Worst. Episode. Ever.

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Trump, Pelosi, Schumer spar on border wall in Oval Office

President Trump, Rep. Pelosi and Sen. Schumer debate border security in front of reporters at the White House ahead of their private meeting on government funding.

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On the roster: Worst. Episode. Ever. - McConnell says Senate to vote on criminal justice bill - Statehouse fights reflect bitter battle for Midwest - Audible: Well it’s a start - Good thing it wasn’t a full rafter

WORST. EPISODE. EVER.
If Joseph de Maistre was right that every nation gets the government it deserves, then Americans who watched the leaders of their two great parties today must be wondering what we did so wrong to have this inflicted upon us.

At one point in the spectacle House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi remarked, “Unfortunately, this has spiraled downward.” You can say that again…

Pelosi had gone with her Senate counterpart Chuck Schumer to negotiate with President Trump and an either sleepy or intensely suffering Vice President Mike Pence about how to keep the whole government open beyond the upcoming Dec. 21 deadline.

At conclaves like these, it’s not uncommon to have what is known in the parlance of White House coverage as a “pool spray.” That’s when the reporters, producers and photographers taking their shift of following the president through his day are invited into the room to take pictures.

In the old days, a president might use this as an opportunity to get on the record about this or that and do so in a controlled way. Since the interaction with the press is intended to feel incidental and there’s supposed to be a real meeting about to take place, presidents can say what they want before aids hustle journalists out the door.

Trump has learned to like these sprays, just as he has learned to like the similar experience of shouting responses to reporters above the whine of Marine One’s engines as he departs the executive mansion. Like his predecessors, he is better at hearing some questions than others.

Today’s spectacle was a riff on the same technique. The spray turned into a stream and eventually a geyser as Trump opened the negotiations in full public view.

Now let’s start with the understanding that this meeting was mostly for show no matter what. It is in the interest of both sides to show that they have been working to avoid a pre-Christmas shutdown that will be greeted unhappily by federal workers, markets and voters in general.

Old and busted: Private pleasantries followed by public recriminations. The new hotness: Watch What Happens Live.

Now, that’s not to say that the childish conduct we saw today is either morally or practically worse than the phony, two-faced way of doing business before. In fact, the falsity of negotiations throughout the later George W. Bush term and the entirety of the Obama presidency probably did more harm to the prospects of actual deal making.

Political horse trading relies on leaders privately coming to terms on not just the details of the deal but also the way in which it will be discussed publicly.

One of former House Speaker John Boehner’s complaints about Barack Obama was that when it came to the discussion of how the terms of an agreement would be framed for reporters and constituents, Obama offered little or no accommodation.

In fact, it is often the negotiations around how to describe the deal that is harder than the deal itself. It does no use to have a cordial and “productive” conversation if the parties go sandbag each other when talking about the topic.

It may sound stupid that a government still under the control of one party would grind its gears so hard over what amounts to six hundredths of a percent of its annual expenditures. But when that difference is over border security things get complicated.

Immigration has emerged as the most useful wedge issue in American politics. It incites serious passions among extremists on both ends, always useful for avoiding difficult compromises or substantive progress.

It is not in Trump’s interest to solve the problem since his political base would far rather have a shutdown than any compromise with Democrats.

It’s not in Pelosi’s interest since she is working feverishly to shore up support among younger, more liberal members of her conference. “Vote for me, I caved to Donald Trump on the border wall” is not exactly a stirring re-election slogan.

Now, it would be in the interest of the nation if they would come to some deal to not just avoid a pointless, costly shutdown but also to address issues of immigration on a longer-term basis.

But that’s the country’s problem. And based on what we observed today in a shabby, bickering, reality-show set piece it’s going to keep on like that for the foreseeable future.

Real progress requires not just goodwill but good faith. And as we all know, those make for terrible reality TV.

THE RULEBOOK: COPY THAT
“Divide et impera [divide and command] must be the motto of every nation that either hates or fears us.” – Alexander Hamilton, Federalist No. 7

TIME OUT: A VEEP FOR ALL SEASONS
Enjoy this small portion of the great profile on Julia Louis-Dreyfus by the New Yorker’s Ariel Levy. New Yorker: “Julia Louis-Dreyfus was not feeling relaxed. In a few weeks, she would be receiving the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, in a televised ceremony at the Kennedy Center, and she was anxious about her speech. ‘It’s, like, ‘If you’re so f***ing funny, get up onstage and prove it!’’ she said one morning in Los Angeles. She was sitting in a white bathrobe, having her makeup done, in a room at the Glendale Hilton, where she was shooting an episode of her HBO series, ‘Veep.’ Louis-Dreyfus has nine Screen Actors Guild Awards and a Golden Globe, and she shares with Cloris Leachman the record for the most Emmys accumulated by an actor: one for playing Elaine Benes, on ‘Seinfeld,’ the role that made her a star; one for her performance in ‘The New Adventures of Old Christine’; and six for playing Selina Meyer, on ‘Veep.’ But the Twain prize felt different. ‘Anyone can bomb,’ she muttered. ‘Oh, God. Whatever.’”

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SCOREBOARD
Trump job performance 
Average approval: 41.4 percent
Average disapproval: 52.2 percent
Net Score: -10.8 points
Change from one week ago: up 2 points 
[Average includes: NPR/PBS/Marist: 43% approve - 49% disapprove; IBD: 39% approve - 55% disapprove; Grinnell/Selzer: 44% approve - 47% disapprove; Gallup: 40% approve - 56% disapprove; Quinnipiac University: 41% approve - 54% disapprove.]

MCCONNELL SAYS SENATE TO VOTE ON CRIMINAL JUSTICE BILL
National Review: “Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday that the Senate will vote in the coming weeks on the sharply contested criminal-justice-reform legislation that has divided congressional Republicans since receiving an endorsement from the White House in mid-November. During a floor speech Tuesday morning, McConnell told his colleagues to ‘be prepared to work between Christmas and New Year’s’ in order to ensure the bill receives a vote, the Washington Post first reported. The bill, called the First Step Act — a package of sweeping reforms designed to reduce incarceration rates and recidivism within the federal criminal-justice system — was drafted by Senate Judiciary Committee chairman Chuck Grassley of Iowa and Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois. Despite receiving broad bipartisan support and the staunch backing of White House adviser Jared Kushner, the bill has exposed a deep rift within the Republican caucus, as law-and-order hardliners led by Senator Tom Cotton of Arkansas have argued that it will lead to a surge in crime and accused Republican proponents of attempting to rush it through Congress. The intra-party debate hinges on whether potentially violent criminals and those who have committed particularly egregious drug offenses, such as the trafficking of large amounts of the synthetic opioid fentanyl, will be able to secure early release.”

Congress to vote on farm bill this week - Reuters: “U.S. lawmakers have reached an agreement on the Farm Bill that drops a proposal to tighten food stamps restrictions backed by President Donald Trump, and are looking to vote on it this week, according to congressional staffers. The agreement between Republicans and Democrats on the crucial piece of legislation caps a months-long bitter debate, and offers a spot of financial certainty to farmers suffering from the impact of the U.S. trade war with China. Programs covered by the bill include crop subsidies and support to growers seeking access to export markets. The final text shows Republicans in the lame duck Congress had to walk back from some demands, the biggest being the Trump-backed proposal to impose stricter worker requirements for recipients of food stamps. That debate had delayed the legislation beyond the most recent version’s expiration in September, and was finalized only after Democrats won a majority in the House of Representatives in the November midterm congressional elections.”

STATEHOUSE FIGHTS REFLECT BITTER BATTLE FOR MIDWEST
NYT: “When Michigan Republicans began moving legislation last week to limit the power of newly elected Democratic officials, some liberal activists shouted ‘shame!’ through the Capitol rotunda while others trailed legislators with boom microphones, live-streaming their interactions online to make them uncomfortable. … The continuing legislative maneuvers in Michigan and Wisconsin are part of a broader war for power in the Midwest, a politically prized region for both parties — but especially for Republicans, who are trying to dilute Democratic control ahead of bigger battles. … But now, with incoming Democratic governors set to have veto power over the next round of redistricting following the 2020 census, a handful of states are confronting either court challenges to the existing districts or new, more equitable rules for drawing the next decade of legislative boundaries. In Michigan, voters this year approved an independent redistricting commission, but Republican lawmakers are using the current lame duck session to try to curb the new Democratic secretary of state’s implementation of it. The Republican efforts could hurt the party’s image with moderate voters in a region that President Trump considers crucial for his 2020 re-election effort, and where his standing has fallen in suburbs that he would need to carry again to win.”

A tech billionaire’s controversial plan for Dem data - Politico: “Silicon Valley billionaire Reid Hoffman has teamed up with several former Obama administration officials to create an independent — and likely for-profit — database that would store all of the progressive community’s voter data, according to three sources familiar with the initiative. The project's backers intend to spend $35 million in the first year alone, with Hoffman, a co-founder of LinkedIn, as the primary investor. … Hoffman’s venture complicates plans for a separate data trust project being pushed by the Democratic National Committee, plans for which POLITICO first revealed last week. That effort is facing resistance from the Democratic state parties, which have prime ownership rights to the party’s voter file and are hesitant about licensing it to an outside entity. The DNC’s top leaders have been telling people that Hoffman’s project represents an ‘existential threat’ to the party, according to two sources with knowledge of the discussions.”

PLAY-BY-PLAY
Female House GOP members are taking on the party’s problem with women - Politico

Manafort to file a response to Mueller’s ‘crimes and lies’ this week - NBC News

Google CEO testifies on Capitol Hill - WSJ

Rick Scott personally spent $64 million on Florida Senate race - Roll Call

AUDIBLE: WELL IT’S A START
“Jesus loves Michael Cohen, but everybody else thinks he’s an idiot.” – Sen. John Kennedy, R-La., told CNN.

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GOOD THING IT WASN’T A FULL RAFTER
WBAY: “Video shows a turkey chasing a child down the street after school Monday [in Ashwaubenon, Wis.] A turkey chases a child on Shady Lane in this screenshot of video from Evan Skaletski on December 10, 2018. The child, weighed down by a backpack and something in his hand, is staying steps ahead of his pursuer in the bicycle lane. Suddenly, a sport utility vehicle veers in front of the turkey, cutting the cantankerous gobbler off from its prey. Evan Skaletski says this happened on Shady Lane near Hazelwood, which is just west of the I-41/Lombardi Avenue interchange. The child was walking home from school when the bird went in hot pursuit. Skaletski says the Good Samaritan who put their SUV between the turkey and the child gave the child a ride home. We don't know if this is the famous Ashwaubenon turkey ‘Smoke,’ but video of the chase could certainly hurt its running for the title of ‘Mayor of Ashwaubenon.’”

AND NOW, A WORD FROM CHARLES…
“Memory is sacred, but victimhood cannot be the foundation stone of Jewish identity. Traditional Judaism has 613 commandments. The philosopher Emil Fackenheim famously said that the 614th is to deny Hitler any posthumous victories. The reduction of Jewish identity to victimhood would be one such victory. It must not be permitted.” – Charles Krauthammer (1950-2018) writing in the Washington Post on March 10, 2016.

Chris Stirewalt is the politics editor for Fox News. Brianna McClelland contributed to this report. Want FOX News Halftime Report in your inbox every day? Sign up here.