I understand Kate Middleton. I did the same thing when cancer came for me
Like Kate, I went through myriad emotions. Shock, fear and determination to protect my 3 kids
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Like most of the world's mothers, I didn’t think I had a lot in common with Kate Middleton. She is one of the world’s most beautiful women, well-educated and athletic. She has deftly navigated being a real-life princess even though she was born far from the halls of Buckingham Palace.
But her recent announcement showed me that Kate and I have at least one thing in common: facing cancer with young children.
In the summer of 2022, I went in for a routine appendix removal. After the uneventful surgery, life seemed to return to normal… until doctors told me they had found a cancerous tumor in the appendix.
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In her video, Kate spoke from the heart about something every parent can relate to: protecting her children. (The Prince and Princess of Wales Twitter)
Like Kate, I went through myriad emotions. Shock, of course – I was only 38! Fear, because I had three kids under 10. And single-minded determination to protect my kids, whatever came next.
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Kate’s video makes it clear she faced these same emotions, but with an added challenge: my desire to protect my kids simply meant carrying on as normal to the outside world until we were ready to let people know.
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Her silence, however, resulted in salacious rumors on social media and in the press. "Where's Kate Middleton" became a meme. There was even a rumor that her husband was having an affair.
Princess Catherine has been one of the most public figures of our age, gamely posing for the international press hours after having each of her babies, when she probably would rather have been napping. It couldn’t have been easy to let these rumors spread, but she made the right call to put her family first.
And it’s a lesson to all of us at a time when our lives feel on display.
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It couldn’t have been easy, but Kate held steady despite enormous pressure to come out of seclusion. She and Prince William stuck to their decision to tell their children and get them acclimated to the new reality before the world was let in.
My husband and I similarly held our peace until we knew what we were dealing with. I can imagine Kate and William as a tight supportive circle of two, as we were.
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When Kate did go public, it was on her terms. No one was clamoring for an explanation from me the way they were Kate; our kids still don’t know about the diagnosis, and I told my employer only as we were writing this piece. Kate set out her terms in the two-minute video she released: the diagnosis, an explanation for why she had been out of the public eye, and a request for privacy.
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On top of these wise considerations – maybe most important of all – Kate spoke from the heart. She wore minimal makeup, wore an ordinary-looking sweater instead of royal regalia, and spoke about something every parent can relate to: protecting her children.
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Cancer reminds us that behind polished social media brands and fancy titles are real people facing private challenges. (Getty Images)
My cancer journey started and ended with a few tests and the relief that came with the doctors saying that I’m cancer-free. Yet it is still frequently on my mind almost two years later. I can only imagine what Kate – who is in the midst of a chemotherapy journey – is going through, not as a royal, but with a mother’s heart.
Like many people, I post fun and happy pictures of my kids and family on social media. It would be easy for people not to realize the private struggle my husband and I had after my diagnosis – or, in Kate’s case, that she has problems when she steps out of her royal slippers and elegant clothing.
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But there is nothing like cancer to strip away that artifice and remind us that behind perfectly polished social media brands and fancy titles are real people facing private challenges.
And that’s the point. Family comes first, even when cameras or the unblinking eye of social media seem to always be on us.