Psychologists reveal 7 ways parents can drive happiness by helping kids find their purpose

Kids who feel their lives have meaning are happier and healthier, psychologists say

Feeling a sense of purpose is a key factor in human happiness.

That's according to a recent Gallup poll, which found that 60% of Gen Zers who describe themselves as happy also say they have a sense of purpose at work or school.

But while school is out for the summer, and many children are home to do as they wish, it’s important for parents and guardians to guide their kids in a direction that sparks interest, experts advise.

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Educational psychologist and parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba emphasized the importance of helping kids find purpose.

"As mental health plummets and anxiety rises, purpose also plummets," the California-based expert said in an interview with Fox News Digital. 

"Kids who feel that their life has meaning are apt to have stronger self-awareness, do better in school, are more resilient and are mentally healthier," an expert said. (iStock)

"Kids who feel that their lives have meaning are apt to have stronger self-awareness, do better in school, are more resilient and are mentally healthier."

Borba, the author of "Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine," pointed out that in today’s "academic frenzy," there is more focus on grades rather than passions.

"Kids who perform meaningful tasks and see positive results don’t need cheerleading or trophies. They can finally stop wondering, ‘Am I good enough?’"

"A lack of purpose is causing too many to drift, feel stressed and struggle to thrive instead of shine," she said. 

"Instead, they are leashed into adult-driven subjects, clubs or activities whose sole objective is to secure that scholarship or admission acceptance."

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Dr. Lauren Phillips, a clinical psychologist at Williamsburg Therapy Group in New York, also shared with Fox News Digital that a sense of purpose is "rooted in a person's self-worth."

She noted, "When people are sure of themselves, they carry that sense of security with them in their intentions and interactions with others."

As adolescents form their own identities, Phillips said, they "engage more intentionally" with the world as they develop "self-trust."

Parents can help their children immerse themselves in different experiences to see what sparks strong interest, one expert suggested. (iStock)

When children know their purpose, Philips said, it steers them "closer to the path that brings deeper joy and pride and aligns them with something bigger than themselves."

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"Kids who perform meaningful tasks and see positive results don’t need cheerleading or trophies, and they can finally stop wondering, ‘Am I good enough?’" she said.

7 tips to help kids find their purpose

As parents prepare to spend more time with their kids over the summer, here are seven tips for steering them toward a more passionate purpose.

1. Help them find their spark

Parents can start by discovering the interests that excite their child, Borba advised.

She suggested that parents ask their kids the following questions: What gives them pride? What do they want to share with others? When do they take more risks? When are they more willing to experience failure? What do they get up earlier to do? 

"Once you find [a spark], encourage and support it," an expert advised. (iStock)

"Share stories about different types of issues and notice what makes them sit up straighter," Borba suggested. 

"Conference with the teacher or ask adults who see your child in different settings."

Parents can also immerse their children in different experiences – such as touring an art museum, enrolling in a chess club or a sport, reading up on astronomy or providing various art supplies – to see what sparks their interest, Borba said.

2. Encourage free expression without judgment

Parents can support their children's development and emotional needs simply by holding space for them to freely express themselves and "think out loud," according to Phillips.

"This requires parents to curb their judgment and criticism and truly seek to understand how their teen is forming their perspective," she said. 

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"This not only becomes an opportunity for parents to understand their teens better, but also for the teens to understand themselves better."

With that greater understanding, Phillips continued, the teen can make "clearer decisions that align with who they really are." 

Parents should allow their kids the space to "think out loud," according to an expert. (iStock)

Instead of leading their child in one direction, Borba suggested that parents should "slowly step back until the kids pull them in the direction they want to go … If you’re pulling, chances are your child is thinking, ‘This isn’t my interest, it's what Mom and Dad want.'"

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She advised, "Find what your child is drawn to, offer support and then slowly move your footwork until they pull you in the direction that energizes or gives their lives meaning."

The goal, Borba said, is to "assume the role of counselor and cheerleader for your child, not manager or director."

Parents should assume the role of "counselor and cheerleader" for their children — not "manager or director," one expert said. (iStock)

3. Ask, ‘Why?’

Asking your children "why" can help gauge the level of their interest, according to Borba.

"Hold frequent, reflective chats with your kids," she recommended. "Ask things like, ‘Why do you want to play hockey?' or ‘Why is photography important in your life?’"

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In addition, let your kids ask you "why" so you can share your own purpose, she added.

4. Offer variety

Giving children the opportunity to explore a variety of activities can help them identify what brings them the most joy, experts agreed.

"Expand your child’s horizons by encouraging new interests," Borba suggested. "Tune in to what fuels your child’s passion, and then encourage it."

She also said, "Plan vacations that are more experiential, like building homes with Habitat for Humanity, playing soccer in a shelter or painting with kids at the pediatric unit."

Offering a variety of options can help pinpoint what sparks your child's interest, experts noted. (iStock)

If the child is unsure of what they like, Phillips encouraged parents to ask questions such as, "Are you looking to be physically active, creative or a combination?" 

Then, they can narrow down the options.

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"Movement and creative endeavors allow adolescents to freely express themselves and connect to their bodies through sensory stimulation," she said. 

"By getting more into their bodies and environments, they will be able to get out of their heads and feel relief from anxiety."

Becoming more in tune with themselves will help kids foster self-awareness, self-assurance and intention, one expert said. (iStock)

5. Provide community and mentorship

Parents can’t always be experts at everything — and, according to Borba, studies have found that purposeful young people often seek mentors outside the home.

"Look for adults in your community, business, religious affiliation or school to help support your kids' dreams," she suggested.

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Adults who share your child’s interests "can also help them develop a plan to pursue their quest," Borba said.

Connecting with peers can also give kids, especially teens, the opportunity to relate to others in similar phases of development, Phillips added.

Adults who share your child’s interests "can also help them develop a plan to pursue their quest," an expert said. (iStock)

"Finding this sense of belonging fosters self-worth, and validates to the teen that they matter and are understood," the psychologist said.

"This is particularly important as many teens struggle to feel understood as they are working to understand themselves."

6. Build an entrepreneurial spirit

Early business experiences can help kids identify a passion at any age, Borba said.

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"Try taking your child to work one day," she suggested. "Ask an adult to share their work passion. Encourage them to volunteer or get a summer job." 

She went on, "Above all, let your child know that their life matters and that they can make a difference in the world. That is how we help our children develop purpose."

"Teens will develop their sense of capability and effectiveness by demonstrating to themselves that they can and do care for others," an expert said. (iStock)

7. Encourage ‘generativity’

If a child is knowledgeable and excited about an activity, teaching it to others could help fuel their passion, according to experts.

"Part of developing self-efficacy is feeling capable of doing things," Phillips told Fox News Digital.

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"Whether the activity is a summer job in a space with other same-age peers, working as a camp counselor for younger children, tutoring younger kids or volunteering at a local organization, teens will develop a sense of capability and effectiveness by demonstrating to themselves that they can and do care for others," she said. 

"Tune in to what fuels your child’s passion, and then encourage it."

Kids and teens can also explore new hobbies to experience a sense of generativity, such as "taking up photography, journaling or choreographing a dance," Phillips said.

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The expert added, "How people feel about [themselves] determines how they feel about what they have to share with the world — which determines the purpose with which they engage with the world."

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