Greg Gutfeld: The elites expect everyone to fall in line

So that was a big night last night, right? Yeah. We're doing an hour on abortion.

I'm speaking of the Met Gala. 

At 37 grand per ticket and security to keep us dirty folk at a distance, masked photographers were still allowed in to make sure the elites didn't get all dressed up for nothing. 

And what a glorious spectacle of the world's richest and most beautiful people gallivanting like Clydesdale horses in drag, starving themselves on cigarettes and Diet Coke. The breakfast of supermodels. Fun fact. That's how Mr. Ed's wife died. 

So, let's run through the conformity. There's Katy Perry. She seems to have lost her kooky style and her mask. When they asked her who she was wearing, she said, "hefty bag." 

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There's Kendall Jenner. Take a look at this. She ditched her bra, her mask, but also her eyebrows. Talk about plucky. You go, girl. Although I wonder where her eyebrows ended up. Talk about moving up in the world. She looks permanently surprised, like she accidentally sat on a poor person. 

And then look at Cara Delevingne – no shirt, her torso soaked in gold paint. She better be careful or she might end up in William Devane’s safe. She looks like a bowling trophy with breasts. Of course, she had no mask either. How else would anyone recognize her? 

Then there's Hillary in a long flowing gown. I got to say, that's quite a train and not the kind Bill likes. I'm referring to Amtrak. Thank you. Yes. Underrated. And without a mask, you can look at her smile, although it's probably gas. 

Of course, the poor plebe handling the bottom part of the skirt is masked. So maybe she did have gas. But can you imagine if Melania had a black dude handling her a gown? The screams of racism would be louder than the dresses. But I often wonder what Bill doesn't see in her, besides a soul. 

So there you go. The perfect illustration of how elites expect the rest to behave. It probably wasn't the unwashed masses that coined the term "unwashed masses." They enforce the rules for others, but not for them. With or without the masks, we can see who they really are deep down at events like this. Strutting around like butter wouldn't melt in their lying mouths. 

Who knew a couple hundred years ago, our ruling class would end up emulating the very a-holes we threw off our backs so we could be free in the first place. The masked and unmasked – master and servant. 

It's not about race or gender. It's about power.

The theme of the gala was "gilded glamor," but it should have been the Victorian era. 

Contrasting excess with servitude and masks are definitely the new whitehead caps worn by old maids. And it appears to have gone to a lot of their heads. 

STAFFER 1: Oh, my goodness. Our cup runneth over. Look at this feast, huh? You know, it's so nice for Kat to take us out to lunch. But I got to say, ever since she got back from the White House Correspondents Dinner, she's been acting different. 

STAFFER 2: What am I looking at here? 

STAFFER 1: Well, we only had the one Cheez-it. 

Speaker 2: No, not that. But where are your masks? You're not famous like I am, so you need to cover those unrecognizable faces. I’m not even hungry. Got to go to the vomitorium to work up an appetite. Please take me there. 

If only she were acting. But if we learned anything from the pandemic, those in power could make you locked down while being free as a mugger in Manhattan. Speaking of, facing the explosion in violent, murderous crime, this is what New York's Mayor Eric Adams, wears. It's like Liberace joined the Crips. 

Yes, that's a fashion statement, a tuxedo jacket that screams "end gun violence." I mean, he knows he's the mayor, right? That's his job. 

Rumor has it he bought it at a Bill de Blasio yard sale. Well, this will stop crime for sure. I'm sure gangs, thugs and criminals were all tuning into the Met gala because they have a deep interest in embroidery. 

Look, it's easier to wear a shirt with a slogan on it than actually write and pass legislation that will help the average joe. You'd think they'd want masks to hide the smug look on their faces. 

But if this works, imagine how we could solve other problems. Rather than wielding hoses firemen could just wear jackets that say don't play with matches. The worst part – the mayor is maskless while still forcing mask mandates on kids. It's true masks are no longer required at sporting events or at galas where the rich hang, but brats still must wear them at school. 

He dropped his vaccine mandate for athletes. So now you have a choice. Get the jab. Or play for the Knicks. 

The mayor also got a fresh pedicure because nothing says you're for the working class more than someone getting paid seven bucks an hour, kneeling at your feet to remove your toe jam. 

Look, I get it. Rich, powerful people need to have fun, even when the people who voted for them aren't. That's why every now and then, Dick Cheney shoots someone in the face. 

Sky-high inflation, food shortages, rampant crime. We all need a break from that, including the very people causing it. Even Nero took time off to fiddle.