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So we're hearing more about the lockdowns' bad effects on children's mental states. 

But that's only half the equation. Sure, they missed out on team sports, playgrounds and field trips. My rooftop petting zoo was a disaster. All the goats jumped. 

But what did the kids replace this with? Well, I'll give you a hint. It wasn't Twister. It's something made in China, not cheap lawn furniture or COVID itself. 

I'm talking TikTok, which is aptly named for a time bomb. And what do you get from TikTok? You get teachers like this.

TikTok logo seen displayed on a smartphone. (Photo Illustration by Mateusz Slodkowski/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

TikTok logo seen displayed on a smartphone. (Photo Illustration by Mateusz Slodkowski/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images) (Mateusz Slodkowski/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

TIKTOKER 1: OK, if your parents don't love and accept you for who you are this Christmas, f--- them. I'm your parents now and I'm proud of you. Drink some water. I love you. 

With parents like that, who needs Woody Allen? That person has since resigned. … Resigned to the fact that he's b------ crazy. Anyway, he's probably already got a job at Disney. He'll be VP in charge of grooming — I mean, recruitment. 

Maybe they dress like mice, so witnesses don't have a description. But that's not the only nutcase on TikTok. The app is a non-stop faucet of unstable creeps like an NYC subway, but with a direct line into your kid's room. Next stop: Brainwash Boulevard. Take a look! 

TIKTOKER 2: Man, you all thought me teaching children about me being poly was crazy, but not only that, but they also know that I'm gender-fluid. 

TIKTOKER 3: When babies are born, the doctor looks at them and they make a guess about whether the baby is a boy or a girl based on what they look like, and most of the time, that guess is 100% correct. There are no issues whatsoever. But sometimes, the doctor is wrong. 

TIKTOKER 4: I teach my elementary school students about gender identity. Some people are girls. Some are boys. Some are both. Some are neither. 

Why do they all have crazy eyes? That should tell you something. So, much like adult progressives, kids don't have fully formed brains, and this is what they see every day. 

God knows if I got that sort of input when I was young, who knows how I would have ended up today? 

Empty Classroom In Elementary School.

Empty Classroom In Elementary School.  (Education Images/Universal Images Group via Getty Images)

But the destructive influence social media has on kids has gotten so bad that even people on the other side of things see that it's bad. But maybe kids eating Tide Pods, it should have been a tip-off. 

The L.A. Times published a story about transgender clinical psychologist Erica Anderson, who's helped hundreds of teens aiming to transition from one gender to another. 

In the piece, she wonders whether this surge in teens announcing they're trans is egged on by social media and that so-called experts are failing to evaluate these kids properly. 

And no, doctors can't use the, "I'm not a biologist" excuse. Instead, they recommend hormones or surgeries. Now, that might be fine for Caitlyn Jenner, but not for kids. It's not that we're anti-trans. We're just pro-age appropriateness. 

And it's a concern. Why the interest in the genders of strangers kids, all of a sudden?

Now Anderson is at the forefront of transgender care, and even she says this doesn't make sense. She's seen more than a doubling in new patients from 2019 to 2021. She notes the pattern: Kids are in quarantine with lots of free time to spend on social media. 

"Online, a stream of transgender influencers and activists told teens that if they felt uncomfortable with their bodies, or didn't fit in" — story of my life — "maybe they were trans. Some coached kids on how to bind their breasts, how to change their name and pronouns at school, how to push their parents for testosterone." 

Classroom

Classroom with empty wooden desks. (iStock) (iStock)

So that's from a trans expert who is trans. 

She concludes, "Any social influence in formation of gender identity flies in the face of reality." 

So step back and look at what's happening. You have Disney and its supportive media mocking and shaming parents for wanting what's best for their young kids. 

You have teachers pushing curriculum that encourages kids to ask for hormone blockers to suppress their puberty. Maybe they want to delay adulthood to keep indoctrinating them. 

You have anyone who dare mention biological sex in public, be deemed transphobic. Somehow, mother became offensive without being followed by the F-word. 

You have criminals changing gender to get into women's prisons, which is ridiculous. Just put on a wig and hide in one of the laundry carts like I do. 

So where is all this coming from? It's very sudden. You know, I get the adults. People like U.S. Assistant Secretary for Health Rachel Levine transitioned from male to female in her 50s. Clearly, she thought a lot about it. So did Caitlyn Jenner. 

We're not talking about that — we're talking about kids and what feels like a social phenomenon and not a biological one, a gender version of Tide Pods. You know, I'm doing it. Why aren't you? 

The longer we deny this, the more kids will fall under the spell of influencers, then the names of doctors who forgot the Hippocratic Oath. 

Kids are confused. They're vulnerable. They're scared, desperate to belong. Desperate to feel special. They still have to be told not to put their fingers in outlets. They're literally made for grooming. And who's doing it? Maybe check your kid's computer search history. 

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The call is coming from inside the house. While mom and dad are at work, vulnerable and naturally confused kids go on TikTok, where attentive persuasion awaits. 

It's most effective on vulnerable kids desperate to fit in somewhere. I bet Disney's mad they didn't think of it first. 

Look, you don't have to listen to me about this. I got no kids. Last time I checked, I'm a straight white male — I used a full-length mirror. But listen. Listen to the trans clinical psychologist who ironically has the stones few others have. 

And when she sounded the alarm, it's like Keith Richards telling you, you have a drug problem. Ignore it at your own peril. 

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening commentary on the April 13, 2022, edition of "Gutfeld!"