'Jersey Shore' Re-Cap: Snooki and Deena Make Out, Lose Underpants and Hit a Police Car

Deena Cortese and Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi (right). (AP)

Yes, Snooki and Deena take The Meatball Show on the road this week. But first, busybody Jenni starts right where she left off: lecturing Snooki about her relationship with Jionni, who she and the roommates dislike. Didn't she date a guy who stole a bunch of her stuff? Should she be advising anyone on who to date?

But when Snooki calls Jionni, it seems like Jenni might have a point. Jionni scolds Snooki for being "beyond rude" on the phone the other night, demands to know which roommates said he was out of line, tells her he's not coming out to visit and then hangs up on her. Snooki doesn't seem too bothered, though, because ...

Road trip! The gang gets the weekend off from their pretend job to visit Riccioni, a seaside resort town on the Adriatic. When they finally fit their roughly nine hundred bags of luggage into two Fiats and make it to the hotel, future Fodors writer Snooki sums up Riccioni: "It looks like Hawaii, so I feel like it's like an island. Or maybe it's, like, on the border of a continent. You know what I mean? So it's, like, by ocean."

The boys set off to explore and find the most unfortunate man in Italy: Mike's doppelgänger. Meanwhile the girls hit the beach for about five minutes before they decide they need to start drinking. Snooki yells to no one in particular that she wants to know how to say "vagina" in Italian. One mortified passerby tells her it's "not so good" for girls to talk like that, and they all take some time to think about how their boorish behavior might not be appropriate . . . oh, ha ha, no that didn't happen at all, of course. They just screamed about being "from Jersey" and clomped away for some drunk shopping.

Snooki and Deena are on a "whole nother level" of drunk, so Jenni and Sam ditch them and head back to the hotel. Pretty soon Team Meatball winds up at an outdoor party where the guys show up, convinced there's no way Snooki and Deena can sober up in time for dinner. After Snooki dives into a bush for no reason and Deena loses her underwear on the dance floor, it does seem unlikely. "It's only Jersey girls that can dance so hard their underwears come off," Deena says, proudly. But sure enough, they clean themselves up and make their way to the restaurant to meet the others — just as everyone else has finished eating and is ready to go.

Then it's on to the club, and guess who forgot her underpants? "Whatever. I forgot to put underwears on." Does that help? Jenni tries to tell Deena that maybe deep squats in her tiny skirt aren't such a great idea, but Deena is beyond caring. "All I know is, Deena needs a wax," Jenni says. Deena and Snooki start dirty dancing with each other, and before long they're "digesting each other's tongues," as Jenni put it. The kissing session continues even in the cab ride back to the hotel. "I don't even make out this long with Ron," Sammi says.

The next morning, Pauly wakes everyone up as usu — hey, wait. That's not Pauly. That's Ronnie, who's "swacked" Pauly's wake-up call. See, waking people up is Pauly's swagger, and if you get your swagger jacked, you've been swacked. Yep.

Snooki and Deena are still sleeping, so it's a perfect opportunity for everyone to talk behind their backs. Sammi and Jenni are amazed and grossed out that they apparently hooked up the night before, while Ronnie says their behavior at the club makes him think Jionni might be right when he gives Snooki a hard time.

They have some food and do a little shopping, and Snooki and Deena are still asleep when they get back. "It smells like hot sweat and regret in here," Vinny observes. But the girls claim not to remember anything that happened. "Usually even if I'm blacked out, I know I did sex," Deena says, perplexed.

Immediately upon returning to the house, Snooki calls Jionni to confess about her hijinks with Deena, but he doesn't seem to care.

Later, Snooki and Deena try to get back into a routine by going to the gym, but because they can't go ten minutes without creating a scene, Snooki rams the Fiat right into a police car. And of course she doesn't have her license on her, so Deena has to call the boys to bring it, leaving Snooki to freak out while an ambulance comes to take the cop from the car she hit away in a stretcher. Snooki is crying and begging not to be arrested, but she and Deena are loaded into a police car as the episode ends.

"If Nicole is locked up, they might kick us out of Italy," Vinny says. Drama! Suspense! We'll find out all about the fallout next week. Plus we meet the mysterious Jionni, who apparently decided to come to Italy after all. Yeah, he'll probably regret that decision. But it will be fun to watch!

—Christine Lusey, PopNews Wire