We are going back to school.

The uncertainty over how may be weighing heavy, but we have little control over that aspect. What we can do is shift our focus and embrace the things we can orchestrate this fall.

A recent chat with the oldest of my three kids, my rising sixth-grader, revealed these children are not in knots over online learning versus being in the classroom like their parents are, but instead are craving the familiar routine of back to school. So, let’s get these kiddos back to school in a way that works in our current condition.

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First, do your best to let the wave of “will we, won’t we” sail on by. There is a very real possibility the rules will change multiple times this fall. We could go back into the classroom then come right back out. Just when you think you can start planning, the plan changes. So, don’t base your structure on school’s physical presence but instead accept that constant change is the new norm. With that in mind, let’s figure out how to create surroundings and a routine that doesn’t change as everything else does.

Get social. I miss my friends. How easily any one of us could be saying this given the physical separation of 2020, but this was the first thing my daughter said when I asked what she was looking forward to most about going back to school. In her mind, school is just as much about socialization as it is about education.

She is eager to get back to school to see people! You remember what that’s like. First day back, to see how your friends have changed, new outfits and fresh backpacks, and those important new exciting relationships. We need to give our kids the back to school moments even if there is no physical school to go back to.

This means, as your safety and sanity allow, creating weekly outside play dates with a number of children that you feel comfortable with. Signing your child up for sports or activities that are open and making sure they are interacting with their peer’s face to socially distanced face. Having a back to school drop in at your house or the park.

The biggest miss of this year may be the lack of socialization for all of us, but especially for developing children. So, take back some control and plan your play dates.

Go back to school shopping! Maybe that means it’s online only for you but set a time and make a date with your kids to get the clothes and school supplies they need regardless of where school will take place. Make sure some comfortable face coverings are on the list and allow them to show their personality through their masks.

There’s a reason it’s called retail therapy, and your kids need it too!

Redesign your school space. My kids are on a hybrid home school model already, so this is something we do every year. Two weeks before back to school, we change up their homework space. This year we have turned a portion of the playroom into a school space. The kids are getting new desks and lamps, whiteboards and book bins.

This is a dedicated space where they can study and learn, and if school ends up being fully online, they will have a physical space to return to and stimulate learning. If the school year tends to be in person, they will still have that space they can go for homework and quiet time.

Start scheduling now. Do a countdown to the first day of school. While you may not exactly know what it will look like, you do know there is a date. Start a countdown calendar and get them excited. And once you get the initial schedule for school, be it online or in person, immediately create a calendar and schedule, so your kids know what to expect.

Child Psychologist, Dr. Jerry Lindquist writes, “The predictability and routine of school is good for our children’s mental health...With a routine, children feel calmer; and when you’re calm, you can focus and learn.”

Pick a service project. One thing our society has learned from this pandemic is that we need to help each other through it! Make this the year that you drive that home with your kids. Regardless of whether they are in class or not, have your kids research a way they can be of service this fall.

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Some ideas: write letters or draw pictures to send to family members or friends that are homebound, clean out your pantry and donate canned goods to a shelter, make and deliver meals or goodies to anyone close by who may be immune-compromised or sick (leave them at the door, no need to make contact;) figure out a charity you can support and have the kids do chores to make some money to send every week, adopt-a-block in your community.

There are so many more creative ideas, but the key is to do something for someone else. By serving others, your children (and you) will feel less concerned with the uncertainty of our own reality. By serving others, we take the focus off ourselves and get out of the hamster wheel of worry.

Get physically ready for the school year. This means starting to go to bed and waking up earlier. Grab the kids some blue light blocking glasses, so if they are in front of screens after dark, they can still sleep well. Go shopping for healthy snacks and school lunch supplies even, if lunch will be at home. And perhaps most important, get moving.

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The good endorphins your kids and you will get from physically moving your bodies will help make all this chaos less impactful on your brains. Get up earlier in the weeks before school starts and go for a walk or pull weeds in the garden. Run around outside with the dog or ride bikes. Increase your family’s exercise to help ease the mental stress of an uncertain future.

Then when you are back in school, if it is at home, make sure there is an hour of movement time on the daily schedule. Get the kids outside to run around or do yard work, or if that’s not possible, have them get on your stationary bike or whatever you have inside. There are thousands of free and subscription-based fitness videos online that are fun for the whole family. Try yoga or line dancing or anything that gets the heart pumping and the body stretched.

Exercise will increase those good endorphins and make everyone feel a little better about what is going on. It’s also a huge immune booster and keeps the lungs strong.

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Lower your expectations. This is the most important. Give yourself a break. This is not going to be perfect, and you will have some bad days where all of this is thrown out the window, and you all sit around eating popcorn and watching the Disney channel. That’s okay too. That’s a memory right there.

Your kids are watching you. They are taking cues from you in this new normal and this new season. Reassure them, be as honest as their age allows and, as much as you can, enjoy these moments together. We will likely never have a back to school opportunity like this again.

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