Bill Maher blasts 'Snitch Nation': Everyone's 'an amateur secret policeman' and 'tattling is a virtue'

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"Real Time" host Bill Maher closed his show Friday night by slamming "Snitch Nation," which he claims has taken America by storm. 

Maher began the monologue by calling out the Texas abortion law that allows citizens to sue anyone who aides a pregnancy termination beyond six weeks into the pregnancy and be rewarded at least $10,000, saying "no cash prizes for snitching."

"Jesus, when did West Texas become East Germany?" Maher asked. "Even if you hate sluts and love money, you have to admit bounty hunting people who help pregnant women is pretty un-American. Also, you're working too hard, Texas! This is 2021. You don't have to pay people to snitch. America is Snitch Nation now, they'll happily do it for free."

"This is 2021. You don't have to pay people to snitch. America is Snitch Nation now, they'll happily do it for free."

— Bill Maher

"Real Time" host Bill Maher.

The HBO star lamented how snitching is no longer "a bad thing" and how children were once taught "Nobody likes a tattletale" but now "virtually every public accomplishment comes with the obligatory follow-up snitch story a few days later."

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‘Squeal Team Six’

Maher listed several examples of "Squeal Team Six" taking action against like the "poor schmuck" Mike Richards, who was ousted as the new host of "Jeopardy!" after his offensive podcast comments were unearthed, and journalist Alexi McCammond, who was forced out as the incoming editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue after staffers revolted over anti-Asian and homophobic tweets she wrote in high school.

He then pointed out how Teen Vogue social media manager Christine Davitt, who endorsed the McCammond ousting, was also outed for using the N-word in tweets she wrote years ago. 

Mike Richards got the boot from "Jeopardy!" because of podcast comments that were deemed offensive. (Getty Images)

"This is why I'm a little hopeful that this purity purge may end because it's starting to eat its own," Maher told his viewers. "ESPN reporter Rachel Nichols was a feminist success story but when she complained in a private telephone call about ESPN's crappy longtime record on diversity and expressed her view that she felt like she was being sacrificed by the network so they could make up for that crappy longtime record on diversity, the call was leaked and she was toast. Now, in addition to the fact that a person should have to love getting fired, even if it does achieve more equity, this was a private call! Does ‘private’ mean anything anymore? Apparently not!"

ESPN's Rachel Nichols was "toast" after she complained about being sacrificed because of the network's "crappy longtime record on diversity," Bill Maher says. (Associated Press)

"Even sadder, this love of snitching seems to be one of the few areas that is now truly bipartisan. Snitch Nation isn't about what side you're on, it's about this mindset where everyone is an amateur secret policeman and tattling is a virtue. The woke side of the internet thinks going through somebody's MySpace account makes them part of the Resistance. It doesn't: It makes you a punk.

"The woke side of the internet thinks going through somebody's MySpace account makes them part of the Resistance. It doesn't: It makes you a punk."

— Bill Maher

"And Republicans lately … have been encouraging college students to whip out their phones to record and report professors who espouse leftist ideas. As always, the snowflakes fall just as hard on the right as they do on the left," Maher continued. 

The liberal comedian then complained about "snitches" in the audience of comedy clubs who use their cellphones to "rat out" comedians "crossing the line," which he noted is "practically the job description of a comedian."

"Comics are joking constantly. Even some people who aren't comics do that. And if you're lucky enough in life to be around people like that, I'm sure you know they can't all be gems," Maher exclaimed. "Sometimes you get the twisties and the joke doesn't land just right. Exposing that doesn't make you noble. You're not David Kaczynski, the brother of the Unibomber who turned in his own brother lest any more mail bombs go off. That was noble, you know, because it was about bombs and not bombing. There's a real difference between the Unibomber and the editor of Teen Vogue."

"I don't want to live in Snitchlandia where you can't trust your neighbors and you're always looking over your shoulder."

— Bill Maher

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"You're a loser with WiFi and all the time in the world to listen to long-forgotten podcasts. You're not a journalist, you're just a creepy little rat. Go to Texas and catch a runaway embryo. … You know, I don't want to live in Snitchlandia where you can't trust your neighbors and you're always looking over your shoulder, a land of Karens and Gladys Kravitzes, ruled by citizen informants where Republicans sue you for your sex life and Democrats get you fired fora Halloween costume. And then we all go home and applaud ourselves for our courage," Maher added.