The Breakfast Wrap: Joan Jett Leaves Turkey Day Float and Lady Gaga Simulates Sex With R. Kelly

(Reuters)

Here's what's going down today:

Joan Jett removed herself from the South Dakota float in the upcoming Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade because ranchers were protesting the fact that she's a vegetarian. But that's crazy, because the true meaning of the holiday isn't turkey.

Lady Gaga and R. Kelly performed "Do What U Want" on "SNL" this weekend, complete with tame simulated sex.

"Two and a Half Men" star Ashton Kutcher had to put his dog to sleep, and girlfriend Mila Kunis was reportedly at his side for the whole ordeal.

Comedienne Sarah Silverman stopped by "Jimmy Kimmel Live" to give her ex-boyfriend back all the stuff he left at her house when they broke up.

Everybody's talking about Claire Danes' new red hair, but it's barely red, and not nearly as red as it was in her days.

Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine is to be named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, a title most recently bestowed upon

Singer/songwriter Jewel wore a tight leather dress to a Los Angeles tree-lighting ceremony. (In other news, we're apparently lighting trees already.)

Robert Pattinson has a goatee. So here's what that looks like.

Jim Belushi doesn't want Emile Hirsch to portray big bro John Belushi in the comedian's upcoming biopic … because he wants his son Robert Belushi to do it instead.

Kanye West gave a lecture to some design students at Harvard, then gave them all tickets to his show.

An alternate "Breaking Bad" ending from the upcoming DVD box set just leaked to the internet. Apparently, the whole series is just a nightmare dreamed up by Bryan Cranston's "Malcolm in the Middle" character.

Taylor Swift is reportedly looking for a home in London, because she's rich, and why not?

And finally, Butterball says there's going to be a shortage of their turkeys this year, which stinks, until you realize you can just buy another brand.