Evangeline Lilly gets candid about 'rough year': 'I often feel alone and unseen'
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Evangeline Lilly is opening up to her social media followers.
On Friday, the "Ant-Man and the Wasp" star took to Instagram where she got incredibly candid, revealing that she's had a tumultuous year and chose not to speak about it until now.
"I had such a rough year last year but I didn’t want to share all of it with you because i didn’t want to be a dark cloud in your world," Lilly began. "All I’ve ever wanted to do was put joy in the world. To add sunshine.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}EVANGELINE LILLY SHAVES HER HEAD: 'IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY'
"I didn’t want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you sad," she continued. "But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen."
The "Lost" alum, 40, went on to say that she's always known that she was "strong."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my pain and everyone else’s also," she said. "So I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too.
"Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain," the actress admitted.
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}However, then last year, Lilly said she "broke."
"Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears," she shared. "I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or ... carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me.
Evangeline Lilly attends the Los Angeles World Premiere of Marvel Studios' "Avengers: Endgame" at the Los Angeles Convention Center on April 23, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. (Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney)
"I am coming out of that deep place, slowly," Lilly said. "As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my darkness.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share. But I ask myself ... would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it?" she concluded her post.
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Along with her message, Lilly shared two "flashback friday" photos of herself, which she says were taken about a year ago today by her 4-year-old son.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}In the first picture, the star -- wearing a black tank top and blue shorts -- is seen sitting on the floor with her hand on her forehead. In the second photo, Lilly looks towards the camera.
Lilly did not provide exact details on the trauma she was referring to. Still, fans -- including her famous friends -- immediately flooded her comments section with words of encouragement and support.
"Your vulnerability is what makes you strongest. Here for it ALL beautiful one. What you go through, you go throw. Love you," actress Michelle Monaghan wrote, along with a heart emoji.
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Commented one person: "You are an inspiration, and I think we're all stronger when we try to carry one another. Thanks for sharing."
"We're here to support you," said another individual.
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"You are such an inspiration, thank you for sharing this," added another person.