Greg Gutfeld: If you want student loan forgiveness go to the schools, not us

So did you hear? "The Squad" demanded something. Let's hope it’s four one-way tickets to Cuba. Really – why do they keep demanding so much from America when they could get everything they want from a commie paradise 90 miles south?

What whiners – terrorists don't make this many demands when they kidnap someone. They work for us, not the reverse. But now they're lashing out at Biden after he said the White House has no plans to extend the pause on federal student loan repayments.

BIDEN ADMINISTRATION DECLINES TO EXTEND STUDENT LOAN PAUSE, SNUBBING PROGRESSIVES

Gee, I wonder if AOC has over 17 thousand dollars in student loan debt. 

AOC: I have over 17,000 dollars in student loan debt. // we have a moral obligation, an economic obligation, a political obligation to cancel student loan debt.

Did you get that? We are morally obligated to pay off this idiot's debt. Sorry lady, if the members of "The Squad" were morally obligated, then one of them couldn't marry her brother.

So she's talking about her college education debt where she majored in dumb with a minor in ignorance. And it's a debt that she agreed to pay, but now she wants you to cover the tab. 

But I’ll play: If I pay your debt, then you pay my mortgage, how's that for a trade, numbnuts? Why do you get a special carve-out, and not me? You actually have more power than I do. You got the privilege, and now you want the perks. How about returning that dress you wore to the gala? There's $20k right there. So, we do not owe you a single penny. 

BUTTIGIEG'S HUSBAND MOCKS BIDEN ADMINISTRATION RESTARTING STUDENT LOAN PAYMENTS NEXT MONTH: ‘NO THANK YOU’

I only wish there was someone around who's even dumber than her.

Rashida Tlaib: I worked full-time Monday through Friday and took weekend classes to get my law degree. And still close to 200,000 in debt.

Whose fault is that, you brimming cup of piping hot stupid? If she could work hard to get her degree, why can’t she work hard to pay for her degree? Write a book! Hell, even Jesse Watters can do that. And now you expect us to wipe that financial slate clean?! She makes 174-grand a year off taxpayers, and for her, it isn’t enough.

But it does raise a point: why do the dumbest people have the most degrees? As a matter of fact, the really smart ones don't have any. Einstein quit high school, Bill Gates dropped out, so did James Woods and David Geffen. Both Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs left school without diplomas too. What does that tell ya?

At least these people have made huge contributions to our world, unlike you dolts. Those pieces of paper we call diplomas are the only reason to mistake "The Squad" for being smart. 

CAWTHORN SLAMS CHASTEN BUTTIGIEG FOR COMPLAINING ABOUT STUDENT LOANS

And sure, maybe they got ripped off, but not by you or me. They didn't go to the University of Gutfeld, which is free and voted number one party school 3 years in a row. They got ripped off by the colleges, who saw how easy it was to get student loans from banks, tagging these brain-dead bozos with absurd interest rates.

Who would think a system where 18-year-olds with no income getting hundred thousand dollar loans could cause problems? The universities and the government did. They should give themselves an ‘a’ for ‘absolutely incompetent.’ 

And didn't AOC get a degree in economics? I could clip my toenails for six months, put' 'em in a bag and they would understand inflation better than her. By the way, I sell them on eBay to pay off my college debt. 

Now they try to pretend forgiving student debt helps the poor, except the people with student debt are just like them – pampered upper-middle-class leftists who can afford more stuff than you.

We’ve seen AOC's DC apartment on Instagram. Didn't look like Section 8 housing to me, Miss Cortez. They pretend to be the working class, but they expect the working class to bail them out.

Yet while they were racking up debt with useless degrees, the working class were denied that opportunity largely due to cost. You bail these idiots out; you're literally taking money from people who are worse off than them. I wonder how this would play out in the real world.

Skit of Country club woman trying to get a worker to pay for her items at a checkout counter because she is late for an event

How can these "Squad" members do this with a straight face? Maybe that’s why Biden and Pelosi had so much plastic surgery. 

So here's an idea: you want debt forgiveness that actually doesn't help the rich? I got a plan – call it "Gutfeld on Wheels." There are more people who rely on cars for a living than a master’s degree in gender dysmorphia. And suddenly their gas costs rose 50 percent. Their loans are roughly the same as the student loans. Why not forgive those loans for hard-working yanks, instead of your spoiled scholastic bull****.

I won't pick up the tab for some whiny entitled creep, but I’ll pay off the truck loan of some contractor supporting a family or an IHOP waitress with two kids who moonlights as a stripper and needs implants. I'm nothing, if not a philanthropist.

Forgiving an auto loan is way more egalitarian than forgiving debt for people who go to Met Galas in a Tesla. 

But if you want loan forgiveness, don't come to us. Go to the schools. Why punish the taxpayers - they didn't take your money. The overpaid administrators did. Their cost controls are more nonexistent than Pete Buttigieg's breast pump.

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Of course Joe Biden, instead of leading, continues squirming – a spineless void ready for the picking. He said it's up to Congress to help execute his plan to cancel ten grand worth of student loans -- but only if the Congress sends him a bill.  It's pretty convenient for this lame Trojan horse.

Speaking of horses, we’d be better off with Mr. Ed running things. At least he could talk. But it could be that Joe is playing dumb. But come to think of it, there would be no playing involved.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the December 15, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"