Reddit drama: Man asks if he's wrong for lying about timing of his wife's pregnancy
Clinical psychologist weighed in: ‘What do you do when someone asks you a private and invasive question?’
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}A Reddit drama is heating up on the social media site as a man asked others if he was in the wrong for lying to his own father about his wife's pregnancy when they got married.
The man wrote, "I got married in July. My parents flew in for the wedding. We'd been engaged almost a year at that point, not that it should matter."
He then shared, "My dad asked me if my wife (then fiancée) was pregnant. She was — but I said no."
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The man on Reddit said that he found his father's question "irrelevant and irritating."
The man added, "My daughter was recently born, and after the initial excitement, my dad brought up that [earlier] conversation."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}A married man on Reddit said his own father drilled him about whether the man's wife was pregnant with a child at the time of their marriage. The Redditor said he was "annoyed" and upset at the very personal question. (iStock )
The husband and new father went on, "Specifically, he said, ‘So she was pregnant at the wedding?’"
The man, who goes by the user name "Whatdifferenceitmake," said he did not appreciate this.
He said he "got annoyed and asked why it mattered."
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He said his father replied that "he was disappointed that I lied. I said it was a stupid question to begin with."
The Reddit writer then said that he told his father "that it was rude to ask something like that."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}A husband and new father, writing on Reddit, said his own father asked him about his wife, "So she was pregnant at the wedding?" (iStock)
He said his father replied, "Well, then why not say that? Why lie? Why not just say it was a rude question?"
The Reddit writer said he then told his father he was "done" with the conversation.
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}The Redditor also noted that his brother "thinks I am the a-----e because I know our dad is different and gets fixated on things, and lying is one of those things."
"Our dad is different and gets fixated on things, and lying is one of those things."
The man went on, "But it was a rude question. Ask a stupid question, and get a stupid answer, I always say."
He then asked for advice from others on Reddit, saying, "Am I the a-----e?"
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}On Reddit, a man revealed that he'd been engaged to his wife for nearly a year when they got married — and that when they got married, she was pregnant, though he didn't want to admit that to his own father. (iStock)
The post, to date, has received more than 1,300 "votes" and over 300 comments.
Wrote one commenter, "Lying isn’t great, but pregnancy is allowed to be personal."
Said another, "Yeah, the [woman's] pregnancy was none of the father’s business, and seeing as so many things can go wrong during a pregnancy (not to mention how stressful it is), it’s understandable to not want to divulge a lot of information to other people."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"You decided to get married way before she got pregnant."
This same commenter added, "And with the way [the man's] dad seems to be dragging this out, I’m sure it will only push [the son] to tell him less going forward."
Wrote another commenter on Reddit, "It's no one's business what is happening in a woman's body unless she/they want to share."
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Said someone else on Reddit, "Good for you for setting boundaries" with the father.
Yet another person on Reddit chimed in with a detailed response, writing, "So she was two months pregnant at the time? Why would [the father] even feel the need to ask about that?"
"You decided to get married way before she got pregnant. Most people don't tell other people they're pregnant until way later than two months," said one commenter on Reddit. (iStock)
The commenter added, "That sounds like [he] didn't approve of the wedding."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}This commenter further noted, "You decided to get married way before she got pregnant. Most people don't tell other people they're pregnant until way later than two months."
And yes, the person also wrote, "That can include close family members."
"What do you do when someone asks you a private and invasive question?"
Fox News Digital reached out to clinical psychologist Dr. Jayme Albin of New York City for input.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}She said, "This is the age-old question, ‘What do you do when someone asks you a private and invasive question?’ if you challenge the person at the time and say, ‘It’s not your business,’ you run the risk of coming across as defensive and giving the person the answer they want it just by your actions."
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She added, "Often, people default to lying to cover up the ‘yes’ answer to the question that should never have been asked in the first place."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}However, she also said, "The best strategy, I feel, is to turn it back around on the person who's asking — and ask [him or her] why they're curious about this. What did they find of interest or concerning to them?"
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She noted, "This will lead to an honest conversation — if there is a real thing there — or just shut the nosey person up."