it be?

Greg Gutfeld: Oh, it would have -- the media and why they lie to you. That's what it would be.

Dana Perino: Okay.

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: I think he would be at liberty.

Greg Gutfeld: It's already being done.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: I would teach ambush journalism 101. It was really the only thing I was ever good at --

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]

Jesse Watters: -- and I've done it more than anybody.

Greg Gutfeld: That's true.

Jesse Watters: And I know how to do it.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.

Dana Perino: That's true. Katie.

Katie Pavlich: I would teach a history class that's pro-America because it doesn't really happen.

Dana Perino: Oh.

Greg Gutfeld: That's so not a Fox News answer.

Katie Pavlich: Whatever. I don't care. That's what I would do.

Dana Perino: Juan?

Juan Williams: I guess it's great ideas. I would be interested -- you know, I was a philosophy major. I think you were a philosophy major.

Jesse Watters: Yeah, and then I changed the history.

Juan Williams: There you go.

Jesse Watters: After I got to cont.

Juan Williams: I wish.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: I was like, "Uh, I'm changing majors."

Juan Williams: Actually, now at this point in life I wish that I had done history or political science, but I did philosophy, and I am still interested in great ideas. Like how do you live a good life? That would be, you know.

Dana Perino: I would teach a class on, especially for women, in finding their strong voice because it helps in all sorts aspects of your life, career, being able to actually present in a way that will help make sure that you have opportunities for promotion and things like that.

Greg Gutfeld: In the spirit, in the Christmas spirit, let me tell you, Greg, and I think I agree that they should teach you how to balance a checkbook, how to invest in stock --

Dana Perino: I think the parents should do that.

Juan Williams: Well, I mean, somebody should do it. Right?

Dana Perino: Like you shouldn't have to pay tuition to have somebody tell you how to balance your checkbook.

Juan Williams: Well no, there are lots of life skills that I just didn't. I don't know.

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Katie Pavlich: We used to have home ec, and then they took it away.

Dana Perino: I loved home ec. I made, a cupcake pillow.

[LAUGHTER]

Okay. Greg.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes.

Dana Perino: This is from Henry S. What is your favorite time of the day and why?

Greg Gutfeld: Oh, geez my favorite time of the day is when you wake up and you realize you have like two more hours of sleep. That's my favorite. So like --

Dana Perino: Oh, and you can go right back to sleep?

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah, I'm talking at like 10:00 a.m. like when you wake up at 10, and, "It's only 10:00 a.m." and then I just go back to sleep.

Jesse Watters: [LAUGHS] "I don't have to be at work until 5."

[LAUGHTER]

Greg Gutfeld: Yes. The best time is when you wake up and you still have time to sleep. Everybody does that. They always wake, and they're so excited when they look at it and it says --

Katie Pavlich: That's true.

Juan Williams: You know what, you what this means?

Greg Gutfeld: What?

Juan Williams: You're an old man.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes. [LAUGHS]

Juan Williams: Because I can tell you from personal experience --

Greg Gutfeld: I knew that.

Dana Perino: Juan, your favorite time of day?

Juan Williams: Well, I would guess that it's, you know, like work is done, and I don't have any writing or something to do. And I just like, "Hey, this is my time. I can have a beer. I can sit and watch The Five on rerun or baseball. Or I can call up Jesse and complain."

Dana Perino: You watch The Five on rerun?

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: I have, but I don't. I don't make it -- but I do watch -- you know what I watch?

Jesse Watters: He's watching this right now.

Juan Williams: You know what I watch? I watch I watch Family Feud.

Katie Pavlich: I love the Family Feud.

Dana Perino: Ah, nice.

Katie Pavlich: Favorite time of day I think dawn, because no one else is awake. You can go get stuff done. You're by yourself. You have some peace and quiet. Get your coffee, go workout, read a little bit.

Dana Perino: Get a lot of stuff done.

Katie Pavlich: And then you have the rest of the day.

Dana Perino: Jesse?

Katie Pavlich: As long as you get plenty of sleep.

Dana Perino: Jesse?

Jesse Watters: Yeah, I'm a morning person like Katie, but I also like 8:59. You want to know why? Hannity is almost on, and it's just that anticipation of the monologue.

[LAUGHTER]

It's just so good.

Dana Perino: I like dusk or the golden hour.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah.

Jesse Watters: Oh, yeah.

Dana Perino: Not when I'm working, but like on a Saturday and Sunday. That's definitely my favorite time. All right. Who would be the first person we'd contact in an emergency? Here at Fox News, the answer when The Five's Christmas fan mail special continues.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

Mike Emmanuel: Merry Christmas from Fox News in Washington, I'm Mike Emmanuel. The Five continues in a moment, but first, this Special Report news break. Breaking tonight from the Middle East, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu reportedly rushed to a bomb shelter. A rocket was fired in the direction of where he was holding a campaign event. President Trump and first lady Melania are wishing each and every American a Merry Christmas. They're also sending their holiday greetings to our troops stationed around the globe. And in a written statement, the president's calling for deeper understanding and respect as we head into a new year.

Meanwhile, the Cal in California, the Democratic governor, just paroled an illegal immigrant from Cambodia who had spent 22 years in prison for killing a rival gang member. He was then immediately turned over to federal ICE authorities for possible deportation. I'll be back at 6:00 p.m. Eastern time for a live special report now back to The Five.

Jesse Watters: Merry Christmas, everybody. Welcome back to The Five's Christmas special. We're going to answer some more of your questions from social media. All right. Number one, Facebook question, Kimberly D. -- if you had an emergency, who at Fox News would be the first person you called for help? Juan?

Juan Williams: Well, it would have to do with the nature of the emergency. Now if someone's trying to kill me, I guess I'd call security.

Jesse Watters: Okay.

Greg Gutfeld: It would probably be me.

Juan Williams: Yes.

Greg Gutfeld: You couldn't call me cause I'd be chasing you with an ax.

Juan Williams: No, no, no. Can't be you. That's not fair. You'd have to protect me, Greg.

Jesse Watters: Like who is your emergency contact?

Juan Williams: At Fox News?

Jesse Watters: Yes. Like if there is a problem.

Juan Williams: I would guess it's Megan Albano who is the boss of this show, right?

Jesse Watters: Okay. Call the boss. Okay. Not the person I would call but Dana.

Dana Perino: I'm going to go with Sean Hannity.

Jesse Watters: Why is that?

Dana Perino: Because he always takes your calls. He has the resources to help you. And he will make you feel better about whatever has happened.

Jesse Watters: That is true.

Katie Pavlich: That is true.

Jesse Watters: Sean does have a very tender, loving touch.

[LAUGHTER]

I would definitely call Dr. Marc Siegel. because that, you know, speaks to the emergency that I would be having.

Greg Gutfeld: That, you took mine.

Jesse Watters: I did?

Greg Gutfeld: Yes.

Female Speaker: Yes.

Greg Gutfeld: Because I think I must call Dr. Marc Siegel at least three times a day, 99 percent for no reason at all. So I'm going to have to go with Kilmeade because Kilmeade is always here.

Jesse Watters: That's true.

Greg Gutfeld: And whenever you see Kilmeade, do you notice he always has a backpack?

Juan Williams: What's in that?

Greg Gutfeld: He's like that oldest guy with a backpack, he's always walking around with -- so I figure it must got stuff in the backpack --

Jesse Watters: Yes.

Greg Gutfeld: -- in case I'm trapped in an elevator. Actually, you know what?

Jesse Watters: What?

Greg Gutfeld: Rick Leventhal. You think about Rick Le -- he would -- Rick Leventhal is our, is our --

Dana Perino: Driver.

Greg Gutfeld: John McClane.

Jesse Watters: Oh, right.

Greg Gutfeld: If you're stuck in an elevator, remember when he was stuck in the elevator, when Leventhal was stuck in an elevator? Do you remember that?

Dana Perino: No.

Katie Pavlich: No.

Greg Gutfeld: Oh, look it up. Google it. But he'd crawl through the little slot and get you out of there.

Jesse Watters: The man is --

Greg Gutfeld: Leventhal, Kilmeade, Dr. Siegel -- that's your super friends. And Hannity.

Juan Williams: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I thought you'd call Tyrus.

Greg Gutfeld: That's true. But Tyrus lives, you know, he doesn't live nearby.

Jesse Watters: He's not on-site like Kilmeade.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes, I need somebody on-site.

Katie Pavlich: I would call Johnny Joey Jones because he's a Marine. He would know what to do. And he knows all the other Marines so they could come with medical supplies and guns and all helicopters. Everything we would need [unintelligible]

Jesse Watters: Call the cavalry.

Dana Perino: Hannity has that, too.

Jesse Watters: That's true. And he needs it. All right, Instagram question from Gunner Baker. "If you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life -- no pressure -- where would it be and why?" Greg?

Greg Gutfeld: I can't say because it would put the poor place out of business. There's a Chinese restaurant that has my favorite ribs, which I order maybe three times a week when I'm on my way home. It's downtown.

Jesse Watters: Every night, ribs for the rest of your life.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes, but then put it with Chinese food. They have like 300 other options and also they got fried chicken.

Jesse Watters: That's true. Such a healthy guy, Greg Gutfeld.

Juan Williams: I think if you were Jewish, that'd be your Christmas dinner.

Greg Gutfeld: I guess that's true.

Jesse Watters: That's it. That's where everybody is eating the night. Right? All right, Juan?

Juan Williams: Well, it depends. If I was in Washington, it'd be Ocean Air, which is a great seafood restaurant. But if I'm in New York, I go across the street to Oceana, which is another great seafood -- because we have a wide variety of seafood.

Jesse Watters: Wow, you're getting paid well, Juan.

Juan Williams: I know some of these people don't eat seafood. I don't understand. I love seafood.

Jesse Watters: He doesn't eat it.

Greg Gutfeld: Nothing.

Jesse Watters: You should hear what he says about the ocean.

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: Didn't you hear what Dana said?.

Jesse Watters: I know, both of them have issues.

Juan Williams: Okay.

Jesse Watters: What do you think, Katie?

Katie Pavlich: I would do that place called Acqua Al 2.

Juan Williams: Oh, I love that.

Katie Pavlich: In D.C.

Juan Williams: Yes.

Katie Pavlich: Because it's an Italian place, but they have everything, salad, steak and the best pasta in town.

Juan Williams: Not only that, they have all the Washington Nationals eat there.

Katie Pavlich: That's true. You can hang out and party.

Jesse Watters: Is your answer Del Frisco's because my answer is Del Frisco's.

Dana Perino: My answer is not Del Frisco's because obviously you're doing very well, and your wallet must be very fat if you're eating at Del Frisco's.

Jesse Watters: Well, there's other options. You don't have to get the crab.

Dana Perino: No, I want to mention something that's not as famous, but Greg knows this restaurant. It's the West Side Steakhouse.

Greg Gutfeld: Ah, yeah.

Jesse Watters: Oh.

Dana Perino: It's on 10th Avenue in New York. And a great owner and lovely -- his lovely wife there. And while they have a wonderful menu, they'll make you anything you want.

Jesse Watters: Anything?

Dana Perino: Anything you want.

Greg Gutfeld: Wait. People are going to now go there and start ordering things that they don't have. They go "Dana Perino says, I want lobster thermidors." [LAUGHTER] [unintelligible]

Jesse Watters: I was just about to say that.

Dana Perino: Well, they could probably make it.

Jesse Watters: Yes.

Greg Gutfeld: I don't think they have lobster there, but who knows? Maybe they do.

Jesse Watters: Okay, well, I'm going to go there and test that theory, Dana. You guys better be ready for us. All right. Instagram question from Le Groan Ellen [spelled phonetically], "what do you miss most about your hometown?" I miss the cheese sticks in Philly. Just going out, getting a cheese steak anytime. No car.

Greg Gutfeld: Where'd you go, Pat's?

Jesse Watters: -- in your cheese steak, no calories.

Greg Gutfeld: You go to Pat's?

Jesse Watters: Those are for tourists. No one really goes there.

Greg Gutfeld: Wait, where did you go then?

Jesse Watters: Local places like Chubby's, Dalessandro's, you know.

Greg Gutfeld: Okay.

Jesse Watters: What about you?

Greg Gutfeld: What do I -- I miss the [unintelligible] mall in the old days, like the old-fashioned shopping malls where you had like the Chess King, Wet Seal, Spencer's. It was just the tackiest place in the world. But that's where everybody went when you were from like 7 years old to 17 was the mall. Now we have it on. Now we have Amazon.

Jesse Watters: Is that where you wore those short jean shorts with the tank top?

Greg Gutfeld: Yes. That's where I'd get my -- never mind.

[LAUGHTER]

I almost said -- it was going to be edited out anyway, so why say it?

Juan Williams: What is the Chess King?

Greg Gutfeld: It was just a terrible clothing store.

Juan Williams: Oh.

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Greg Gutfeld: Merry Go Round. Remember Merry Go Round?

Jesse Watters: I've never heard of any of these places.

Dana Perino: Boutique Sophisticate?

[LAUGHTER]

You probably shopped there.

Greg Gutfeld: No, I was a Baby GAP.

Dana Perino: Baby GAPper [spelled phonetically]

Jesse Watters: Dana, what do you miss?

Dana Perino: Mountain views.

Jesse Watters: Mountain views.

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Jesse Watters: Because you didn't really have a town.

Greg Gutfeld: You should go to Mountain View, California.

Dana Perino: Yeah, I should.

Greg Gutfeld: Terrible joke.

Jesse Watters: We're going to edit that out. What about you? What do you miss?

Katie Pavlich: I miss mountains and open space.

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Katie Pavlich: Hiking. Clear air, clean air.

Dana Perino: I miss driving.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah. Driving around.

Dana Perino: I don't drive any.

Katie Pavlich: Eighty miles an hour speed limit.

Jesse Watters: That's the speed limit?

Katie Pavlich: Yep. That's what it was.

Greg Gutfeld: That's amazing.

Katie Pavlich: Yep, everyone goes [unintelligible]

Greg Gutfeld: In California -- I mean, in New York, the average, what is it three miles an hour in Manhattan? That's the average.

Juan Williams: That's terrible.

Jesse Watters: Yeah.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah. Did we do you, Juan? What do you [unintelligible]?

Juan Williams: No, I mean, look, it doesn't fit, but I mean, it's the truth. I was like a street urchin in Brooklyn, New York. So playing basketball on the streets, stickball on the street, being on the streets to the point where people are worried about what's going on with this guy. I liked it actually; I had a great time.

Jesse Watters: You just don't miss taking out the garbage.

Juan Williams: That's true.

Jesse Watters: That's true. Okay Facebook question from Paul A. -- how do you deal with a bad hair day? I don't know. I've never had one.

[LAUGHTER]

Can't answer that question. Katie, what do you do?

Katie Pavlich: I just put my hair in a ponytail.

Jesse Watters: Ponytail?

Katie Pavlich: Yeah, or a bun.

[CROSSTALK]

Jesse Watters: Ponytail. Juan?

Juan Williams: I go to makeup. We have professionals here.

Juan Williams: I need help.

Jesse Watters: Greg, what do you throw a hat on?

Greg Gutfeld: I just adjust it. I just adjust or I get another one.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: Okay. Do we have time for one more?

Juan Williams: Wait, wait.

Greg Gutfeld: They've been teasing for the last two minutes.

Juan Williams: Wait, but Dana never answered.

Dana Perino: I did. Ponytail.

Juan Williams: Oh, ponytail.

Jesse Watters: Ponytail. Come on, we got to go. Greg, we got to go. What is the most opinion that we have? Find out when we return.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

Greg Gutfeld: Now, that's a holiday song. Fifty third and third by the Ramones.

[LAUGHTER]

Look it up, has an interesting meaning. All right. First question, Instagram from Joni, I guess. What's your most unpopular opinion? I think donuts are overrated. That's not an unpopular opinion. That's just stupid.

Katie Pavlich: [LAUGHS]

Greg Gutfeld: You're just a stupid person.

Juan Williams: Wow.

Greg Gutfeld: No. Donuts are the greatest thing ever made. It just they give you a little heartburn because they're so filled with so much sugar. Dana, what's your most unpopular opinion?

Dana Perino: So, I think it's that I still am on the fence and against the legalization of marijuana.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah, that's okay.

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Greg Gutfeld: That's all right. That's not so --

Dana Perino: That's unpopular now.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah. But that's all right. That upsets Jesse because he's high right now.

Juan Williams: [LAUGHS]

Greg Gutfeld: Jesse, I think you're --

Jesse Watters: What's up, dude?

Juan Williams: [LAUGHS]

Greg Gutfeld: You're flying.

Jesse Watters: Oh, man. I was just going back in time for a second, man. This morning was so cool.

[LAUGHTER]

All the lights on the trees.

Greg Gutfeld: All right. What's your unpopular opinion?

Jesse Watters: You know, usually people don't disagree with me. I don't have a lot of unpopular opinions.

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS] That's so true.

Jesse Watters: I know my unpopular opinion at home is that Trump is a great president.

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS] Yeah.

Jesse Watters: That is a very unpopular opinion in the Watters household.

Greg Gutfeld: That is true. That is true. Juan, unpopular opinion.

Juan Williams: Are you kidding? I work here.

[LAUGHTER]

Come on. Be for real.

Jesse Watters: That's why we have you.

Juan Williams: Yeah, really.

Greg Gutfeld: Katie?

Katie Pavlich: I would say my unpopular opinion is that trophy hunting is actually beneficial in a lot of places in Africa.

Multiple Speakers: Oh.

Jesse Watters: That is probably unpopular.

Dana Perino: And she's brave.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.

Juan Williams: Yes. She is.

Katie Pavlich: I told you.

Greg Gutfeld: Mine is obvious. I don't like this time of the season. Don't like it.

Dana Perino: But wait. Can we go back.

Greg Gutfeld: What?

Dana Perino: Why is it beneficial?

Katie Pavlich: To certain populations in Africa?

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Katie Pavlich: Because it sustains a lot of the local populations with not only food, but jobs, and an economy, and I could go on and on. But --

Jesse Watters: It's about sustainable, Dana.

Katie Pavlich: -- if you ask the people who live there, who are hunting guides and that kind of thing, they will say, "We actually like this kind of thing and Westerner should probably stay out of it.”

Dana Perino: Well, I've got to read up on that.

Katie Pavlich: I'll send you some pieces.

Greg Gutfeld: Fun Christmas topic.

Dana Perino: Yeah. [LAUGHS]

Greg Gutfeld: Killing animals.

Katie Pavlich: Sorry.

Juan Williams: [LAUGHS]

Greg Gutfeld: All right. Tom asks --

Jesse Watters: Sorry, Rudolph.

Juan Williams: Wait, wait, wait. We can have a new segment.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah. Animals are tasty.

Juan Williams: Animals were great.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

Katie Pavlich: They are yummy. I bet people are eating them today.

Dana Perino: Yeah, animals were great tasting.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes. In your dream house, what is one weird room -- this is a scary question -- feature you would include in your dream house? What would it be? Get it over with, Jesse.

Jesse Watters: How did you know I was chomping at the bit?

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS] Yeah.

Jesse Watters: No, I've always --

Greg Gutfeld: Guess what the room is?

Jesse Watters: -- wanted --

Greg Gutfeld: You're basically tied up.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: We have a safe word.

[LAUGHTER]

No. I want like a spa in the house with steam or a sauna and then an ice plunge --

Juan Williams: Wow.

Dana Perino: You'd do the ice plunge?

Jesse Watters: Yeah, definitely.

Dana Perino: I would never do an ice plunge.

Greg Gutfeld: All right. Dream house. One weird rumor feature.

Katie Pavlich: One weird room or feature? I like the movie theater in the house. I think that's really cool.

Greg Gutfeld: That's not weird though, that's -- you'll be able to do that in a few years.

Katie Pavlich: I mean, weird.

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]

Jesse Watters: Keep your head down, and keep working hard, Katie.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah, stay late.

Katie Pavlich: Don't talk about we just talked about.

Greg Gutfeld: Dana.

Dana Perino: I would like a room that was dedicated to all the Pilates apparati [sic]--

Greg Gutfeld: Oh.

Dana Perino: Is that the plural? Apparati?

Greg Gutfeld: It might be. Pilates apparati.

Dana Perino: Apparati.

Greg Gutfeld: That sounds like the name of a dancer I knew.

[LAUGHTER]

Dana Perino: What was his last name?

Greg Gutfeld: Dana.

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: Go, Dana.

Jesse Watters: Roasted like a Christmas goose.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes. All right. Juan?

Juan Williams: A cafeteria.

Greg Gutfeld: Oh.

Jesse Watters: In your house?

Juan Williams: Wouldn't that be cool, Jesse?

Greg Gutfeld: No. You -- okay. When I was young, I wanted my own fast food restaurant in my house.

Juan Williams: [LAUGHS] There you go.

Greg Gutfeld: That was my rich fantasy. There was going to be Jack in the Box, which could be the first floor. You can come home and order anything off the menu.

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: Yeah, really.

Greg Gutfeld: But then you realize as you get older that you can't do that because you be dead by thirty.

Katie Pavlich: True.

Juan Williams: So rich people, though, I noticed oftentimes they have gyms in their house.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.

Juan Williams: Like they have a basketball court right there.

Dana Perino: That'd be nice.

Juan Williams: Right. What --

Jesse Watters: You're rich, Juan.

Juan Williams: I'm not that rich. [LAUGHS] I don't know.

Jesse Watters: Juan, I think you can afford a court. Come on.

Juan Williams: In my house?

Jesse Watters: Juan, you've been on The Five for 15 years.

Juan Williams: [LAUGHS] Man, give me a break.

Greg Gutfeld: And that's even 7 years longer than The Five has been around.

[LAUGHTER]

I want a moat, but I want an indoor moat. Like I want to be able to swim around my house. So it's about this wide --

Dana Perino: Like a lazy river?

[LAUGHTER]

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah, I want a lazy river in my house. So I can just swim -- now, I live in an apartment, but it would be great just to be swimming around the house. Like, oh --

Dana Perino: Stock of wine.

Greg Gutfeld: -- have little cocktails, have a bar, a swim up bar like they --

Dana Perino: Kind of cool.

Greg Gutfeld: -- have at those all-inclusive resorts.

Jesse Watters: Jack in the Box. Robins.

Juan Williams: How do you --

Greg Gutfeld: Just swim around. I would never leave home.

Juan Williams: Living --

Katie Pavlich: The animals in the --

Juan Williams: There is a house like this. You know that?

Greg Gutfeld: What's that?

Juan Williams: In Wisconsin with the -- the river goes through the house.

Jesse Watters: It's called Neverland, Juan. We don't like to talk about it.

Greg Gutfeld: All right. They're yelling at me. What's the last song played on your phone? The answer when we come back.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

Katie Pavlich: Welcome back. Greg hates that song as well. We are answering your questions on our Christmas fan mail special. So this question comes from Instagram from John Gone 24 [spelled phonetically] If you looked up your iPod to the studio speakers right now, what song is playing? Greg, A, do you have an iPod, and, B, which song was playing? [LAUGHS]

Greg Gutfeld: I do have an iPod. I'm the only one -- probably only person left on the planet that has an actual iPod.

Katie Pavlich: Part of your --

Greg Gutfeld: I like it separate from my phone. Moon Diagrams, some strange band. Pretty good.

Katie Pavlich: Okay.

Greg Gutfeld: One album. It's called Moon Diagrams. That was what I had listened to on the plane.

Jesse Watters: I'm going to just hit play.

Greg Gutfeld: Oh, jeez.

[music playing]

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS]

Katie Pavlich: Yeah, right. I don't believe you.

Jesse Watters: That was the last thing I played. String Q.

Katie Pavlich: [affirmative]

Dana Perino: Why?

Katie Pavlich: When were you playing this?

Greg Gutfeld: That is fantastic. [LAUGHS]

Jesse Watters: I don't know. I just -- it was paused. I just hit play. It was the last thing on my phone.

Katie Pavlich: Did you play this to have people think that you actually listen to this kind of music?

Jesse Watters: I was a flutist for 15 years.

Katie Pavlich: You were?

Jesse Watters: Yes.

Katie Pavlich: Okay.

Jesse Watters: Ten years.

Dana Perino: You were?

Katie Pavlich: Okay.

Jesse Watters: Classically trained.

Katie Pavlich: All right. There you go. Dana?

Juan Williams: [LAUGHS]

Dana Perino: Well, I just looked it up, and it's a 90s country remix by Walker Hayes.

Katie Pavlich: Nice.

Jesse Watters: Oh, shocker.

[LAUGHTER]

Dana Perino: At least I'm consistent.

Katie Pavlich: That's true.

Jesse Watters: Oh, I'm unpredictable.

Katie Pavlich: Juan? Song? Music?

Juan Williams: Played Jesus I Never Forget by Sam Cooke.

Katie Pavlich: Okay.

Juan Williams: And the Soul Stirrers.

Katie Pavlich: Mine was the Chain by Fleetwood Mac.

Greg Gutfeld: Oh, brief album.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah, throwback.

Jesse Watters: How's that go again? Never break the --

Katie Pavlich: I'm not going to sing again, I already sang Feliz Navidad.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: Yeah.

Katie Pavlich: I'm not going to sing another song.

Dana Perino: She draws the line.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah, I'm drawing the line, but only Spanish songs are what I sing because we sound a little better. You don't have to worry about your accent. All right. Next question. What photo is on your cell phone background? Jesse?

Jesse Watters: I have a beach background, some waves.

Katie Pavlich: Oh, nice.

Dana Perino: He's got the one that comes with the phone.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: Is that the default? I have the default.

Katie Pavlich: Dana.

Dana Perino: I have a picture of Jasper and me at a party in the summer.

Katie Pavlich: Okay, nice.

Greg Gutfeld: I have nothing. Nothing.

Katie Pavlich: You're default too?

Jesse Watters: You have default?

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah.

Jesse Watters: Yeah. Buddy.

Greg Gutfeld: I don't even know you could do it. That's good news to me.

Katie Pavlich: Want me to show you?

Greg Gutfeld: No, I'm good.

Katie Pavlich: You can do a wallpaper or a photo. Juan?

Juan Williams: I think it's wallpaper. I don't think I have one.

Katie Pavlich: So is this a woman thing, Dana?

Dana Perino: I mean --

Katie Pavlich: I have a picture.

Dana Perino: Obviously, it's people who know how to use their iPhones.

Juan Williams: The smart people.

Katie Pavlich: Want me to help you?

Dana Perino: I'm doing this --

Jesse Watters: Oh, no, I don't want Jaspar on my phone.

Katie Pavlich: Both pictures of my husband and my dog.

Greg Gutfeld: That's what it'll be. You won't able to get it off.

Juan Williams: I like -- fix it.

Katie Pavlich: You should choose one. It's kind of fun. I'm not going to choose one for you.

Jesse Watters: Okay.

Katie Pavlich: That would be good. Okay. Question number three from Facebook from Olivia P. What is one physical item you think everyone should have? This is hard.

Greg Gutfeld: Physical item?

Katie Pavlich: Physical item. Dana.

Dana Perino: I think everybody should have a really nice leather good.

Katie Pavlich: Okay.

Dana Perino: Like a whether it be a purse, a duffel bag, like something, like a nice leather goods. I think that's very good thing to have.

Katie Pavlich: Pair of boots.

Greg Gutfeld: Sheets.

Katie Pavlich: Sheets?

[LAUGHTER]

Greg Gutfeld: Leather seats.

Jesse Watters: Leather sheets?

Dana Perino: I mean, you try buy it --

[cross talk]

Greg Gutfeld: -- very broad with your "leather goods." That could be anything, chaps.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah. Everyone needs a good pair of chaps.

Dana Perino: A [unintelligible] leather boot?

Greg Gutfeld: [LAUGHS] Yes.

Katie Pavlich: It's true.

Greg Gutfeld: Yes.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah.

Jesse Watters: I think everyone needs a nice pair of shoes. Men especially because women, the first thing they look at is your feet, and they judge you on the shoes you wear.

Katie Pavlich: I don't think that’s true --

Jesse Watters: I've read this thousands of times.

[cross talk]

Greg Gutfeld: You are like -- you're a font of conventional wisdom.

[LAUGHTER]

I know what I've heard it from you I've already heard it.

[LAUGHTER]

Jesse Watters: There's more where came from.

[cross talk]

Katie Pavlich: Juan, what do you think I should have? One item.

Juan Williams: I didn't know. I was thinking like a nice suit in case you got to go someplace. I don't know.

Katie Pavlich: I would say a life straw.

Jesse Watters: A what?

Katie Pavlich: It filters out your water in case the water's bad.

Jesse Watters: Oh.

Katie Pavlich: A life straw.

Juan Williams: I never heard of that.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah it's a survival skill.

Juan Williams: You know what?

Katie Pavlich: You can buy them on Amazon.

Juan Williams: It's not a skill, it's an item.

Katie Pavlich: Well, true, but it's a skill to buy one. Yeah. Life straw. Let's see. Number four, Instagram question from Barnes Gibby [spelled phonetically], what is your least favorite mode of transportation? Mine's a bus because there's no bathroom on a bus.

Greg Gutfeld: I don't like being carried.

[LAUGHTER]

Katie Pavlich: You don't like being carried.

Jesse Watters: Not what I heard, Greg. [LAUGHS] I've been carrying you the whole show.

[LAUGHS]

I don't like rickshaws. They rip you off, and they take forever.

Dana Perino: Yeah.

Jesse Watters: It's like such a scam.

Greg Gutfeld: Jesse, they're called petty cabs.

Dana Perino: [LAUGHS] A rickshaw?

Greg Gutfeld: They're called petty cabs.

Jesse Watters: So what's the difference?

Dana Perino: Yeah, there's a difference.

Jesse Watters: Where does a rickshaw --

Dana Perino: I'm going to say a slow train.

Katie Pavlich: A slow train.

Dana Perino: I hate a slow train. I like a fast train.

Katie Pavlich: Juan, you're least favorite?

Juan Williams: Boats. I don't like boats.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah.

Greg Gutfeld: I hate boats.

Dana Perino: I like a fairy.

Greg Gutfeld: I don't like boats.

Juan Williams: You don't like them?

Greg Gutfeld: No, I don't like the ground moving underneath me. It makes me sick.

Juan Williams: No, it's not cool. Not cool.

Katie Pavlich: You don't like a cruise ship to take you?

Greg Gutfeld: No, I'll get sea sickness in the slightest -- well, of course I would. [LAUGHS]

Katie Pavlich: All right. One more question. Right? One more? Okay. Instagram question from Cesar [spelled phonetically] When was the last time you got to tell someone I told you so?

Dana Perino: Oh, last hour.

Katie Pavlich: Okay. Greg.

Jesse Watters: I mean I can't wait to talk about this FISA stuff with Juan.

Juan Williams: Whoa --

Jesse Watters: You mean --

Juan Williams: That's the way I feel--

Jesse Watters: Earlier.

Juan Williams: That's the way I felt you know, but, you know, there's so much of this, but I don't want to be political. So I'm going leave that alone for the moment. But told you so would be like, you know, out with my kids, and they're eating something, and I said, "I told you that was nasty." You know, "Don't eat it.”

Katie Pavlich: [LAUGHS] Greg.

Jesse Watters: Yep, I've had that.

Greg Gutfeld: I never say because I can never remember what I've said.

Jesse Watters: [LAUGHS]

Katie Pavlich: Okay. All right. One more question from one more viewer up next.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

Juan Williams: This show has been an instant Christmas classic, so welcome back. It's time for one last Christmas question. What do you eat for Christmas dinner, Katie?

Katie Pavlich: Sometimes moose or elk?

Jesse Watters: Wow.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah.

Juan Williams: Really?

Jesse Watters: Moose is the plural of mice.

Katie Pavlich: No, it's not.

[LAUGHTER]

We learned this. No, it's not.

Juan Williams: All right, Jesse?

Jesse Watters: Ribeye or eye of the round.

Juan Williams: Yeah. Yeah.

Jesse Watters: Yes.

Juan Williams: You cook?

Jesse Watters: I did not cook it.

Juan Williams: You do not cook it. All right. Your mom?

Jesse Watters: My mother does.

Juan Williams: Merry Christmas, Mrs. Watters.

Jesse Watters: Merry Christmas from Texas.

Juan Williams: Yeah, really?

Dana Perino: Whatever is available because I usually am invited to go somewhere. [LAUGHS] But ham, usually, ham I think. Maybe steak. Oh, I don't know.

Jesse Watters: Like a honey backed ham?

Dana Perino: Also, really, truly is just I'm really there for the wine.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

Dana Perino: Which is great by that time.

Juan Williams: Greg?

Greg Gutfeld: I wonder do they sell those Honey baked ham stores?

Dana Perino: Yes. I just ordered one for as a gift for somebody that will arrive --

Greg Gutfeld: Yesterday.

Dana Perino: Yes.

Greg Gutfeld: I would probably do the -- I always have steak.

Jesse Watters: Yes.

Greg Gutfeld: Because I generally I'm eating at a restaurant at Christmas time, and it's the best way to do Christmas because, no, you don't have to do dishes.

Jesse Watters: No clean up.

Greg Gutfeld: You have the people around you--

Dana Perino: Leave a big tip.

Greg Gutfeld: You leave a big tip.

Jesse Watters: Well, depends on the service.

Greg Gutfeld: Yeah, of course.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, not this again.

[LAUGHTER]

Juan Williams: So I like ham, but I don't eat that much meat. But at Christmas time, there are two types of hams. There's a honey-baked ham that you talked about, but there's also a salted ham.

Jesse Watters: Oh, I don't like the salted ham.

Juan Williams: Yes, it's different. But, you know --

Jesse Watters: Too salty.

Greg Gutfeld: It's too briny.

Juan Williams: My brother-in-law is like a doctor and you watch him cut it.

Greg Gutfeld: Like a doctor?

Juan Williams: Well, he is a doctor. [LAUGHTER]

[CROSSTALK]

Juan Williams: Yeah, I don't want --

Greg Gutfeld: That would be a great business card. "Like a doctor."

Juan Williams: It is. But to watch him carve up that ham, you know, it's a big deal. Anyway, we had time for one last question. And of course, I mean, this may be the question of questions.

Katie Pavlich: Oh, no.

Juan Williams: The hardest person in your life to buy a gift for.

Katie Pavlich: Oh, my dad.

Juan Williams: Because?

Katie Pavlich: He has everything. He has everything.

Jesse Watters: Sophia, my one daughter. Yeah, she's impossible.

Juan Williams: Because?

Jesse Watters: Impossible. Well, the other Ellie is easy because it's so easy. But Sofia is impossible.

Juan Williams: Dana?

Dana Perino: I'm going to say my dad, too.

Katie Pavlich: Yeah.

Dana Perino: Yep.

Female Speaker: Dads are hard.

Juan Williams: Greg?

Greg Gutfeld: Clooney. Every time -- every year, I get something and then it's like he's super polite about it, but I know --

Jesse Watters: He has it.

Greg Gutfeld: He has it. So then it's like then I -- and I never see him use it, so --

Juan Williams: Oh, boy.

Katie Pavlich: Get a gift receipt.

Juan Williams: All right. Thanks for spending some of your holiday with us. We're going to see you back here tomorrow. Merry Christmas to everyone and to all, good night.

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