A mother’s unapologetic defense of not returning her shopping cart, a common expectation of social etiquette, drew sharp critiques on social media.

"I’m not returning my shopping cart, and you can judge me all you want," Dr. Leslie Dobson, a married mom of two, declared in a viral TikTok video. "I’m not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car, and then leaving them in the car to go return the cart. So if you’re gonna give me a dirty look, f--- off."

The video garnered over 11 million views, 387,700 likes, and over 100,000 comments, although not all the reaction was positive. 

One user shared an anonymous quote that went viral online years ago, "The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing. To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task."

TikToker speaks about her shopping cart policy

A TikToker and mother offered her take on grocery cart etiquette.

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Another commentator argued that there is a means of returning the cart without leaving one’s children unattended

"Mom of a 6yo, 3yo and 9months. I simply unload groceries, return cart WITH kids, and then load them in. Same way that we got out of car," the user wrote. 

Dobson replied to this particular comment and said, "I want women to feel empowered to trust their intuition if they feel unsafe, and ignore judgment. Risk isn’t worth it and our lives are precious. I have seen lives destroyed. I hope you never do." She used this same reply to multiple comments on her video.

In a follow-up video on Friday, Dobson responded to millions of people who have "freaked out" about her refusal to return shopping carts.

Shopping cart in parking lot

The return of shopping carts has been touted by many social media users as an indicator of a polite society. (Photo by Ramin Talaie/Corbis via Getty Images)

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"Last year, 265 children were abducted in parking lots in America, half of those were sexually assaulted," Dobson said. "As a single mom returning your shopping cart, you are prime for a predator to watch and grab you."

Her number appears to come from a fact sheet from the organization Kids and Car Safety, which reports that 265 cars had been stolen with children alone inside in 2022, though not all in parking lots. The organization does not mention sexual assault but says most of the time thieves don't realize a child was in the car and subsequently abandon the car or the child on the side of the road. 

After warning her viewers, Dobson offered advice on how to stay safe by being aware of one's surroundings.

"If it doesn't feel safe, trust your gut, trust your intuition, and keep you and your family safe," she said. 

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