Paulina Porizkova opens up about Ric Ocasek’s death: 'I just don't know how to go on'
The couple announced their separation in May 2018
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Paulina Porizkova got candid in a new interview, detailing her dark journey after the death of Ric Ocasek, her ex-husband.
The model admitted that she wanted to die following Ocasek's 2019 death from heart disease.
"I mean, how many people wouldn’t [think about it], you know?" the model told Page Six.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"It’s not even so much that I thought about how to kill myself or when to kill myself; it was just that feeling of, ‘I just don’t know how to go on. I can’t do this anymore. … I just want to go away. I can’t bear waking up tomorrow morning, being the same person with the same feelings. I can’t carry it anymore.'"
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Ocasek died in 2019 from heart disease worsened by emphysema. They shared two sons, and Porizkova had announced the couple’s separation the previous year.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Ric Ocasek, of The Cars, and Paulina Porizkova attend 33rd Annual Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony at Public Auditorium on April 14, 2018 in Cleveland. A month after The Cars' induction, Porizkova announced she and Ocasek had split a year earlier. (Getty)
The pair jointly announced their separation in May 2018.
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Last year, Porizkova alleged that Ocasek had been controlling.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Model Paulina Porizkova attending the "Fashion Show Benefiting AIDS Patients at St. Vincent Hospital" on Nov. 30, 1986 at Barney's in New York City, New York (Getty Images)
"He didn’t want me to do anything," the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit veteran told Amanda de Cadenet on her podcast. "He didn’t want me to go anywhere. He wanted me to be within his circles at all times. I was his sole emotional provider for everything, and I confused that with love."
Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova in a 2001 file photo. Porizkova shocked fans when she previously announced the split on Instagram. (Getty)
The star admitted in the podcast she was devastated to learn after his death that Ocasek had cut her out of his will.
"It’s a betrayal," she said. "It’s a betrayal of my trust and my love and everything I put into him for years and years and years. And I have no way of knowing what possessed him to do this."
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