Kristen Johnston, known for her role as Sally Solomon on NBC’s "3rd Rock from the Sun," opened up about her past struggles with drugs and alcohol and how she's been sober for the last 14 years.
On Tuesday, the Emmy-winning actress, 53, appeared on Elizabeth Vargas' podcast "Heart of the Matter" and called her relationship with drugs "very abusive."
"Oh, my God, just thinking about that time of my life, it gives me chills," Johnston recalled. "The thing I’m happiest about in my life is that I’m no longer using. It really is, because… there is no greater hell."
The "Mom" star described how she would drink "two bottles of wine a night and popping 10, 20, 30 pills a day."
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Johnston admitted that her dependency came from not knowing how to handle fame.
"It really wasn’t fun. The work was fun, but everything that came with it was so terrifying to me," she said. "I didn’t realize until later that I lived in a state of absolute panic for 10 years… It was just crazy. I had no ability that I have today of just putting [things] into perspective, and like, ‘Oh, get over it. Just move on. There’s more important things to worry about.’ I hate to say that I was a cliche, but I really was. I mean, I was an actress who couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle the fame."
Johnston said she felt "loneliness" and "isolation" and turned to pills to help ease her pain.
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"For a long time, it was like an abusive relationship," she said. "You’re not fully committed to this guy who beats you. He comes in, you break up, you go for a couple months without seeing him, then he pulls back up on his motorcycle and you start dating him again. It was like an on-off relationship for four years, and it only became really bad after 3rd Rock. … I was able to keep a lid on it for a couple of years, and then we became married, me and my opiates, a couple of years after 3rd Rock, and it was a very, very abusive relationship."
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Johnston said she had a moment of "sanity" when she landed in the emergency room while in London on New Year's Eve. "That started my journey to recovery," she explained.
While Johnston was able to get sober, her sister was not and sadly died in August 2020 after suffering from addiction for years.
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"It was just a very painful thing for my family. So, I connect to people who communicate with me, the loved ones of addicts and the addicts, because I’ve been both," she said.