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Wedding planning can be fun but also stressful.
With ideas swirling among the bride, the groom and oftentimes those beside the two to be wed, things can get heated.
There are so many aspects of a wedding day.
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The venue, theme, entertainment, food, decorations, guest list, photographers and so much more — all have to be considered.
When you are filling in the puzzle pieces with your partner to create your dream wedding day and an argument starts brewing, here are tips to help you and your soon-to-be-spouse get through it.
A couple argue with each other. (iStock)
- Focus on your why
- Create a list of your most important factors
- Take a break
- Spread the responsibilities
- Set boundaries
1. Focus on your why
Whenever an argument occurs during wedding planning, come back to your why.
Think about the love you have for your partner and really focus on the big picture. It can be really easy to focus in on the wedding of it all, but when things start to get tense, think beyond just the day itself.
This is the day when you are going to marry the love of your life. Focus on all the excitement that is coming, the joy that your marriage will bring and try not to stress over all the intricate details.
2. Create a list of your most important factors
At the beginning of your wedding planning journey, list out all the factors of your big day from what is most important to you to the least important. Have your partner do the same.
Do this task separately from one another, so that you are really focused on what your nonnegotiables are.
Early in wedding planning, write the top factors that are very important to you in regard to your big day. Have your partner do the same. Then compare notes to create a day when you each have your important aspects met. (iStock)
When you are finished, come together with your partner and discuss each of your top three items. You may find that there are certain things that are really important to you that may not be as important to your partner. For example, your top factor could be that you really want to get married in a certain setting. The setting may be low on your partner's list, but their No. 1 factor is that they want a sit-down dinner rather than a buffet.
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Finding out what's most important to both parties can help create a day that includes a piece of each of you within it. If there is something extremely important to your partner, let them choose that aspect of the day and vice versa.
Talk through each aspect of the day with your partner, and do your best to seek solutions rather than arguments, and really get creative about how you can incorporate both of your ideas.
When thinking about the details of the day, it's also really important to come up with a budget. This is something that can cause a lot of strain on couples, if the amount they want to spend is drastically different.
Go through your finances together, figure out how much you have to spend and come up with a concrete number to stick to. If you don't come up with a budget ahead of time, financial fights are bound to occur down the line.
3. Take a break
When things get stressful, simply take a step back. A lot of wedding planning can feel like a giant time crunch, but taking a break is vital in order to avoid or help solve arguments.
During this planning period, you should be taking time for yourself, doing the things you enjoy while also spending time with your partner outside wedding planning.
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Continue to go on dates together, experience new things, even take a short weekend getaway if you're able.
While wedding planning, continue to do fun activities with your partner, like going on a weekly date. Take moments to simply enjoy each other's company. (iStock)
This all goes back to remembering your why. When disagreements happen, go back to why you fell in love in the first place.
Don't limit your time together to wedding planning. Continue to spend time together doing other things, too.
4. Spread the responsibilities
Couples are surrounded by a lot of outside noise when wedding planning. This noise can come from parents, in-laws, siblings and friends.
While they likely mean well, a lot of times too many opinions can put a lot of strain on a couple and draw them apart. While there is nothing wrong with consulting others in your life for ideas, unsolicited advice during wedding planning is likely to occur.
As the bride and groom, there are ways you can incorporate your family and friends who love you into your wedding planning journey.
Once you and your partner start making decisions about the day, start to deligate responsibilities to others. For example, once your wedding website is made, you could ask the maid of honor if she would be OK being listed as a contact on the website. That way, any questions will get sent her way, leaving that task out of your hands.
Once wedding details begin to be set, delegate responsibilities to others you trust. (iStock)
Another way to spread the responsibilities is by hiring a wedding planner. Wedding planners have a wealth of knowledge they can share with you. They are a great resource to bounce ideas off of and can help you create the day of your dreams. T
hey can also serve as a mediator between the couple and potential problems that are to arise with guests or vendors.
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If you are going to hire a wedding planner, make sure to do so early in the process.
That way, they can help plan out the day from the start.
5. Set boundaries
One of the most important things you and your partner can do in your wedding planning journey is set boundaries with each other and those around you.
If you are getting into arguments with your fiancé's family, communicate with your partner about that and let him or her handle that family.
On the flip side, take over in instances where your family may be overstepping.
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When things are getting tough, know when it's time to take a step back and come back to planning later.
Be a clear communicator and work with your partner, not against your loved one, to plan a magical day for you both.
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