GREG GUTFELD: Why are more males turning soft?

Happy Tuesday, everyone. So are there any big stories out today that could change the future of this country? No? Good, good, good. In that case, I'd like to talk about something that concerns me. Young people. By now you've seen the stats. Ninety-eight percent of young people think I'm hot. Yeah, I know, I know. The other 2% were either born without the gift of sight or wouldn't know hot if they sat bare-a** on a George Foreman grill. But also, there's this. When it comes to the under-30 crowd, 63% are single. But just a few years ago, in 2019, it was only 51%. That's a legitimate jump, 9%, if you will, in just a short time. The reasons, of course, have much to do with pornography, video games and other apps that made human resources seize my iPad. And certainly, the MeToo movement played a role. It's easier to avoid intimate connections altogether than risk being accused of God knows what. So what you're left with is a dating pool so shallow even Dana Perino couldn't drown in it... Because she's short. 

But it seems it's just the young people having problems. Everyone else is fine. But, you know, it's not just because we're already married. It's because we're already older. We made it through the dating game before wokeism hit, and wokeism is like a personality STD. You know what that stands for. It's killed more sex drives than a woman of the View swimsuit calendar. It kills dating by emasculating men who fear of upsetting women who pretend to want wokeness when they really don't. 

What we truly know is that women don't want a pushover and wokeness is being a pushover on steroids and not the fun kind. It's the kind they gave grandma to treat her rheumatism. Wokeism fails men because it makes them look backward, not forward to disown your past instead of anticipate and get psyched for the future. And there's nothing sexy about a man weeping over his White privilege. It's why men hate therapy. Look ahead, not back. After all, there's a reason boys pick science fiction over Jane Austen. 

And there's a reason Elon Musk is more interesting than Seth Meyers. For one, who is Seth Meyers? I ask my writers this. Elon is a perfect example of looking ahead and don't look back. The men who do the reverse become speed bumps in your road to success. So do woke men exist beyond the media? I said it before. The only woke men were successful before they were woke. Hell, even Admiral Levine was Pennsylvania's health secretary before he turned in his pants for a girdle. Now he's a she, just so you know. We've seen the toll it takes on the rest. 

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PICTURE OF JIMMY KIMMEL

He used to host something called the Man Show. It was crude and funny. But today, if his estrogen levels were any higher, he'd be lactating.

Think about the few successful dudes who spew woke BS now. A decade ago were they saying that crap back then? No. They were trying to be successful. And you can't do that with a woke mindset. This is true in romance as well, and this has girls wondering where the hell are the men? They've become soft, sad and ashamed that they have testicles. Unless, of course, they're under a dress. Women see a dude in a futurist female T-shirt and it makes them drier than Nancy Pelosi hiking through the Mojave Desert. Terrible! this leaves men confused. I thought you wanted this new, improved male. Well, while it was new, it wasn't improved. It was a degradation of manliness. Chemical-free castration, if you will. So women are stuck with what their gender warriors ask for. A generation of guys who couldn't change a tire or enjoy a beer that doesn't have hints of pumpkin spice in it. 

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Women might go to a protest with a woke agitator but end up attracted to the cop. That's because the cop never made them wonder, 'Is this your bra or mine?' So they're skipping the generation of men altogether for something else. And who's that? Old farts. Yeah, a guy who needs Viagra more than he needs Adderall. And the stats back it up. One recent study found that women in their twenties match with people the farthest out from their age range. And not just men named DiCaprio. Fifty-six percent of women prefer dating older men. And why do you think that is? Of course, it could be the maturity. Or it could just be the wealth. 

But if you're a 25-year-old woman, would you prefer a 25-year-old male who spends his time trying to cancel other people online or an older guy who looks out for himself? Let me put it another way. Would you prefer a guy who spanks it all day or a guy who spanks you all night? Terrible! Yeah, you're disgusting. Somewhere there's that 25-year-old woman watching this and saying, 'Greg, you've just described my whole approach to dating.'

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Hopefully, her name isn't Frank and she doesn't have a penis. But in short, an ideal man's priorities aren't about getting his pronouns right, it's getting his purpose right. You can't do both. Men can't be woke and be men. So this is good news for young, smart, single men who have plans, love to work, lift weights and eat steak. You're in short supply. Making you in high demand. And if you disagree with me, find a gender-neutral bathroom and cry, cry alone.