'Stop Blaming Men' author refutes idea of 'toxic masculinity,' talks negative impact of media on manhood

Amid negative media stories, shifting views on gender and the advent of new cultural terms like "toxic masculinity," certified life coach Michael Taylor is urging others to avoid placing the blame for society's ills on men.

Taylor, the author of "Stop Blaming Men for All the Problems," told Fox News Digital that he wants to dispel the idea that toxic masculinity exists.

"People confuse toxic masculinity with toxic behaviors," Taylor said. "So a man commits rape, domestic abuse, all those types of things. That's not toxic masculinity. That's a toxic behavior and I will assert that that behavior is the result of the man not being connected to his authentic masculinity."

In his view, authentic masculinity requires men to harness the tools and emotional awareness to avoid engaging in those types of toxic behaviors. According to Taylor, movies, music and other forms of mass media influence individual beliefs. It is, therefore, up to men to challenge them, he said.

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Coach Michael Taylor told Fox News Digital that men are not the problem in society and are trapped in an antiquated paradigm of masculinity.   (Fox News/Mohamed Rida ROKI/Getty Images)

"If you look at mainstream media news especially. There is so much negativity out there, and when we look at all the stories of infidelity and corporate greed and it appears that men are the bad guys," he said.

"Truth be told, we do perpetuate a lot of the stuff that we see in mainstream media. That's true. But at the same time, I don't think men are the problem. I think men being trapped in an antiquated paradigm of masculinity is the problem," Taylor continued.

Taylor has researched and written about the changing roles of manhood and masculinity for 25 years. His writing results from his personal experience as a man, going through a divorce, bankruptcy and foreclosure.

"At the age of 23. I had everything. At the age of 29, I lost everything," he recalled. "In losing everything, I asked myself a really simple question. So, what does it mean to be a man? Because I did everything I thought a man was supposed to do to be happy, and I was absolutely miserable."

Taylor said his new book is an opportunity for men to reevaluate the concept of manhood from a positive viewpoint without blaming or pointing fingers at others.

Through his research, Taylor identified what he calls "the five illusions of manhood" that drive most negative male behavior.

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"Stop Blaming Men for All the Problems" by Coach Michael Taylor was released on May 1, 2024.  (Michael Taylor)

Illusion number one: To be a man, you must be non-emotional and disconnected.

Taylor refutes this attitude. He said men often hide behind a mask of toughness and control and then wonder why they are so unhappy.

"Emotions are just energy and motion, right? And we try to label them as something that only women feel. But every human being feels the same emotions at the same level. Women have just been given permission to express them. Men have not. And so, in this conversation, when I'm challenging men to do, is to understand that it is absolutely okay to be in touch with how you feel," he said.

Taylor also shared another illusion with Fox News Digital: To be a man, you must use sexual conquest to prove themselves.

His perspective is that many men have been taught, almost since the beginning of time, that getting "notches on their belt" will provide them respect.

"I believe most men are actually unhappy because we're taught that sex is a gauge for manhood and say that's just not true," Taylor added.

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Michael Taylor said that there are five "illusions" of manhood that drive most negative male behavior in society. (iStock)

He noted that these illusions are essentially a series of subconscious beliefs that people have incorporated by focusing on the media, the attitudes of their family and the culture around them. To change these beliefs, Taylor said we must first bring a heightened awareness to them and formulate intrinsic change.

But change often proves difficult. Taylor said that, at the end of the day, there are really only two things that will cause a man to change: pain and divine discontent or a feeling that something is just off.

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Too often, Taylor said, he has seen most people wait until they are in so much pain that they have no other choice but to alter their approach.

"What I'm trying to do is help men not get to that point. So, if you're feeling or are struggling with some things, sometimes all it takes is a guy to say, 'Hey man, let's just talk about it.' And as difficult as it might be, that's the key to solving a lot of the issues that we deal with. Just being willing to talk about it," Taylor said.