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Animals Are Great! Columbus Zoo brings animals to 'The Five'

Furry and feathered friends visit the set of 'The Five.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 12, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Juan Williams along with Katie Pavlich, Jesse Watters, Dana Perino, and guess who's back? It's Greg.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: It's me.

WILLIAMS: It's 5 o'clock in New York City, this is “The Five.”

Breaking news, big trouble could be brewing for Andrew McCabe, federal prosecutors now recommend moving forward with criminal charges against the former FBI deputy director. It's unclear at this moment what those charges might be, but here's what we do know. McCabe was fired right before his retirement in 2019. It happened after the Justice Department inspector general found he authorized a media leak about an investigation into the Clinton foundation. The I.G. determined that McCabe did not tell the truth about what happened.

Jesse, you know, obviously, McCabe has been targeted by President Trump for a lot of, you know, nastiness. What do you think this means for Andrew McCabe right now?

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: It's not good. I mean, let's remember, Juan, McCabe targeted Donald Trump, that's how this whole thing happened.

WILLIAMS: Wait a second --

WATTERS: And I think --

WILLIAMS: -- this is about the Clinton foundation. Actually, targeted --

WATTERS: This lie that he told to the feds, yes, was about that. But let's also remember this, he tried to take the president out, they hatched the insurance plot in his office, and when the president caught wind to that insurance policy and fired his boss, Comey, then McCabe comes along and wants people wearing wires and wants people getting Trump out of office undemocratically. And that's what this is about.

This is the reason why Trump was elected in the first place. People want to see justice in this country. Smollett walks away. Hillary walks away. No one gets locked up after the financial crash. They want to see justice applied equally. So, I hope that he pays a price for this. Not only him, all the other people in the Cabal.

GUTFELD: Jesse, but what about the victims?

WATTERS: Who is it, Greg?

GUTFELD: CNN. I mean, this was their prime CNN contributor that they've just hired, and now he's gone. They need a replacement. So I came up with two.

WATTERS: Yes.

GUTFELD: The situation, he just got out of jail, Jersey Shore. He's looking for a gig. I just saw him on Prince Street walking around look pretty analyst. Then you've got O.J., right? O.J., he's giving a lot of hot takes on twitter. You just don't want to piss him off. But I think it's time.

WATTERS: That's like when the Patriots sign A.B., and then the next day he gets hit with the rape charge.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

WATTERS: Bad timing for CNN.

GUTFELD: But this is vindication for victims of prolong hysteria. It's a lesson. Don't try to organize a legal coup because you don't like the election. Maybe just go with it. Get a hobby. Have some fun for a couple years, think about it.

WILLIAMS: So, Dana, back to the story here. We have to -- we have now --

DANA PERINO, HOST: The news.

WILLIAMS: -- such energy coming from Greg. But the reality is that the grand jury investigating the case was recalled. We don't know why. They've got to get a majority of the people on the grand jury to agree to - - but we don't know what it's about.

PERINO: Yes. So I'm going to not speculate because I don't know, but remember the Justice Department under Attorney General Barr has declined to go forward and prosecute a couple of others, and I can't even remember what their names are now because if you don't get prosecuted you don't actually -- you kind of go into obscurity. Comey, there you go. Obscurity, how can I say that?

But remember also for McCabe, think about all the people that donated to his legal defense fund. I mean, a lot of people donated a ton of money. He got a big book deal. He got a big CNN contract. Like the guy is basically -- he set himself up to try to fight fire with fire, but when a grand jury gets recalled, that doesn't sound good.

WILLIAMS: You know what, Katie, I mean, there was an effort by McCabe's lawyers to try to get the D.C. -- attorney general for the district of Columbia say, you know what, we don't need to prosecute him. This has come back to bite him.

KATIE PAVLICH, HOST: Well, his attorneys were actually quite arrogant and overconfident, I think, when he was referred for criminal charges last year by the inspector general. They were confident this would go nowhere. They'll be able to work out some deal. But Andrew McCabe is being referred not just by the I.G., but look into by the U.S. attorney because he lied to federal investigators, inspector general investigators, and FBI agents under oath three times.

It's on the record. And Andrew McCabe is being held to the same standards that he held everybody else to when he was the deputy FBI director.

WILLIAMS: So quick question --

PAVLICH: There're people that he has put in prison. He's taken away their liberties for doing the same thing that he did, and he should be held accountable for it.

WILLIAMS: Just quick question. Jim Comey, though, they've said, no prosecution.

PAVLICH: Well, they're separate cases. I mean, there's obvious more evidence here for the U.S. attorney in D.C. to look at it and say we should proceed with looking at charges. The New York Times reported about a week ago that this possible indictment was coming. I don't know what the charges are going to be either, but perjury looks like one of them, considering that the list of things in the I.G. report were about lying under oath to federal agents.

WILLIAMS: So, Greg, welcome back.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

WILLIAMS: Did you miss this kind of argument?

GUTFELD: I did. Where I was there was no news. No word of the Trump phenomenon, politics --

WILLIAMS: Wait a second, I heard about a typhoon.

GUTFELD: There was a typhoon, believe me. There was a typhoon. But this kind of typhoon, the orange typhoon did not reach Japan, but it was quite delightful.

WILLIAMS: What do you think of this?

GUTFELD: What I think of what, this?

WILLIAMS: Yes.

GUTFELD: I just told you.

WILLIAMS: OK. I thought -- All right. All right.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

WILLIAMS: All right.

GUTFELD: I'm over it.

WILLIAMS: Switching gears now, Democrats taking a big step in the push to impeach President Trump. The House Judiciary Committee passing a resolution outlining how impeachment hearings would play out if Democrats decide they want to move forward. The chairman, Jerry Nadler, and the ranking Republican on the committee, they're clashing over the move.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: With these new procedures, we will begin next week an aggressive series of hearings investigating allegations of corruption, obstruction, and abuse of power against the president. The investigation will go well beyond the four corners of the Mueller report.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The judiciary committee has became a giant Instagram filter to make you appear there's something happening that's not.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: You know, as a person who's on the spot here, Dana, is Nancy Pelosi. I think she's torn between people who say -- the Democratic base that says let's have impeachment, and all the members of the Congress who actually gave them the majority, many of them coming from Trump majority districts, who don't want this.

PERINO: I don't think she is torn, OK. Like, so she might have a split within her caucus because I think she knows very well that impeachment is not a good idea, and that is why she's like, OK, fine. Go outside and play, everybody. Go outside and play, and then everyone is going to come back for dinner, we're going to vote on the things that matter to the American people and she'll list them out.

I think that there's a parallel universe happening with some Democrats that do want impeachment. I don't think she wants it. And I think she probably thinks, well, there's only X amount of working days between now and the end of the year. They're not going to do impeachment before then.

WILLIAMS: Jesse, do you think Republicans would be delighted to see Democrats in the House try to do impeachment, say, oh, look at these Democrats, they're just got Trump derangement syndrome.

WATTERS: No, I don't think so. I don't think anybody wants impeachment. And that's actually what Jerry Nadler said in the late-90's when he said that you should not impeach if it's on partisan lines. You should not do it if the country is not behind you because it's just going to tear the country apart. And now he's doing the exact same thing because there's a different president with a different letter after his name in the White House.

This is like trying to ground your child after the kid has already moved out of the house. Like, let it go. It is over, Democrats. There's nothing on collusion, and the Justice Department said no obstruction. So, Nancy's right. This is only going to hurt people in swing districts and -- I can't believe -- did I just say Nancy's right?

PAVLICH: You did.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: So, Katie, I think the two things are, one, whether or not there're taxpayer dollars going to Trump properties like he's getting the army people --

WATTERS: Oh, that's what we're about --

WILLIAMS: That's one of them, and the other one is obstruction.

PAVLICH: I think what -- the only taxpayer dollars here are being wasted on another investigation. Jerry Nadler is actually lying about this when he says, we're going to go past the four corners of the Mueller report. Not true. And he's also sending out fundraising email saying that a real impeachment inquiry has been open. So they're being dishonest and they're wasting taxpayer money by doing it.

WILLIAMS: Do you like this impeachment effort?

GUTFELD: Oh, I love it. No, impeachment is what you get when you have a great -- when you're living in a great time and you're suffering from amnesia. I wasn't here yesterday for 9/11. It's 9/12 and they're not thinking about how to prevent a 9/11, they're thinking about impeachment. That's a crime. I mean, at least we know what Trump is doing about terror. If it happens again we also know what the Democrats were doing. They were doing this and that's a shame.

WILLIAMS: OK. Biden's camp criticizes the media. Elizabeth Warren accused of being a hypocrite, and Trump trolling his White House rivals. That's all up in our 2020 round up of politics. That's ahead on The Five.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PAVLICH: Well, it's a huge night for Democrats in what could be a make or break moment for many of their campaigns. First up in our 2020 roundup, instead of projecting confidence, Joe Biden's team is going after the media. Biden's camp claims the reason for recent negative coverages is isn't because of his endless gaffs, instead they're blaming it on young reporters who think the 76-year-old is uncool. Greg, you left. Is he uncool?

GUTFELD: No.

PAVLICH: Is he wise?

GUTFELD: No. He's got problems and the media is not doing Joe any favors by treating him like a Faberge egg. So he's saying that they're picking on him. They're not. They're doing a reverse Trump. They're taking the spotlight away from him because at certain times he just doesn't look healthy, he doesn't look right, but they're fattening him up like a prized veal for Trump.

He's like sitting in a tight cage because he's not working the muscles and he's becoming slow, succulent, and unprepared for the (INAUDIBLE). It's going to be so bad. It's so bad. And they really need to get him out of there because it's not going to look good in a year.

PAVLICH: Jesse?

WATTERS: I think he gets bad press because he's a bad candidate. He's a relic. He's not a rock star. He wears aviators and was Barack's V.P. So what? I mean, if I were a reporter covering these people, I wouldn't want to cover him. I'd rather cover Buttigieg. I'd rather cover Elizabeth Warren, even Beto O'Rourke. Yeah. I mean, the guy is a gaffe machine. He doesn't attract any crowds. I just don't see it. If you're complaining about the press and you're a Democrat, that's a problem.

PAVLICH: Yeah, because they're supposed to be on your side, right?

WATTERS: Yeah. I mean, how much more help do you need?

PERINO: I'm going to take a contrary view. I think this is signs of life from Team Biden. They are basically finally attacking something. They're attacking the press, starting to attack Elizabeth Warren, even if they're not doing it directly. The op-ed today from the former governor of Pennsylvania, former DNC chair, Ed Rendell, and calling Elizabeth Warren a hypocrite, but she's nice.

I mean, that's basically what it said. I think that shows that they're willing to do some dirty work, but they're going to use their surrogates to do it. I think there's a lot more of it to come.

PAVLICH: What about that, Juan? Do you think Elizabeth Warren is going to go after Joe Biden tonight now that they're on the same stage?

WILLIAMS: No --

PAVLICH: They're very different lanes, right? Or do you think she'll push Biden left?

WILLIAMS: I mean, technically, she's going to go after anybody. She'd go after Bernie Sanders because he's the one --

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH: She's already beating Bernie Sanders now. It's like, she's --

WILLIAMS: Correct. So I think -- look, I think the dynamic tonight is everybody says Joe Biden is in the lead. They'd love to see him take a fall, a prep fall, and then be able to take some of his votes. But do I think that Elizabeth Warren wants to be the one that looks like, you know, finger prints on the victim's back? No, because then that would hurt her with fellow Democrats big time. So I don't think she's gonna do that.

In terms of this thing with reporters and Biden, look, reporters didn't think that Hillary Clinton was hip. They didn't think Donald Trump was hip, but was going to win. So, guess what, tough luck, reporters. I mean, you just go out there and cover the story. But I do think that a lot of people are just like -- especially reporters, oh, Biden is not exciting. Biden is not Obama.

PAVLICH: Well, one thing that doesn't seem to work in this new political age is being a phony. So Elizabeth Warren loves attacking the wealthy, but it turns out that she has no problem taking their money. She's also very wealthy herself. And now she's being called out for the hypocrisy, as Dana pointed out. Turns out she took a bunch of corporate cash in 2018 that she rolled over to help fund her current campaign.

So, Greg, she's been on this kick of -- I don't take corporate money, I'm only listening to the grassroots, I just want small donors, but she's more than happy to actually take a lot of corporate money.

GUTFELD: I just see -- every time I see her I see Jiminy Cricket, and I don't know why. I don't know why. The problem is, what she's saying, her entire idea of banning fracking, to taxing everybody to sponsor a trillion dollar fantasy is not going to prevent an apocalypse at all. It's actually going to speed up the apocalypse because other countries are going to fill the void, who are less compassionate about the earth than we are.

Who aren't going to listen to a 12-year-old climate activist and take their marching orders from her. Once we step off this world stage there're going to be -- there's going to be Iran, there's going to be Russia, Venezuela, are all gonna step in and they just see environment is just another road bump on the speed highway to love.

PAVLICH: Dana, in terms of the messaging on this --

PERINO: To Marianne?

GUTFELD: To Marianne.

PAVLICH: Yeah, to Marianne. The Democrats in Detroit during the first debate talked about banning cars for the sake of the green new deal. Are they going to talk about fracking in Texas?

PERINO: I don't know.

PAVLICH: I mean, are they going to go there?

PERINO: Well, it will be interesting. You asked if Warren is going to push Biden left. Like, they're already left. He said he's going to end fossil fuels in ten years. Basically in the -- since they had the last debate, one of the candidates that will be up there, Andrew Yang, talked about a possible mandatory buyback of your gas guzzling vehicle.

PAVLICH: Right.

PERINO: And be replaced by electric vehicle. I mean, they're already there. I don't think it matters if they do it in Houston or anywhere because now it's all a national campaign.

PAVLICH: Well, Andrew Yang is supposedly going to have a little bit of fun tonight, so let's listen to what he's challenged President Trump on.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANDREW YANG, 2020 DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: It would be Donald Trump, because I would school him. Donald Trump, oh, my gosh. He'd just be standing there. I'd be like, oh, oh, score left, score right. Score a jump shot.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PAVLICH: Jesse, Trump or Yang on the basketball court?

WATTERS: Yeah, Yang looks like he's got some game. I saw him play a little bit. He's dunking on a 8-foot rim, which is fine. He had a decent handle and a nice jump shot. But, you know, all these things are solved on the golf course, and I think Trump would smoke him.

PAVLICH: Well, Juan, President Trump is actually trolling the candidates tonight. His campaign is going to have a huge banner saying socialism sucks, essentially, outside of the debate. Who do you think wins that argument on socialism?

WILLIAMS: Well, I don't think there's anything that Democrats could do to prevent Donald Trump from calling them socialists. Donald Trump --

PAVLICH: But they are.

WILLIAMS: They are not socialists.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: If you want to see what a socialist is, these are people -- I mean, if you say social security, Medicare, Medicaid is socialist. I think you lose big time with American voters. But Trump -- this is just trolling, this is silliness, and I hope the Democrats don't pay attention. David Axelrod had a piece today in the New York Times say don't let Trump get away with this kind of stuff, this jiu-jitsu. Use his energy --

GUTFELD: It's too late.

WILLIAMS: -- negative energy --

GUTFELD: It's too late, Juan. Trump has effectively introduced a new kind of campaigning. He's introduced the concept of the Harlem Globetrotters into politics. Watch me come to town and plaster the Washington Generals. That's what it's going to be now. He's going to go through this whole thing. And wherever the Democrats show up, he's going to have a little war room and go, what can we do to mess with them? And it's -- you can't go back after this. Even if he loses, people are going to be doing this way differently.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, but people get tired of it.

GUTFELD: Oh, I'm not.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: We've seen this act, for now. We saw it in 2016, and he doesn't stop.

WATTERS: Juan, when you're at the beach and then you hear that noise and you look up and you see the plane fly that little banner about dollar Coronas, it's a good feeling.

WILLIAMS: Is that right?

WATTERS: Yeah, everybody loves that.

PAVLICH: Nobody looks away from the --

WATTERS: That's true.

PAVLICH: All right, coming up, we have a special treat for you. A live edition of animals are great, featuring this little guy, plus a kangaroo sloth and link, up next on The Five.

GUTFELD: It's Jerry Nadler.

PAVLICH: Nancy Pelosi melting down on the media over gun control. We'll play the video for you up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Democrats ramping up their gun-control rhetoric. Nancy Pelosi is leading the way by unleashing on Mitch McConnell and even the media. Check out these intense confrontations with reporters.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALIF.: I'm getting very angry about this silliness of these questions. Don't ask me what we haven't done. We have done it. And if you are annoyed with my impatience, it's because people are dying. Senator McConnell hasn't acted.

Why don't we spend some time going over to see Mitch McConnell and ask him why he doesn't want to save lives. Why is it that you're hung up on the word over here when lives are at stake over there?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: And that's not all, 2020 Dem Beto O'Rourke now telling banks and credit card companies to refuse service on assault weapons sales. I actually kind of appreciated the passion from Nancy Pelosi. I haven't seen that a long time.

PERINO: I'm watching and -- good for her, right? So she's got -- she's got a point to make. However, you can always tell when politicians come back from a recess and they have new focus group polling information. So what this tells me is that it doesn't work for them to go after Trump. It only works for them to go after McConnell on this, right, because --

WATTERS: It's a good point.

PERINO: -- if you think of -- think of Jim Carrey last week from Hollywood, right? So he complains that Mitch McConnell is worse than Osama Bin Laden. That more people have died because Mitch McConnell won't do anything, than Osama Bin Laden -- and then they come back from their recess and they're not saying let's take a trip down to Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House and find out what Trump's willing to do, which is what McConnell and all of his people are saying like, we'll do something depending on what the president says he is for.

I don't blame them. I think that's smart politics and strategy. But for them, on the Democratic side, I think they have decided Mitch McConnell is public enemy number one on this. Mitch McConnell is very patient, so he's probably not bothered.

WATTERS: Greg, you just got back from your own recess.

GUTFELD: That's true.

WATTERS: What were the focus groups is telling you over there?

GUTFELD: Well, I did absolutely no research whatsoever, unless you count drinking whiskey alone. Saying that there're too many guns is like saying there're too many cars and there're too many drugs. It's not a debate anymore. So I have an idea -- I pitched you and you never responded to me --

PAVLICH: I don't understand cars very much.

GUTFELD: OK. OK. So here's my theory, there's an argument that whenever you talk about these so-called assault rifles, they're no different than hunting rifles, and it's basically true. They're the same fire power. So what's the difference, cosmetics. There something about the cosmetics that attracts a certain person, right, versus a different person.

The hunter doesn't pose in front of the mirror. The guy with all the accoutrements does -- the difference between a driver of a basic Jetta and a driver who dresses it up with fancy spoilers and stripe. One is a responsible driver, the other advertises his own recklessness. So if we don't want to touch the powerful nature of a gun, why can't we address the cosmetic appeal, which tends to attract a certain kind of guy, a white, lonely male who poses and fantasizes in front of a mirror.

This is merely a suggestion on my part. I'm pro-second amendment. I'm not talking about banning guns. I'm taking about if the cosmetic appeal is one of these elements that attracts somebody, what if he took it away?

WATTERS: Juan, what would you say if they got rid of the military stylization that they attach to these rifles, which, as Greg said, are exactly the same as a hunting rifle?

WILLIAMS: No. I think the key here is the high capacity, is when you make it possible to buy high-capacity magazines that fit on to these guns. I think, then, people think this opens it up to be far more --

WATTERS: What's high-capacity in your opinion?

WILLIAMS: I'm not an expert --

WATTERS: No, but I mean -- you just said, you want them to load each round like --

WILLIAMS: By the way -- yes --

WATTERS: You do?

WILLIAMS: -- I think people are worry. You know it's sad to say because --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Let me finish for a second.

WATTERS: OK, go ahead.

WILLIAMS: It's sad to say, most of the murders, you know, that we see on the streets of big cities, which is where most of this happens, happens with handguns.

WATTERS: Right.

GUTFELD: True.

WILLIAMS: But what you see with these weapons that people are very turned off by is that you can -- you don't have high capacity and keep firing, as we saw in Vegas, as we saw in El Paso. But I will say this, I just think, right now, the polls are overwhelming, 89 percent of Americans, 8 out of 10 Republicans want background checks. We saw a letter from 145 top CEO's today saying, please do something.

And guess what? The reason they're not doing anything is not Mitch McConnell because -- but he's -- he's like a rock in the road. It's President Trump and he's in the pocket of the NRA. Talk about a special interest --

PAVLICH: President Trump, actually, risked a lot with his base and with second amendment supporters in the last couple of weeks by considering some of the proposals that Democrats have put on the table, in terms of confiscation, a ban on semiautomatic sporting rifles. You say that most Americans want background checks, well, I have news for you. We have background checks in this country. The FBI does 24 million background checks every single year. We have those --

GUTFELD: You're an expert in this. Do you think my idea is stupid?

PAVLICH: Yeah, I do.

GUTFELD: OK. I just want to know because I saw your face and you're like going that doesn't make it -- but why is it stupid?

PAVLICH: Well, it's not -- I wouldn't say it's stupid. It's nice to think outside the box about why people may be attracted to these things, right? It's not because they can have overcapacity, whatever term you want to use, magazines. But I say that because the majority of mass shootings in this country are actually are carried out with handguns.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PAVLICH: So, this idea that they're only attracted to semi-automatic rifles, just as true.

GUTFELD: Right.

PAVLICH: And this is the most popular firearm in America. So, when you have 15 million people who own plus an AR15, it's not really going to do--

GUTFELD: So, you're saying, I'm right.

PAVLICH: Sure. Yes. Greg is always correct.

WATTERS: All right.

PAVLICH: I hate to go up against you.

WATTERS: Up next, a picture says a thousand words. Find out why Hillary Clinton was pretending to be President. Plus, it's getting wild in here for Greg's birthday. Look at that. We call it the six now. We have a new guest on set. And more Animals Are Great. A live edition coming up.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: It was as if Hillary knew today was my birthday. For what a gift she gave me and you, dear viewers. Check out these pictures of her spending an hour, leafing through her emails as part of an art exhibit in Venice. Venice, Italy, not Venice, California.

I have a sneaking suspicion; she wasn't going to do this in a Southern California mall next to an anti-Ms. No, she's off to Europe where they don't have cameras or the Internet, so no one will surely see this. And if anyone takes a picture, they can just mysteriously die in a prison suicide. Just look at her. And you thought Bill was the exhibitionist in the family. Thank God they didn't turn his most memorable office moment into art.

So, I hope she got paid and it better be a cool 10 million, because nothing less would get me to humiliate myself like that. And believe me I know humiliation. Speaking to the bill. Where the hell is Bill. He's the real winner here as long as she's paid to sit there for hours. He'll be haunting the Venice version of Hooters. But it's sad. She should be enjoying her best life, not reliving the worst moments in front of strangers.

But she can't let go of the past or apparently the paycheck. As the curator admits the exhibition is a way to allude to an alternative world that will never exist. The bright side. It never will.

So, Juan I think she did this for me, she knew it was my birthday, she knew this would make me happy. Now, are you going to do something for me for my birthday as well that will match that?

WILLIAMS: Well, I'm going to bring some animals along. We're going to have some fun. We're going to make animals your celebration today. Happy Birthday.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

WILLIAMS: But I must say, I didn't understand this. It looked to me like you know self-mockery. But I guess that it was the curators who did it. And by the way, I'm totally turned off this, because some of those emails are my emails. I don't want her reading that stuff.

GUTFELD: That is true.

WILLIAMS: But I just think that we play into the Russians game time and time again during the campaign when this became a big news story for no reason and now, she's keeping it alive.

GUTFELD: It's like Dana, she can't let go.

PERINO: See, one of the great things about getting older and they are wealthy. They don't need to do it.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: You can say no.

GUTFELD: Yes, not if you like money.

PERINO: No, I'm not actually going to do that.

GUTFELD: Not if you like money. I don't know she got paid, she must have gotten paid--

WATTERS: This was her idea.

PERINO: Really?

WATTERS: This was her idea. They were having this event and all of a sudden three days before they got a call from Team Clinton. Hey, she'd like to stop by. They thought she was kidding.

PERINO: Did you do more research than I did? Mark this occasion.

WATTERS: I was early. I was on the Daily Briefing today.

GUTFELD: Katie, so I have a theory, it's called the no friends signal. If you accept this deal, then you had no friends to talk you out of it. Like you've got to have a close friend who says, look, this is going to look bad.

PERINO: But if you suggested the idea.

PAVLICH: I do think that's a very smart idea as opposed to your other idea.

GUTFELD: Oh! My gun. By the way, you said to people at home. When I come up with a gun idea, don't just say it's stupid. Say why it's stupid or I'll block you.

PAVLICH: OK. Fair enough.

WATTERS: Well, there is a limit on Twitter, right.

PAVLICH: What is wrong with her. What is wrong with her. She sent this out. I think it's just another display of her elitist disdain for the American people and getting away with everything her entire life.

WILLIAMS: Hos is this elite?

PAVLICH: This is a woman - because she didn't get in trouble for this and--

WILLIAMS: She didn't get - oh, my gosh.

PAVLICH: No, not criminally. She put people's lives--

WILLIAMS: It was nothing criminal--

PAVLICH: Classified information.

WILLIAMS: It was nothing - oh, yes. Go talk to Jared and Ivanka.

WATTERS: I don't think they had a server.

PAVLICH: This is the same exact thing.

WATTERS: Think about what type of person says on 9/11, I'm going to go to a foreign country. I'm going to stand behind a fake Oval Office and then I'm going to read through for an hour the e-mails that basically cost me the election. It's that type of thinking that cost her the election.

Trump actually said this. He goes, Hillary, she just doesn't get it. And she just doesn't get it. She actually said this was a direct quote. You know I read the emails and they were kind of boring. Well, why were they boring, Hillary. You deleted 33,000 of the juicy ones. Those were the ones from Juan.

GUTFELD: Jesse, you're scaring.

WATTERS: And Greg speaking of humiliation--

WILLIAMS: What?

PAVLICH: You know who is missing?

WATTERS: The two defining moments in Hillary's whole professional career humiliated by Bill and then humiliated by Trump.

WILLIAMS: Get out. Better than inviting the Taliban to Camp David on 9/11. Gee, who would do that? As Rush Limbaugh said, whoever had that idea should have their head examined. Rush, it's your pal, Donald Trump. PERINO: OK.

GUTFELD: Trump has always had this practice. If he's going to meet with somebody, he'll meet with the person, whether they're good or bad. It's just - it's his thing. You can hate it all you want, but it's his thing. WILLIAMS: Hey, Birthday Boy, look who is here.

PERINO: He's so soft.

GUTFELD: Look at that. He really is. He weighs about eight pounds. Very calm. PERINO: He's a good little baby.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: His name is Zuko.

GUTFELD: Zuko, yes.

WATTERS: He's so soft. Is this a boy or a girl?

GUTFELD: It's boy. Look at the pocket. All right get ready for a live edition of Animals Are Great with this kangaroo, another furry friends. Next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: All right, America, it's time for a live edition of Animals Are Great. That's right, Greg in celebration of your birthday, we've got some special friends from the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium. Joining us on set along with President and CEO, Tom Stalf, it's so good to have you here with us. And I think you have already made Greg's favorite birthday ever.

GUTFELD: While you skip the jingle, but that's OK. Yes, I am in love with this little creature here, he is my soulmate essentially.

PERINO: Tell us about this guy.

TOM STALF, PRESIDENT AND CEO, COLUMBUS ZOO AND AQUARIUM: That's a two toed sloth and yes, definitely a great animal to enjoy from Central and South America.

GUTFELD: Yes.

STALF: They are just a wonderful animal that you can find—

PERINO: Can Greg go look at it.

STALF: Yes, go over there.

WILLIAMS: No, wait, wait. You told me not to touch it.

STALF: Don't touch it. But you can go over there.

WILLIAMS: I don't want Greg hurt.

STALF: He'll be fine.

GUTFELD: It'll be worth it.

STALF: This is a two toed sloth, two different types of things. Two toed, and three toed.

PAVLICH: He's reaching out to you.

WATTERS: Does it do anything besides just hang there?

STALF: That's it. I mean you know--

GUTFELD: It's a lot like you. Comes in late in the day, barely does any work, you are enthralled with me and I'm enthralled with you.

PERINO: Greg has loved sloths for a long time. If you are a fan of Red Eye.

GUTFELD: Yes, I love sloths. They're the greatest creature on our Earth.

PERINO: What attracted you to the sloth in the first place?

GUTFELD: I like the fact that they take their time. And they can poison you. Correct?

STALF: No.

GUTFELD: Oh!

WATTERS: You did the research.

STALF: But the thing that's really cool about them. They live in a rainforest. They rarely go down from their tree and they'll just eat leaves all day. That's why they're so slow.

GUTFELD: They're so slow. How do they protect themselves from fast predators? I thought that they had sticky fingers and they killed them with the fingers.

STALF: No--

GUTFELD: Did I dream that?

STALF: Hang on to a tree and yes, that was a dream.

GUTFELD: That was a dream. I have dreams like that, sticky fingers and sloths.

WILLIAMS: Well, you be sure to be careful because Jesse was whispering to me that he likes his ass.

PERINO: All right, Tom--

WATTERS: Juan, that was between us.

PERINO: That is a sloth. Greg, we have another favorite animal for you. This is lynx. We have a lynx, this is Tebow.

STALF: Tebow has got a really special story. This is Suzi Rapp from the Columbus Zoo.

PERINO: Yes, Suzi we remember you from the 2016--

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: He likes to mess with paper.

STALF: So, this is a young cat. It's five months old, Tebow. It's a Canada lynx.

WATTERS: That's my One More Thing.

STALF: Not anymore. But this beautiful animal that weighs about 35 pounds when it's an adult. Look at how big their feet.

PERINO: Does he have something wrong with his back.

STALF: Yes. So, he had a disability when it was born. But at Ohio State we have an awesome vet, Doctor Dykes and they actually have helped this little guy out and we've had several surgeries. He's going to be just fine.

PERINO: Do you want to touch him, Jesse.

WATTERS: I could, but like am I allowed to pet.

STALF: Go ahead. But this is a beautiful animal, you'd find in northern North America, so Alaska, Canada, northern parts of the United States.

WATTERS: One of the course pelts, wouldn't you say.

GUTFELD: Much like your hair, Jesse.

(CROSSTALK)

STALF: So, look at the ear toughs right on the--

PERINO: I know that's pretty.

STALF: isn't that beautiful.

GUTFELD: You know Jesse, if you stole them, we'd have a missing lynx. You know, this is Fox and Friends. PERINO: This is pretty good. This is a pretty good birthday. Thank you, Tebow for coming. We really appreciate it. And now—

STALF: Your favorite.

PERINO: We don't want the lynx and the kangaroo.

GUTFELD: No two toed sloth. That guy was the greatest.

PERINO: I'm going to hold the Kangaroo, OK, this is Zuko. What happen if we put Zuko down? Would he jump?

GUTFELD: You want to put him down. He's still young.

STALF: This is a little--

GUTFELD: Typical farm girl. She sees an animal; she wants to put it down.

WATTERS: Can we see his pouch because everybody wants to look at the pouch.

STALF: So, you want to go - just be able to. Yes, so this is a red kangaroo.

(CROSSTALK)

STALF: This is a young male. So--

PERINO: There's not going to be a pouch.

STALF: There's no pouch.

WATTERS: OK.

STALF: On a female and--

WATTERS: Just like biology class. So, this is the largest animal in Australia. So, they'll be well pretty tall about five - about five foot.

WATTERS: Just as tall as Greg.

STALF: Yes.

GUTFELD: That was unnecessary. Smells a little rough. Someone has been in the outback for a little too long.

STALF: Beautiful animal though. Kangaroos travel about 40 miles an hour. It's unbelievable.

WATTERS: Greg, do you want to have a baby now. How does it feel?

GUTFELD: Yes. Only if it's free and it has a pouch.

PERINO: I'll take him back. Jesse, would you like to hold him.

WATTERS: Sure.

PERINO: Well, here you go.

PAVLICH: Getting brave, Jesse.

PERINO: And you can pass him down, because he's very easy going Zuko.

GUTFELD: Can somebody check on CNN right now.

WATTERS: Go ahead. I'm good.

WILLIAMS: What's wrong.

WATTERS: It might slip me.

PERINO: OK. And we have - there is Joey and then we want to keep going because--

GUTFELD: My second favorite. STALF: Well, the thing I love about this little penguin. It's a South African penguin. So, every time we talk about penguins, people think that they're--

WATTERS: Don't do it. It's not worth it.

STALF: They always think that they're found in cold areas, but out of the 17 different species, only five live in the Antarctic. None live in the Arctic.

GUTFELD: Really.

STALF: This is a tropical bird, highly endangered and the thing I love about zoos. We get 200 million people that go to zoos every single year and we raise money for conservation. And last year, the members of all zoos and aquariums that are members of the ACA, we raised $231 million for field conservation, just like this--

PERINO: And why do you need to have - what's - wow, I've never felt a penguin.

STALF: Isn't that something.

PERINO: Yes. That's the feathers, real soft.

GUTFELD: You've only eaten them Dana. So, you get them after they've been--

STALF: Yes.

PERINO: Do they have these penguins in South Africa.

STALF: Yes. So, they're only found in South Africa and--

WATTERS: South Africans.

STALF: 20,000 breeding pair. Did you see them?

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH: I saw on the beach. That's really cool.

STALF: When you walk at the beach, it is walking right around, isn't it amazing.

WATTERS: Kind of walks like Mitt Romney a little bit.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: But look at this, look at the kangaroo. I think Katie he's in love with you.

PAVLICH: He's my Australian cousin.

STALF: Absolutely.

PAVLICH: So, we're bonding.

STALF: Just relax and it's so fun to see animals you know. I think they're calming and it's really a great story--

GUTFELD: Now, can this be used as a therapy pet on a plane?

STALF: No, no service animal here.

WATTERS: Emotional support penguin.

WILLIAMS: But you know that raises a great question, Tom. How did these animals get from Columbus to New York City?

STALF: We drive.

WILLIAMS: You didn't get on the plane.

STALF: No, they drive.

WILLIAMS: And Tom, do they stay at the Ritz?

STALF: We stayed at a real nice hotel.

WATTERS: We're paying for that.

WILLIAMS: Where do they sleep in the hotel.

STALF: Yes. So, they stay right with us.

WILLIAMS: Come on.

STALF: They'll go in the bathtub. They're having fun.

WATTERS: You sleep with the sloth.

STALF: Yes.

PERINO: You do.

STALF: Yes.

PAVLICH: Does a sloth sleep upside down.

STALF: Yes. Everything. Everything about a sloth is upside down.

PERINO: So, they're just going to hang, he will fall asleep.

WATTERS: What do you just put him in like the shower curtain the thing. He just sleep--

STALF: He's got a little house that we bring with.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Right now, he's 10 times more interesting than Joe Biden.

PERINO: Will you watch the debate tonight with the penguin and the sloth and the kangaroo?

GUTFELD: Would that be great viewing party.

STALF: Yes.

PERINO: Greg, any last words?

PAVLICH: Katie, are you OK with this kangaroo.

PAVLICH: I'm good. I'm going to take him home.

GUTFELD: This is the best birthday I've ever had on TV. Great job, producers.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Lynx is a little upset. All right. I think are we good here. All right. Thank you, Tom.

WATTERS: Thank you so much.

GUTFELD: Great job.

PERINO: Suzi Rapp, thank you so much. Columbus Zoo and Aquarium, you've got to go visit it. Maybe we'll come back one day.

GUTFELD: Where the Animals Are Great jingle now. You forgot.

PERINO: Animals Are Great. One More Thing is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Fabulous fun on The Five today. And now it's time for One More Thing with Dana Perino.

PERINO: All right. It wasn't just animals that we got for Greg. We've got a cake too, so we've got to bring in the cake. And what's on the cake. Let's see here. Animals Are Great. Going to drop at this time.

GUTFELD: Doesn't end here.

PERINO: Very, very good one.

GUTFELD: Delightful.

PERINO: And I'm going to do my One More Thing real quickly. Two high school students, this is really sweet, surprised a freshman classmate with new clothes after he had been bullied for three straight weeks. So, the kid was wearing the same clothes over and over again at MLK college prep school. His name is Michael Todd and that changed when Christopher Graham and Antoine Garrett handed him a gift. It was bags full of shirts, shorts and shoes. They grabbed a bunch of clothes so that they could help this this young man. Here is one of the kids that was the helper.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He want some and I was like I think this is going to make him smile. He told me he was like you two the only two to actually ever give me a gift.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Super sweet. A great lesson.

WILLIAMS: Greg, straighten up, it's your turn to do One More Thing.

PERINO: It's your turn.

GUTFELD: All right. The Gutfeld monologues, we have two coming up this weekend. Where am I? The first one is in Orlando September 14th, Saturday and then Atlanta, Georgia September 15th. There is still tickets remaining, go to ggutfeld.com and buy some now. And now it's time for this. Whatever it is. All right, what the heck is that. All right, so I was in Japan for about eight days. I came across something really strange. Take a look at this at a store. You take a look at it. Do you know what that is? That is actually a pet substitute. And when you pet it, it gets excited.

PERINO: I'm going to pass, hard pass.

GUTFELD: It's for people who can't have pets in apartments and stuff. Just pet it and it's kind of gets a little - I don't know excited.

PERINO: No.

WILLIAMS: All right, that's enough, that's enough young fellow. By the way, look at this sloth over here.

GUTFELD: Oh! My God, he smells the cake.

WILLIAMS: I think he's going--

PERINO: He's like I've had it.

WILLIAMS: He is out of here. All right. My turn for One More Thing. You know we have Greg's birthday today, but how about a birthday cake popping out of tragedy. In Northern Ireland, a man who tragically lost his eight- year-old daughter purchased a stranger's big birthday cake because he knew that day would have been his little girl's first birthday.

When the child went to pick up the cake. She was left in tears. Take a look at the Peppa Pig theme cake that ended up with this little girl. The anonymous stranger later identified as Gareth Bronte. He's raising money for a neonatal ward of the hospital where his daughter passed in a birthday card, he wrote. I'm unable to buy my daughter a birthday cake of her own, but I hope you enjoy this one. God bless Hannah's Daddy. What a moment.

GUTFELD: Look at the sloth.

WILLIAMS: All right.

WATTERS: So, I was getting ready for Special Report.

WILLIAMS: Jesse, you're up.

WATTERS: All right. National School Picture Day. So, I decided to embarrass myself. I think I was in the second or third grade. Take a look. Look at that adorable young man.

WILLIAMS: Is that you?

WATTERS: That is me.

PERINO: You had a lot of hair then too.

WILLIAMS: Wow.

WATTERS: I had the parted hair, the missing tooth. The collar was down, which is very controversial. But other than that, what a splendid young fellow.

PAVLICH: Very nice, Jesse.

WILLIAMS: Really. You were a handsome fellow. All right.

PAVLICH: School picture day for the sloth over there.

WILLIAMS: Katie, you're up.

GUTFELD: Hello there, kiddo.

PAVLICH: OK. So, speaking of school. An Idaho man with a pendent for breaking Guinness World Records achieved his latest record by breaking 98 of these. Watch.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

WILLIAMS: He's breaking pencil.

PAVLICH: He's breaking pencils. So, David Rush has already won 100 Guinness records to his name but never enough. Right. So, he's an advocate for STEM education. He was at a school conference when he went for the record and passed it by eight pencils. Not only did he beat it, but he beat it by eight. Snapping bamboo chopsticks--

PERINO: Those are perfectly good pencils.

PAVLICH: So, he went out to buy hundreds of pencils just to decide.

PERINO: I don't know. Those are perfectly good pencils.

PAVLICH: They are.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: This upsets you.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: All right, but here's something else to upset you, Dana. The sloth has left his perch and he is now on the ground.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: He's really showing off down there.

GUTFELD: He's fantastic. Can they be domesticated? I can't take him home with me. He's like the perfect child.

WILLIAMS: Wait a second. What if he becomes a Fox host? He's in the studio. He's taken over. PERINO: Do you think Fox and Friends will complain about us tomorrow. Remember when they cooked seafood.

WILLIAMS: Hey, he's looking at you, Katie. Katie, he is looking at you--

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Let's give him a piece of birthday cake.

GUTFELD: No, you don't give - you'll kill the animal.

WATTERS: That was a nice idea.

PERINO: Great show.

WILLIAMS: All right, set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of The Five. You never know what's coming Special Report is up next with our pal Bret Baier.

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