Ex-tennis star Jelena Dokic opens up about suicidal thoughts: 'I am definitely on the road to recovery'
Jelena Dokic was a French Open doubles finalist in 2001
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Jelena Dokic, a former top-ranked Australian tennis player who finished in the semifinals of the 2000 Wimbledon tournament, courageously opened up about her struggles with mental health Monday.
Dokic, who retired in 2014, opened up on Instagram about her struggles and revealed she had suicidal thoughts in April. She wrote in an Instagram post she almost "jumped off my 26th floor balcony and took my own life."
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Donna Vekic of Croatia is interviewed by Jelena Dokic after winning her Women's Singles first round match against Maria Sharapova of Russia on day two of the 2020 Australian Open at Melbourne Park on January 21, 2020 in Melbourne, Australia. (Hannah Peters/Getty Images)
"Will never forget the day," she began. "Everything is blurry. Everything is dark. No tone, no picture, nothing makes sense…..just tears, sadness, depression, anxiety and pain. The last six months have been tough. It’s been constant crying everywhere. From hiding in the bathroom when at work to wipe away my tears so that nobody sees it to the unstoppable crying at home within my four walls has been unbearable. Constant feelings of sadness and pain are just not going away and my life has been shattered. I blame myself, I don’t think I am worthy of loving and I am scared."
She wrote she knows she had a lot of be "grateful" for and then added "I start to hate myself because by feeling this way I feel like I am not grateful because I mustn’t be since I want to end it all."
Dokic wrote she wanted to stop the suffering but revealed she began to seek professional help and it "saved my life."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}COCO GAUFF HAS 'CONFIDENCE' AFTER FRENCH OPEN FINAL
Jelena Dokic of Australia to plays a forehand during her first round match against Ana Ivanovic of Serbia during day two of the Brisbane International 2010 at Queensland Tennis Centre on January 4, 2010 in Brisbane, Australia. (Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)
"This is not easy to write but I have always been open, honest and vulnerable with you all and I deeply believe in the power of sharing our stories to help us get through things and to help each other," Dokic added. I am writing this because I know I am not the only one struggling. Just know that you are not alone.
"I am not going to say that I am doing great now but I am definitely on the road to recovery. Some days are better than others and sometimes I take a step forward and then a step back but I’m fighting and I believe I can get through this."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}She vowed she would be "back stronger than ever."
Dokic was 348-221 as a singles competitor and 118-100 in the doubles competition.
Jelena Dokic of Australia reacts after losing a point in her first round match against Ana Ivanovic of Serbia during day two of the Brisbane International 2010 at Queensland Tennis Centre on January 4, 2010 in Brisbane, Australia. (Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)
She and Conchita Martinez lost to Virginia Ruano Pascual and Paola Suarez in the 2001 French Open doubles final.
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She was a tennis broadcaster for a short time after her playing career was over