Reddit users slam wedding guest for 'tacky' response to invitation
Wedding guest slammed for 'gross' response to invitation
Some newlyweds apparently aren’t afraid to ask strangers for wedding gifts, but not everyone agrees with the methods couples are using to encourage donations.
An anonymous woman on Reddit who disapproves of newly married couples accepting handouts snapped a photo of a car in her neighborhood that has the phrase, "just married," written on the back window along with the couple’s Venmo username.
The Reddit user, who goes by the account name Skyon_High, uploaded the photo to the "Wedding Shaming" subreddit, a 535,400-member forum where anonymous users shame wedding themes, brides, grooms, guests and vendors for questionable behavior.
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"This is as tacky as it gets.... Not even a ‘buy the bride a drink’ just $$$ [please]," the Skyon_High wrote on Wednesday, May 31. "Disappointed in my neighbor. [Shaking my head]."
A Reddit user snapped a photo of a car window that has the phrase, 'Just Married,' written on it (not pictured) along with the Venmo username that seemingly belongs to the newlyweds. (iStock)
Skyon_High redacted the couple’s username and license plate in the photo. In a Reddit chat, Skyon_High wrote to Fox News Digital that she saw the parked car in Mount Lake Terrace, a suburban city just outside of Seattle, Washington.
The Reddit post has received more than 1,200 upvotes and a "greedy" label from members of the Wedding Shaming subreddit.
"My sister almost did this because she saw people all over the internet doing it," one Reddit user wrote. "Luckily we were able to convince her that it was tacky as hell."
"I see this s--- all over my city, sometimes I JUST see the Venmo handle alone lol," another user wrote. "Used to charge any I came across, but had a friend who did the same and had her account banned so I stopped as well."
"I see this all the time here in Utah. I think it’s tacky," another commenter shared. "I’ve also seen Venmo on wedding invites, which isn’t personally my thing but at least a little better."
"In my day the parents [paid] for wedding," a Reddit user wrote. "I never thought I would see the day when it would be okay to ask total strangers!"
One Reddit user noted that the car window in Skyon_High’s photo is missing the actual word "please" and instead has three dollar signs.
Brides and grooms typically save some money to host their weddings and guests often give newlyweds gifts and cash to celebrate their union. (iStock)
"I think if people are going to do this it needs to be on GoFundMe, I want the full story of why your wedding/Bach party/honeymoon etc is more deserving of my hard earned money vs the vetted causes I already donate to," one Reddit user reasoned. "Plus I want to see how many of your family and friends are donating to your cause because if they aren't willing to publicly donate I'm going to guess you aren't worth it."
Other Reddit users in the comment thread have noted that they’ve seen couples share usernames to payment accounts as a post-wedding celebration in touristy areas.
The practice doesn’t seem to be reserved for newlyweds and Reddit users claim they’ve seen payment account usernames shared online and in-person by recent graduates, birthday celebrators and members of wedding parties who are planning bachelor and bachelorette gatherings.
Some Reddit users defended Skyon_High’s neighbors and other people who are open to strangers donating cash to their life milestones even though they largely agree it doesn’t look tasteful.
"Hey I mean it may be tacky (and I agree it totally is) but it works so I mean…Blame the people who actually send money, that’s why people keep doing this," one Reddit user wrote.
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"I don’t think is such a big deal," another user commented. "They are not hurting anyone, someone might see it and be happy to send them some money and feel good about themselves for doing something nice… I mean, why not?"
Close family members and friends typically give newlyweds cash gifts rather than strangers. (iStock)
"Don’t hate the player, hate the game," another user joked.
"[To be honest] it's just window paint, it's easily ignored and not hurting anyone," another Reddit user wrote.
A few Reddit users wrote that they think sharing a Venmo account in order to collect money from strangers is a practice that’s in poor taste, but they also wish they were brave enough to ask for money like the couple who were at the center of the discussion.
"I'm not saying it's not tacky, but this type of stuff doesn't bother me. If people want to straight up ask for money like that, sure go for it," one Reddit user wrote. "There's absolutely someone out there who will see it and send them something. I wish I was that shameless."
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A Reddit user replied that the car window text "could be a straight up lie to get some easy cash," but the opposing commenter wrote that a stranger accepting cash from other strangers isn’t something she resents.
Writing 'Just Married' on car windows and sharing mobile payment account usernames seems to be a growing trend for newlyeweds, according to wedding and event experts. (iStock)
"You're correct, it could be. Which is why I don't typically donate at random to whoever asks," the Reddit user wrote back.
"But for the people who are out there asking and receiving, while I am jealous of the easy cash, I don't begrudge them their (potentially morally questionable) side hustle. Again, were I more shameless, I would want for less," the user added.
What do wedding etiquette experts think?
Lisa Mirza Grotts, an etiquette expert in San Francisco who has 23 years of experience advising corporations and private citizens, told Fox News Digital that couples should avoid advertising their payment accounts before and after the wedding.
"It’s in poor taste to ask for gifts. Period. End of story," said Grotts. "We don’t do it on invitations, so we certainly don’t advertise in car windows."
Lisa Mirza Grotts, an etiquette expert and coach from California, says newlyweds should avoid advertising payment accounts on car windows. (Lisa Mirza Grotts - Headshots/Emily Kim Photography)
She continued, "The golden rule of a gift registry is never to add it to an invitation. It’s up to you or a host to give guidance, so if someone asks, it’s OK to verbally let them know."
Chantelle Hartman Malarkey, a hosting aesthetic expert and lifestyle blogger from San Diego, told Fox News Digital that digital payment apps have changed how society commemorates and celebrate important life events.
A recent ‘Global Wedding Report’ published by The Knot claims American couples are spending around $30,000 on average for their weddings. (iStock)
"Putting one's Venmo handle on a car window to solicit cash gifts from random people is one of the newest trends," said Malarkey. "This has created a discussion, with some saying it's a rude way to beg for money and others saying it's a contemporary and practical way to accept presents."
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"The general view is that there is no right or wrong response and that personal preference ultimately determines the best course of action," she continued.
Chantelle Hartman Malarkey, a hosting aesthetic expert and lifestyle blogger, says newlyweds can share their payment accounts on car windows, but they should be aware that not everyone approves of the trend. (Chantelle Hartman Malarkey)
Malarkey acknowledged that some people think sharing payment account usernames on car windows is a trend that breaks etiquette rules and can result in snap judgments.
"Soliciting for money in this manner may come off as tacky or even make guests uncomfortable – potentially forcing them to contribute or feeling pressured into contributing themselves," said Malarkey. "Etiquette goes beyond simply following rules, it also involves showing respect and consideration towards others."
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As an alternative, Malarkey said couples can create donation boxes or an online registry, so wedding guests can contribute discreetly.
Card boxes have traditionally been used to collect cash gifts from wedding guests. Some couples are now moving to online payment apps and gift registries. (iStock)
"Donations should never be expected from strangers as this can appear impersonal and take away from the sentimentality of an event," she warned. "Weddings, birthday parties and graduation celebrations exist to bring people together meaningfully rather than collect cash donations from attendees."
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For newlyweds and celebrants who aren’t afraid to advertise their payment accounts on car windows, Malarkey said there’s a chance that strangers will donate funds.
"Some people love to be part of celebratory events and make other people’s day for no reason at all. They can be strangers with no relationship just looking to make someone’s day," said Malarkey. "If someone wants to contribute to someone else’s special event at random, then why not."
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