Russia-Ukraine tensions: How families and kids can keep calm and carry on
During times of stress and tension, our children need loving, thoughtful attention — here are wise words from experts
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After enduring COVID-19, mask mandates, vaccine mandates, school closures (and school reopenings), job changes, rising crime, higher prices, supply shortages and more, along comes news of increasing tensions between Russia and Ukraine.
What are concerned parents and grandparents to do as they aim to keep their homes and their households — including their children's and grandchildren's lives — running as smoothly as possible during stressful times?
For wisdom, counsel, common sense and a faithful perspective, Fox News Digital asked a variety of leaders and others for their views as news about a Russian invasion spreads. Read on for some thoughtful advice and insights.
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‘Help our children be at peace’
Misty Phillip, a Christian mom and inspirational podcaster based in Austin, Texas, shared, "Peace is not the absence of problems but the presence of God."
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She expanded on this: "We cannot control the chaos we see happening in the world today, but by addressing the world through a lens of faith and prayer, we can help our children be at peace."
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Phillip also said, "Prayer is the bridge between panic and peace."
‘Leave phones in another room'
Kathy Koch, PhD, an education psychologist in Fort Worth, Texas, and a faculty member with Summit Ministries (Summit.org), shared these wise words: "Plan to have ongoing conversations with children and not one discussion. This way parents won’t overwhelm children with all that they think they should pass on."
She added, "It makes it easier to for parents to bring up the topic again when they learn something new without children declaring, ‘We already talked about that.’ This attitude also makes it easier for children to circle back to the topic when they have a new question because they don’t believe their parents will declare, ‘We already talked about that.’"
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Said Dr. Kathy Koch about talking to kids about difficult issues, "Children tell me all the time that they won’t talk about hard things if there’s a chance their mom’s phone will ring or ting. They know their mom will be distracted and they’ll have to start over." (iStock)
Koch also advised, "Share information with children you believe they can process. Remember, when your five-year-old asked where babies come from you didn’t give a OB-GYN lesson."
Founder and president of Celebrate Kids Inc., Koch also noted, "Leave phones in another room if you expect to go deep. Children tell me all the time that they won’t talk about hard things if there’s a chance their mom’s phone will ring or ting. They know their mom will be distracted and they’ll have to start over. They don’t want to. Once was hard enough."
Then — "Thank children for trusting you with their concerns. If they’re confused, tell them you’re sorry because you know confusion is frustrating and makes decision-making hard. Remind them," added Dr. Koch, "that ‘God is not a God of confusion’ (1 Corinthians 14:33)."
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If kids are confused during stressful times, advised Kathy Koch, PhD, "tell them you’re sorry because you know confusion is frustrating and makes decision-making hard." Above all — be there for them. (iStock)
Dr. Koch also advised, "If you don’t know the answer, say so. Learn with your children. It’s OK to not know everything. They’ll appreciate your vulnerability and it’s much better than being caught making up something later, as they can now wonder about all that you share."
In addition, she said, "Praying Scripture can be very helpful because we maybe don’t know how to pray. For example, from ESV: ‘Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding; he reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him' (Daniel 2:20-22)."
Dr. Koch shared this Scripture as well: "'God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear.'"
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A woman is shown praying with a Bible open in front of her. Said Kathy Koch, PhD, quoting Scripture, "'Be still, and know that I am God.'"
She went on: "'The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts … He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress' (Psalm 46: 1-2, 6, 9-11)."
Keep ‘a positive mindset’
Rabbi Motti Seligson, public relations director at the Judaism website Chabad.org, told Fox News Digital, "It's critical that we put ourselves and our family in a positive mindset. Crucial to that is comprehending that God runs the world. We place our trust in Him knowing that everything He does is good, and pray that it is revealed [as] good."
Rabbi Selgison added, "At the same time, we understand that most of us don't have much control over what happens on the other side of the world."
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"We can perform acts of goodness and kindness. We can reach out to those around us and in this way make concrete, positive changes around us."
"But we do have the unique ability to change ourselves and our surroundings for the better," said the Brooklyn, N.Y.-based rabbi.
"We can perform acts of goodness and kindness," he said. "We can reach out to those around us and in this way make concrete, positive changes around us."
‘Promote healthy discussions’
Utah-based Connor Boyack, author of the "Tuttle Twins" series, told Fox News Digital, "Parents have increasingly recognized the need to talk to their kids about what’s going on in the world, but many feel inadequate in doing so because they themselves never learned in school the ideas of freedom, how government really works and what their rights are."
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He continued, "For too long, parents have not discussed current events and economic issues with our children, thinking the ideas too complex or perhaps not understanding them themselves."
Today, "our children are increasingly exposed to a cacophony of controversy and opinion through social media," said Connor Boyack. His advice: "Promote healthy discussions in the home" and help children feel comfortable as they explore ideas with trusted family members. (iStock)
"But in today’s world, our children are increasingly exposed to a cacophony of controversy and opinion through social media," said Boyack. "So it’s important for parents to provide a comfortable environment in which our kids can learn, discuss and develop opinions about what is going on in the world."
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Boyack urged parents to "demonstrate to our children that we are still students ourselves, always learning and gathering new information, and forming opinions as we learn new things."
"They should see our vulnerability when we don’t know something and need to do research to figure it out," he said.
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"We should promote healthy discussions in the home," Boyack also said, "where family members can explore these ideas and come up with a plan for what we can do about them."