The 'science' of the TomKat divorce

(AP)

I had a school girl crush on Tom Cruise.  After watching him in “Top Gun,” I thought he was the epitome of masculinity and charm.  As I got older, I heard gossip mill rumors that my beloved Tom lived a…a-hem complicated life.  I paid little attention to the mumblings as my affection for the film icon was one from afar.  However it’s no surprise that Katie Holmes, only a few years older than me, would fall under his spell.  She grew up in a generation that idolized the mega movie star.

No one knows what happens behind closed doors yet if we look at the relationship of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes aka TomKat it is easy to see the core issue.  Scientology whisperings aside, Tom was a controlling husband who wanted Katie to live up to his idea of what a wife and mother should be.

According to US Weekly reporter Jennifer Peros, “Many reports we are hearing is that Tom was very controlling. From everything to the way Katie dressed to the roles that she accepted. Tom wanted to make sure he had a say in everything Katie did. He hired security to constantly keep tabs on her while he was away, he had a Scientologist consultant follow Katie’s every move. She was just fed up with this and wanted to live her life again.”

Katie may have been living with an A-list star but like so many women, she became trapped in an unhappy, unfulfilled marriage where her identity became muddied.  She went from feeling sought after by one of the world’s most sought after men to becoming a present day version of a Stepford Wife.

If we look back at the “Oprah” couch-jumping incident in 2005, it is obvious that Tom’s behavior was that of an adolescent in puppy love; not a mature man. He fell in love with an idea of who Katie could be molded into while Katie fell in the love with the star on the big screen not the actual man.

After the initial sizzle of infatuation wore away, they were left with the reality of who they are as individuals.  Katie desperately tried to appease Tom but as she evolved into her adulthood, she realized that she could no longer play the part of Tom Cruise’s wife.  She wanted to not be controlled anymore but take control of her own life.

Katie, sometimes it’s better to watch the fantasy then live it.