Holly Madison recalls body dysmorphia struggle during Playboy days: 'I thought my thighs were huge'
'Girls Next Door' alum lived in the Playboy mansion when she dated Hugh Hefner
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Holly Madison is opening up about the effects body dysmorphia can have on one's psyche.
The "The Girls Next Door" alum took to TikTok this week to share a body-positive message with her followers about how she used to obsess over her weight while living in the Playboy mansion.
While dressed in a casual T-shirt at home, Hugh Hefner's former girlfriend informed viewers that she was trying to find a throwback picture of herself in a Playboy bunny costume. Madison ultimately shared a stunning photo of herself dressed in a black strapless satin corset and her long, platinum blonde curls falling past her shoulders.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Looking back at the old photo reminded the mother of two of the negative things she used to tell herself about her body, she said.
V Personalities Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson. (Neilson Barnard/Getty Images)
"It reminded me of a moment in my life where I was watching a playback of myself in a fashion show and I thought, ‘Oh my God, I need to lose weight.’ And I'm sharing this because I think it might help people realize that sometimes our body dysmorphia is off the charts," Madison said.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Madison insisted to her 1 million followers that being critical of oneself, especially when it comes to looks, can steal a person of their happiness.
"I really feel like worrying about what I look like has gotten in the way of me living my best life and being as happy as I could be and really enjoying life as much as I could. I hope that people can take a minute to think about how they think about their own body and is it holding you back by feeling bad about yourself?" she asked.
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}The 41-year-old recalled her past fears of that very moment in the bunny costume.
"I looked at myself when I looked like this and was terrified and thought I had gained weight and thought that I hadn't stuck to my diet and I thought my thighs were huge and thought I needed to lose five pounds at least," she recalled.
Holly Madison in a Playboy bunny uniform designed by Roberto Cavalli. (Denise Truscello/WireImage)
Madison now calls her past criticism of her body "ridiculous."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"I look like a stick," she said of the throwback photo.
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Madison is best known for her high-profile relationship with the late Playboy founder which was documented on the former reality series "Girls Next Door," also starring Hefner's exes Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt.
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Madison later married and divorced Pasquale Rotella. They share two kids – Rainbow and Forest.