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Miss Jumbo Queen. Thailand. No skinny Minnies or Annie-rexics at this annual beauty pageant; here, the contestants must weigh a minimum of 175 pounds, and can win as much as $50,000 and an oversized (naturally) trophy. There are subsets of winners; the heaviest contestant can also take home a prize, for example. If you like 'em large and lovely, this is the place to be - and come on, it's for a good cause! The proceeds of the event all go to help protect Thailand's elephant population. No, we're not joking.![Miss Hell Hole Swamp]()
Miss Hell Hole Swamp. Jamestown, South Carolina. You got your Miss Garlics and Miss Limp Carrots out there, sure, but they shrink in the presence of the big bad Miss Hell Hole Swamp. Wouldn't you? Jamestown has barely 100 residents, but their local festival swells that number exponentially during its annual Hell Hole Swamp Festival, which got its name during the Revolutionary War, when a general called it a "helluva hole in the swamp." And every deep pit needs its queen, apparently.![Miss Outdoors Pageant]()
Miss Outdoors Pageant. Golden Hill, Maryland. "The great outdoors" may translate to most beauty pageant attendees as an afternoon sunning by the pool, but since 2003, participants in the "Miss Outdoors" pageant have melded their clear skin and winning smile with another unique talent - muskrat skinning. For the past 54 years the National Outdoor Show has held a beauty contest and a muskrat skinning contest, but in 2003 Tiffany Brittingham paired the two up and skinned a 'rat for her talent portion. Wearing makeup and jewelry while wielding a knife on the dead animal, she raised a ruckus - and even got a marriage proposal - but didn't win until 2005. The event was filmed for a 2004 documentary called "Muskrat Lovely." You could say these two things - pageants and skinning - just go together, kind of like Captain and Tennille.![Loveliest Camel]()
Loveliest Camel. United Arab Emirates. Who says you have to conform to traditional ideas of beauty to be in a pageant? Who even says you have to be human? Not the discerning judges who oversee the annual camel beauty pageant in Abu Dhabi, held for the past seven years in April as part of the Mazayin Dhafra festival. There may be other competitions between camels around the Middle East, but this one tr-humps them all. Millions of dollars and assorted cars and trucks go up as prizes, and the winning camels command incredible prices once it's all over (something that can't be said about most beauty pageant winners). In 2007, one sheik purchased 16 camels for $4.5 million during one such pageant. Brings new meaning to "my humps, my lovely lady lumps."![Miss Catfish]()
Miss Catfish. Belzoni, Mississippi. Yeah, they're bottom-feeding, whisker-waving and kind of mean-spirited - and no, they're not lawyers. Rather they're catfish, and fried up with some batter they're darn fine eatin'. So why not celebrate the cash crop of Mississippi every year, as 20,000 visitors to Belzoni do, with a World Catfish Festival on the lawn of the courthouse? There's a 5K race, an eating contest, and, of course, a Miss Catfish. Fortunately, based on photos, she does not require whiskers.![Miss Spring]()
Miss Spring. Siberia, Russia. Such a pleasant-seeming title belies the truth: This particular pageant is designed for the inmates of UF 91/9, a women's prison camp so remote it's 20 miles removed from Siberia's capital, Novosibirsk. Inmates created their own rules for the program, which began in 1990, creating three competitive categories: Greek Goddesses, Flower Gowns and Imaginary Uniforms. The event is broadcast on local television, and certain participants have even become movie stars, of a sort: A "Miss Gulag" documentary about the pageant was released in 2007. And no, the winner does not get her sentence commuted.![Miss Plastic Surgery]()
Miss Plastic Surgery. China. With even adolescents getting touch-ups these days, the rules about plastic surgery and beauty pageants are going to have to loosen up a bit - so it's a shame that "Miss Plastic Surgery" was a one-time only deal. The 2004 contest was organized after an 18-year old woman was thrown out of another Chinese pageant specifically because she'd had work done. Participants from around the world joined the 90 contestants, including one extreme surgery participant - a 21-year old transsexual. The winner got a country club membership worth $6,000. Maybe she traded it in and got some more work done?![Miss Snake Charmer]()
Miss Snake Charmer. Sweetwater, Texas. Most beauty pageants don't require winners to be associated with venomous creatures. Not so much in Texas, where the annual Sweetwater Rattlesnake Roundup features rattlesnake milking, rattlesnake eating - and a queen for the spectacle. The pageant itself is fairly traditional, though there are far more rattlers around than judges. In 2009 the event celebrated its 50th crowning and a high school student earned $1,250 in scholarship money.![Miss Klingon Empire]()
Miss Klingon Empire. Atlanta, Georgia. The next time someone says your beauty is out of this world, consider heading down to Atlanta, where for the past 10 years the Dragon*Con sci-fi/fantasy convention has been anointing the loveliest, fiercest aliens ever dreamed up by Gene Roddenberry, creator of "Star Trek." Contestants must walk down a runway dressed in full Klingon makeup and creative regalia, demonstrate three minutes of talent, and of course stay in Klingon persona the entire time. That usually means "demure" is out the window, and contestants often end up shoving one another aside onstage. Last year, the convention's newsletter quoted the 2007 winner as being not thrilled to hand over her crown in 2008. She told the reporter, "I'll cut the head off the new winner, and then I'll have two crowns and a trophy." Isn't that cute?![Miss Subways]()
Miss Subways. New York City, New York. Between 1941 and 1976, the ad agency New York Subways Advertising selected the "loveliest" subway rider of them all (female, natch), whose face was featured in ads all over the subways. It was a neat gimmick that proved to be somewhat progressive - there was an African-American and Asian-American Miss Subways before the 1940s were even over. Nominees were picked by a modeling agent, then winners selected by a phone-in vote, presaging the "American Idol" frenzy. Before the event ended, over 200 individuals had been "Miss Subways," and in 2004 it was revived one last time thanks to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority and the New York Post. One change: It was "Ms. Subways" for the modern age. Curious tourists can see many of the photos of former Miss/Ms. Subways winners at Ellen's Stardust Diner in New York city - the owner, Ellen Hart Sturm, was one herself in 1959.
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- 10 Weird and Wacky Pageants
