Let's talk about pedophilia. One of the all-time great, you know, pickup lines. So, you know, the whole Balenciaga story, they did a photo shoot with kids that involved stuffed animals in bondage gear. Now I know what you're thinking, "hey, who hasn't?" I mean, Teddy Ruxpin and nipple clamps seem like such a natural fit. Here's the summary.

FOX NEWS @ NIGHT: The luxury fashion house, Balenciaga is in full damage control mode tonight amid the big time backlash to its recent ad campaign that appears to show children holding teddy bears dressed in bondage outfits and another of the kids near Supreme Court documents on a child pornography case.

BALENCIAGA SPARKS OUTRAGE OVER ‘DEPRAVED’ AD CAMPAIGN WITH TODDLERS, TEDDY BEARS IN BONDAGE

That was the weird part, the whole child porn case thing. So Balenciaga went into crisis mode, throwing everyone else under the bus until they realized it was a bus full of kids. Hopelessly cornered, they then apologized. But that's not what this monologue is about, it's about what really troubles the left. It's never the crime or the criminal, it's about when such incidents force them to agree with conservatives, and they hate that. They hate it more than I hate flow from those Progressive commercials, and that's a lot. Well we dated back in the nineties, and it didn't work out. Why do I have to keep seeing her? 

Brittany Aldean throwing out her Balenciaga bags

Brittany Aldean posted a photo of herself throwing out her Balenciaga products. (Getty )

But they can't agree with the right because then they lose their cachet. So they won't, even if it puts them in a more uncomfortable position than Rosie O'Donnell in a hot yoga class. For example, on The View, which is the show for people whose sweatpants stick to the sofa, the only Republican host they have says the worst part of the ad wasn't the actual sexualization of kids, it's that it gave the right evidence of that sexualization of kids.

ALYSSA FARAH: There's growing anti-LGBTQ sentiment right now, and how it's being framed is as portraying trans people as groomers. This is a term you'll hear on the far right, they're groomers. This is where you get the anti-drag queens stuff that we're seeing. So Balenciaga played right into their hands by having kids in a sexualized manner, caring something that represents, you know, sex acts. I think it was a really bad misstep at a moment where it's just kind of a dangerous time to even give credence to those kind of insane takes.

It was a misstep. Now that's The View's only Republican, you know, which is like being the Manson family's only Republican. It's funny because I repeated the same line. So it's not about the fashion company making light of pedophilia, it's the insane takes about people making light of pedophilia. It's like saying, "you know, it's not arson that's bad, it's those loud fire alarms that lets you know it's happening." It's like The View would be happier if they placed the pedophilia somewhere less conspicuous than an international ad campaign, out of sight, out of mind. 

BALENCIAGA APOLOGIZES FOR CHILD ABUSE THEMES IN DUAL PHOTO SHOOTS

But you see this a lot. Unlike us, the left cannot condemn bad stuff, no matter how heinous it is, if it forces them to agree with a Republican. Their brains can't handle two different thoughts at the same time or in Joy Reid's case one. Hell, some of them still say they're for masking children. Do you know why they're saying that? Because you're not. Sure, it impedes my kids breathing and stunts his growth mentally, but agreeing with Gutfeld will cause me to lose friends. And I also don't want him to get any more popular than he already is. As if that's possible. It is. 

Ask yourself this, why won't the Dems or the media react in horror about the crime wave? Because you and I already have. Why won't they speak out against the brutalities happening at the border? I mean, other than the fact that they're partly complicit in it, because you and I already spoke out against that stuff. So instead, they freak out about migrants flying to that hellhole that is Martha's Vineyard, forget about human trafficking, a Mexican wore white after Labor Day. What about fentanyl? It's killing 100,000 people a year, that should upset somebody, but it upsets you, so it can't upset them. You know, that would be like watching a DeSantis campaign ad and then Pelosi coming on at the end and saying, "I approve this message." I don't approve of those eyebrows. 

California Gov. Gavin Newsom

California Gov. Gavin Newsom speaks during a press conference in San Francisco, California.  ((Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images))

So, you see the trend, if there's a choice to condemn evil, they won't. If they share that opinion with you or me. Right now, using California's Megan's Law website, the UK Daily Mail found that 7,000 convicted pedophiles in California have been released from prison after spending less than a year in jail, this after being convicted of lewd acts with a child under 14, and they're out. And that was just at a cookout Roman Polanski had on Saturday. Soon, those perves will be back to their old tricks producing Hollywood movies. Yeah, you don't have to laugh, but you should. These are serious offenses. No normal human being can be okay with this stuff. So, why are you only hearing about it here on Fox News and nowhere else on legacy media? Because it's guilt by association. If we report it, they won't. Me, I don't care if we're right. I just want to make bad things stop, and I don't just mean Kilmeade's haircuts. But if I thought I could get the Dems to come out against riots or looting or robbery, arson and murder, I would come out for it just to make it end. Well, that and looting does look a little fun, I mean, free Sun Chips and men's Speed Sticks, I'm all over that huh. 

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Fact is because the media and the Dems think we're evil, actual evil things take a backseat to their hatred for us. If tonight, Tucker were to condemn arson, everyone in Hollywood would burn their own homes down. It's because we're not part of their in-crowd. And I got to tell you, I've never been happier than to be on the outside looking in, in my whole life.