Aly Taylor: I wasn't made to be a mom
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Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of being a wife and a mom. I think because I have my Ph.D., people assume I wanted to be a therapist my entire life or that I wanted to own my own practice, or do something big in my career field. But that was never my goal. It has always been that of being a wife and a mom.
When my husband Josh and I were married about five years, we decided to grow our little family. I thought a little baby was growing inside of me. Instead, I learned something else was growing rapidly inside of me. I learned I had breast cancer.
Yes, that is right. CANCER. Stage 3 breast cancer at 24 years old.
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From thinking I was pregnant to learning I had breast cancer…can you say whirlwind? Miraculously, I am alive and well today to write this little piece of my heart.
But do you know what I learned through my cancer journey? That as badly as I longed to be a mother, I wasn’t made to be a mom.
That might be confusing to people who know me since I have three beautiful daughters today. You’re probably thinking, “OK, so you weren’t made to be a mom, but you have three kids?”
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Yep, that’s right. Keep reading and I’ll explain.
I learned that being a mother is not who I was made to be. That is not who I am. Because you see, being a mother describes me, but that is not me.
And being a mother isn’t about me anyway. This thing called motherhood is not for me to feel fulfilled. Yes, it often does that. But being a mother is not to fulfill me. Yes, it fulfills me in many ways, but that was never its sole purpose.
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Oftentimes, when mothers are asked, “Who are you?”, we respond with “a mom” or “a wife” or “a teacher” – whatever “role” we have.
Instead, I want to encourage you to make a list of WHO you are. The only rules I have as you make this little list is that it stems out of WHOSE you are, and not just the “titles” you hold.
Here is a little list of myself I wrote off-the-cuff:
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I AM: determined, strong, a child of God, beautiful in God’s eyes, the righteousness of God in Christ, blameless, goal-oriented, an overcomer, a survivor, self-motivated, loving, a wife, faithful friend, a daughter, a niece, hardworking, peacemaker, fun-loving, encouraging, joyful….
As uncomfortable as it makes me to list the good qualities I see in myself (even if I have to write a few of them in faith), it reminds me of who I am and what defines me. Oh, if we could see ourselves the way the Father sees us!
I am so much more than a wife and mom, even though those were and continue to be my greatest dreams.
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I am a child of the Most High God. How incredible is that?
Before my calling of being a wife, before my calling of being a mom, before my calling of being a therapist, speaker, writer, etc., I am called to be His. A child of God!
I wasn’t made to be a mom; I was made to be a child.
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I am God’s child.
I want to serve, honor, and glorify Jesus all the days of my life. That is where I find my purpose. That is where I find my joy. Serving my kids and loving them is one of those ways I glorify Jesus. And goodness, do I find joy in that!
If you are a mom reading this, I celebrate you! Yes, soon, we are celebrating Mother’s Day, but I pray you realize you are so much more than that.
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This Mother’s Day, I hope you get a massage, or flowers, or some downtime, or whatever it is you love, but most of all, I pray you remember your first and highest calling.
Share with your kids what you were made to be.
His child.
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Rest in that. Choose joy in that.
Nope, I wasn’t made to be a mom. But, thank you Lord for making me one. And I pray we direct our babies’ hearts to His as we find our greatest purpose in Him.