Betty White's longtime pal remembers TV icon’s Montana trips, ‘handsome’ men and her desire to save the world

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Betty White's close friend Patty Sullivan describes what the TV icon was like in her final days

Betty White's close friend Patty Sullivan wrote a book to mark the one-year anniversary of the TV icon's death, called "Betty White's Pearls of Wisdom: Life Lessons from a Beloved American Treasure."

Betty White's close friend Patty Sullivan is opening up about the TV icon's final days, and their decades-long friendship.

During a recent interview with Fox News Digital, Sullivan discussed her new book, "Betty White's Pearls of Wisdom: Life Lessons from a Beloved American Treasure," which gives fans an intimate look at White's life when the cameras weren't rolling. It tells the tale of how White met the Sullivans, the people who would go on to be her chosen family, standing by the actress through her final days.

"I hope Betty would love what I've written about her," Patty said. "She had no knowledge I was doing this, and I hadn't intended for it to be between hard cover, but I hope this will mark the first year of her passing with keeping her legacy alive, her beautiful strength, her beautiful gift to all of life. I hope that's what will happen in these next couple of weeks."

Sullivan met White and her husband Allen Ludden in the late 1960s when the two were performing in Cape Cod, while Sullivan's husband Tom Sullivan was starting his music career performing at a local restaurant. White and Ludden would come into the restaurant after their performances, and "instantly fell in love with" Tom's performances. 

Betty White and Patty Sullivan met in Cape Cod, when White and her husband walked into the lounge Sullivan's husband was singing in. (Patty Sullivan)

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"Alan was such a fan of talent, and he just took my husband right under his wing," Sullivan said. "Suddenly, by a week into their performance, we were all sitting together at their table, and my husband Tom, connected with Betty and Allen so immediately, it was like they knew each other all their lives. Alan and Betty got very, very interested in promoting my husband's career, which became quite special very quickly because of their insight and their other passion for new talent."

In those first few years of their friendship, Sullivan said "I let my husband do all the talking," because "I was just so awestruck I could barely speak to her." It wasn't until the two spent Christmas together in Montana that Sullivan says her "deeper relationship with Betty" started.

"I hope this will mark the first year of her passing with keeping her legacy alive, her beautiful strength, her beautiful gift to all of life."

— Patty Sullivan

One of the pearls of wisdom White taught her during that trip, is "the pearl of silence." She recalled White encouraging everyone to live in the moment and appreciate all the blessings around them.

"She wanted me to pick out her clothes and help her dress, which was so fun for me. But then as I saw her with our group of friends and sort of declaring that we needed to stop and recognize the moment we were in, the beauty of where we were, which was extraordinary. And it made us all stop," she explained. "I think that's actually one of the first pearls that I think about every Christmas, because that one that was a wild Christmas that brought her close to me for the first time."

The book also touches on White's final days with the Sullivan family by her side, documenting how Sullivan, her husband and her kids were feeling as they "spread her ashes." She spoke about how White never let her condition get her down, and stayed strong through everything.

Betty White, bottom left, not only grew close to Patty Sullivan, left, but also her husband and their two kids, who are mentioned in the book. (Patty Sullivan)

"She was a light to the last moments of her public life. I knew what she was feeling physically. I knew that she was struggling with her physical ability to get around. And as I say in the book, she never allowed a wheelchair. She never sat in one," Sullivan said. "She had a walker toward the end, but she always had a handsome young guy to escort her everywhere."

Watching White at 97 years old reminded Sullivan "to stay a light, stay involved, belong to the people you cared about and all of that." "Don't let go," she noted. 

Sullivan told Fox News Digital one of their favorite activities to do together was play Scrabble, and they continued that tradition into White's last days.

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"We played a lot of Scrabble together, but in the last stages, the words weren't coming together for her, and I thought, 'No, we're just going to get the three-letter words out there and be respectful of her,'" Sullivan said. "But that was a deep sadness. I didn't want her extraordinary brain to be less than it was. So there's some very, very tender moments in that transition period."

Sullivan referred to her final days with White as "sad days," and that she feels "a lot of emotion," especially with the holidays coming up and it being the first anniversary of her passing.

"This was like the third Thanksgiving because of COVID that she wasn't sitting at our table. And so I think … those last chapters are fairly delicate, but it's about someone's end of life," Sullivan shared. "I'm hoping that for those readers who have experienced that also, that they will be touched by the journey I shared with Betty, and the pearls of wisdom, and the deep love and respect for someone who I adore [in] kind of in my own poetic writing, and I hope that will be a universal thing." 

The book started as Patty Sullivan's personal journal and became a book for the public through the encouragement of her loved ones. (Patty Sullivan)

The book started out as Sullivan's own personal journal, which she started because she "really wanted to remember so many of the beautiful times that [she and her] family shared with Betty." 

"I wanted to capsule her not only her face and her observations, her eyes, all of that, but the experience itself," Sullivan said, adding that those around her encouraged her to make it into a book. She called the process "a true work of love" that she feels "very special about."

Sullivan hopes readers will learn just how much White cared about the world, all its inhabitants, and the health of the planet in general. She explained White "never got involved in politics, but her love of this planet and her respect for it was so broad and so deep within her," citing the time a joyful White was able to see "a lost baby sea otter" being "introduced to a surrogate mom" at the Monterey Aquarium.

"She could see the otters from her window in front of [her] house and to see the loss of population over time, it just really disturbed her," Sullivan explained. "So when she put money and effort and time and concern into saving the sea otter, that was huge. And I got that moment with her – to see on her face, ‘Oh, my gosh, look what I was able to help others achieve,'" Sullivan recalled. 

"I think that's a bigger picture. We always see her promoting, take care of your animals, speak to them, they'll speak to you kind of thing, but to realize the vast amount of work she was doing," Sullivan said. "That was her first love, by the way. Show business gave her the privilege to support and [fund it]."

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While her first passion was giving back to the world, Sullivan says White "adored acting from the get go," and that "every role that she went up for was meaningful to her." Of course, "Golden Girls" has stood the test of time, something Sullivan says White always knew would happen.

Betty White had a special relationship with Tom Sullivan, who as a performer, was able to understand her lifestyle. (Patty Sullivan)

"When those reruns happen every night of the week, I have grandchildren of my friends say, ‘I love Betty White, I want her to be my grandma.’ And that show is timeless," she said. "You think about the other stuff that she did, the delicious moments with David E. Kelley shows and […] her wonderful Snickers commercial when she's falling in the mud, and she has some words to say. I mean, she was amazing. She loved every minute of it."

Since Sullivan's husband was also in show business, she explains that created a special bond between them, noting "they understood each other" and "she would share so much of what went on with this man."

As far as how she hopes fans remember White, Sullivan explains she hopes they learn the importance of authenticity, "learn that they have their own strengths," and that through living like White, "there is a lot for everyone from [the] beginning, middle and end of our lives." 

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"There was a reason why she was a unique giver for this planet, and so I hope people come away with how she was far more than I realized from the ‘Golden Girls,’ and there's a reason why she was very committed to her values," Sullivan said. "That World War Two generation, that greatest generation, just had some resilience and strength that Betty certainly had. While we get the laughter from the collapsing souffle and all of those wonderful clips that are on YouTube to enjoy, there is an essence about her that underscored everything she was."