This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 16, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Katie Pavlich, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five."
Elizabeth Warren's high-profile rollout of her DNA test claiming she's part Native American appears to be backfiring, the Cherokee nation is rejecting the results, quote, using the DNA test to lay claim to any connections to the Cherokee nation or any tribal nation even vaguely is inappropriate and wrong. Senator Warren is undermining tribal interest with her continued claims of tribal heritage. Another Cherokee nation member is accusing Warren of playing politics.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: Elizabeth Warren has relied on stereotypes and popular misconceptions about Native Americans to prop up her false claims. I think that her decision showed that she does not listen to native people and is more concerned about her own political career and her ambition than tribal sovereignty and native rights.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: President Trump continuing to go after Warren, tweeting that her stories about her heritage have turned out to be a scam and a lie. This comes after the president called on the senator to say she's sorry for her previous claims.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: She owes the country an apology. What's her percentage, 1/1000? I'll only do it if I can test her personally, OK? That will not be something I enjoy doing either.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: The rest of the Democratic Party looks to be putting this issue in the rearview mirror ahead of the midterms.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNINDENTIFIED MALE: She's put to rest, I think, juvenile, offensive and inappropriate suggestions using his nickname for her that somehow she didn't know her own family history, and I think it's best for everybody if we move on here and recognize that this is just another episode that was beneath the president.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Move on? Not yet.
(LAUGHTER)
PERINO: Because, Jesse, you haven't had a chance to comment on it yet. It might give you an opportunity.
WATTERS: You know, as you remember that I had my DNA tested and I'm .1 percent black.
PERINO: Point nine percent, actually.
WATTERS: Yeah, OK. So.
PERINO: Even more than her.
WATTERS: I'm more black than she is Indian. And imagine if I, all of a sudden, started claiming I was black and I was listed as a minority at college, and Fox News listed me as a member of the national black journalist association. This is exactly what Elizabeth Warren did. She said she was a woman of color. I think the color is white. That's what the color is. For 10 years, she, as a university professor, was claiming to be a minority. She said she was a Cherokee in the cookbook that she wrote. She said her parents were oppressed because her mother was Cherokee. And all of a sudden the Cherokee nation is like, no, no, no, no. Liz, you're not a member of the tribe. Sorry. And it's all coming unravelling. And the people that are more excited about this than Donald Trump are Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders. Because she's cooked as a candidate, it's over for her. And I watched this all unfold yesterday because I had the sniffles and it was funny because she came out and thought she scored at first.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Yes.
WATTERS: And so did the media. And they sort of demanding Donald Trump payoff the million-dollar bet, and then all of a sudden now she's at war with the Cherokee nation and the media is writing stories like, oh, the DNA gambit may have backfired. It's kind of like this analogy. Remember the birth certificate with Barack Obama, Juan? Imagine if Obama gets the birth certificate and he looks at it and it's not up to snuff. You know it's forge. It's not real. Blah, blah, blah. Do you think he would have then put it out? That's what Warren did. She got the results and it's only 1/1,000, and she thought that was going to be a winning move and she put it out. That's how out of touch she is, and I'm just astonished that this is actually happening.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: I think the mention of the birth certificate is so timely.
WATTERS: Is it?
WILLIAMS: Yeah, because it's the same kind of move, and guess what? He forced Obama to produce -- he forces her to go take this test. She gets the guy to say, yes, you have some American-Indian ancestry, right? And then, he won't pay her and then he insults her by -- I don't know, it's kind of a sexual suggestion, I'm going to personally test you but I won't enjoy it. What was that.
WATTERS: How does that work? How do you test someone?
WILLIAMS: I don't know. But I'm just going to say, this is so typical of Trump. He makes a promise. He won't pay off the bet. She did exactly what was asked.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: You think she won the bet?
WILLIAMS: Absolutely.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: All he said was if you have any Indian ancestry I will give you a million bucks.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: Doesn't matter. That's what was he asked. That's what she did. But here's the thing.
WATTERS: Yes.
WILLIAMS: The whole -- the light that the right is taking in the Cherokee nation saying this is not right, you shouldn't have done this, is about tribal affiliation. It's nothing to do with the blood test.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: In the cookbook. That's what you're really worried about. No, you know what you're worried about, Jesse? You're worried about affirmative action. That's what this is about.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: Let me ask Greg about this because when it turns to ridicule then you might have a little bit of a political winner if you're on the right going against Elizabeth Warren. Take a look at this tweet from Orrin Hatch, the senator from Utah. You know he always makes fun of his age, and in his 80's and doing well. He said DNA test are quite something, and he says he's got a little t-rex. Get it?
GUTFELD: Very funny. Very funny. This is humiliating. I mean, you don't take a victory lap after this debacle. I mean, this -- to put in perspective, this makes Michael Dukakis in the tank look like tear down the wall. I mean, this is something you'll never forget. She is cook. She might get out of it because it's 2 years from now, but in my mind she's cooked. I mean, speaking of Cherokee, she has more in common with the Jeep than she does with the tribe, and that's why they kicked her off the reservation because -- it was just insulting to them that she for the second time was exploiting Native Americans for her own advancement. First, you know, in college and now this. And they knew it and it disgusted them.
And, by the way, to the point about Trump, he doesn't owe her anything because she said if she's Indian and she didn't. He didn't say part Indian, he says if she's Indian. And the fact is, if the majority -- I guess European-Americans have more Native American blood than she does, which is the case according to the New York Times and me being 2 percent Native American, he doesn't owe her a dime. However, he should donate some money perhaps to a Native American fund just to show that he's a bigger man. But this is great. This is where identity politics takes you.
PERINO: Yeah.
GUTFELD: And the beauty of this is, I'll say it again, when you apply for a job where diversity trumps experience they should staple your DNA test to your SAT score, your application, and that's going to kill all of this.
WILLIAMS: See, that's what we're really talking about. I mean, so let's get beyond the static and the gossip. We also got to get you in.
PERINO: Yeah, we've got to get Katie in.
WILLIAMS: But I just think that's what we're talking about is the white identity politics, resentment.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: No, I'm talking about Donald Trump and Donald Trump preying on white woman.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: This is hilarious.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: . she benefitted in no way at Harvard.
KATIE PAVLICH, GUEST CO-HOST: That's not true.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: Katie, you get to have the floor.
PAVLICH: This is the ultimate cultural appropriation by Elizabeth Warren.
(CROSSTALK)
PAVLICH: Right, it's so much worse and she benefitted off of it for 30 years by listing herself in these directories that said she was Native American, which were used as hedge hunter portfolios for schools like Harvard Law to look at lists of people who were interested in getting more diversity into their law schools.
WILLIAMS: That's not true.
PAVLICH: . that's what she.
WILLIAMS: Some of the schools might have use and said that about her, but she never used it.
PAVLICH: Which is a benefit to Elizabeth Warren and getting ahead of her career.
GUTFELD: She actually did a video, again, exploiting Native Americans. And why did she seek out the Stanford academic anyway instead of using a commercial product like we did on The Five? Because she needed an ally.
PERINO: Yes, right.
GUTFELD: She needed someone to finest the fabrication and they found this guy -- this poor guy -- why me? Why are you asking me to do this?
WILLIAMS: The guy's an expert, how about that.
GUTFELD: Yeah, but you know what.
PAVLICH: Is he an expert when he didn't even test the proper DNA against what they were looking for.
PERINO: Expert witness.
GUTFELD: Yeah, exactly.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: Let me give the last word to Jesse, just about how -- you saw Democrats wanting to move on from this. They wish he hadn't done. The timing is terrible. Will anybody let this go?
WATTERS: Democrats are out there complaining that she didn't need to do this now three weeks before the midterm elections. We're talking about Michael Avenatti. We're talking about Elizabeth Warren. Are these people being paid by the RNC?
WILLIAMS: Yeah.
WATTERS: I mean, there that good for the president and his team.
PERINO: All right. Stormy Daniels and her lawyer, Michael Avenatti, strike out again in their attempt to damage President Trump. Greg's monologue is next. And don't forget, follow us on social media for more behind the scenes action of "The Five." We'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Just how bad is Michael Avenatti? He's so bad he give lawyers a bad name. A California judge not only ruled to dismiss Stormy Daniel's defamation suit against President Trump, but also ordered her to pay Trump's legal fees. Now, when judges do that it's to send a message, your lawyer is a moron. Poor Stormy, as a rule, people pay her for sex, now Avenatti reversed the charges. Sleazy lawyers are often called ambulance chasers. Avenatti is worse. He chases spot lights, and when he catches them he looks ridiculous. But he's good at one thing costing his own side money. A few months ago his firm was order to pay $10 million bucks to an attorney who once worked there.
And what about the Kavanaugh debacle? The gang rape accusation arrived like the carnival side show the media so badly wanted. Avenatti was the clown with the biggest clip-on nose hocking his little horn. Then his disgusting ploy imploded. And the TV anchors who indulge him fled sensing they were becoming his victims too. But why complain? He's been a gift for the Republicans and a disaster for the Democrats. Are we sure he wasn't on Trump's payroll all along? Now, Avenatti has taken to challenging people to fight on twitter like a town Palooka relieving past fight at the local bar. So how does this serial trickster get away with it? Does the state bar care about ethics violations? Isn't there a disciplinary committee or is he exempt because he's a liberal attack dog. His punishment should be harsh. Make him represent himself.
All right, though, we do have -- he's going to run, Dana. I mean.
PERINO: He's running.
GUTFELD: Yeah. He is running. So, maybe this could be great for him. He doesn't care.
PERINO: He might be great for a time.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: Being selfish because he does provide a lot of fodder. I'm sure the Democrats wish he would just go away.
GUTFELD: Right.
PERINO: . or become a Republican.
GUTFELD: He could run with Liz. What a ticket.
PERINO: Yeah. They can come up with some other, sort of.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.
PERINO: I do wonder if Avenatti will actually help Stormy Daniels pay the actual legal fees.
GUTFELD: Oh, the best part is her Go-Fund Me page which is, you know, flooded with money from people who hate Trump, that's going to end up going to Trump.
PERINO: Right, exactly.
GUTFELD: I don't know if that's true. I just read that.
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: And in Trump's twitter it's true, Jesse.
WATTERS: Trump always makes money (INAUDIBLE) the guy is very rich. I think the Democrats have really hitched their ride to the wrong horse here. I'm not talking about Stormy, I'm talking about Avenatti because he's taken the Democrats for a ride and it's not going to be a victory lap here. And so the president, obviously, said that she's a horse-face or whatever on twitter, and now anybody on the left is upset about that. I wouldn't say that, but here's what I would say, the left has used the word C word to describe people in the Trump family and then everybody applauded that. They fantasized about killing the president. They've called him a fatso, Nazi, mental patient. They've loved that kind of language. And now, all of a sudden, they're clutching their pearls when the president says the word horse face? Please. To be surprised now that Donald Trump says bad thing and uses dirty nicknames about people three years later, either you haven't learned a thing after the last three years or you're just dense. This is what he does and this is how he wins. And now, regarding the other claim about the gang rape case, that being so false in and of itself makes me think maybe Donald Trump didn't have an affair with Stormy Daniels.
GUTFELD: Hmm. Well -- go ahead.
PAVLICH: I would say that Stormy Daniels have also said not so nice thing about President Trump's appearance. So, he's kind of just giving it back to her.
GUTFELD: Very specific ones.
PAVLICH: Very specific things we will not repeat. Avenatti 2020 is going to be lit, as the kids say. And I think Democrats are really, actually, pretty disappointed that he's gotten involved here, especially during the Kavanaugh fight. They think the reason they lost that is because he got involved with the ridiculous allegations and these statements that were made. And the bottomline is he's putting Stormy Daniels in a position where she's probably not going to pay these legal bills for her, and he's going to go and try to find some other woman to jump into this trap of politics saying -- they're claiming he will represent her, it will be great, they're going to win, and yet his track record shows exactly the opposite. So it's not good for women getting involved. Warning, you see Avenatti knocking on your door, say no and tell him to go away. And when it comes to actual implications and compliments for what he's done legally.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: Tell me, the kids say his campaign is lit?
PERINO: Lit.
WILLIAMS: I mean, he's like.
PERINO: Like on fire.
WILLIAMS: It's going somewhere.
PERINO: It's going to be exciting to watch.
WILLIAMS: Oh, I think Dana and Greg had it right. It will be fun for us because.
PERINO: That's what I mean.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: To me, the horse face stuff, by the way.
WATTERS: Yeah.
WILLIAMS: . I don't like -- come on. This is -- I mean, you're going to say to me, oh, it's typical Trump, that's what he does with everybody. But, you know, remember Carly Fiorina? She's -- look at that face. This woman is horse face. And I just think, man, at some point American women will be like, this guy is out of control.
WATTERS: I don't know if American women side with porn stars, Juan.
WILLIAMS: Oh, I see. I see. Well, I just think it's all woman is the terms of his attitude. But I think the real interesting thing here is how the right is making this out to be such a big win, total vindication for Donald Trump, when this is not even the main case. The main case has to do with the non-disclosure agreement. This was about that unknown guy in the parking lot.
PAVLICH: Do you think that people really care about the non-disclosure agreement.
(CROSSTALK)
PAVLICH: . details of what they did, what they didn't do.
WILLIAMS: My point to you is that this case is still pending.
GUTFELD: Right.
WILLIAMS: It's still out there. It's not settled.
GUTFELD: Right. But here's the issue, this was -- this case that they -- Trump just won was probably the strongest one because to your point about the hush agreement she took the money. It will be really hard in court for her to be proven to be right if she had taken the money.
WILLIAMS: But it's not. She said that, in fact, it wasn't properly signed, and that Michael Cohen who now -- I don't know where he stands -- I don't think he's.
PAVLICH: Democrat again.
WILLIAMS: I don't know. But I'm saying that how -- this is where the conversation -- and not only at this table but in America has gone.
PAVLICH: Thanks to who? Michael Avenatti.
WILLIAMS: Oh, Michael Avenatti had a relationship with Stormy -- oh, no.
PAVLICH: He's involved in the situation.
WILLIAMS: Oh, I see.
GUTFELD: Michael Avenatti actually went and had his DNA tested, 25 percent reptile.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: I thought it's going to be higher.
WILLIAMS: I thought T-Rex.
GUTFELD: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
GUTFELD: Rapper T.I. sparks outrage with his vulgar new attack on the first lady, details next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WATTERS: Liberal hypocrisy on full display once again with the left proving it's OK to shame women as long as they're Republicans. Rapper T.I. is under fire over his new music video depicting the first lady as a stripper in an apparent dig at Kanye West meeting with President Trump. The footage is so vulgar and profane we can't even show you most of it. In response, a spokesperson for Mrs. Trump says, quote, like or not, she's the first lady and this is the White House. It's disrespectful and disgusting to portray her this way simply because of politics. So little advise for T.I., when you're calling someone a racist, don't be sexist, right? Just try to stay out on your own way, T.I.
PERINO: I also think it's unpatriotic. Melania Trump has done nothing to deserve that. And she's in Africa she said that she was probably the most bullied person in the world, which she is talking online. And I said -- when you're bullied online you feel like you're the most bullied person. This takes it beyond just the online piece. This is going right into the pop culture. She had just traveled to Africa to help people there with -- she took books. She took the message that America is there to help you on health care, maternal health, she held all the babies. She did all the things that you would expect a first lady to do to show that you care about another country. And especially with Africa that have so much poverty, and she comes home to this. I mean, they should pull it but, unfortunately, everyone is making money out of this administration, right? From the right and the left, and -- but I really feel like first ladies should be off limits.
WATTERS: I did too. I wanted Michelle Obama speak up, Greg, she's former first lady. A powerful woman, I expect her to come to Melania's defense here.
GUTFELD: Right. I think you just laid down the gauntlet. I don't know. The only thing -- when you showed that, now I want to go watch it.
WATTERS: I'm sure it's got ton of views right now.
GUTFELD: We probably would have done better if we'd just ignored it, but I'm really surprised a rapper has denigrated women, all this time when I hear their songs and hear B's and H's, I thought those were terms of endearment, so I don't think you should be surprise. But this was his response to Kanye. It wasn't a reputation of his ideas, you know, when he talked about stop and stop and frisk, or prison reform, or creation of ideas centers, or reigniting enterprise zones with tax relief, instead he went after Melania. I think it's just a grain of salt. Just ignore it.
WATTERS: And Kanye and I run a twist, Juan, by saying that Donald Trump was dehumanizing someone using them as a prop. He did the exact same thing with a woman, Melania Trump.
WILLIAMS: What?
WATTERS: He pictured her as sort of sexual object dancing for someone.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: Yeah, dancing for someone.
WILLIAMS: And Donald Trump did what.
WATTERS: That's what T.I. was saying Trump did to Kanye West, using him as a prop.
WILLIAMS: Oh, is that right? I didn't get that analogy. So it's interesting. You think this is -- I mean, I understand where he's saying I'm not Kanye to the president and saying here's what I think of you, but I don't know that he was making a direct analogy between.
WATTERS: No, he wasn't. He called it that he self-owned.
WILLIAMS: Oh, OK. But here's the thing, adhere to your point about Michelle Obama, just this week we had this case where a woman running for the senate in Minnesota was found to said, you know, Michelle Obama can't stand up as straight as a chimp. I mean, gosh. You think about that kind of racist language. Or don't forget what happened -- I mean, even around here we've called her baby mama, she's Obama -- remember that kind of stuff?
PERINO: What?
WILLIAMS: Oh, yeah.
PERINO: Around here?
WILLIAMS: Yeah. I'm going to say -- and not only that.
PAVLICH: What are you talking about?
WILLIAMS: I won't get into it because I don't think it's necessary. But believe me, check the record and talk about Michelle Obama's weight as, oh, how can she be giving.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: Do you think the idea was wrong?
WILLIAMS: You know what? I just think -- this is what I've said to you in the earlier segment, Jesse. I think this whole culture and the way that we talk about thing is going down the pipe.
WATTERS: Well, you're skirting the main issue and it's T.I. Go ahead.
PAVLICH: I wonder when hip-hop is going to have their Me-Too movement because.
GUTFELD: Oh, my God.
PAVLICH: It is.
GUTFELD: That would be.
PAVLICH: Yeah. It would be a reckoning if it would ever happen. Disappointing thing here is that T.I. was given -- has a platform, he was given a platform by Kanye being invited to the White House to have a conversation about prison reform, about the black community, about unemployment, about youth unemployment -- which leads to the school to prison pipeline that they're always talking about. And instead of looking at his own record which includes serving 10 months in prison for violating his parole, possession of drugs, arrested multiple times as teenager for dealing drugs, felony weapons possession, instead of looking at his own life and going how can I improve the lives of people who are younger than I am, making sure that they don't go through this and learn from my mistakes, he's instead going after Melania Trump, the first lady, for a beef that he has with Kanye West by attacking her in this way. It's disgusting. He's not going to apologize for it. I don't expect him to. But the level of respect that has not been given to Melania as been given to other first ladies as in term of just the office really is astounding.
(CROSSTALK)
PAVLICH: Where's the feminists? I'm just wondering where's all the feminist.
WATTERS: Where's now.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: Hey look. You know what? I'll tell you what. I don't understand why we have sunk to this level. I mean, that's why, I mean, I get crap for people going after it because I think a lot of what the rappers do in terms of the images that they project for young people, especially people of color is so damaging. And now you have a strict -- you know what?
PAVLICH: This is one of them, Juan. This is a perfect example of that. Respect the office of the first lady, whether it's Michelle Obama or Melania Trump.
WILLIAMS: But I'm telling you, Katie, this is where our politics is now. It invites this kind of response and I don't think it's appropriate, but this is.
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: By saying this invites the response, that's like saying Melania invited this.
WILLIAMS: No, no, no. I'm talking about Kanye being invited into the Oval Office to curse out loud in front of the president as, you know, some kind of publicity stunt.
WATTERS: You're saying it justifies what was done to the first lady.
WILLIAMS: No, I disagree, and I disapprove of T.I.'s action, but I can't - - I cannot honestly say that, oh, this is so different, so alarming than the kind of acrimony --
PAVLICH: It is to the first lady.
WILLIAMS: -- directed at Michelle Obama.
WATTERS: I would disagree with that. So Juan, will you be boycotting T.I. as the first lady --?
WILLIAMS: It's not a problem. I don't listen to -- you know how I feel about the rap stars.
WATTERS: All right. More Elizabeth Warren DNA reaction next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: Elizabeth Warren's claim that she's Native American sparked a heated debate about race in America. Now, some on the left claiming President Trump and his base are the ones stoking the racial divide.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think this is something where people can relate to Elizabeth Warren being trolled this way by the president. You know, birtherism was anti-black. This particular heritage obsession of his is more, I guess, anti-Democratic white woman.
MARA GAY, "NEW YORK TIMES" EDITORIAL BOARD: In terms of the Elizabeth Warren -- the attack on Warren, I believe that was actually about white anxieties among Donald Trump's base about who's white in America.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: Meanwhile, Rush Limbaugh offering his take on what's really going on here.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RUSH LIMBAUGH, RADIO TALK SHOW HOST: The election coming up isn't -- there isn't a single vote that has anything to do with her. She hasn't even announced for the presidency. In fact, she's said just the opposite. She says she's not going to run.
So given that, why is she intruding here? I'll tell you. She thinks, like all the others on the left do, they think if they can be the one to destroy Trump, if they can be the one to illustrate that whatever they think of Trump is true, then they will be heroines or heroes.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: What do you think, kid?
PAVLICH: Well, I think that the reason we're here is because the left has so closely married identity politics to their ideas and to their strategy that Elizabeth Warren has marched herself into this.
So they are so focused on skin color and gender that they can't divorce themselves from those issues when it comes to actually talking about their ideas, and that's where we are.
But I want to take President Trump out of this. Yes, he has mocked Elizabeth Warren. Yes, he has called her Pocahontas. Putting that aside, it's The Boston Globe that called for Elizabeth Warren to clarify what her record is when it comes to her heritage. It wasn't -- Trump asked for it, but The Boston Globe in this election cycle said that she needed to provide some proof about the discrepancies because of the reasons that she said before, in naming it in one thing, not naming it in the other. The allegations that she got ahead in her career as a result of it.
So sure, the president has used it against her, I think as he should, because she's a fraud; and she clearly used it to get ahead in her career. But it wasn't just him. It was the Boston Globe who was asking for some clarification about her background.
WILLIAMS: Jesse, what do you think about the argument coming from the left that this is about white grievance and white identity politics, and that Trump is playing into that in that way?
WATTERS: I don't even understand that. I don't understand the question or the sound bite. What does this have to do with white identity politics?
This is about a white woman pretending to be an Indian for privilege. And if white privilege is -- exists and is so real, why are you trying to claim to be a Native American? I mean, which is it? Is it more of an advantage to be a minority or be white? I don't understand anymore.
Remember last week, we did the poll. And the poll said that this country is not P.C., 80 percent of all Americans are sick of political correctness. And at the top of that list, the people that were most sick of it were Indians.
PAVLICH: Yes.
WATTERS: They were most upset, 82 percent, that P.C. culture has run amok. So I guess Native Americans are OK with the Washington Redskins logo now, and they're upset at Elizabeth Warren, the white liberal trying to, you know, assume their -- their ethnicity. So the world has now been turned upside-down and I guess people for Halloween, it's going to be -- it's going to be chaos.
PAVLICH: I don't want any lectures about Halloween costumes ever again from these college campuses --
WATTERS: It's over.
PAVLICH: -- about cultural appropriationwhen Elizabeth Warren is tripling down on her --
WATTERS: Yes, you can dress up as a Native American, and you can just say, "Oh, no, I'm not offensive. I'm dressing up as Elizabeth Warren."
PAVLICH: Right, exactly.
WILLIAMS: So Dana, do you understand why the left might say, "Oh, but President Trump, he makes all the Latinos are members of MS-13, out to kill white people."
PAVLICH: He didn't say that, Juan.
WILLIAMS: Or "all the blacks are this violence in Chicago. These are violent --"
PERINO: Yes, I understand why they've done it, because I think that they've -- they've either convinced themselves that he believes that or it is -- it's their main line.
But they also said that about Republicans before: Mitt Romney; even said it about John McCain and George W. Bush. So it is just a line that they've used.
I believe that the reason we've seen Elizabeth Warren stumble out of the Native American closet, as she has, that she is not on the Judiciary Committee. So for the last two months --
WATTERS: Good point.
PERINO: -- Booker and Harris have had the left media all to themselves to talk about the Kavanaugh hearings. She was figuring out a way to get more attention. In the middle of all of that, she does that little event where she says, "Oh, by the way, I actually think I am going to run for president," tries to get media that way. Pitches a story to The Washington Post that she's the most helpful to all the Democrats across the country.
She steps on it with this DNA piece. I think that, because she is not there in the Judiciary Committee, she's tried this. However I'm going to - - I should write a book about this, but I won't, because we have too many books.
She would have run in 2016.
WATTERS: Yes.
PERINO: She would have had the left to herself. She was not the Bernie Sanders guy, but she also was not Hillary. She could have been able to fire up that base. She wouldn't have had to defend all her husband's past transgressions with the women from the 1990s and Bill Clinton's past. She wouldn't have had to do all that. And she might have had a chance to beat President Trump then. It's now, in my opinion, too late.
PAVLICH: Thanks a lot, Hillary. All your fault.
WILLIAMS: Greg, you and I often go back and forth over identity politics. So I was very curious, because I know you're strong in terms of, you know, deriding the Antifa folks. But then this week, or last week in New York at the Republican Club, they had Gavin McInness and the Proud Boys. And then a huge violent confrontation. And I'm thinking to myself, "What would Greg say about that kind of racial -- issue?"
GUTFELD: I'm against -- I'm against all violence, Juan.
WILLIAMS: Oh, good.
GUTFELD: And I guess I understood that certain protesters showed up in -- wearing masks. I'm always skeptical of people who wears masks. The KKK wore hoods. And anybody in Antifa who wear masks.
I don't think these other fellas were wearing masks, and they showed up at an event. There was vandalism. That's all I know about it, but let's stick to this story, identity politics.
You said it's the argument of the left that it's white -- white-based. But you threw to the media, and we've left the media out of this. The media is culpable. They're in concert with the left to create this toxic puddle of identity politics. It's no longer now for the Democratic Party to be about the content of your character. It' now the color of your ancestor's skin. This is not what Martin Luther King anticipated.
And so what's happened is, the result is the Democratic party has no ideas. It has no stances, because they're too busy chasing their oppression ratio. Who is more oppressed in this intersectionality?
So you don't have anything to say about the war in Afghanistan. You don't have anything to say about cyber terror. You don't have anything to say about automation. You have nothing to say about Saudi Arabia. You have nothing to say about Iran. You have nothing to say about black-on-black crime. You have nothing to say about anything, because you're too obsessed with your skin color and who is more oppressed. That's the real crime. And the candidate that wins for the Democrats is the one who rejects that.
WILLIAMS: I see. And so what I was talking about, I thought, was identity politics. That's why I raised it with you --
GUTFELD: And I answered.
WILLIAMS: But you see, on the Republican side, I'm amazed that the Republican Club here in New York would host somebody from these Proud Boys.
GUTFELD: You'd have to call them, Juan.
WILLIAMS: All right. I just think it's kind of odd. You know, you say the Republicans don't play racial politics.
GUTFELD: I don't -- I don't see that as racial, but they do.
WILLIAMS: All right.
GUTFELD: Have racial on the brain.
WILLIAMS: For all of you Trump-loving singles out there looking for just the right partner, you've come to the right place. We have good news straight ahead on "The Five."
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PAVLICH: Well, if you are a Trump supporter who's single and ready to mingle but haven't had much luck finding that special someone, listen up. There's a new app called DonaldDaters, and it wants to help make America date again. The platform gives conservatives a place where they can meet other politically-minded MAGA lovers without the liberal backlash.
So Greg, is this just very innovative when it comes to the dating scene? Skips a lot of steps when it comes to trying to find the right person for you?
GUTFELD: I have mixed feelings. It's part of that silo wing of our culture, where people seek out separate areas.
But back in the old days when you were dating, the suggestion was always to get to know the person first before you fool around, because sex distorts the overall compatibility. You don't see the other things about the person, because you're too involved in the carnal desires.
PAVLICH: OK.
WATTERS: Expand on that, Greg.
GUTFELD: I now -- now I say it should be the same for politics. I think you should get to know the person before you discuss politics --
WATTERS: That's a good point.
GUTFELD: -- because politics could distort your compatibility. You might have incredible chemistry with this person, but because she shows up wearing, you know, a Black Life Matters pin, or you show up in a MAGA hat, you're never going to hook up.
PERINO: This is a great theory.
GUTFELD: I just came up with it on the stair climber.
PERINO: I really like it.
GUTFELD: So now, like, your mom used to tell you, wait, so and so, until the first kiss or whatever.
WATTERS: Yes.
GUTFELD: Wait three dates before politics comes up.
PERINO: Wow. What are people going to talk about?
GUTFELD: Sex.
PAVLICH: Politics or sex, these are the choices here.
GUTFELD: Either way you're screwed.
PAVLICH: But Dana, as people who are married --
PERINO: Yes.
PAVLICH: -- you know, politics, actually, is sometimes a reflection of our value system --
PERINO: Values.
PAVLICH: -- and the way that we think about life.
PERINO: And probably -- and a little bit more and more so. You do -- you know, if you -- let's say we're out and around town. If you meet somebody from New York who is a conservative who likes FOX --
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: -- they'll say, "I'm the only one in New York."
PAVLICH: Right.
PERINO: It's not true. There's a whole bunch of them, but they don't know where to meet.
GUTFELD: There's 30.
PERINO: People are meeting online.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: And so I think that this is a good idea. They've got farmers.
PAVLICH: Yes. FarmersOnly.com, ChristianMingle.com
PERINO: There you go. That's a good one.
GUTFELD: Making hay.
PAVLICH: Make America date again, Jesse.
WATTERS: Yes, I always thought online dating was for losers. I mean, most people that are normal pick up people at bars.
GUTFELD: That's not true anymore.
WATTERS: Yes, it is.
PAVLICH: That's a waste of time, Jesse.
WATTERS: And if anybody -- if you're trying to meet a Trump supporter today, you go to the Trump International Hotel in D.C.
PAVLICH: That's true.
WATTERS: Because that's where they all hang out.
PAVLICH: That's true.
GUTFELD: People -- you're so -- the online dating thing, that's all people do.
WATTERS: I don't think it's online dating. I think it's online hookups.
GUTFELD: That's true.
PERINO: No, I know a lot of people who have met online and gone on to have really good marriages.
PAVLICH: I agree. I know some people.
PERINO: It's true.
PAVLICH: Juan, are you terrified for your future, listening to -- your grandchildren's future, listening to Jesse talk about this?
WILLIAMS: I'm always -- I'm educated by Dr. Watters on this topic. I didn't know you felt this way about online dating.
WATTERS: I don't feel strongly about it.
PAVLICH: Not at all.
WILLIAMS: No, yes. But you just think it's bad form.
WATTERS: I mean, I think I grew up in the time when there wasn't online dating, and when it became popular, that was kind of for the people that couldn't find a date.
Maybe things have changed.
WILLIAMS: I don't know.
WATTERS: But I'm stuck in my old ways.
GUTFELD: You're going get a lot of mail.
WILLIAMS: I don't know.
WATTERS: Really?
WILLIAMS: You know what I think? I just think the sad part of this, Katie, is that you have people now can't talk. I mean, that you know, so if you're --
PAVLICH: They're talking on the Internet.
WILLIAMS: No, but I'm saying, so if Jesse is a Trump supporter and I'm not, it means that we're not supposed to talk?
WATTERS: Juan, you're not my type.
WILLIAMS: I hope not, brother. I hope not.
PAVLICH: You can talk. You just don't want your boyfriend or girlfriend to be like, wearing a "nasty woman" T-shirt or wearing a MAGA hat.
WILLIAMS: Oh, no, look, it's like I think this weekend Michigan plays Michigan State. I've seen households, and they've got both flags outside. It's possible.
And, you know, even with Jesse, I can talk to Jesse. I don't agree on politics with Jesse, but I talk to him.
PAVLICH: Do you want to date Jesse? No.
WILLIAMS: No, but like, for example --
PAVLICH: The answer is no.
WATTERS: I'm out of his league.
WILLIAMS: You are, thank God.
But for example, in my family, there are people who are strong Republicans, strong conservatives. Do I think that's a problem? No.
PAVLICH: You're very tolerant, Juan.
WATTERS: You raised them right, Juan. You raised them right.
WILLIAMS: There you go.
PAVLICH: You're very tolerant, Juan.
GUTFELD: Literally raised them right.
WATTERS: Yes, literally raised them right.
PAVLICH: Exactly. Well, I think that online dating actually saves a lot of time and money. So like guys, for example, should be happy about online dating, because you're not meeting people at bars or dinner and paying all this money and then leaving knowing you have nothing in common.
GUTFELD: But --
WATTERS: What about wining and dining and the courtship?
PERINO: That happens after you meet online.
GUTFELD: The challenge is --
WATTERS: What about impressing them with money that you're spending on them?
GUTFELD: The issue -- the issue with online dating is that men still use the short-term mating beliefs while being online. They'll pretend that they're in it for the long term and -- but it really isn't. It's still has the same problems as going to a bar.
PAVLICH: I think we have a new segment for the show: "Jesse's Dating Tips." Nothing you should take seriously.
But coming up next, "One More Thing."
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: It's time now for "One More Thing" -- Juan.
WILLIAMS: As you know, I'm a granddad, so when I saw this video, man, I just went nuts. Take a look.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(GRANDFATHER AND GRANDDAUGHTER TAP DANCING TOGETHER)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: Yes, that's a 72-year-old grandfather with his 10-year-old granddaughter. Bill Jones was invited to be May Jones's partner for a recital in Massachusetts, and after six hours of training, Jones, who tap danced as a younger, by the way, with a group called the Four Flashes, well, he was ready to shake a leg. And as you can see, the recital: a smashing success. Fred Astaire to Michael Jackson would have been proud of Grandpa Jones.
PERINO: Right. Grandpa, that's excellent.
All right. A 6-year-old boy with Type One diabetes started selling pumpkins to raise money so he could afford a service dog to accompany him on the bus to school.
So Ian Unger is his name, and he was told he could not ride the bus if he did not have an aide to help monitor his blood sugar levels and insulin pump. But getting an aide was difficult. The family was denied. So they changed tactics, and they decided to look for a service dog.
Ian's mother went on Facebook, and she set up a pumpkin patch fundraiser to help move things along. They advertised pumpkins for $5. They quickly sold out, but the good news is that they raised a lot more money, $23,000 in just three days, and they are on their way to getting a service dog to help Ian, and he can ride the bus and go to school. And the extra money is going to be donated to others who need service dogs of their own.
PAVLICH: Good.
PERINO: So it turns out well.
GUTFELD: He's out of his gourd.
PERINO: That's for you, Ian.
All right. Greg.
GUTFELD: All right. So I've got a schedule for my book events that are coming up in December, and they're selling out. December 2, Grand Rapids, Michigan. And then that's -- it's "The Gutfeld Monologues Live." I'll be up there doing it with a special guest.
And then at Tobin Center in San Antonio, Texas, that's December 8, Saturday. These are both on the weekends. So you can go -- go to GGutfeld.com to get the ticket info. They're selling out.
PERINO: Can we use your apartment --
GUTFELD: While I'm gone.
PERINO: -- for a party that weekend?
GUTFELD: Yes, absolutely. And you know I have something else?
PERINO: Go ahead.
GUTFELD: Let's go to it.
GRAPHIC: Greg's Relaxation News
GUTFELD: "Greg's Relaxation News." You know, there's -- I love to relax, because I am a very anxious person. And I found this tip from China. One of the best ways to relax is by hanging like this by your hair.
PERINO: Your hair?
GUTFELD: Incredibly long hair, which he ties to branches.
PERINO: Ow.
GUTFELD: This was filmed in the central Hainan province. I don't know why I'm giving you these facts. I just thought it was hilarious. Look at this dude's hair. That's amazing. He's like a young Cher. Remember Cher in the '70s?
PERINO: And become famous on the Internet for things like that.
GUTFELD: There you go.
PERINO: All right.
GUTFELD: All right.
PERINO: Jesse.
WATTERS: You like to relax?
GUTFELD: I do like to relax.
WATTERS: Never would have known.
All right. So I have better dancing video than Juan. This is how it's done. Check out this dog from Boston Dynamic.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(DANCING ROBOT DOG)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Oh, dear God.
WATTERS: You can computerize rhythm. So for all the people that can't dance out there, like Theresa May, they can help you over at Boston Dynamics. Learn how to dance.
GUTFELD: All right.
WATTERS: Dogs can dance.
GUTFELD: This is a project for you. You've got to go there, because I've contacted Boston Dynamics. They do not talk to the press. All they do is create killer robots. There's something going on in that place. I think it's actually run by the robots.
PAVLICH: I thought you liked the robots.
WATTERS: Maybe a journalist could get to the bottom of that.
GUTFELD: You have to go.
WATTERS: It's me.
GUTFELD: Road trip.
WATTERS: I'll show up with the camera and jump out of a doorway.
PAVLICH: I thought Greg was in the pro-robot camp.
GUTFELD: I am, but I'm just -- I'm disturbed by the fact that they don't have a press office and nobody talks.
PERINO: The Boston Dynamics press office will not return a call to you?
GUTFELD: No, they won't. Because they've been killed. They're all dead, and the robots are running the place. I'm telling you, this is true. Check it out, Boston Herald!
PAVLICH: We can't confirm or deny whether the robots killed everybody and are running the show.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PAVLICH: Like they'll be running your life in about five years, as Greg always says.
All right, here's my story. Over the weekend, a giant pig, and I mean giant pig, was on the loose in Highland, California. Local police and residents called to report the pig, which is the size of a mini horse that was running around the neighborhood.
And the pig is a repeat offender, so the deputies took care of the problem; knew where he lived. They've been called to the area before.
And the deputy was very smart and took her jalapeno Doritos to lure him back home and secure him behind the gate.
So after the incident took place, on Facebook, the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department said, "Crime fighting to safely secure a mini-horse- sized pig, we do it all."
GUTFELD: Kind of sad --
PAVLICH: So call them with some Doritos if you find a large animal in your neighborhood.
PERINO: Where did the pig want to go?
GUTFELD: Let him go. Whenever he goes back, it's not going to be good.
PAVLICH: Going to go to your kitchen.
WILLIAMS: But I will admit, I thought the cop was backing up from the pig, but you're saying actually, she was luring it in.
PAVLICH: She was putting Doritos down, trying to get him back to the gate.
PERINO: Very, very lovely lady out there. All right. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of the -- what is this called? "The Five." "Special Report" is up next -- Bret.
BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS: I think it's "The Five." All right. Thanks, Dana.
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