Nixed your New Year’s resolutions already? This mom moved past 'failure,' found joy in a 'positive past'
Don't let a winter slump keep you down — one mom's tips for staying positive, focused and happy
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}January 1st is nearly a month in the rearview mirror — which means plenty of "life" may have gotten in the way of executing on the best intentions for New Year’s resolutions.
But imperfect follow-through on establishing new habits is not a reason to throw in the towel on them.
Still, we can find ourselves discouraged in the process.
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Let down by a New Year that is no longer "new," we can be tempted to look at those resolutions with regret or bitterness — or just avoid thinking about them altogether.
Then, before we know it, we’ve slipped into the winter slump, just wishing for the first bud of spring.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Seasonal affective disorder hits hardest in January and February — but people don't need to stay in a slump if they've already blown off their New Year's resolutions. One mom in Florida (not pictured) has some solutions. (iStock)
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is at its worst in January and February, New York-Presbyterian Health Matters reports — and it's "estimated to affect 10 million Americans, or 3% of the population," the outlet says.
"An additional 10% [of people] may have mild cases. The disorder affects women four times more than men, and usually begins between the ages of 18 and 30, though children can suffer, too."
"All of us can shift our focus to the ‘positive past’ — and think about the things we're proud we did (or didn’t do) in 2022."
However, all of us can shift our focus to the "positive past" — and think about the things we're proud we did (or didn’t do) in 2022.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}We can reflect on all the ways we grew and helped others grow.
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These are not the things that went just as planned — but rather how we responded to them or simply just survived them.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"While the flowers of spring will inevitably come, you don’t have to wait until the end of March to get a skip in your step," said one mom of four from Florida. (iStock)
Walking through long, dark valleys is an accomplishment — just as much as climbing to the summit of a tall mountain would be.
Here's how to make your "old year's proud" list.
7 tips for getting past failed New Year's resolutions — and reflecting on great things for a great year
1. Use paper and pen. There is power in that old-fashioned connection.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}One study published in Frontiers in Psychology Journal showed greater brain activity when writing by hand as opposed to typing. So select some nice stationery or a notebook that inspires you.
2. Think about your life as slices of a pie. Some slices might be your family, friends, work, hobbies, health, faith, thoughts.
Whatever they are, dedicate a page for each.
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3. Start with one category and ask yourself these questions to spark ideas: When did I smile? What was something that made me laugh? When did I feel alive, energized, or "in flow"? When did I see someone else smile, laugh or be happy because of something I did – or didn’t do?
"When did I see someone else smile, laugh or be happy because of something I did – or didn’t do?" (iStock)
Other questions to ask: What is a memory I wish I could relive? When did I cry – and what happened after that? What were the tough moments and how did I work through those?
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}What was I afraid of and how did I cope? What surprised me and how did I react?
What was a hard decision I made and what came of it?
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}When did I say yes – or no – to something significant and how did that feel?
Do what you have to do to carve out a special space for this rewarding task.
4. Choose the right environment and the right time to reflect.
Take a walk, or sprawl out on the sofa; have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine; wake up a little extra early, or put the kids to bed a little extra early.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Do what you have to do to carve out a special space for this rewarding task.
"Take a walk or sprawl out on the sofa; have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine; wake up a little extra early or put the kids to bed a little extra early" — any of these can work, said one mom, for taking some time to reflect. (iStock)
5. Lead your kids in doing the same practice at the dinner table.
Ask them to come up with something that went well in school, home, church, on their sports teams and with their friends.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}If they have a hard time getting started, jog their memory by saying, "Remember that soccer game when the other team scored all the goals? What was that thing you did to rally your teammates? You really demonstrated you were a leader to me that day."
Encourage your kids to reflect on their siblings' good moments, too.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Questions such as, "John, when did you see your sister the happiest last year?" or "Sarah, how did you see John grow up a little bit more last year?" might prompt some interesting responses.
Parents can ask their kids to come up with something that went well in school, home, church — or on their sports teams or with their friends. (iStock)
6. Archive these lists in a file (pack them away with your Christmas decorations?) so they double as a personal/family time capsule.
7. As you make your "old year’s proud" list, ask a friend or family member to do the same – and then exchange lists.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Clink some glasses and celebrate. There’s more than enough of the bad going around — it's wise to focus on the good.
"An empty pitcher cannot fill a cup of water — but when you ‘pour into yourself,’ you have something more to pour into those around you."
Still skeptical about making a list of this sort?
An empty pitcher cannot fill a cup of water — but when you "pour into yourself," you have something more to pour into those around you.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}So even if you’re hesitant to create a list for yourself, then do it for your kids, your friends, your coworkers.
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If you put your oxygen mask on first, you can more easily help put on theirs. And maybe you’ll even find yourself asking your people what they would add to your list.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}You may be even more proud (and maybe even get a good laugh) after hearing what others close to you have to say.
While the flowers of spring will inevitably come, you don’t have to wait until the end of March to get a skip in your step.
One busy mom of four (not pictured) has shared her best tips for staying focused and positive as a New Year begins — even after New Year's resolutions have slipped by the boards already. (iStock)
Dwelling on "the (positive) past" may actually turn out to be a very good thing after all.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Still stumped on the type of things you could put on your list?
Here are some things that went on the list of one mother recently.
One mom shares her own positive list
"Gave my husband my blessing to sign up for another round of the U.S. Navy Reserves."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Sent Valentine’s Day cards."
"Gave birth to my third child."
"Survived the ‘fourth trimester’ (least favorite time in my child’s life! True confession!)."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Taught my daughter how to read her first words."
"Joined a Bible study."
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Forgave a family friend who really let me down."
"Volunteered in my community."
"Made time for my husband even when I was really tired at night and just wanted to sleep."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Sat by my father’s bedside as he breathed his last breaths."
"Started practicing yoga again."
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Started seeing a therapist again."
"Wrote a eulogy for my dad."
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"Put Christmas lights on the house."
"Wrote this list for another year."