Maher panics about Dem prospects in 2024: 'America has lost its faith in Joe' and 'their bench is so thin!'

"Real Time" host Bill Maher closed his first show of 2022 by sounding the alarm for Democrats ahead of 2024. 

"Democrats must thank President Biden for his great service to America and then move him into a more ceremonial role," Maher began his monologue Friday night. "Joe Biden has been president now for a year and a day. The day was pretty good, but the year? Not horrible, certainly better than the alternative, but for some reason, America has lost its faith in Joe. Sometimes that just happens."

Maher cited recent polls showing only "26%" of Americans who say "things in the country are going well" and another showing Biden's approval at 33%. 

"Democrats must thank President Biden for his great service to America and then move him into a more ceremonial role." 

— Bill Maher

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"If he were a movie, he'd be certified rotten," Maher quipped. "And of course, he's not. And what's gone wrong is certainly not all Joe's fault. But the hard fact is even when Joe does something good, he seems to get no credit. Our economy is actually pretty awesome considering what we've just been through. Wages are up, workers have more leverage, we avoided a recession, stocks just had their best year since 1995 and yet only 38% approve of his handling of the economy. This is what happens when you lack passionate defenders – as opposed to Trump, who everyday s--- the bed and 95% of Republicans blame the bed."

‘Coalition of the unenthused’

The HBO star warned that despite Biden's cratering numbers, he "may have even further to fall" since there "is no diehard Biden base," saying he had a "coalition of the unenthused" during the 2020 election. 

"When he first got into office, I told you that Biden was like non-dairy creamer; nobody's first choice but he got the job done. And he did get the job done in 2020 when his nation needed him to beat Trump and he did!" Maher exclaimed. "But fair or not, to most people now, it looks like Joe Biden's ‘Get up and go’ got up and went." 

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"There's no big d--- energy coming out of the Democratic Party. And their bench is so thin, they're even talking about running Hillary again! And I'm sure she's thinking, 'Well, who else you got?' Kamala? Her approval rating is lower than Biden's! Bernie's too old, Pete's too young and this didn't work out," Maher continued, showing a photo of disgraced former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo. 

"Their bench is so thin, they're even talking about running Hillary again!"

— Bill Maher

Maher then told his audience there's "one guy all Democrats can rally behind and would love to see back in the White House," which was Barack Obama. 

WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE

"Of course, you're saying 'But Obama can't be president again. He's had two terms and that's the rule.' Yeah, the rule… You know politics, often called the ‘art of the possible,’ really is now become the ‘art of whatever you can get away with,’ something only Republicans seem to realize. Like when they just made up that presidents can't appoint a Supreme Court justice in an election year. Or when they changed their mind and said, "Oh wait, they can when our side is in power," Maher said. "To them, hypocrisy is not a bug. It's a feature… That's the essence of Trumpism. You wanna see my tax returns? Show me where that's written down. You want me to concede when I lose? That's just a tradition." 

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The liberal comedian revived his recurring analogy of the 1976 Disney film "Gus" where a donkey joins a football team for its ability to kick field goals and is allowed to play only because "there was nothing specifically in the rule book that said a team couldn't sign and play a mule," arguing that Trump "pulled a ‘Gus’ every day when he was in the White House."

"What Democrats need to do now is their version of a ‘Gus,’" Maher said before proposing that Biden and Obama "divorce their wives" and then Biden will "gay-marry" Obama so that he's back in the White House. "Yes, the law … says Obama can't be president again but there's nothing that says he can't be first lady."

"Yes, the law … says Obama can't be president again but there's nothing that says he can't be first lady."

— Bill Maher

"If Obama was back as Biden's husband the Democratic Party would get its mojo back and we'd have confidence that the person really running this show was the person we really want running the show. And Biden, of course, would still have value, like that extra pope they keep in Rome," Maher said. "Historians say that when Woodrow Wilson had a stroke, his wife Edith secretly ran the country for a year and a half. Can Democrats do it again? Say with me: Yes, we can! Except this time, do it proudly with that smug Mitch McConnell look on your face like, 'Yeah, we know that's wrong and never been done, but that's all secondary to f---ing you and loving it. Don't whine that, 'Oh, but Biden and Obama aren't really gay.' Yes, that's the whole point! Although, if the two of them ever did have a slow dance while Beyonce serenaded them with ‘At Last,' I'm sure MSNBC would explode into rainbows." 

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"What's the big deal, Mitch? In America, the first lady always gets a pet project she feels passionate about. Laura Bush had literacy and Michelle Obama has fitness and Melania had anti-bullying, really. Obama will be no different, it's just that his first lady project is running the federal government," Maher added.