"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is such a common question we ask little kids. A fireman, a teacher, a lawyer, a gymnast, a mom or dad, a writer, an astronaut.
Answers vary so widely but one particular profession that you will never hear is that a little kid wants to work in an abortion clinic.
Why? Because working in an abortion clinic is not normal.
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Yet thousands of (mostly) women do it. I was one of them for eight years but for the past decade, I’ve traveled to Washington, D.C. every January for the March for Life to be a witness for all of us who did choose to work in abortion clinics.
We march alongside thousands of other people who may not understand why we did what we did but thankfully have come to accept our small cohort of former abortion workers who have quite the story to tell.
I loved getting asked what I wanted to be when I grow up when I was a kid because I knew exactly the answer: I wanted to be a doctor. I used to wheel my baby dolls around in a baby bed and pretend it was gurney.
In a sick twist of fate and misguided morals, I did so much worse than my mind as a little girl could ever comprehend to those babies when I grew up.
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I, like many, many people who work in abortion clinics, chose to do so because I thought I was helping women. That and the money.
Abortions aren’t cheap and the money is pretty good working at these clinics. I thought that providing women with safe abortions was the most compassionate thing I could do, that I was instrumental in helping them fix their problem of being pregnant when they didn’t want to be.
Working inside of an abortion clinic isn’t normal. It’s not normal to see women in the recovery room with completely blank stares and hollow eyes after their abortions when hours earlier they looked totally different. These clinic workers have seen and participated in the stuff of nightmares.
I understand it’s a hard thing to imagine sometimes, why someone would choose to work in a place that took life instead of saving it but what many people cannot comprehend is that we are so normal, just like them.
We have families to provide for, we have groceries we need to buy, tuition, electricity, and other bills to pay for. We like to hang out with friends, go shopping, relax at the beach, or go to the movies.
There are honestly not that many differences between those who work in abortion clinics and those who have normal jobs. People don’t see that and while it was frustrating not to be seen without the attachment of my profession, it’s understandable. I mean, I ran a Planned Parenthood clinic in Texas. I came home with blood on my shoes some days from abortion procedures. I saw and did things I never should have done.
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Yet working inside of an abortion clinic isn’t normal. It’s not normal to piece together the body parts of aborted babies. It’s not normal to assure a tearful woman on the table that everything is going to be just fine when she’s bleeding profusely after an abortion.
It’s not normal to see women in the recovery room with completely blank stares and hollow eyes after their abortions when hours earlier they looked totally different. These clinic workers have seen and participated in the stuff of nightmares. They often feel alone, depressed, angry, and misunderstood.
Yet they themselves are normal and shouldn’t be ostracized from the pro-life movement. They should be recklessly loved with compassion.
After I left Planned Parenthood, I realized there were no organizations that specifically ministered to the needs of former abortion workers. I was surprised but then again, working in abortion clinics isn’t normal.
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I eventually began a ministry that did help former abortion workers to quit their jobs, to help them with finances, to offer retreats and counseling, and to connect them with other women who innately understood them and what they had been through.
After 11 years, we have helped 645 people leave the abortion industry. To assist our ministry to serve those who leave the industry, we informally ask them about their experiences and have found shocking results.
Thirty percent of those surveyed witnessed forced abortions on women and girls who did not give their consent. Thirty-six percent saw abortions done on suspected sex trafficking victims. Forty-nine percent said their clinics had abortion quotas. Thirty-six percent said they were sometimes or regularly under the influence of drugs and alcohol during working hours at the clinic.
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Some women left comments on our survey that both brought tears to my eyes as I remembered my own experiences at Planned Parenthood and that also further strengthened my own resolve to tell their stories.
One woman said, "We manipulated and coerced women into having abortions and likewise deterred and prevented men from supporting their partner."
Another woman said she wouldn’t wish this job on her worst enemy and another said, "I still can’t believe I used to rinse the aborted babies down the drain and then turn on the garbage disposal."
These are the women that you’ll see marching on Friday at the March for Life. They are in the crowd supporting life. They are women just like you and me who made really bad decisions to work in the abortion industry but have had the courage to leave and start over.
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The end of Roe v. Wade doesn’t mean the end of abortion and in fact, I’d argue that it is abortion workers that we need to reach the most because if they quit and start telling their stories, clinics will shut down as we have seen already across the country.
My hope is that every year at the March for Life and in state marches, more and more former abortion workers will be in those crowds until abortion becomes unthinkable.