With the Summer Olympics postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic, Tucker Carlson and author and columnist Mark Steyn spent part of Wednesday's "Tucker Carlson Tonight" speculating about the makeup of a summer sporting competition in Seattle's "Capitol Hill Organized Protest" area (CHOP).

Carlson suggested that medals could be awarded for the "most vular graffiti spray-painted on a storefront, extra points for size" and warned that "unlike the actual Olympics, there will be no drug testing of any kind."

"You referenced the dope testing," Steyn told Carlson. "That's not actually going too well at the moment. After a couple of weeks of living out of the streets of CHOP, many of the top ... performers are in a bit of a bind because traces of urine have been found in the drug samples."

Steyn then joked that Sen. Mitt Romney, R-Utah, who he called the "first U.S. Ambassador" to CHOP, would bring some Winter Olympic sports to the hypothetical competition.

"For example, we've got the two-man luge," Steyn said. "There's a bit of difference. The guy on the bottom is one of the CHOP residents, but the guy on top is actually a statue of Christopher Columbus that they've toppled. And so far in the preliminary rounds, I believe it's the Richmond Christopher Columbus statue that is in the lead.

"The Boston Christopher Columbus statue is close behind, but there's some technical dispute with the judges because that guy had his head decapitated and it's not clear whether a headless Christopher Columbus is eligible for the two-man luge."

Steyn concluded by cracking that Romney, who came to national prominence as head of the organizing committee for the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, would "bring the Olympic torch from the nearest flaming Wendy's ... until it finally arrives in the CHOP Olympic Stadium."