Mom who had her breasts removed shares 'devastating’ guilt at not being able to breastfeed her son: Report
'[I]t was really hard knowing that he wanted to breastfeed, and I couldn't give him that,' the mother told researchers
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}A mother who had both her breasts removed in a surgery when she was 20 and identified as transgender is telling the world that she regrets the procedure, especially after she birthed her first son, according to a new report from Frontiers in Global Women’s Health.
The anonymous mother, who was called "Elizabeth" for the purposes of the article, told researchers at Western Sydney University that she went back and forth on whether she wanted to have a child.
She was anxious that she wouldn't be a good mother, Elizabeth told researchers.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"[I]t was really hard knowing that he wanted to breastfeed, and I couldn't give him that," Elizabeth told researchers, who detailed her struggles in an article about "[b]reastfeeding grief."
While she eventually conceived and gave birth at age 30, she also felt guilty for not being able to breastfeed her infant son.
"[I]t was really hard knowing that he wanted to breastfeed, and I couldn't give him that," she told researchers, who detailed her struggles in an article about "[b]reastfeeding grief."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Elizabeth described cuddling with her son for the first time after he was born.
"[W]hen they put him on my stomach, he crawled up, he was looking for my breasts, and he couldn't find them. And he tried to suck on my chin. And he spent so much time in his early life trying to find my breasts."
"It was so obvious" that her son wanted to breastfeed, Elizabeth said, according to The Daily Mail.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Close-up shot of baby's feet in mother's hands (iStock)
But even before she was a mother, Elizabeth said she struggled with "gender dysphoria," a battle that led her to a double mastectomy surgery.
But those surgeries left her with deep scar tissue and nerve damage, she said. Even after she opened up to some of her trans friends about her chronic pain, she related feeling shunned and was told not to speak publicly about her experience.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}She explained that she "went from being a trans activist … to being persona non grata because I was complaining about these botched chest surgeries, and it was just really devastating."
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"I'm glad that I spent a lot of time with him on my chest even though I couldn't actually breastfeed," Elizabeth told researchers
But Elizabeth said that she was thankful for her son and glad to be a mother.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"I'm really glad that we did cuddle a lot when he was a baby," Elizabeth said.
"I'm glad that I spent a lot of time with him on my chest even though I couldn't actually breastfeed," she added.
Fox News has reached out to Western Sydney University for additional comment.
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