Greg Gutfeld: NPR's disinformation reporting team will create a 'wall of interference'

So big news over at National Public Radio, which may be the first time anyone's ever said that. 

They announced they're launching a disinformation reporting team featuring journalists whose expertise apparently is fake news. Well, that must have been hard to find. Every journalist these days is an expert on fake news. It's like saying a French bulldog is an expert on farting. It's all they do – something about their flat faces. I don't know. 

But it's good to see NPR finally realizing the necessity of policing fake news. Sort of like a drug addict checking himself into rehab. You know, admitting you have a problem, NPR, is the first step. So good for you. 

Will their first investigation be of themselves? This tweet from NPR itself right before the 2020 election, here, NPR asks why you haven't seen stories from them about the New York Post story on Hunter Biden, which the paper broke a month or so before the 2020 election. 

As you know, the story was flushed down a toilet like an ounce of crack when cops kick in Hunter's front door. Debating whether to reread that. Yeah. 

So they bury the story only to resurface it later when Hunter's dad was safely transported to the Oval Office like a mannequin to his storefront window. And unlike, Joe, trying to complete a handshake, the whole thing worked perfectly. 

This is NPR's explanation for not covering the story. Quote, "We don't want to waste our time on stories that aren't really stories. And we don't want to waste listeners and readers times on stories that are just pure distractions." 

Well, if that were the case, then what would be left? A segment on the challenges of trans folk singers in the Himalayas, which is just more evidence of the white patriarchy at work. 

It's funny. In an urgent moment when news is vital, no one's ever yelled "quick put on NPR" unless it's to put a patient to sleep for emergency surgery. 

But how thoughtful of them. Yeah. Apparently, NPR was doing people a favor by filtering out stories that might disturb them, but they really weren't filtering at all. They were blocking, cherry picking, censoring, then acting as if it was a favor to you. Pulling that tote bag over your head and saying it's for your own good sister. 

Here you got the biggest, most consequential story of the election season. And they buried it like a mouthy hitchhiker in the desert. Wouldn't shut up. 

They called something fake news when it's real and assumed no one would call them on it, which for the most part, they were right. But they knew they had to do their part to protect old Joe as his campaign wobbled into the White House like a rascal scooter with two bad wheels. 

That's not a mistake or disinformation or Joe reading the name, brand and warranty info off his teleprompter. It's called lying and NPR did it to influence an election. I wonder what happened, though, behind closed doors. 

SKIT

STAFFER 1: Okay, boss, I've got some story pitches for you. Let me know what you think. Hunter Biden weighing crack with a hooker.

STAFFER 2: Meh

STAFFER 1: Yeah, well, how about Hunter Biden with two hookers and a dog? 

STAFFER 2: Doesn't feel like a story to me. 

STAFFER 1: All right, I see where you're going with this. How about Hunter Biden in a tank smoking crack while touching himself? 

STAFFER 2: Jerry, let's just pick stories how we always do with the cheese singles and nonbinary indigenous patio furniture. 

STAFFER 1: There's a story. I'll go write it up.

STAFFER 2: Thank you. 

So now they started a disinformation bureau, but of course, the only disinfo they're going to focus on is the stuff that flows only in one direction. And that would be from right to left, because if they didn't, wouldn't they first address the Hidden Hunter story right out of the gate? 

CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP

Well, unless you enjoy turning blue and rendering yourself unconscious, don't hold your minty fresh breath. We actually contacted NPR to find out if they would, and we got nothing but an automated email in response, I guess NPR stands for No Professional Response. 

NPR's attempt at fact checking is no different than all the other jokers who claim to fact check as they let more whoppers slide through like Brian Stelter's digestive tract. 

Meanwhile, they'll chase down memes by private citizens or dox them for making jokes or worse, telling the truth. Yep. After an exhaustive investigation, we found that there really was no cat holding on to a tree branch saying, hang in there. We also found no evidence that there is a frog named Pepe. 

Meanwhile, I've been doing my own experiment with fact checkers in the last week alone. I deliberately mentioned that Dr. Jill is a medical doctor and not a single correction from the fact checkers. I'm serious – means I'm going to go ahead with having her remove my gallbladder. It was nice knowing you folks, but I keep waiting for the Washington Post or PolitiFact or anyone to call me on it, but they don't. And why? Because even though I made it up, it's a lie that fits their narrative. So who cares? 

But maybe it's not their fault. Maybe they're confused because Dr. Jill is always seen with that shuffling elderly man. She's a month away from going to Joe's press events wearing scrubs and carrying a bedpan. That's date night. Thank you. 

But that's the way it goes. The real fake news is actually NPR's approach to fake news. It's a false front to appear like they're tackling something when in fact, they're just creating another wall of interference against real news hitting their viewers. It's another user interface to protect their listeners from the truth. Much in the way Fox Security protects me from overzealous fans. No, it's the teenage girls who are really aggressive. But I keep it classy. But just like the flimsy tote bags that NPR gives away, nobody's buying it. No matter how earnest and gentle your voices are when reporting it, we hear the BS loud and clear. Your response to fake news is just more fake news. Fact check that.